Unkie Chuck Norris Says ...

Most successful men have not achieved their distinction by having some new talent or opportunity presented to them. They have developed the opportunity that was at hand.

Oh yeah and Chuck Norris once got into a fight with a one-armed Ninja. Seeing that he had an unfair advantage, Chuck Norris ripped both of his arms off and one of his legs. He then roundhouse-kicked the ninja in the head, killing him instantly, and proceeded to sow his limbs back on using only a rusty tent spike and bailing wire.

Unkie Chuck Norris Says ...

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.

Oh yeah and according to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American ‘Trail of Tears’ has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.

Unkie Chuck Norris Says ...

I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act. 

Oh yeah and Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell ‘What The Hell was That?’

Unkie Chuck Norris Says ...

Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.

Oh yeah and Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is ‘his’ way.

Unkie Chuck Norris Says ...

Dreams are illustrations from the book your soul is writing about you.

Oh yeah and Chuck Norris can taste lies.