#NerdsUnite: Comfort zone be gone! (three young girls walked into a British pub ...)
Wednesday, June 13, 2012 at 12:01PM<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Chelsea. She's a newbie to our loverly state of California and is currently trying to find her own voice and find her own way. Gosh, aren't we all??? She's here today to talk about her journey in life, love, and all things nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT CHELSEA!!</editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @chelofthesea
Nothing I love more than life deciding to remind me of something in the strangest of ways.
Last week, one of my favorite people in South Florida and I planned to go get a drink. This friend, who I will call Babs, is someone I always have fun with. I really do wish she lived on the west coast because I know we would have the wildest adventures together. Whenever I’m in town, we make sure to set aside a night to catch up on each other’s lives, specifically our current boy situation. You see, Babs and I both got out of serious relationships at the same time and find we continue to have weirdly similar life experiences.
So after our usual hour of banter over beers, we ended up at a really cool spot in my hometown. One of Babs’ friends (we’ll call her Macy) decided to meet us there for what ended up being a wicked fun girl’s night.
Let me set the scene… Three young girls sitting at the corner of the bar at a British pub, being waited on by young, handsome bartenders. Due to the fact that it was pretty late on a weeknight, there wasn’t much of a crowd at the bar. Honestly, the only other people I remember seeing were two middle-ages couples gettin’ freaky on the stools next to us. As a beer noob, I ordered a beer sampler and asked the bartender to surprise me with what he thought I would like, letting him know I have a tendency to prefer Hefeweizens. Babs was having weird food cravings and ordered a large side of celery, nothing else.
Needless to say: The lack of customers + our not so typical orders + copious amounts of giggling = LOTS of attention from the bartenders.
Halfway through our beers, and some discussion of Macy’s current romantic situation, we all realized the cutest bartender (we’ll call him Turk) was flirting it up with Macy. Logically the next step was for Babs and I to encourage Macy give Turk her number! Neither of us had ever done that, so in a weird way I think we were trying to live vicariously through their already obvious spark.
After the note was written, Turk walked back over. The series of events here is really important: He grabs the receipts (one of which is folded) and then starts to talk to us about his ex girlfriend. Yep, that happened. And when I say, “talk” I don’t mean casually reference… I mean POUR HIS HEART OUT. He told us how he was still in love with her and how girls at the bar always flirt with him but he’s not in the place to date any of them. He opened up about a death in his family, about how he fucked the relationship up, and about how badly he wanted her back. This conversation goes on and on. When it wraps up and we leave the bar, Babs and I literally erupt into laughter, even though Macy was obviously embarrassed. After flooding her with questions as to why she didn’t take the receipt back and exchange it for the other copy, both girls tell me I must go inside and tell him that she wrote it before the hour-long therapy session, and that they both would love to come back while he’s working without it being totally awkward. Being the good friend I am, and because I know it’s almost always better to acknowledge the elephant in the room, I obliged and Trey actually said he was quite flattered (duh).
This seems like a lot of rambling about a story that might not be as funny in words as it was in person but I promise there’s a reason. It got me thinking… Sometimes going out of your comfort zone is scary. Sometimes you take a leap a faith only to fall flat on your ass. But regardless, you always end up learning something from the experience. I think Macy learned that she was ballsy enough to let a dude know she’s interested in him, rather than waiting around for him to make the first move. And ya know what? That’s rad! I mean, yeah, it’s not the biggest deal. She didn’t do anything other women haven’t done before. But it was new for her and took her stepping out of her comfort zone!
Jen talks about facing your biggest fear all the time. For her, it was skydiving. For me, my biggest fear isn’t quite as tangible. I know the idea of doing things alone has always made me shit my pants and that’s why I continue to force myself to face that fear on a weekly basis. I know I’ve always said no to situations where I thought I might feel uncomfortable or awkward, but no more. So that’s why I continue to force myself (though sometimes unsuccessfully) to say yes.
With this in mind, and Macy as my inspiration, I’m ready to do at least five things I’ve never done before in the next two months. I already have a couple planned out that are going to be equally terrifying as they are fun. Of course, I’ll keep you all updated on my progress!
When’s the last time you did something that made your adrenaline pump and your palms sweat? Tweet me! I’d love to hear about it.
Reader Comments (2)
I'm impressed at your initiative. While I'm very outgoing myself (Jen has met me and can verify) I occasionally need to push myself with something.
I have no problem asking a girl out but since I've been so solitary lately I'm trying to compensate by setting a goal:
Ask out two girls a week.
This will require me to simply be out and about more, which is ultimately my goal.
So I'm using what's typically an end as a means (asking out/getting dates as a push to go out more and be around people).
Good read. Hope you're not discouraged to ask guys out! Sometimes we guys just don't notice you and you might be the perfect match for us; we just happen to be distracted or you're not standing out at the right moment (smile+eye contact, ladies, it's that simple!) or you give off a vibe you're not aware of that's working against you.
Get yourself noticed girls! It takes no effort to stand out above others in a crowd :)
@moids
Hey there!
Thanks for reading and commenting. Totally awesome to hear back from people who liked the post!
I think it's awesome that you've set that goal for yourself. I don't have a tangible goal like that, but I'm at least focusing on saying yes more often than no...even to guys who ask me out on OKC who I don't necessarily think I'll vibe with. But there's no real way to know without trying! I'd love to be more social/go out more often...so maybe I need to set a goal about that.
How has dating been treating you? I'm definitely scared to go up to a guy but I must say I'm a great smiler!! So hopefully that works in my favor.
Best of luck in this crazy world of dating!!
Chelsea