#NerdsUnite: Nerdy Thoughts on Bravo's Start-Ups Silicon Valley

Helloooooo from SF nerderinos! 

I'm currently chilling at the Villa with Hermione and Ben Way which is the house at the center of tonight's premier episode of the brand spanking new Bravo series, Start-Ups Silicon Valley. 

How did all of this go down? 

As usual there's a story. Gather round ... 

So, I genuinely don't remember how Hermione and I initially connected, but she and I have been social media friends for at least a few years. (Everyone in tech knows each other - ESPECIALLY the marketing/ PR new media peeps. We're one big happy carpel tunnel ridden family.) 

Either way ... I totally have a crush on her brother. It's pretty redic actually, he's just so damn adorably dreamy. 

Look at that face!! Are you kidding me?!?!?! 

Massive crush and serious oversight in not knowing who he was until I started seeing ads for their new show. 

This past Thursday, I then tweeted Hermione asking if I could be her sister in law. ::cough cough shameless:: 

She of course said yes, and then Ben and I connected on Facebook and twitter. 

Come to the premier, she then tweeted. 

I thought about it ... and quickly realized, sure! If I can just figure out a place to crash I can figure out the rest. 

I then tweeted my friends over at @lyft asking for some credits in exchange for documenting my experience.

<tangent> I'm obsessed obsessed OBSESSED with using them, btw. Every.single.driver. is so freaking rad, and always has an amazing story to tell. I'm not quite sure if it's what they put in the job description, or people that are willing to be a driver in general - but holy hell Batman, those dudes are LEGIT rockstars. </tangent> 

Lyft then credited me with $50 and between that and my Greyhound bus ticket I was locked and loaded ready to go. 

The ride up to SF was a bit shaky. Between the bus being PACKED and me ending up directly next to the bathroom and sitting directly in front of a rapper that for SIX hours would not shut up - I was on sensory OVERLOAD. 

Smells like shit, sounds like shit. Good times, Friel! This was a GREAT idea!! 

Either way, half way up I get a text from Ben letting me know that they are leaving for the premier party promptly at 6:15. 

(Bravo was throwing a private, super fancy pants watching party for friends and cast members.) 

You have to be here by 6:15 Ben pressed. 

My bus was scheduled to arrive somewhere between 5:45 and 6 and after a quick google map search I realized making it by 6:15 was just not going to happen. 

Shit, shit, shit. 

My brain then went into hyper overdrive as I wished, once again, that I just had a jet pack. 

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH EASIER MY LIFE WOULD BE WITH A JET PACK!?!?! COME ON!!?!?! 

The driver then came on the intercom and announced that we were 30 minutes outside of San Jose. 

San Jose ... San Jose ... who do I know in San Jose, I thought? Maybe if I could just get a ride from San Jose into the city it would streamline the process and be faster so I could make it before my 6:15 deadline. 

I then hit up my buddy @moids and BEGGED for a ride. 

(He and I met for the first time when I was speaking at the WITI conference back in June.) 

Omid being the AH-MAZING human being that he is, completely agreed and 30 minutes later he met me at the San Jose greyhound station. 

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!! I shouted giving him the biggest hug upon greeting. 

If I don't make it by 6:15 they're going to leave. I need to see Ben, I pressed. 

He smiled. 

Not a problem!! 

We then talked about life, love, and all things not TNTML related. 

Omid is a true friend, he constantly reminds me to be less of a humanoid and more of a human. 

Who is the 27 year old from Connecticut, he asked in the car?

Can I speak to her and not the CEO. 

I started laughing. 

Thank you for the reminder, I said. 

He then dropped me off at the house Ben gave me the address for. 

I walk in ... and it's massive. 

You guys live ... here? I asked staring at the Villa. 

They laugh. 

Great to meet you finally, I say giving Hermione a big hug. 

Ben then walked out. 

Swoon. He's so freaking yummy. 

I was then introduced and come to find out a few of the people in the house read TNTML. 

Fuck yeah, I said doling out high fives. Thanks so much for reading!! 

Everyone then started taking pictures, as Ben handed me a glass of champagne. 

I've been here all of 5 minutes and I not only feel completely at ease with these people but they just welcomed me into their world with open arms and a glass of champagne. No questions asked - nothing. These are good people, I thought. Really really good people. 

We then got in the limos and headed over to the premier party. 

Within seconds of walking in the door I ran into a bunch of social media friends. 

More hugs, more high fives. I love this town, I thought!!! 

Ben and all my new friends had to stay on the red carpet giving interviews, so I just mingled and worked the room as per my usual. 

So many amazing conversations, and so many articulate people. To discuss the future of new media and digital advertising so intensely and philosophically was incredible. 

After a few glasses of wine, Randi Zuckerberg (the show's EP and Mark's sister) then came out and introduced everyone. 

The show then began. 

Now, obvi, my personal interest in these people aside I was REALLY excited to see how Bravo was going to edit everything together. Per the trailer you could tell that they were more focused on their extra cirricular activities but I was genuinely curious to see how it was going to be presented.

The result? 

I cringed. 

I found Dwight, Kim, Ben, and Hermione to be presented very well and interesting in general - but Sarah Austin? Wow. Where to begin. 

Sarah and I did a TV show together last year, and I actually see her face every day as I have the poster for it on the wall in my bedroom. 

She and I had met at a dinner for the show, and I have seen her a bunch of times at various events - but the words that came out of her mouth made me want to absolutely vomit. 

Dude, she sold her soul to the devil. 

As she was getting her hair and makeup done for a party she proclaimed that it takes her 3-4 hours to get ready. 

BITCH PLEASE!!!!! You are beautiful, yes, but 3-4 fucking hours?!?!?!?!!? I sat on a bus for 8 hours next to a shitter, ran a comb through my hair, did my make up in less than 10 minutes in a greyhound bus station and STILL rocked the shit out of that party. 

She then continued on explaining how she gets 10K per tweet. 

BITCH, PLEASE!!!!!!! To your followers? Are you fucking kidding me?!! You don't even tweet every day!!! 

I've received as much as four figures for a sponsored tweet but to get the kind of cash she is talking about, you have to be a bigger deal. She grossly, grossly, grossly exaggerated. 

I couldn't stop cringing. Everything that came out of her mouth made me want to slap her fucking face. 

What happened to you, Sarah? Obvi we weren't good enough friends to begin with so I don't know maybe you've always been this way ... but wow. bad bad bad. 

It's embarassing, and I'm embarassed that she calls herself a lifecaster. Do you even know what the fuck one is?!?! How can you call yourself a "lifecaster" when you don't even update your site every day. 

COME ON SARAH!!! I want to root for you girl!!!!!!!! We need to be able to unite not tear each other apart like this. 

So wrong. So. So. Wrong. 

All in all, I think the show is diluted enough for middle america. I can't imagine any of my nerdy friends watching it based on the fact that all of the establishing shots of the characters included them being half naked. Intellects need to be teased, come on Bravo!! Wait til AT LEAST the second episode for that kinda thing. 

Being a reality TV junkie in general, I'll definitely watch and I suggest you guys should too just to formulate your own opinion. 

I can say on an extremely personal level, Ben and Hermione are UNBELIEVABLY welcoming and their group of friends are so spectacular. I am incredibly humbled they have welcomed me into their world. I give them all an ENORMOUS amount of credit as well for being brave enough to go on a show like this and be fed to the lions. They are handling themselves expertly in the press which only speaks to their character. 

Now ... I gotta jet to a few more meetings but I'll be at the premier tonight. I just hope I don't bump into Sarah. That would be awwwkkkwwwwaarrrrrddd. 

Team Hermione, FTW!!! 

Rock on nerds and thanks again for all the love San Francisco!!!! 

#xoxo

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#TrueStory: Tomorrow I have a date that I may or may not need a passport for

I'm clearly a magnet for crazy. Like energy attracts so this is all making sense now. 

Anywho, had an interesting last 24 hours that I had to share. 

Obviously this is the song that goes with the post ... 

So last night, instead of heading to my buddy's party I opted to go to the Chateau Marmont. I know the dude at the door so I had an in. There was apparently some super fancy pant party and he said it was going to be pretty solid. 

We (I was with my buddy Amanda) got there pretty early and he was right - the place was packed. 

We moseyed on over to the bar getting our first drink and within SECONDS dudes started hitting on us. It was kinda gnarly actually. I've never tried so little at a bar and gotten so much attention.

One of the first dudes to come up was dressed as a swimmer and was EXXXTTTRRREEMMMEELLLYYY intense. 

Who are you? He kept asking. I need to know you! (Sound familiar? Cough cough Antonio) 

I then told him what I did and my life's elevator pitch. (Crashed the grammys, danced on stage with Prince, bartered social media to live for a year getting to 12 states with just $10 to my name and went out on over 103 dates in 9 months.) 

He then told me a little bit about what he did (used to be an actor, now is a director and has a start up).

That's amazing, I replied back. 

Look at you!! He kept pressing. Those eyes and that smile. 

Thank you, I kept saying not knowing how much further he was going to take all of this.

Pro Tip: Easy on the compliments when you first meet a girl, guys. It's extremely extremely sweet, but can get a little overwhelming as a female. 

Then, Amanda and I decided to putz around a bit. 

We met some new dudes, got new drinks ... the usual. 

I then started talking to another guy and Amanda walked back to the first dude. 

A few minutes later I went looking for her. 

She grabs me as the first dude went to use the restroom.

He won't stop talking about you, she said. What did you do to this guy? 

I started laughing. I DON'T KNOW!! He's super super intense. I feel like either my face is going to get chewed off bath salt style or he's going to start humping me. There is going to be no middle ground!!! 

I need to see you again, he pressed by the end of the night. 

Okay, I said. Here's my number. 

I then gave him my real phone number. 

Great. This is great. 

He then continued getting super intense and all up in my grill. 

AHHHH, I thought. Bathroom. Escape escape!! 

I then snuck off and started talking to a few more guys. 

As we were getting ready to leave, he found me again. 

I need to see you again, he repeated.

Dude, I gave you my number, I said. This is ABSOLUTELY out of my control at this point. The rest is up to you. 

I'm going to call you, he said. 

Great! I'm looking forward to it, I said in frustration - what more can I do in this moment? 

We then hugged and parted ways for the evening. 

Then, this morning, I woke up to a phone call from a number not in my phone. 

Without thinking I just answered it. 

Hello, I said. 

It's MEEEEEE, he replied enthusiastically. 

Hello, I said immediately knowing who it was. 

What are you doing, he replied? 

I'm about to go get coffee, I said. 

Where? he replied. 

Uhhhh, at Starbucks, I said. 

Which one? 

Uhhhhhh, the one on Santa Monica. 

I live right by that one, he said.  I'll meet you there in 15. 

He then hung up the phone.

This guy is fucking nuts, I thought and he now just invited himself to have coffee with me. 

I then put on a sweatshirt, powder, and ran a comb through my hair. 

A coffee date before my shower wasn't exactly what I was looking for, but smelling I could get a story out of this I decided to run with it. 

I then went to the Starbucks, ordered my coffee, and moments later he arrived.

I wanted to pay for your coffee!!! He said excited.

Wow, look at you, he said. 

It's lovely to see you again, I replied.

He then ordered his tea and we sat down outside. 

So tell me more about what you do, I said trying to remember everything from the previous evening. 

Well, I'm an entrepreneur. Used to be an actor. 

Anything I've seen, I asked?

Yes, he said. 

Okay ... like .... 

I don't want to talk about it, he said. 

Were you in porn, I asked? 

No, he said. 

Noted. Moving on. 

We then talked for about a half hour about life and love. This guy is a BUNNDDLLLEEE of energy and has these MASSIVE blue eyes that are like saucers. 

This is so intense, I thought. 

I want to take you out on a date, he said. 

Okay, I replied. I'm going to San Francisco sunday (more on that in a second) but I can kick it tomorrow night. 

Great! He said super excited. 

Alrite, well text me, I said standing up. Looking forward to it. 

He then gets a few inches away from my face and says, tell all the other guys you are dating that a REAL MAN is chasing you now. 

I immediately start laughing. 

Did that really just come out of your mouth? I thought. 

That's a good one, I said. Thank you. 

I then walked away. 

An hour later I get this text message ... 

You know the saying "game recognizes game?" Well this is crazy recognizing crazy. I am fucking nuts. I am the FIRST one to admit it ... but this guy??? FUUUCCCKKKKK he's bat shit. 

And, now I have a date with him tomorrow. 

I just hope I don't end up in jail in a third world country ... my virginal bum hole might not be able to handle it. 

Oh oh ... San Francisco ... lemme get back to that super fast. 

So, I have the BIIIGGGGEEESSSTTT crush on Ben Way. He popped on my radar screen because he's in the new Bravo show Start Up: Silicon Valley.

I'm actually genuinely surprised I haven't bumped into him before since we both run in the same circles and I'm social media buds with his sister. Either way, I asked him out and he's totally game and even invited me to the premier party for them on Monday. Now, thanks to my buddies over at Lyft who offered their transportation services again, I am en route up there and I'll be in SF Sunday night til Tuesday morning for my date with Ben. 

How epic is that? LOOK AT THOSE DREAMY EYES!!!! 

This is going to be So. Much. Fun. 

#thatisall