#NerdsUnite: @ItsMeJoolie 's big dating adventure!!!

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Julie. You may already know her as Confessions of an Unwed Bride, but she has finally decided to begin to venture out into the dating world and is asking for your help and support as she goes through step by step of this life altering decision. Dudes, this is a BIG deal! She's never dated before ... like ever!! Well, I'll let her tell you more ... HIT IT JULIE! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Julie Wilson

First things first: Happy Dance Time! I completed the challenge! Woot woot! Go me! Go me!

To get the whole story read up on Jen's challenge, my fears about dating,  Date #1 and Date #2.

Date #3

Before I even went on Date #2 I was talking to this guy on OKCupid and he gave me his number in the thread. I asked Jen if this meant I should continue talking to him in the thread or if I needed to text him. "Text him!" Jen said. Okay, okay, being aggressive here I guess, need that third date. So I do and we talk. It drops off and I don't hear from him for a bit. He randomly texts me while I'm getting ready for Date #2 and then again, nothing.

After date #2 a bit of anxiety kicked in. I was worried that I wouldn't actually get 3 dates in the alloted time. On Halloween, with  one week to spare, I decided it was time turn it up. This dude goes skydiving as a hobby and I really genuinely wanted to talk to him. I texted this guy and asked him if he wanted to meet up for drinks:

Way to leave a girl hanging dude! Is this what I get for being forward and being the one to ask him out? Not sad or anything but kinda confused by that. Why did he say yes? And then actually pick a day and add a smiley face? Weird. Oh well, on to the next!

Luckily, the same day I realized I had been blown off by the other guy, another OKC guy asked to meet up. I got free concert tickets for The Roxy on Friday and figured that could be a fun date. We met outside of The Roxy an hour before the show was supossed to start. Every time I meet someone from OKC I am always so pleasantly surpsied when I actually recognize them in person.

I go in for the Confident Hug and then I suggest that we go next door to the Rainbow Room. I ask him if he knows who Lemmy from Motörhead is (you better fucking know dude I think). He says he does and I say, "He's always freakin here, but I think it's kinda late for him, he's a day drinker."

Lemmy is no where in sight. But this insane Elvira looking old lady is working behind the bar. You can tell this bar has been around for a long time. This lady has probably worked there since day 1. He orders the same beer as me and we stay here for an hour and 15 minutes talking. There are a few awkward pauses, which I didn't have on date 1 or 2, but still going okay.

We head over to The Roxy and like good little hipsters, order some PBR. The first band is on and they suck. We start making fun of them, which is cool. Second band is much better than the first band. At some point, either when the second or third band is playing, I realize that I like this guy and then soon after I realize that I have had too much to drink.

I get a water. When the fourth band comes out and the lead singer has on silly eyeliner, I can't take it anymore. I have left my goth days when I was the one in silly eyeliner behind. The best part about free concert tickets is that if it sucks, you just leave and you don't have to worry about wasted money. I say let's get outta here and we leave. We head down the street to another bar. There are some more awkward pauses, the music is super loud, it's after midnight and I'm exhausted. He walks me back to my car. Confident hug!! Confident hug!! Thank you and goodnight!

I sit in my car and as I watch him walk away I start laughing. I'm sure that I actually liked this guy more than he liked me, unlike on Date #1 and #2 where I can safely say they were both more into me than I was into them. I laugh and think, "This is what dating is all about! Of course the one I like wouldn't like me as much."

I was wrong. I got the standard "I had a great time" text at 4:00pm the next day. Followed by some more texts, followed by a phone call on Sunday. What the hell ever happened to playing it cool dudes? Not one of these three guys did. I'm super emotionally unavailable so I scare easily and I understand that but, geez, give me a day to breath. I called him back a few hours later. He wanted to see me before I head down to Fort Lauderdale for a long weekend. I told him I was busy, which I am. I have another date tonight!! Haha. I'm going for extra credit y'all! But I would certainly hang out with this guy again.

I am really happy that I went through with this. Jen actually first put up the challenge 2 weeks before October 7th and I freaked out and she took it down. I had to commit to overcoming my fear first. I was beyond scared in the hours leading up to Date #1. By Date #3 I felt like a pro. It was a big help in moving on and getting some fun dating experience under my belt.

Thanks for all of the love and support!

#juliesdatingadventure

 Click here to follow Julie on Twitter

#NerdsUnite: @ItsMeJoolie 's big dating adventure!!!

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Julie. You may already know her as Confessions of an Unwed Bride, but she has finally decided to begin to venture out into the dating world and is asking for your help and support as she goes through step by step of this life altering decision. Dudes, this is a BIG deal! She's never dated before ... like ever!! Well, I'll let her tell you more ... HIT IT JULIE! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Julie Wilson

Date #2

Me getting ready for Date #2I was worried there for a week. After I came down from the high of going on my first date in 8 years I realized I didn't have anyone lined up for date #2. There were some emails coming in, but none that I really wanted to follow up on. I knew it was again time to step outside of my comfort zone and try harder. This equals not just sitting back and waiting for the emails to roll in but actually taking the time to look at people's profiles and add people to my favorites. I still haven't initiated a conversation on there (girls have it so easy with online dating). It paid off; I got date #2 because we "chose" each other.

I was hoping that I would have some more music, TV and movies in common with this dude than date #1, who was really nice and I had a good time with on our date, but I kept waiting for him to be in to any of the things I am into. From this guy's profile, I was hopeful that this would be the case.

Earlier in the week, we had talked about meeting up on Thursday but he wasn't sure if he would be able to. We didn't even solidify our plans until the day of. Which was cool because it didn't give me time to stress over it.

The Surly Goat is mentioned by him as a place to go. Sometimes the music is really loud there, but I'm okay with that choice. I respond saying that's cool or we can go to Barney's Beanery, Jen and I's local hangout. He responds with "8:30 at Barney's". I regret this immediately. I think about the fact that there are a bunch of people that go there that I kinda know. Like the dude that I gave my number to 2 months ago before I was actually ready to date. Oh well, I think, no worries, it'll be okay.

I get home after work and immediately notice that Jen is dressed up. Before I even ask her what she's doing I already know the answer.

"Hey, what are you getting into tonight?"

"I have a date tonight."

"Cool, so where are you going?" I know what she's about to say.

"Barney's." Yep, there it is.

"I too have a date tonight."

"Rad!"

"And I too will be at Barney's tonight"

We both start laughing.

Her eyes get big as though she is a kid being offered candy. "Can I be a fly on the wall for your date?" She would die to be able to spy on someone's first date in order to write about it. (Anyone brave enough to let her do this? Write to her. This would be like a Christmas present to her. Seriously.)

"No! Number One: You have your own date to deal with. And two: I'm already nervous, there's no way I could act normal if I know you are listening."

She leaves and I have an hour and a half before my date. I try to eat, am too nervous and abandon my burrito, dance around to music, get dressed, hair and makeup, more dancing and then I call my mom. While I am on the phone with my mom, I get a text. "Hey Mom, I gotta respond to this, it's my date." I hang up and read the text and realize that it is not my date but another guy I met through OKCupid. Amazing! Is this really my life?

I get to Barney's and find a place at the bar and order my favorite, Newcastle. I scan the place for Jen, don’t see her, although I’m sure she’ll see me. The bar is pretty busy because the Rangers/Cardinals game is on. He shows up a minute after I get my beer. Confident Hug! Confident Hug Julie!

We snag a table and start talking about music and concerts. We're into the same kind of music and he's gone to some pretty awesome concerts. 15 minutes into this date and this guy and I have more in common than I did with date #1.

At some point it gets even louder than it already was. To the point where we can no longer ignore it. We look around and realize that the baseball game is in the ninth inning. There are Rangers fans to my left and Cardinals fans to my right. We start doing sports commentary on the game. He's actually really good at it and I find out that he has a podcast he does with some friends. Cool. Then he looks at me and asks, "Should we choose a team to root for?" I laughed, "Yes, we totally need to choose a side!" "Well, The Rangers are winning right now." "No! Let's go with the underdogs! Plus, I'm wearing red!" We start cheering for the Cardinals, who end up winning. Now we are high fiving the Cardinals fans because they think we are one of them. It was hilarious!

We close our tabs and decide to walk down to The Surly Goat. As we are walking he puts his hand on my back, like half putting his arm around me. Umm, no. Not a deal breaker but I just met you!

We stay at The Goat for about an hour, he tells me about his job as a TV producer, which includes some funny stories. It is now 12:30 and I'm tired. He has to be on set at 7:30 (the time I wake up!) so we call it a night. When it's time to part ways I go in for the Confident Hug. We actually talk for another 30 seconds. I go in for another hug and he kisses me on the cheek. Whoa. Eek.

The next day I got a I had a good time, would like to see you again text. I told him yes. And thankfully, I have not received more texts (date #1 did not know how to play it cool and just kept.on.texting.me).

Overall: good conversation, had common interests, not very physically attracted to him but we had a lot of fun. I was very proud of how less nervous I was this time around.

Time to get back on OKC as I only have a week left to get a third date!

#juliesdatingadventure

 Click here to follow Julie on Twitter

#NerdsUnite: @ItsMeJoolie 's big dating adventure!!!

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Julie. You may already know her as Confessions of an Unwed Bride, but she has finally decided to begin to venture out into the dating world and is asking for your help and support as she goes through step by step of this life altering decision. Dudes, this is a BIG deal! She's never dated before ... like ever!! Well, I'll let her tell you more ... HIT IT JULIE! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Julie Wilson

Date #1

I did it you guys! I did it! I did it! I went out on a date! Happy dance!

I'm so relieved now but by 6pm on Sunday night, the night of date #1, I was a complete mess. To say that I freaked out in the hours leading up to my very first date in 8 years would be an understatement. I started sweating and my face and chest got red and splotchy. I am 29 and the last time I went out on a date was when I was 20. 20!! I was in college at the time and it's different in college. You meet a lot of people organically in class, work, dorms, bars or house parties. I was about to embark on my first "adult date" and I wasn't handling it very well. Plus, this would be the first time I would meet up with someone I met through an online dating site.

I was going to be meeting him at 8pm at a restaurant/bar downtown for drinks. Earlier in the week I axed dinner as my single friends informed me that dinner is too much of an investment for a first date.

My mom calls me to check in on me. I am so flustered trying to get ready that I can't even talk to her. She tries to calm me down but I tell her I have to start getting ready. I grab Jen and have her help me with what I should wear for the evening. I freaked over that. A dress? Pants? Heels? Boots? My converse? Is that too casual? She did her best to console the inconsolable and headed out.

I texted the dude to confirm the address and we texted back and forth for a bit which was kind of a cool lead in to the date. I then called two friends to help me calm down."Do you remember that time that you called me before a date and you were freaking and wanted me to help you calm down. WELL, I NEED YOU TO RETURN THE FAVOR RIGHT NOW!" Another friend called me on my drive to check in on me. I left an hour early to get there in plenty of time and to leave me a few minutes to sit in the car and chill.

I find the place with no problem. I send out a tweet right before I go inside:

I head inside and walk over to the bar. I find a spot with two seats and I sit down. "OMG, Am I going to recognize this person that I have only seen in pictures on OKC?" I don't even have time to continue freaking out because he then walked through the door. Yay! I recognize him! And boom, just like that, the freaking out portion of the evening is over. I click on the socializing function in my brain and I'm all set. He walks my way and Jen's voice echoes in my brain, "Go in for the confident hug to avoid the awkward handshake/kiss" (This is the most practical dating advice I have ever heard btw).

This place has a really interesting drink menu, def not your run of the mill selections. I really just wanted a Newcastle but I can hang, no worries. He orders us two drinks and tells me to try both and take the one I like. One of the drinks has a ‘salt’ rim. While I'm in mid sip he says, "I'll tell you what that rim is made of now. Crickets." Wow, I think to myself, well, if I get nothing else out of this date I can now say I have ingested crickets. He laughs at the face I make as I look at the menu. He says, "It's right on there - but it's in Spanish" (which he speaks. btw - you get points for that because I grew up in South Florida and can't even help my love for Latin men).

Through the course of the evening I realize that he frequents this place, a lot. He knows one of the bartenders well and I start wondering about how many chicks he brings here on dates. The date goes fine, no awkward pauses as we both seem pretty good at polite conversation. But I never have even one moment with this guy where I go, "You like that too?! That's so awesome!" And we talk about music, TV, movies, books. I'm a nerd; you have to be into something in these categories that I'm into. I want to freak out with you over something. Can we argue over DC vs. Marvel or Star Trek vs. Star Wars? He said Weird Science didn't really hold up when he watched it recently. Darn, because that's one of my ALLTIME FAVORITE MOVIES!

We close the place down and he walks me to my car. Again, I go in for the confident hug to avoid awkwardness. He tells me he'd love to see me again, I nervously nod or something, I don't even remember. I do remember walking back to my car so excited that I met my fear head on. I was so scared to date. For so many reasons. I thought I would instantly fall in love if I went on a single date. I didn't.

Overall, I would say this was a success!

The only problem now is this guy will not stop texting me! Soooooo how do you turn down a second date?   

Thank you so much TNTML community for your love and support!

#juliesdatingadventure

 Click here to follow Julie on Twitter

#NerdsUnite: @ItsMeJoolie 's big dating adventure!!!

My actual OKC profile pic

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Julie. You may already know her as Confessions of an Unwed Bride, but she has finally decided to begin to venture out into the dating world and is asking for your help and support as she goes through step by step of this life altering decision. Dudes, this is a BIG deal! She's never dated before ... like ever!! Well, I'll let her tell you more ... HIT IT JULIE! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Julie Wilson

Last week Jen challenged me to go on 3 dates in 30 days. Not a big deal you say? To me it is! Ah! I'm so nervous about this whole thing! As Jen said in the initial post, I literally have no dating experience. I have relationship experience that far surpasses most people my age, but someone a decade younger than me could school me on casual dating. I've never just gone on a date or two with a person and that was it.

So after the accepting the challenge I asked Jen for some help on updating my OKC profile. Jen and I sat down together and made some edits. I changed my profile pic to one of me that shows off my boobs, lol, this is no time to be shy. While I was still on the site making updates I got a ton of views, but no conversions.

Then emails started to roll in. My nerves went up but I started with the simple act of writing back. Even if I wasn't sure that I actually wanted to go on a date. That alone was a challenge at first, but one that I quickly got past.

As the next couple of days went by I got some emails from some dudes that I actually found interesting and attractive - yeeeeeeeeeeees!

And yesterday a dude asked me to meet up this weekend! I can't because I am going to San Diego, buuut I'll work it out for next week. Score!

I'm nervous, and anxious but excited to share! Stay tuned! <3

#nerdsunite

 Click here to follow Julie on Twitter

#NerdsUnite: @ItsMeJoolie 's big dating adventure!!!

Nerds, I need your help. @ItsMeJoolie, my roomie and writer of the series of posts Confessions of an Unwed Bride is in a funk. 

A baaaaaadddd funk. 

So, as you all know, she and her duderino broke off their engagement last year - but after talking to Julie, she revealed to me that she's never even done the "dating" thing. She was with her guy for almost 8 years, and prior to that another duderino for a few years - the girl hasn't ever dated someone without it turning into a relationship!! Como say WHHAA???!! 

Seriously! 

So, it's not even that she can't date anyone new (she has yet to go out on a date with someone other than her ex), she doesn't know how. 

This is where she needs our help. 

I have given Julie a task. She has 30 days to go out on at least 3 dates with duderinos from the site OkCupid. We sat down the other week and helped revamp her profile - all that jazz - so she's set there, but what she needs now is our support and love in kicking her in the butt to get her to respond to dudes and actually arrange a meet up. 

This is one thing I learned with my night of being a wing girl with Neil Strauss' students - it wasn't actually about "getting the girl" it was about understanding social dynamics. Julie doesn't know the social dynamics to dating. She has no idea that it's totes awesome sauce to go out on one date and not have to call the guy back. It's DATING!!! Easy peasy. But again, I say this after going out on 103 dates in 9 months. It's easy for me to think this way because I do it - for her, this is a hurdle. 

Whattya say we help her break through this nerds??? What do you say Julie?? Are you game?? Are you brave enough to document 3 dates in the next 30 days to better help you understand the social dynamics in dating?? 

#thisisyourmissionshouldyouchoosetoaccept