#TrueStory: I've never had a Valentine
Tuesday, January 25, 2011 at 10:04PMBeauty is isolating. Seriously. Being commercially attractive by society's standards is a very weird thing. (Please note, I do say that as humbly ... but incredibly matter of fact as possible.) Men are afraid to approach you, and women think you are a bitch. You basically operate in your own little world. I know ... world's smallest violin, eh? Oh trust ... I'm not complaining ... it can also open a lot of doors ... jigga jigga jigga!
I've spent my entire life being very focused. I never had a boyfriend growing up, because I was either launching one of my many side businesses (I had a little babysitting thing going on, and when I was 8, I launched "Computers Anonymous," this program where I could teach old people how to type, edit a wordperfect doc, and I believe even use Prodigy at the time. I had a notebook, and official letterhead. I felt SO special, and official!!!), or in a dance class. Don't get me wrong though ... I was TOTALLLLLYY boy crazy, the hormonal part started very early.
I've spent literally my entire life in this constant state of contradiction. I am a hopeless romantic, but understand that you create your own destiny, and this notion of "another half" being out there is just weird. I'm not a fan of chivalry in any regard, unless some dude at a bar won't leave me be, then 5 across the eyes is a welcomed treat. Please don't open my car door, I find it to be terribly inefficient, but opening the door to a restaurant or anything else is just common decency. I don't like Disney movies, and don't subscribe to the notion of a "happily ever after" ... yet wouldn't mind being swept off my feet from time to time.
I want someone to do something because it came from a place of inspiration, and not a Hallmark commercial.
I've spent my entire adulthood dating a series of not nice guys. I get it now, but it took me this last year to truly understand that I dated not so nice guys because I didn't accept and love myself. No descent guy stood a chance. They say nice guys finish last? Only if the women of the world don't understand their own value and understand that they deserve a nice guy. Bad boys are popular for a reason ... cause bitches be crazy!!! HA! I won't hate, I was one of 'em.
Take the focus and determination and pepper it in with modeling and all the other commercially appealing but psychologically isolating conditions I volunteered myself for, and it equals to 26 years of not a single Valentine. I had been in relationships in the past during Valentines day - but the only one that was serious enough had to travel for 2 weeks during February. Yep, no Valentines day date.
I want a date on Valentines day, damnit. Do me a favor ... if you like this site, and dig what I'm about ... send me a message on OKCupid. I'm totally serious about this. I want a date on Valentines day, but clearly not just anyone. Fill out the personality profile, and make sure we're a match and all that fun stuff. This would totally be a weird nerdy dream come true for me that I would greatly greatly greatly appreciate. Also, please don't think "oh you're going to get so many messages why should I even try ..." You'd be surprised. Please just send. I'll respond. Thank you in advance.
Click here to view my profile on OKCupid
xoxo #nerdsunite
Reader Comments (5)
If I may offer an insight, I think the dilemma lies in the fact that all your dates end up as material content for this site. That can be very intimidating, as you should be well aware because you think like a guy which I find as you call it "unapologetically awesome". It can be quite taxing, almost comparable to performing magnificently in bed. With an audience. And guys who might not necessarily have confidence issues, might very well be put off by it and run the opposite direction. That now leaves you with guys who have ulterior motives, which is the delight of seeing themselves mentioned on your site. Absolutely an ego thing.
all of them dont. if i really really really like a guy, i wont post on him at first, because i want to see where it goes. its honestly only lasted a few dates, and then nada. but yeah, i agree - guys can totally be star fuckerish ... i had one dude back when i worked for livevideo want me to pitch a show like newlyweds where we would livestream our relationship and what not. it was literally the first date. #sigh
criticalobserver, i really appreciate your input man. been gnarly chatting with you the last few days. im just gonna keep on keepin on, but express my feelings as i go. rock on el duderino!
Key word here being "at first". Maybe the prospect turns south after you have posted about the said date. #justsayin
no its more on my end. not theirs. i lose interest.
you sound like a bitch