#WTF: About last night ... Can I get a rundown? (Mr. & Mrs. Smith, pimping bus fairy)

Oh dear god ... what a fucking night. It's really funny how running a website and posting on your life can amplify your experiences so much. Everyone wants to be part of an adventure - it's the grestest thing ever. 

Hold on though, first up I need a song to go with the post ... 

Fuck. Yes. I love me some Green Day. 

So, yesterday afternoon I got hit up on Facebook by Mr. Smith asking what I was up to - "it's our buddy XYZ's bday, you should come out!" 

I had planned on writing all evening since I am a bit behind in my reviews for Mirror, but since the place they were kicking it at is LITERALLY up the street from me, I figured why not. 

They had gotten a super swanky suite so we kicked it there pre-gaming for a hot minute before heading down to the club. 

Now, I absolutely adore adore adore Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I think they are two of the most fascinating people, ever, and are SO UNBELIEVABLY happy with themselves and their relationship ... they blow me away. I absolutely apsire to have everything that they have in my life on day, so all the sexual shenanigans aside hanging out with them totally makes my life and sadly doesn't happen that often. 

We catch up for a minute while I get my drink on - and good god, vodka is not beer. I loovveeee me some beer. Beer is my jam - the craft-ier the better ... but fuck I get drunk on vodka something fast and fierce. 

I'm 27 and I'm irish so when I drink ... I drink like a fucking fish. Drinking vodka all evening however lead to my feet being on fire and busting some serious moves on the dance floor. 

In my head I thought I was dancing like this ... 

When actually I was dancing more like this ... 

Dudes I was a dancer for FIFTEEN YEARSSSSS ... I don't know what happened - but now I not only can't dance, there is also not an ounce of sexy in it at. all. 

Fortunately however, I was drunk enough that the table of dudes I was Carlton-ing in front of made me another cranberry and vodka. 

WINNING!!! 

It was great - there were about 10 of us, all super cute girls (and Mr. & Mrs. Smith of course) ... everyone was super friendly and all looking for a good time. 

THENNNN at last call my drunky pants mcgee self went back upstairs with the Smiths for a hot minute before I grabbed my belongings and left. Even though the Smiths and I have unfinished business together, I am GENUINELY looking to have a healthy relationship in my life. Part of that is laying the groundwork for one to be allowed to grow. 

1) I had to stop posting on my personal dating life. Hence why I've been taking guys in the field and have switched into more of an advisorship role (total dream come true, btw. I found SUCHHH a calling working with Neil Strauss' students last year). 

2) I have to ease up on my sexual escapades. Guys want a lady in the street and a freak in the sheets. I am not only a freak I PUBLISH said freakiness on the fucking internet. You can follow the adventures of my vagina for the last 2 years ... and no guy ... ANYWHERE ... EVER wants to read that. 

I'm learning ... I'm learning ... but a big part of last night was sexual self control. I do enjoy the Smiths and the time spent with them, but I was also elated that even in that ridiculously intoxicated state all I wanted to do was to go home, alone, and think about this dude that I totes heart. 

Mrs. Smith then walked me out, and as we were getting in the elevator she thanked me for coming out. Dude, are you kidding me? I replied - I love love love it when I can kick it with you. 

We really appreciate that. So many people judge our lifestyle, it can be incredibly hard. 

Let them judge!! I replied back. You guys are living your truth, and following your bliss. ROCK ON!!! I want what you guys have together so badly one day. You just have to keep doing what you're doing. 

She then hugged me and kissed me on the cheek wishing me a safe journey back. 

I then whipped out my iPhone and headphones and walked over to wait for the bus. At this point, it was 3:30 am, and the buses only come every half hour - but I was game for some Hollywood people watching. 

I was sitting at Hollywood and Vine for less than 5 minutes before this guy in a mock tuxedo with a top hat and gold accessories approached me.

THIS is going to be interesting I thought.  

Why are you sitting here by yourself, he asked. 

Oh, just waiting for the bus. It'll be here in just a second. 

I was lying, of course, since again they only come by every half hour. 

Can I give you a ride somewhere? You shouldn't be sitting out here all by yourself. 

Now, normally, when a guy in a mock tuxedo with a top hat and gold accessories approaches you on Hollywood Blvd at 3:30 am offering you a ride - you should fucking run. 

I can't describe it, but he had something kind in his eyes and I'm DAMNNN good at reading people and could tell this was going to be fine. 

That, and he said he just came back from the strip club so I knew he wasn't drunk. 

The mantra "say yes to everything always" popped in my head, so I said YES to the guy in a mock tuxedo with a top hat and gold accessories.

We start talking, shooting the shit, and come to find out we actually know a lot of the same people.

Smallest. World. Ever. I thought. You're just a friend I haven't friended yet - pleasure to meet ya!

Likewise, he replied.

We then went down to Lexington to pick up his car, and he drove me back home in his pick up truck.

You're sure this isn't out of your way? I replied

Nope! I'm actually on my way to meet a girl. I've been on a 3 month dry spell, and well, tonight I'm ending it.

Good for you! I say! You go on with your sexual self.

He then pulled up to my apartment and said, but I'd still like to get your number if that's okay.

I laugh thinking, dude you're about to go bone another chickadee. Again though, saying yes to everything, I agreed and gave him my digits.

I'd like to take you to a movie tomorrow. What would you like to see?

The Hunger Games!! I replied back super excited.

I genuinely wasn't mad at the guy, he's super cute, but again I'm crushing on someone else right now. 

I give my new friend a hug and a big thank you for the ride. 

I then stumble inside the apartment hysterically laughing. 

Life, are you REALLY this random?? And how did I not just get chopped up into a million pieces by that dude? I never EVER say yes to rides like that - drunk or not. All very weird, even for me. 

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a lot of texts from last night I have to go through and laugh at. The entertainment never stops!!! 

#YAYLIFE

Everyone is special. All the time. We're all snowflakes fluttering about uniquely perfect in our own imperfections. ::sarcasm:: No one is special dude, only awesome. However, spank you very very very much again for the ride and for not killing me. Death would totally be a downer. 

ANNNNNDDD I just got dissed. Well done, Friel. You got dissed by a guy walking on Hollywood blvd at 3:30 am wearing a mock tuxedo rocking gold accessories. This is truly a life moment.