Facebook Status O'El Dia

"I like how the bitch calls herself 'little'. Yeah. Maybe in 1989." - the Little Mermaid's friend.

This has been an actual Facebook Status Update. Read more here: 

Fun with #OkCupid: 3 different emails ... 3 different responses

First up, if you haven't read my OKC profile - you can check it out over yonder. Might make some sense to the things guys reply to, haha. But for reals, these are all actual emails I've received recently, and my actual responses back to them. It is through this transparent experience that I hope you all can take away some knowledge on what works and what doesn't in the hopes of making your online dating experiences that much more fanschmastically awesome. YAYYYY ONLINE DATING YAYYY!!! K ... cool ... here we go ...

Do I want to chat on AIM? What?!?!?! No, it's an online dating website!! You live in the same city that I do - why wouldn't we just grab a beer or a cup of coffee?? 

Lame. Lame. Lamer than lame. Men under no circumstances should you EVVEERRR message this to a woman. For reals, step out of the chat rooms and step into IRL. 

Actual Response: None

Ahhhhh he must be referencing this video ... 

Like I said after my tour of a BDSM club, it's something that I still have yet to explore further, but in the right intimate setting .... with the right person ... yeah, I'd be game. I genuinely don't know if I'm going to find it on OKC though. Hey! Maybe when I'm in NYC next ... but doubtful. 

Actual Response: None

I can't BEGIN to tell you how many emails a week I get asking that same thing ... and I just wanna know ... WHO THE FUCK HAS IT EVER WORKED ON?? 

Seriously!! Who has EVVEERRR said, yes, creepy OKC dude, I will gladly come over to your apartment - or better yet you come to mine - where I will gladly undress for you as you rub oil all over my body. 

A guy I am seriously dating is ABSOLUTELY allowed to give me a rub down ... a random on OKC? You have GOT to be kidding me!! 

Fail. 

Fail. 

Fail.

Dudes, don't ever message this to a girl. Instead, pick one detail from her profile and ask her to elaborate. Maybe if I happened to be a masseuse that could be a nice lead in - but it's too strong otherwise. Stick with what you already know about the person and ask in a clear and concise email for them to tell you more. 

Actual Response: None

There ya go nerderinos. Hope this makes you all feel 5% more normal! Best of luck out there!!!

#love

#Status: Single. A 6 Month No Man Mission (love thyself)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Tiffany. She's a love addict who is now purging herself of men in the hopes of finding a cure. Think she can do it?? She has given herself six months, and I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT TIFFANY!!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @nomanmission

Just to be clear, this post is not primarily about a man, it is about all people that I desire to have in my life and what happens to me when I actually care if they stick around or not, and until I feel safe from the possibility of getting hurt.

It amazes me how much the idea of love throws me off of my path. How I am willing to completely throw all of myself into the possibility of love. It’s like love and being in love is the primary reason I was brought to this Earth. It controls my every move in life. I am so ruled by my heart that my head feels like it is in a constant battle between reason and feeling. I am in awe of how obvious my lessons are. It almost seems like a cosmic joke. Or- am I just so tuned in that I can see what is being thrown at me and why?  It is leaving me very clear, yet sublimely uncomfortable with dealing with what “is”.

I get so caught up in fantasy and possibility that the moment the promise of that fantasy or possibility goes away I am left in withdrawal mode. Sad, cold, lonely staring into the face of that old familiar feeling. Longing for what has been lost.

It can’t be healthy to be so obsessed with love. Why do I keep searching for love outside of myself? Why is it that I think I am in love with myself until I actually have feelings for someone else? Suddenly I begin to pick myself apart, I become a more reserved version of who I am, I find everything wrong with myself that the other person might see and then I get caught up in that place. Next thing I know, I am a watered down version of the amazing woman that I actually am because I have become so self conscious.. I don’t like it. I have definitely lost myself as of late. That is why I know that although I have aborted my mission, I still have tons of work to do. How can I expect anyone to be in love with me if I am not in love with myself? I need to be in love with and proud of every single facet of my being. I need to own who I am, how I feel, what I think, and not shrink into some mold of what I think someone else wants me to be, just so they stay in my life. That is absolutely ridiculous and I am not usually like that at all. I am pretty outspoken, forward, and unapologetic about who I am and how I feel. I am outrageous, dirty minded, silly, and sarcastic. But, I have been none of those things recently. I have stopped writing, stopped expressing myself, stopped being me essentially.

What I have learned from this awareness is that the right people will love me, for me. I don’t need to cast a veil on myself for the approval of others. In fact, I don’t need approval. Just like Dr. Suess says “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those that mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind”.

I’m not saying that I have to be any specific way because of anyone else. I do it all to myself and honestly, in the end it probably makes me much less desirable. I have no problem being me and loving me and expressing myself when there is nothing to lose (in the beginning), but the minute I actually care if someone is in my life or not, I shrink. The vulnerability, and possibility of being hurt, not accepted, or completely rejected makes me dim my inner light.

Awareness. It is all about awareness. With this knowledge I can begin to notice it as it is happening and cut it off at the pass. I don’t want to shrink so that someone stays in my life. I need to be me, unadulterated, me....all the time. Because the truth is, you can’t hide from the truth. Everyone’s true nature comes out sooner or later. Actually, when I think about it, I have many amazing friends who have been in my life for a very long time, I have men that have loved and still love me to this day...all for me being the pure, unadulterated, crazy, ME. If that isn't motivation enough to love myself, shine my truth, and dance in the glory of my essence, then I don't know what is!

The question is, am I bold enough to reveal this truth to anyone who reads it? Am I ready to be so vulnerable, so open to the judgement of others, so exposed? Am I ready to let everyone know the inner workings of my insecurities? I think the answer is yes, because I want people in my life who want me, the good, the bad, the ugly. I say that now, but the minute I hit “publish” I will panic. It is the inquiry, the dance, the truth.

My name is Tiffany, and I am willing to bet that I am not the only one who struggles with such things.

#thatisall

click here to follow Tiffany on twitter!

#DodgeDartDrive: They're still ... talking ... about ... @jalopnik

<editorsnote> I do not do not do not edit ANY of the content that the 75 contributors submit on this site. This one arrived in my inbox this morning, and as much as I'd like to put the Jalopnik and other auto bloggers comments about me aside - it, again, is my current reality. Here is my buddy Jordan's take on it ... HIT IT JORDAN!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi

To the people taking potshots at my friend Jen:

I am not a bandwagon sympathizer for the cute girl - I do not always agree with everything Jen does, and I certainly can't say I live my own life the same way.

However, something I do have, and something I am assuming the mass of you attackers don't have is face time with her. See I know Jen. We’ve hung out, drank, and played trivia together. She isn't a supermodel, she isn't the face of corporate greed, and she isn't a slut. She's simply honest and very upfront. This scares the hell out of you people.

I have seen Jen take on numerous tasks and the people who gave her these tasks were not guaranteed a glowing recommendation of their product from her. Her mission statement doesn't revolve around doing whatever she can to get what she wants. In fact her life goal is quite the opposite. She will not give a rave review of something if it doesn't meet her standards and even then always admits that this is her own personal experience with whatever she is using.

You are simply invited to view her transparent life. People will say and do whatever they can to secure money or material things - Jen does not. She just is. She lives and writes about it. Sure some people grow uncomfortable with her openness in so many matters, sexual, spiritual, or even her lifestyle. This is their prerogative and if they want another website is just a click away. There are literally millions of other websites that support your mind set. Still you can't stop reading can you. You can't just turn away from Jen. Be it the drama that seems to chase her from her determined stance on honesty, or the rigorous routine she has set for herself to achieve her life goals. You just can't stop reading. Can you?

So in your hatred now for yourself as you continue to read about my friend Jen, you lash out at her. You call her a slut for her promiscuity, because having sex with people is sluttish behavior for sure. We admonish any male for doing the same. Giving out high fives like trophy's and look down on any girl as unsatisfactory for her desire to experience her own ecstasy. Never acknowledging that the cost a woman pays for allowing herself to experience her sexuality is littered with dangerous pitfalls.

She didn't go looking for a car review - she absolutely didn't care. I can tell you that honestly. They came to her. She draws people in. She said yes because she accepts adventures. One of the things I love the most about her is her limitless desire to say yes to anything that sounds like it could be an adventure. Schedule doesn't dictate her life, nor do the demands most of us feel burdened with. She lives and through her so many of you 9 – 5 workers live vicariously.

For my sake she helped me find my own voice. I wasn't really a writer, blogger, speaker... anything before Jen pulled me into her world. I tried to speak through my art prior to that. Jen gave me a megaphone and let me speak about my own adventures. So before you start hurling insults at someone you don't know. Before you start tearing down my friend whom I assure you is a real person and has real feelings. No matter how hard she fronts. Every slight about her as an individual cuts at least a little bit. Put yourself in her shoes.

Shoes that have traveled, that have seen tragedy and joy. If you put yourself out there with no barriers to protect you ... no insulated internet wall of anonymity to keep others from trolling you ... to be who you really are and just see how many people would accept you for who you really are and not who you want the world to see you as. You will see how having strangers tear you down would feel. So keep hiding behind your amassed knowledge of things you most presumably won't possess; screaming facts and figures like they are bullets with intent to tear my friend down.

Just remember when all your facts matter not and this whole thing passes and you find a new face to fret about. Jen will still be Jen and totally in love with who she is. Just being as real as she can be. You... you will still be whatever mask you are wearing that day wishing you could pull it off and live just one day as honestly as Jen does. Try it, try just being yourself. It's all Jen ever asked of me. It's all I've tried to do since.

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Jordan on the twittah!

click here to read Jen's final response

#NerdsUnite: The power of synchronicity

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Aaron ... he's a writer, and goth nerd. For reals, he's got some crazzyyyyy ass stories from some of the peeps he's met online, and is now here to share those crazy ass stories with you all. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT AARON!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @aaronflux

Did I ever tell you I'm an actor?  No, I don't think I have stated that yet.  And honestly, it's something I don't advertise much anymore.  It's easy information to find, sure.  All you have to do is Google my name and I'm sure you'll find some interesting stuff.  But over the past few years, I seemed to have grown tired of being an "actor" in this city.

Let me backtrack a bit here.

When I was 18 years old, I acted on a pretty popular television show called VR Troopers.  It was delivered in the same ridiculousness as The Power Rangers and for roughly two years of my life, I was a full time working actor.  Not bad for someone who just graduated from high school.  I had a love and passion for acting, always had.  I grew up in L.A. and had done plays since the first grade.  And there I was, 18 years old and I had "made it".

Well, not really.  I didn't understand all the politics and such behind it and working on a Non Union show was a weird introduction to being a working actor as the hours were long and the pay was shit.  But still, from there, I moved on to some bit parts and for a good ten years or so, I made a partial living from acting in commercials.  But then, my life changed a few years ago.  Once again, this is related to the 7 year long hell ride which was my last relationship.  From there, I had decided I needed to make some drastic changes in my life.  I went into therapy.  I changed my diet.  I started exercising.  And on top of all that, I acquired myself a decent paying day job.  Before this point, I had never really had a decent paying steady and reliable day job as acting was my number 1 priority.  So with that priority, one finds themselves working night job, odd jobs, part time jobs, whatever it takes to keep the days open for that next audition.

Something changed.  I'm not sure if it was the synchronicity of it all.  Hitting my 30s, owning up to the mistakes from my 20s (and ultimately the debt that accrued from those years), and succumbing to the frustration of not moving forward as quickly as I had liked.  See, in my early 20s, it was my goal to be a successul and possibly famous actor by 30.  My best friend and I would always joke that I never wanted to end up like Dennis Woodruff and either make it by 30 or give up.

Well I didn't "make it" by then and thusly, I had started hating the business.  When I got my day job, I had decided it'd be best to put acting aside to supply more of a supplemental income and not be my main goal and focus as it once was. 

I still went on regular commercial auditions but it seemed I couldn't get past the callbacks...and I am great at getting callbacks.  Thankfully, my job is flexible to these auditions when I get them but my patience slowly stopped being so...available.  More and more, I began thinking that it was a good run.  I've worked on a few television shows, 21 commercials, a movie or two...there are many people in this city who'd probably want to be in my shoes, right?  I even got to be in my friend's horror short which has seen some film festival exposure this year....not too shabby.

It was back in January when I called my commercial agent and told them I needed a break.  I had gotten to a point where I couldn't be around actors.  They made me want to rage pee all over.  Just spew flaming hot piss in a made violent rage like a...I don't know what. 

The cliches are true and I was fed up.  It got so bad that I'd go into auditions angry because I was going to an audition.  Then there was that thought that kept repeating in my head.  If I hated actors and I pursued acting, how was I feeling about myself?  I almost quit right there but agreed to take a little break and think things through.

Then I had foot surgery and was stuck with nothing but my thoughts for almost a month to keep me company as I was unable to do much else but sit on the couch and try to distract myself with TV, books, and video games.  And slowly, strangely enough, I began to miss it.  The commercial world is a different beast than auditioning for TV or Film and sometimes can really beat a person's spirit down but damn, I missed it! 

Roughly around this time, I received an email inviting me to appear at the 3rd Annual Power Morphicon as a celebrity guest.  I went two years ago for the first time and you can read about that here.  That experience was eye opening and humbling.  I'm going back.  I still find the whole thing a little weird but I'm going back.  Sometimes you need to reflect on the past to move forward and that, above all else, is what this convention seems to do for me.

Then there's this other bit of synchronicity...

A few weeks ago, I was added to a Facebook group made up of the cast and crew of VR Troopers.  Most of these people, I have not since in roughly 18 years.  There's a gathering planned.  A reunion of sorts.  I feel like this will be the closest thing I'll have to a high school reunion (since I'll probably never be invited to any).  That was a rough time in my life.  I've changed so much and blocked so much out from those days that the thought of seeing everyone makes me nervous, yet I'm looking forward to it.

Synchronicity.

Last night, I received an email from a friend I haven't seen since 1992.  He wrote a script.  He has financing and names attached.  He wants me to read for the lead.  Seriously.  I have not seen him since Jr. High School.  And a lead?  In a movie?! Well shit... I'm not necessarily one of those people that believe the universe pushes you in a certain direction.  But then again, I'm not necessarily one of those people who don't believe such things. 

Here I am, 7 years since I booked my last professional gig.  I've all but given up on my dream, choosing instead to pursue a steady job that provides financial stability and the still strange comfort that brings.  I've dealt with certain realities that life doesn't always turn out how you dream after booking a TV show right out of high school. I've had rejection and failure spoon fed to me by the bucket load.  And now, these things have started happening.  I don't quite know what to make of it all. 

Little bits of excitement seem to be surfacing and I'm now remembering why I became an actor all those years ago.  I'm older.  I'm wiser.  And I'm pensive about what choices and decisions I should make going forward.  This is still new to me, as up until fairly recently, I had racked up a history of making some very manic (and some very stupid) decisions. 

I'm not sure what will happen going forward.  But what's funny is, I'm not worried.

And that kinda worries me.

#thatisall

click here to follow Aaron on the twitter!