21st Century Disjointed #Rant
Wednesday, June 2, 2010 at 12:17PM#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Ian Daley
We’ve reached, and past, the point where we’re just using the internet, the internet, and some of the minds behind it, are using us. My marital status on Facebook states “single” and I checked off “male”, I even gave them my birthdate so I could be more easily recorded and monitored. Right now, there are people capturing and tagging animals in the wild, then tracking their movements and, in some cases, even their vital signs.
The same thing is happening with the internet, as I stare at the screen, it takes a brief moment to think before it refreshes to that next page. When we bookmark pages and tag then share articles we enjoy, somewhere, “someone” is watching, piling up data and thinking of new ways to monetize the streams of information we unwittingly provide as we go about our daily online lives, our “on-lives”. That’s why ads in my email offer me discounts on my sports team’s apparel after I checked their (usual lack of) progress earlier in the day. My aforementioned Facebook entries earn me obnoxious ads proclaiming that I can get anything from a date, to a mate, to someone willing to fulfill my more short-term needs, shall we say, all for a simple click of the mouse, what a deal! And should I need a boost before any potential brief romantic “holiday”, I know there is “all natural Viagra” to spring my stem to life and supplements which extend an offer to provide more space on my tree for tinsel trimming (wink).
But nothing in life is really free. Ten years ago, the only thing I cared about in relation to the internet was how fast my pirated movies, porn and/or songs were going to download. It took a while for me to realize that it’s a two way street, as fast as content can go to me is as fast as my movements can be tracked and tucked away. I, now, think I want out, if I’m smart, that is (writer’s note: I’m not smart and I’m not alone).
Over the last couple years, I’ve heard Congressmen talk about legislating piracy to protect people. Forgive me for not soaking myself with joy and then forgetting the whole ordeal, but we know machinations of a legislature are slow; web developers are fast. By design, our political process doesn’t stand a chance. The Senate is not called a deliberative body because it quickly and effectively solves problems.
We’re looking at a good fifty years-to maybe-never, before our internet experience is completely safe. The “never” certainly applies to an online experience without some of the saturation marketing we’re seeing now where everyone and their cousin will get you out of debt. Allow me to posit, if your financial position is not perfect, do you want to constantly be reminded of it? Even if you were to use one of those services and it didn’t turn out to be a scam (color me skeptical), how do you escape the flyers from the sky some of these companies use? The internet, the radio, the TV, they are all one screaming to you? Even sites like Hulu, which give you feedback buttons related to ads that appear on your screen, replace the tampon ad I labeled irrelevant with an online dating site in which I have no interest, grrrrrrrrr.
The worst ads show up on random websites you click on out of Google results, traversing unfamiliar territory, you gingerly tap your toe on new ground and BOOM! “Do you want to increase the size of your penis?” How can I say, “No, my penis size is fine! And, if she has a problem with what I’m offering and still wants to stick around, first, I hope she’s at least polite about it, and second, if she knows enough to consider me inadequate, she probably also knows where to buy a robotic substitute!”
By the way, do I want a bigger penis? Absolutely not! It’s made enough bad decisions for me, I’m not going to make it bigger and more potent!
In all honesty, I’m not going to withdraw from society, most of us aren’t, it’s impractical and weird. I’m certainly not going to stop using the internet, so I’ll do the next best thing, I’ll bitch about it, then continue feeding the beast, it’s the American way.
Reader Comments (3)
Lovesss me some ian
not as much as I loves me some Jen, whoooo hoooooo
your awesome... and i love (as i always have) your writing.
you are truly fabulous. xoxoxo ;)