#NerdsUnite: Still Single? 5 Reasons Why You Can’t Commit

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Tyler Farmer

You want a committed relationship, maybe a happy marriage to a great partner. Yet, getting from "a serious relationship" to marriage is still elusive. It’s easy to blame the partners you have been with, but you picked them, so why does it seem that things never work out?

Reason One

Maybe one of the key reasons you're not married is because you already act like you are. You live together, share expenses, have two kids and share childcare activities. You have been together a long time, and when you have an argument you always manage to talk it out. Everything is ideal in your relationship except that you're not married. Yet, the kids call you Mom and Dad and you've taken on the role of either wife or husband. If you're the one hungering for marriage, you need to come up with a good reason to change the status quo.

Reason Two

Physical attraction is frequently mistaken for love. The statement may be a cliché, but it's true. The reasons can vary from preventing guilt to believing that you cannot be physically attracted to someone unless you are in love. It's no different than liking plain pizza but loving pepperoni pizza. If you're dieting, you can pass on plain pizza - you do not love it. But, if given the option of a pepperoni pizza, you seize it. Of course, this is not the case-- "loving" pepperoni pizza doesn't give you permission to act on that feeling and have a slice. Just as loving someone who attracts you physically is often the only reason you date the person-- even if they have traits you dislike. Pepperoni pizza really messes up your diet, and dating an attractive stalker can really mess up your life.

Reason Three

You are a member of the "Choisters"-- a word that was created, according to the Brisbane Times, by combining the words choice and oyster. You believe that something better will come along as soon as you make a commitment. So, to reserve your right to choose, and there are many choices available, you make no choice and as a result are not in a committed relationship. It seems the more choices we have; the less likely we are to make any at all.

Reason Four

In an article called "Love is Blind" (Psychology Today) the author, relationship expert Hara Estroff Marano suggests that we are often too eager to rush to commitment, and that truly committed relationships are built on five important concepts, in order:

• Know
• Trust
• Rely
• Commit
• Touch

These are not physical attributes but mental ones. Even touch is mind to mind, as we must be able to touch one another emotionally if we want to build a strong and lasting relationship.

Reason Five

Your online life is awful; in fact, if your parents read it they would disown you or insist you get counseling. You can never really erase anything you posted online, it's always at risk of going viral. This becomes a problem if someone gets a hold of your information and steals your identity. If you're dealing with credit card fraud or piles of debt -- as sad as it is -- chances are someone isn't going to want to quickly jump into a relationship with you. Your first line of defense is to learn financial responsibility. If that fails, identity theft services watch your personal information online and alert you of potential threats. A service life Lifelock Ultimate expands that watchful eye across a broad network of databases and information and uses advanced technology to watch your bank account, the use of your name and credit score. A person with their life in order attracts the same. You may not meet your perfect match overnight, but you can ready yourself in case you do.

#nerdsunite