#NerdsUnite: Around the world with @HeatherReusz (One Year Later)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Heather. She's a nerd who is currently living in Japan by way of Chicago. Yep, talk about a culture shock. She's here today to talk about her life, love (which she is currently balancing long distance) and all things nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT HEATHER!!!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @HeatherReusz

As all of you are probably aware, this Sunday marked the one year anniversary of the devastating earthquake and tsunami that struck the Tohoku region.

I got a chance to go to Sendai to visit my friend last weekend and while there saw one of the disaster zones. This was not a part of our plans but after our day of fun with my friend and her Japanese friend, Kazuto, he asked us what we wanted to do next as he was our chauffeur and guide. We didn't know. He hesitated for a moment and told us that he would like us to see one of the hardest hit areas in Sendai-shi from the tsunami. We both agreed. Now, much of the debris form the houses has been cleared away so the landscape is pretty much just flat ground but those few standing houses are a large testament to some of the damage done. Our friend pointed out details like the trees and the old gas station. We started driving closer to the coast and passed by a school. My friend and I both gasped as there were piles of debris in the school yard. I immediately thought it was children's school things still left unclaimed. Catching on to this, he slowed down and showed us that they were actually cars and motorcycles that had been tossed into the school or the surrounding area. There is nowhere to properly dispose of these things so they just sit in the school yard.

We pulled up to the shore to a memorial built for the people who died or are still missing in this area. I followed my friend and we said a prayer to pay our respects. Now, something to understand about this experience. We were with our Japanese friend who lived in Sendai at the time. Japanese people generally do not outwardly display too much emotion in public. I knew that I would be upset by this trip so I kind of removed myself from it a bit. It was almost like I wasn't in my mind and wasn't processing what I was absorbing. I didn't want to get too upset or "create a scene" for Kazuto who would not know how to handle that kind of response. True to form he himself was very removed and almost stoic the whole time.

When we first got up to the shrine, though, I almost lost it. In Japan, people will leave offerings for the dead: their favorite drink or food generally. Lying at the foot of the shrine were packs of special mochi, rice cakes, given to little girls for Girls Day. I knew that meant that these sweet treats were meant for young girls about ages 3-8 and it saddened me so much to see those offerings for some little girls who never made it home that day.

After we had some time to compose ourselves, we continued walking through the area just surveying what was left which wasn't much. All you could see for miles was small raises in the ground where the foundations of houses are located.

Even processing it now, it feels like a dream that I was actually there. It made me want to help with the reconstruction so badly. I was so relieved that I'm going to do some volunteer work in the area soon. Otherwise, I think I may have walked away from this with a feeling of helplessness and distress. I have really come to love this country and to see this kind of destruction and suffering was painful. It gave me so much admiration though for the people of Tohoku who are just picking up the pieces and moving forward. They are all unsung heroes. I can't even imagine the strength that takes. There is a lot of work to be done here but I know that the people will keep moving forward as best as they can. Please continue to hope, pray, and give for Japan.

Here's some additional video and photos from my visit to the disaster zone.

On the actual day of the anniversary, I made a trek out to Kamakura to go to Kencho-ji, one of the most sacred Zen Buddhist temples in Japan and the most sacred in Kamakura. I had seen a flyer for an interfaith prayer service to be held at the temple at the exact time of the earthquake 2:46 PM. I got there at 2:20 and there was a large line to get in.

I easily made it in in 5 minutes though since they were not charging the entrance fee as they normally do. I followed the mass of people and got there just in time to see the procession. It started with the Shinto priests, then came the Christians, and then the Buddhist monks.

After the procession, one of the sacred bells was rung and a moment of silence was observed at the exact moment of the earthquake and another at the impact of the tsunami. Then the service started. Each religion had its chance to offer up a prayer. It was so beautiful to see everyone together praying for one cause. It felt wonderful to be so connected in that moment. Even though the service was two hours long, everyone remained prayerful and respectful while all religious figures were speaking. One of the things that struck me though was that the Christian ministers were the only one that actively involved the crowed with prayers and songs. Although it was super interesting to hear some Buddhist chants by the monks while we all prayed and meditated.

This was the most emotional I have ever seen or felt Japanese people before. Older women shielded their faces as they wept. Men stood silently as they allowed one or two tears to slip out. Younger women, like myself, took out hand towels and dabbed at our eyes when we just couldn't hold it in any longer. Yet, there was no wailing or hugging just this silent display of grief and pain for the people in their country who have suffered so much. Words cannot describe how beautiful and emotional this service was for all involved. Even if I didn't understand the prayers, I felt like a part of the spiritual whole and it was amazing.

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Heather on Twitter!

#NerdsUnite: Around the world with @HeatherReusz

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Heather. She's a nerd who is currently living in Japan by way of Chicago. Yep, talk about a culture shock. She's here today to talk about her life, love (which she is currently balancing long distance) and all things nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT HEATHER!!!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @HeatherReusz

When we last left off, I was just finishing up my first year of teaching. It was not the most positive experience. The second year just got worse. I was hit with a couple of personal blows as well as a professional one. One personal setback was that my friend and I had to move. We were living in her dad’s old place rent free and he wanted to finally sell the place after having not lived there for 3 years. He only gave us about one month notice to pack up and leave so he could start showing the place. I had to move back in with my parents who lived almost an hour away from my school. I stayed there for a month constantly looking for a new place. I lived out of boxes as my sister had rearranged the old room we used to share so none of my things could fit. It was a stressful couple of months. I just remember feeling so pressed to find a new place and unwelcome in what used to be my home. I finally did find a great new place with a perfect location and fantastic rent. Still, it created an interesting dynamic for a couple of months. The other personal blow I thought I was prepared for. My boyfriend is an absolutely amazing artist. He wanted to follow his passion and study for a semester in Florence, Italy. I supported this one hundred percent and thought it was an amazing opportunity. I hadn’t realized how much over the past couple of years he had become my rock. I felt so lost without him. It was almost as though I had lost my center. I hated myself for it. I never wanted to be that girl who was so hopelessly in love that she was lost without her man. Yet there I was writing him lengthy Facebook messages and e-mails every day. I started to convince myself that I was acting this way because he was “the one”, the person I’m supposed to be with for the rest of my life. Now, something to note, I don’t actually believe in this. I’ve never adhered to the belief that there is only one perfect person who could complete you. Almost every guy I have had a serious relationship with I could have imagined marrying. Basically, I started getting super clingy and would just sob over Skype to him about how much I wanted him to come back so we could start planning a future together. Perhaps understandably, he started to get a little freaked out by this. We had never talked about anything like this before and while he was out of the country was not the best time to start discussing it. He started to push me away but that made me just want to cling and hang on tighter. He started to ignore my desperate messages and roll his eyes at my talk of getting married as soon as he graduated. He has also admitted that he was acting a bit like a douche bag during this time in our relationship. I knew the way we were acting was out of character. I just felt so hopeless and out of synch with everything and he was the one person I could depend on to listen and be there for me. And here I was, watching myself messing it all up. It was temporary insanity, I swear. Besides having the anxiety from moving and my relationship, work was becoming a hostile environment. I thought things would be easier for me throughout the second year but everything was much more stressful. About three months into the school year, he targeted me for some classic workplace bullying by someone else in the building. He would come into my room for maybe thirty seconds and then immediately shoot me an e-mail nit picking everything that I was doing and I do mean everything. I also distinctly remember him coming in and ripping me a part the day after my great aunt had died. Yes, he was right; my teaching was not the best that day. I was a little distracted and upset. Even with this explained, he made some kind of comment about how my personal life should never interfere with work anyway. He labeled me as a struggling and ineffective teacher. I know I’m not the best teacher in the business but I felt that was a bit harsh. I started to ask other colleagues to come in and observe to see if they saw the same things and to help give me suggestions. Almost all of them saw nothing that would warrant me being labeled as an ineffective teacher. Some of my friends in the art department even went so far as to tell me that they thought I was a great teacher who took the time to connect with and teach every student. I took all their suggestions all the time reporting back to this person to prove that I was trying to make progress. Nothing was quite good enough though. I started to feel hopeless. Everything seemed to be broken. I just wasn’t happy anymore. I knew I needed a career change to feel like my cheery self again. Problem was the practical side of me could not let this job go. I had a full time job and my own place; things which any of my college friend would kill for. I had it all but it all felt wrong and enslaving. This wasn’t the life I wanted. This wasn’t the person I wanted to be. Something my boyfriend said slapped me out of my funk. One day, while he was rolling his eyes as I was sobbing about how trapped and stressed I felt, he just sighed out “You’re 23 years old, Heather. Why can’t you just take control of your life and do what you want?” I paused. He’s right, I thought. Why was I doing this to myself? I needed to take control. But I had no idea where to even start that. I just wanted a break away from everything. I sat and tried to think of something I had always wanted to do, an adventure I dreamed of. The first thing that popped into my head was teaching in a foreign country, especially Japan. I did a quick google search and immediately found at least ten companies that specialized in teaching English in Japan. I noticed the first company had an interview in Chicago in three weeks. I applied that not determined to do something to change the way my life was going. When I told my family and friends that I had applied, they were all super supportive and wished me the best of luck. I went to the interview, was offered a position, and here I am today! I can definitely say it was an amazing life decision. I love my life here! I finally feel like myself after two years of being lost and trapped. It is the best feeling in the world.

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Heather on Twitter!

#NerdsUnite: Around the world with @HeatherReusz

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Heather. She's a nerd who is currently living in Japan by way of Chicago. Yep, talk about a culture shock. She's here today to talk about her life, love (which she is currently balancing long distance) and all things nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT HEATHER!!!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @HeatherReusz

I wanted to go into a little bit more depth about how I came to work and live in Japan. I know you all already know that I’m an anime nerd and very into the culture but I actually applied for this job on a whim in a time in my life where I was looking to start over.  But, I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s start at the beginning: 3 years ago.

Three years ago, I thought that my life was perfect. I was about to graduate from college with a job already waiting for me. I had a wonderful boyfriend who I had been seeing for a year. I even had a house only 20 mins from my job with one of my best friends. I thought I had everything a girl could ever want all set up for me. But nothing quite felt right or worked how I thought it should.

The number one thing that I was most unhappy with was my job. I got a degree in education. I had always liked working with kids so it seemed like a natural choice for me. At least, that was what I had convinced myself to think. My first passion in life is theater and singing. No matter where life takes me, I can guarantee I will always find a way to be in some kind of community theater show or local choir. If I were being honest with myself, it also was something that I would have seriously studied in college. But my practical side won out. I wondered what I would do with a theater degree and how I could even make a living. I had also been beat down so much about my weight and image from my high school theater program that I had no confidence in my abilities. I thought education would be a fine plan for me and I grabbed a minor in theater in case I ever changed my mind. It didn’t take me too long to realize, even in college, that teaching was not going to be easy for me. I was a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. That just motivated me even more though. I thought I was the kind of teacher schools needed. Someone who is creative, outspoken, intuitive, and good with technology. I had confidence that it was just the swift judgment of my professors or some of the other ladies in my classes that made me doubt my career choice. Things will be better in the real world, I told myself. Boy was I wrong.

Like all people, I was super excited when I got my job. Who wouldn’t be pumped to have a job waiting for you when you graduated? I also thought I had found the perfect job for me. I was going to teach 8^th grade public speaking and help out with the plays on the side. I was going to teach something creative, academic, and valuable. What more could I ask for?! I couldn’t wait to start. It was evident right from the start that I didn’t jive all that well with some of my co-workers. We didn’t get in fights or anything that intense. I just got the vibe that I was not liked or accepted by some of my co-workers. They would constantly shoot down my ideas as far-fetched or roll their eyes when I tried to pitch a cross-curricular speech project. I started to just keep my ideas to myself and teach the way I wanted to teach. It was pretty tough to not feel like I had the best support system at work especially as I tried to wade through my first year teaching.

I knew this was a tough job but, man, I was not prepared for the intensity that is teaching in real life especially at the middle school level. Seriously, teaching is HARD particularly teaching in America. There are so many ridiculous hoops that you have to jump through, so many tests and test scores you have to keep up with, so much administrative bull to deal with, and don’t even get me started on some of the parents…Of course there were parts of it I loved too. I loved my kids. I connected with so many of those artsy nerdy outcasts who felt like they had no one to relate to. It was amazing. I remembered being like that in middle school and was so happy to be a role model and confidant to them. I also adored working with the theater program. I even had some awesome projects and activities that the kids loved and learned from. These little beacons kept me going through my first year but I still felt like something wasn’t quite right. I dreaded going to work and could feel myself getting more depressed. I just felt stuck and unhappy but didn’t know what to do to fix it.

Next time, I get kicked out of the house, my boyfriend moves across the world, and I lose faith in my competency as a teacher. Stay tuned.

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Heather on Twitter!

#NerdsUnite: Around the world with @HeatherReusz

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Heather. She's a nerd who is currently living in Japan by way of Chicago. Yep, talk about a culture shock. She's here today to talk about her life, love (which she is currently balancing long distance) and all things nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT HEATHER!!!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @HeatherReusz

I had an adventure this past weekend away from the city! I went to visit my friend out in Nagano. The name may sound familiar to some of you as they hosted the 1998 winter Olympics. I was excited to be up in the mountains. I was even a bit happy to see snow. Don’t get me wrong, coming from the Midwest, I was happy to have a winter that didn’t involve massive amounts of snow and below freezing temperatures but I did start to miss the snow a little…

Anyway, the day started with three hours of travel into the mountains. I got to take a shinkansen to get there. The shinkansen are the Japanese bullet trains. The train I was on was going roughly 150 mph. They are super aerodynamic and the fastest trains in the world. The one that I was on was considered a slow speed shinkansen. I can’t imagine how fast the high speed ones go. The train itself was super nice! It was roomy and comfortable. Overall, a very enjoyable way to travel. Better than a plane if you ask me. Luckily, I had just downloaded some games into my I-pod so the time passed pretty quickly.

A soon as I arrived at the station, I was greeted by a small festival. My friend had no idea that it was happening.  We had some great street vendor food for lunch. Japanese food is AMZING but if you can get it freshly made, hot off the grill, it is the BEST! We also enjoyed some traditional Japanese performances of taiko drums and enka music. After we slurped up our udon noodles and grilled chicken, we headed off to see Matsumoto castle. The castle was stunning as was the view from the top. But the best thing that happened at the castle was a photo opportunity. There were two men dressed in full samurai armor taking pictures with people in front of the castle. My friend and I jumped at the opportunity. After all, who doesn’t want to be photographed with samurai?! We started to pose and then about ten Japanese people around us whipped out their cameras and started snapping pictures of us. We took about 5 shots in all before everyone was satisfied including one where we let out a warriors cry. This isn’t the first time I’ve had this happen. Sometimes when I take pictures at major tourist attractions, natives will snap pictures of me especially if I am with friends.  It’s just something that happens when you are a rarity in society. Japan still consists of about 90% natives with only a small amount of the remaining 10% actually being Caucasian. I’ll get around to talking about that later though. Let’s just say it makes for an interesting dynamic.

After the castle, we headed back to Nagano city for a fun night out. The main item on the agenda was karaoke. We met up with some more people and headed out. Karaoke here in Japan is awesome! You get to have your own room so it is just you and your pals singing your hearts out. The best part though is that you can get all you can drink. That’s two hours of singing and drinking. Sounds like a dream come true. We stayed at the karaoke place until 1 AM but weren’t quite tired yet so we grabbed some road beers at the convenience store, which are everywhere, and just kind of walked around Nagano a bit. It is safe and legal to do both of these things. Still not exactly ready for bed, we went back to a friend’s apartment and played video games until 3:30 AM. Fun night in my book!

The next day, we took a bus up into the mountains to see some monkeys! Nagano is known for some of its onsens, hot spring baths. One of these onsens was taken over by monkeys that are native to the mountains. They have only ever taken over this one small pool and are quite indifferent to the people that come to gawk at them. They were even walking in between us and splashed some people watching. They are totally fine as long as you don’t touch them or look them in the eye for too long. I was just blown away by how close you could get to them and how much they basically just ignored all of us who were taking pictures of them. They were adorable. We then headed back into town for some cheap Italian food and a bottle of wine before I had to get back on the shinkansen. I really enjoyed being able to get out of the Tokyo region and seeing some friends. Weekend well spent.

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Heather on Twitter!

#NerdsUnite: Around the world with @HeatherReusz

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Heather. She's a nerd who is currently living in Japan by way of Chicago. Yep, talk about a culture shock. She's here today to talk about her life, love (which she is currently balancing long distance) and all things nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT HEATHER!!!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @HeatherReusz

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! Being away from America and my boyfriend, I must admit that I totally forgot today was Valentine’s Day. I’m also 15 hours ahead of American time, central time zone at least, so I’m often on a different day than you all are. That means I didn’t get the onslaught of Facebook and Twitter well wishes until about midnight on Valentine’s night for me. I was dutifully reminded though by one of my students this morning that it was Valentine’s Day. I teach every age range from 6 months old to high school. This little boy is 5 years old. He strutted into the school this morning with his mom and as soon as he opened the door, he just shouted “Happy Valentine’s Day!” to me. Beaming with pride, he ran to class and I’m pretty sure he told me “Happy Valentine’s Day” about seven times in the 45 minutes that I had class with him. It was absolutely precious and made my day. There is nothing quite like the love a child to really make you feel what real love is.

To clarify, Valentine’s Day is celebrated here in Japan. The department stores and grocery stores were selling all kinds of wonderful looking gourmet chocolates in all sorts of flavors including some really unique Japanese ones like green tea and red bean paste which are both delicious. However, most people in Japan hand make their chocolate. By hand make I mean they pretty much just melt some chocolate, put it in molds, and decorate it but that’s still more impressive that what most people I know do in America. Most stores were only selling these molds, chocolates, and assorted gift bags. No cards are sold since it is expected that you deliver the gifts straight to your Valentine. In Japan, the roles are a bit reversed on Valentine’s Day as well. The guys are the ones who receive all the presents for Valentine’s here. Ladies spend hours making these chocolates and cakes to give to their boyfriends or crushes. The funny thing is that I would have never guessed that if no one told me. Everything is so pink and frilly things we normally would not expect guys to like. But they are flattered to receive something like this. In fact, the frillier and cuter it is the bigger the honor of receiving it since it shows that the girl clearly put a ton of effort into making the sweets. The ladies get their own special day as well though. A month after Valentine’s Day, March 14^th, Japanese folks celebrate White Day. On White Day, guys shower their ladies with expensive gifts or buy a small gift for their crush to show them their appreciation for the chocolate and sweets given to them on Valentine’s Day. I think it’s kind of a cute system and tradition.

I pretty much didn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day this year. I did get a couple of homemade chocolates from my older junior high and high school students which were delicious! I also was greeted by a package from my boyfriend this morning which was a special little touch to the day. He sent me some epically nerdy and sweet gifts. Nerd love is the best kind of love after all. It was hard to be away from him today. I hate to sound like I am whining but its days like this where maintaining a long distance relationship just sucks. This is the first time in three years that I have not had him by my side. While I know it’s just a commercialized holiday, Valentine’s Day is still a blast to celebrate. You get to pause and reflect on your relationship. We enjoy each other’s company and revel in what brought us together and what makes us grow in love. I know that sounds corny and I’m not normally a really romantic person but Valentine’s Day tends to bring that out in me. We did get a chance to Skype today to open gifts which was great but it’s totally not the same. It almost makes me want to see him that much more.  I wish that I could even just be over at his place cuddling on the coach and exchanging gifts but that won’t happen for another 86 days. Sometimes I wonder why I even did this to myself…On a more positive note; he also used this day as an opportunity to let me know that he has officially booked a flight in May to come see me! Best. Present. Ever! Yay!

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Heather on Twitter!