#Adventure: 4 Cities in 30 Days - Dudes, last night I stayed in a glorified brothel

HAHA omg omg omg I am totally not even kidding either. This shit. is. bananas. First up, lemme get a post. Heard this on the metro this morning and it made me laugh because I was on something called the "loop" listening to this ...

Okey dokey - so my adventure kicked off yesterday traveling to Chicago for the #20SBSummit. I'm speaking at the conference tomorrow, and I wanted to get in last night to try and meet some of you today, and also catch the end of day 1.

I'm staying in a hostel here in Chicago, but the first night unfortunately they were all booked. Um yeah - they were ALL booked. FML, I thought - I'll just sleep in the airport.

Dudes, I slept in my car - I've slept in the airport before ... it's really not that big of a deal. You just have to literally sleep on your luggage and make sure you don't take any sleepaids so you can stay alert enough to move if you have to; it's not illegal to sleep in an airport, but it's not really welcomed either.

When I was in my meeting on Wednesday the venture capitalist duderino saw on my itinerary that I was going to be taking greyhounds and sleeping in the airport. Now mind you, I am getting paid to film this TV show, but I have to front some of the costs in executing. Sucky - but true, and when you're on a ramen and lemon water budget to begin with, it adds a whole horse of a different color.

The duderino looked down and said I can't have you doing this, you have to stay safe. BAM! He cut me a check. Like seriously, I started to cry at the table. I tried doing pretty girl cry - but it ended up somewhere in between pretty girl and baby seal.

Dude, this is a huge help - you have no idea.

No, I do, he said. I believe in you.

BOOM - just like that, I was able to get a hotel and not sleep in the airport. Still being frugal however, instead of opting for a 4 star, I hit up Expedia and found a loverly 2 star for $50 a night.

Actual expedia pictureIt's one night, I thought - and it looks really clean.

Whatever, I slept in my car - I won't be mad at it.

I look down at the amenities and they include a free shuttle from the airport and free wifi.

DUDES!!! You had me at free wifi!!!

BOOKED!!!!!!

Book the hotel, get on my flight - and after a bit of a delay and a gate change I end up in the windy city of Chi-town.

I reach into my little lanyard thingie that holds all of my travel documents, whip out my Droid charge and call the hotel asking where to pick up the shuttle.

::dials phone number doop dee doo:: Hi! I just landed and would like to know where I can pick up the shuttle to the hotel.

Do you have your luggage, said the crusty voice of the dude on the other line that sounded like he's been smoking for LITERALLY his entire life.

All set. I didn't check anything (Gone for a month and can still be a minimalist - this nerd is WINNING!).

Great. Meet out ::crackle crackle crackle::

Sir, I can't hear you. Can you speak up, or more clearly - please.

Yes, meet out ::crackle crackle crackle::

FML.

Sir, I REALLY cannot hear you ...

He cuts me off and screams, MEET OUT BY THE SHUTTLE AREA NUMBER THREE. TWENTY MINUTES!!!!!!

How long? I say (not trying to be a smartass but I genuinely couldn't hear)

Click.

The fucker hung up on me, I thought. Alrite, well let's just hope he's not the guy that is coming to pick me up - we are totes not going to be besties.

Twenty minutes later while sitting outside the GHETTOEST - and I mean GHEEETTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO white 1989, door falling off hinge, might have had the name of the hotel on the side of it back back back in the day, minivan pulled up.

Are you the chick from 310? (He asked for my number prior to my arrival. 310 is LA's area code)

That's me!

Get in, said the man with the same crusty voice.

FML

I hop in the creepy white van, with the creepy white driver and away I went to the hotel.

I google mapped it prior, so I knew it was only about 3 miles away - a short enough trip to stay out of trouble.

We pull up to the hotel, and I quickly realize it was not the same hotel as the picture. First up, it was on a SUPPERRRR ghetto street, and when I got out of the car there was BOOMING music coming from this "banquet" hall that moonlit as a club.

OMG OMG OMG please do not tell me I have to listen to this all night (it was about 1:30 am at this point).

He walks me inside and goes behind the counter. Last name, please?

Friel. Jennifer.

K, you're all set payment wise because you used Expedia. (THANK GOD!!! I do not want to give you my credit card.)

Here's your room number, 147 - go around the corner, to the right, hang another right, and down the hall.

Is that away from all this noise?

Ma'am - the club will close soon. You are fine.

Two girls dressed in bikinis approach to use the restroom which was next to reception. Hold up, I say dressed - they weren't dressed ... they had already FALLEN out of their bikinis.

Mind you too, I am from LA, go to the Playboy Mansion - I have ZZZEEERROOOOO problem with nudity. Hey man, I welcome it - be comfortable in your own skin ALWAYS.

These girls .... ::shivers:: ... made me rethink that entire philosophy. You can be too comfortable in your own skin when you are toothless with matted hair, and have added layers of love to your body that I didn't know fat could actually accumulate.

I. was. shocked.

I took these pictures SUPER quickly as I was walking out this morning. BAHHHH!!! I start walking down the hall and as I am walking by with my bags, guys are getting patted down at the door of the club.

I look up confused.

Hi mama ... guys start cooing.

A few more girls trickle out in bikinis.

OMG! I am just trying to find my room!!!!!!!!

I walk past, thank you - good night boys.

I continue walking down the hall completely freaked out looking over at dudes making out with these too comfortable in their own skin bikini girls.

I finally get to my room, and close the door.

WHEW! I made it, I thought. 

I turn around to bolt the door, and alas - there was no chain.

WHHHAAATTT!!!! How do they not have an extra lock on these doors? Are you shitting me?!!?!! 

Freaked out at the possibility of one of the club dudes walking into the wrong room, my ninja self took a look around at what I had and created a barricade. 

Duct tape and an ironing board, bitches!!!! 

So, that's how I slept. I actually got an AH-MAZING nights sleep!!! I think it had more to do with the fact that I was THAT exhausted, but who knows. Falling asleep to the sound of skin slapping skin is therapeutic. 

EEWWEEEEEE!!! 

There ya go! That happened! Adventures are already goin' down. This morning I asked the shuttle duderino to take me back to the airport so I could hop the metro. I snapped this picture of him ... 

Creepy McGee for izzles. 

And now I am sitting in a Panera bread drinking their AH-MAZING green ice tea, writing this, and attempting to escape the rain ... 

What is this wet stuff??? UGHH!!! I don't think I'm in LA anymore.

#thatisall

Click here to follow my updates in real time on Twitter - or dude, totes send me a tweet if you're nearby any of my Foursquare checkins!! Also, all pics will be posted on WhoSay! YAYYY LIFEEEEEE AND ADVENTURESSS!!! 

#TrueStory: I spent 36 hours trimming pot on a pot farm

HAHAHA!! Do they call them "pot farms"?? Is the preferential word, pot factory? Weed growing facility? Work with me here, guys!!! A nerd needs to know!!!

K ... so here's what happened and how it all went down.

First, lemme grab a song ...

ERRRRRR ... hold that thought, this isn't the song I wanna listen to while writing this ... it was WAYYY mellower.

Yep. This works.

Alrite, so on Monday I woke up super super super antsy. Totes not my style. I may work a good hustle, but for reals - I chillax and am straight up, down, left, and right a pretty mellow chica. My job in life is to play the best card that is ever dealt to me, not try to deal 'em. I very very very much just roll with the punches.

The problem is, I got dealt a lot of punches all at once. I was trying to wrap up the TV show I filmed in CT that caused my ADD to go THROOUUGHHHH THE ROOFFFF. Way to break out the world's tiniest violin right? But stressors are still stressors; I got overwhelmed. Doesn't happen often, but when it does I totes pull a Zack Morris and just say FREEZE!!!!

I needed a break.

It was about noon on Monday, and I was writing in the kitchen and looked out the window and said I would KILL to get a sponsored meditative retreat or something. I was a bit vague, but the creation was there.

Flash forward a few hours later, I get a text from my buddy Lindsay Mc asking if we could hang out and talk some biz. I was game ... but a few hours go by, and I got TIIRRREEEEDDDDDD!!! I am human, ftr ... this does happen on occasion. =)

So, I was kinda planning on asking Lindsay if we can kick it another night, and then the roomster came home after having a RAD day and was like - we need to hit up happy hour!!! Ahhhh fuckicky fuck fuck - I'm game, and that means that I'm also on with Lindsay.

So we all head to Barneys and Lindsay drops by and tells me this story of how she just got back from trimming pot in Northern California.

Now, first lemme preface this by saying this chick is BAT SHIT CRAZY. Like, I know I'm crazy ... I really do ... this chick has hitchhiked through various African countries, currently has Malaria, skates, skis, and boards every kind of board there is to have. She's insane ... and I love her for it.

I was not too terribly surprised to hear that she was doing something like this, but my next logical question was - WHEN CAN I DO IT TOO?!?!?!?

We then batted back and forth with schedules, I was doings this ... she was doing that ... then we both finally said fuck it! Let's just go tomorrow. She texted her buddy and asked if it was kosher if we came up, and he was in ... 16 hours later we hit the road!

Before we even took off, I made sure it was okay with Lindsay for me to write about it. I'm totally down for as many adventures as possible in life, but if I am told I can't write about something - I'm not interested in doing it. For REALS, I'm a lifecaster!!! I love love love you guys, and if I can't share it, I'm just not at all interested.

She said it was cool as long as I never disclosed where exactly it is that we were going. You all can guess til the cows come home, but I can never publicly confirm nor deny a location - and CERTAINLY cannot create a foursquare checkin. 

HAHAHAHA omg I can read it now ... "Pot Palace" ... no no wait, "Pot Paradise."

::breathes in:: ahhhh

<tangent> I'm actually not a stoner. It fucks with my ADD and can make me really really really anxious, on top of the fact that I genuinely LOVE working and hustling. Laying back realizing that every word that comes out of my mouth is fucking stupid does nothing for me. FOR REALS!!! The details of my own incompetence does not interest me ... sooooooooo I don't do it. Well, I do it, but I've never bought it, and in LA it's a social thing. Straight up, in LA people smoke. Not cigs, we're pretty kosher with our clean air (HAHAHAHA CLEAN AIR HILARIOUS), but they LOOVVEEE their pot! Seriously, we're known for it - and it's legal here if you have a card. Pretty much the only time I'll smoke is if I'm kicking it with friends during some sort of after hours, or if I'm about to bone. DUDE!!! Sex stoned = makes my life. Good god, I will fuck your dick right ooooooffffffffffff. Yeah. I gotta have sex stoned again soon. hahaha - omg stop talking Jen. I'm getting too horny and I have to finish writing this. </tangent>

We hit the road and I snapped these picturinos ...

Seriously AH-MAZING!!! These were taken on the 5 somewhere south of the SUPER SMELLY COWS!!!

OMG OMG OMG OMG THEY WERE SOOO BAD!!!

Look at Lindsay ...

 

Priceless ... and captures the moment perfectly.

SERIOUSLY!! You couldn't even breathe through your mouth without COMPLETELY wanting to barf.

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

Smellyyyy coooowwwwwwwwwsss!!!

K ... so that happened ... then we got up there after a bajillion hour of a drive. Literally ... BAJILLION. Actually, it wasn't that long, and Lindsay and I brainstormed the entire way, so it was pretty rad.

We were still a little while out from our meeting place with Lindsay's friend, and the weather started to turn pretty gnarly. Out of nowhere it started to get super super super foggy.

Now this part is absolutely no exaggeration ... we were going literally 10 mph, and it was the CURVIEST road ever, with only a handful of cars, and oh yeah - we were GOING UP A MOUNTAIN!!! This wasn't even just foggy though, this was very literally impassable. The only problem was we couldn't even see the road to pull over, and Lindsay remembered that all there was was a SUPER steep drop off from the cliff.

She goes, OMG I'm so glad you can't see anything right now ... you'd be freaking out - there are no guard rails up here - it's a straight drop down.

Instead of freaking out, I just turned up the Mumford and Sons we had been listening to for LITERALLY the entire car ride.

If we're gonna die, at least we'll be rockin out the entire way!!! 

We both stayed alarmingly calm as I guided her as best as I could, and she stayed suppperrrrr close to the Jeep Cherokee in front of her.

Dudes, I am from Connecticut. I learned how to drive in BLIZZARDSSSS and this chick is bat shit and drives up to Big Bear all the time ... this. was. bad. really bad. Had I been driving - I would have prolly cried. No joke. Super duper scary time.

We both made a conscious effort to turn our fear into laughter. We imagined the headlines if we did go over the cliff ... 2 girls die in over-turned car wreck ... they may or may not have been on their way to trim pot in an undisclosed location. OMG between my google searches and posts, we would have been had. Been HAADD I tell you!

Yeah, tangent ... sorry about that.

So, we get to our meeting place where we have to leave the car. See, to even get to the pot farm (if that is what we are calling it), you have to meet at a location and then get taken in an off road vehicle to an undisclosed mountain location.

Dudes, this shit was LEGIT!!! I WAS OFF GOOGLE MAPS!!!

The drive up there took a while, and kinda reminded me of those off road rides at Disney or Busch Gardens. We went through water, and SUUUCCHHHHHHHHH bumpy roads - I now know why seat belts were invented. I didn't know my body could flap around that lifeless before.

We finally make it up to the top of the mountain, and arrive at this little cabin like thing. It wasn't really like a cabin, it was just this super small one room house with two mattresses on the floor, a series of sleeping bags laying around, and a fire going in the make shift fireplace. It was SUPPERRRR rustic, but kinda cool at the same time. It made sense that a house like this was off the grid.

We set up our beds courtesy of the blankets from David and Goliath, and called it a night.

 

About 4 hours later something woke me up. Mind you, I've slept in my car in Venice, and slept on LITERALLY hundreds of couches and various beds all across the country for the last year ... nothing. nothing. nothing. wakes me up.

Except for an earthquake.

A pretty big one ... we were deep, deep, deep, deep, in the woods somewhere - and I felt the WOOORRLLLDDD shake three times. It was funny, I remember waking up and seeing a bunch of faces, but thinking unless I am already dead, I'm just gonna go back to sleep.

Then we all woke up to this ...

Pretty gnarly. Reception at this place was so bad though, I couldn't get a signal out, nor could I check anything online. Not gonna lie, that was weird.

Either way, everyone was fine, we all shared stories of how we all looked at each other and immediately went right back to sleep. Pretty fucking funny.

Then we started trimming! See, when you buy pot, it's broken down ... not in the full pot plant form like it grows in.

This is how it grows ...

This is how you buy it ...

For 36 hours, I served as that middle person. HAHAH!!

Dudes, they have someone come in and cut the plants and what not from the actual growing area ... but then they put it in black garbage bags and have trimmers come in and cut it up into sellable pieces.

We all sat around at our little stations inside this little barn (I use the word barn because it was a rectangular structure without any windows - but it was a pretty nice barn like place, don't let the word fool you!). There were about 15 of us total. Two managers/ over-see-ers, and the rest all trimmers. It was cool too, man, these peeps were all from around the world. A couple of peeps were in from Barcelona, one chica from Bali, a bunch from Mexico, and then you had two whiter than white cracker looking chicas from Los Angeles. HAHA!!

Lindsay is super social, so she started talking to everyone ... I put in headphones and just drifted away to the sound of The Secret on audio book. (UGH! SO GOOD!!!)

It was weird, it took me about an hour before I fully caught on to how to trim properly (you have to cut off the crows feet which are like the little V stem things, and make the stems as tight as possible), but after a while I felt like Mr. Miyagi with a bonsai. It was SOOOOOOOOOOO relaxing, and I literally started to slip into this zen like state.

Trim, cut, bag. Trim, cut, bag. ::insert motivational quote from The Secret - We are like magnets - like attract like. You become AND attract what you think::

Trim, cut, bag. Trim, cut, bag. ::insert motivational quote from The Secret - We don't need to complicate all the "reasons" behind our emotions. It's much simpler than that. Two categories .. good feelings, bad feelings::

Trim, cut, bag. Trim, cut, bag. ::insert motivational quote from The Secret - Happy feelings will attract more happy circumstances::

It was great! Well, minus all the hash that got all over my hands ...

That wasn't so great. You have to remove it with olive oil. Felt weird, but if you didn't it just absorbs into your skin and can give you SUPPPERRRR trippy dreams like I had last night!!! OMG! Something about Pete Cashmore, Ben Parr, and a donkey. There you go ... that's all you get.

UGHHHH Pete Cashmore.

STOP IT JEN!!! FOCUS!!!!

Anyway, I just got in the zone and managed to stay there throughout the day. OH! And it was so rad too, they fed us breakfast, lunch, and dinner ... they came around with joints if you wanted to smoke, and at 5pm they gave us all beer.

Can I move in here?!?!? Seriously?!?!?! Super nice people!!! When my ADD kicked in, Lindsay and I even got to go on this BEA-UTIFUL hike ...

I was SUPER nervous wearing these things in the woods, btw!! hahaha I didn't want to get shot or eaten ... but the duderino owned LITERALLY the entire mountain, so there were no hunters. YAYYYYYYYY for life!!!

Red Wolf and Night Owl Spirithoods! Click our heads for more info!

We were kosher, and got back to trimming.

It was super rad ... we went all day, and into the night. I lasted until about 10pm before my fingers were going to fall off. It was pretty amazing though - you could just do your own thing, and no matter what they paid by the pound. Some people got up and danced to the music that was playing, others went off and did yoga, while a few more just sat around and talked. I've never been in an environment like that - it was like adult camp where we were all stoned either directly or indirectly. DUDEESSS!!! You can't be in that room and not end up stoned. Between the poor ventilation, and just the management of the pot in your fingers I was high for literally the entire time.

It was just what I needed though. I have to admit, this was the first time very literally in my entire life that I have been away from technology. Even when I went to Mexico a few years back, the hotel had internet ... the only other times were when I was like 15 and 16 and a foreign exchange student in Europe. Then I don't think we had the internet ... but that was also 10 and 11 years ago.

This was a big deal for me to be able to unplug for that long.

Well ... I did manage to find signal in one TEENY TINY section ... where I got to post this!

I just love what I do, man. I just need to be able to figure out a way to integrate getting my hands SUPER dirty every once in a while. I need to do physical work unrelated to tech every now and again. It's good for the brain and good for the soul.

So there you go! That happened! Lindsay kept us from going over a cliff, I was deep deep deep in the woods during a super gnarly earthquake, smoked some ganja, slept on a floor, and channeled my inner Miyagi.

Oh and if you buy a super fancy pants purple-ie bag of weed in the near future, I may have cut that!!!

It's cool, don't worry - there was running water at the cabin so I totes washed after I went to the bathroom!

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH!! omg ... I need to go ... wait, not like go ... "go" but go as in leave and smoke my souvenir!!!!! YES!!!!

Peace love and lollipops, TNTML!!! Another epic adventure!!! xoxoxxoxo 

Special thanks to Effing Gear for the clothing that I wore for literally the entire trip. SERIOUSLY it was COLDDD!!! I would take a pic of me in the hoodie I was wearing, but it's super smelly and covered in pot ... but here's the hat that kept my face from getting sun burned on the car ride home. AH-MAZING! 

Click my nerdy noggin for more info on how you too can own this piece of AWESOME!! & HAHAHA! I think there is still hash under my finger nails!!

#winning

#NowPlaying: Gnarls Barkley - Crazy

If you are reading this ... I am currently in an undisclosed location somewhere in Northern California. I apparently do not have access to the internet up there, or cell reception - however ... enjoy this little nugget of awesome. It is on my iPod which I will be able to listen to for pretty much the entire time I am gone. YAYYYY!!!! =) =) =)

OMG OMG OMG This trip is one of the craziest things I have ever done!!!!

#love

RT: #Adventures in Adventuring: Bye Bye, LA!

T minus a few minutes til I leaavveeeee for NorCal. Dudes, I don't even know the name of the place we are going, and there is a 40% chance it is off the grid. (Read more here)

I'm very excited. This is totally last minute, and maybe only partially legal (I'm 99% certain this is one of those gray area things)... BUUUUTTTTT, we are going to have fun and that is all that matters. So, here's mine and Lindsay's gear for the adventure. Want to give some nerdy lovin to the sponsors that provided said es stuffo so we can have this very very very last minute adventure.

Special thanks to Spirithoods for the Night Owl, and Red Wolf.

Empowerment33 for the crystalline power pack!

Effing Gear for the hoodies, hats, and shirts.

Dudes, I am not even kidding when I say their shiznat is SOOOO SOFFFTTTTTT!!! I literally wear it all the time for a reason.

Thanks to David and Goliath for the blankets, and a very special thanks to Samsung for both the Droid Charge, and for the Swiss Army backpack.

#hastalapasta

Oh if I do end up with reception you can follow me on Twitter: @JenFriel

and check out posted photos on WhoSay: Whosay.com/talknerdytomelover

I don't think I'll be allowed to FourSquare. AHHHHH!! SO EXCITEEDDD!!!

#Adventures in Adventuring: Manic Montage

In my next life incarnation I want to come back as a photographer. I've actually loveddddddd it my entire life, but never really did anything with it. NOW though, thanks to Samsung hookin' a sistah up with a Droid Charge, I getz to play around with the 8MP madness on the telefono, and ommmmmgggggggggg it is making my life.

Looky looky what I took today ...

All shot on the Droid Charge with the FX app on Toy Cam filter. Totes itchin to be bitchin.

UGHHH!!! Love it long time.

Oh, and I took this one yesterday while I was waiting for the bus to Malibu ...

Tech is art. Art is life.

#love