#NerdsUnite: 50 dates in 50 states (an adventure in online dating)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Kevin. He is on a mission to execute 50 dates in 50 states while documenting all of his adventures on dropnpop.com. Pretty cool, huh? Here are some of his latest and greatest thoughts on life and love through his nerdy little eyes. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT KEVIN!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @dropnpop1

With trying to put together this upcoming adventure I have had the privilege of perusing thousands of ladies online dating profiles and all I have to say is WOWWWA!  There is not a day that goes by that I'm truly not entertained.  I never know what I'm going to find once I start peeling away that personality onion.   I have encountered strippers that were getting their PhD's to married women looking for a NSA fling.  It really is quite fascinating and everyone has their own story to tell.

It should come to no surprise that the majority of messages I send to these ladies are based solely on a woman's appearance before I even read their profile.  Don't judge.  I know many of you that are reading this entry and use dating websites, do the same thing.  However, while rifling through their pics I do happen to read all their cute little headlines and I gotta tell ya I've seen quite a few that have been used over and over and over.  So the K-Man, proprietor of DNP, will show you the top recycled headlines and let you know exactly what a man thinks after reading them.  Without further adieu, here they are. 

Live. Laugh. Love:

Awwww this is so cute, Mary Poppins.  Every time I see this headline I think OK this chick has seen one too many Ryan Gosling and Channing Tatum films.  I get it, these three little words are something that many people strive for in life and it makes a catchy phrase with the alliteration and all, but it also makes me want to vomit.  I know I'm going to catch a lot of shit for ripping on this headline because so many of the women use it, but it makes me think that this woman is looking for a fantasy and not a reality.

Looking for Mr. Right, not Mr. right now:

How often are women seriously looking for Mr. right now and would admit it?  I know it probably happens immediately after a breakup or a divorce but c'mon, I like to think that the majority of the women are looking for more.  There is no need to tell us that you are looking for Mr. Right on a dating website.  If you have to drive this point home, it makes me wonder how many Mr. Right Now's you've had. 

Just looking for fun:

Ohhh dear lord.  Do you know what this says to a guy?  I mean, seriously?  I know YOUR idea of fun maybe be going to dinner or taking in a flick at the theater but here is the message being conveyed to a dude. "Oh really?  I can provide some fun for this girl, ;) ;)"  As innocent as you may think this headline may be, men almost immediately think sex.  I'm sorry, but it's true.  This just came across the newswire "Men Are Horny!"  Don't show a statement that will immediately push our simple brains into a sexual conversation.  Inevitably it will go there three minutes down the line, but no need to put the pedal to the metal. 

We can say we met somewhere else:

Well that sucks!  Are you ashamed that we met online?  Somewhere along the way, online dating received this stigma that it's not cool to meet someone over the internet.  Why is that?  Is it much different than meeting someone out and about?  So what do I think when I see this?  She is someone that probably is a little more shy and not quite as outgoing.  Most likely very family oriented (which is a good thing) but is afraid to be judged by those close to them in their life.  Most likely spends a lot of her time worrying about what others think.  This isn't a deal breaker for me but it's generally someone I don't date.  I like a woman with an adventurous spirit.

Can someone show me that all men are not the same?:

Ladies and Gents, we have a winner.  The most over used introduction in online dating.  When I read this headline I immediately hear in my head those annoying sirens that go off when a government security establishment has been breached.  Why do you ask?  You know I'm going to tell you.  Ok, this woman has been cheated on and has a wall up the size of Kilimanjaro.  There is no getting past it either.  All men are immediately scum of the earth and also the enemy.  I steer clear of these women.  I will let some other poor sap grab a sledgehammer and start chipping away at that wall before I take a swing.  See ya in 2 to 3 years. 

Or maybe this headline means why do guys all send a pic of their junk?  Possibly, you ladies are asking, why do all dudes take a pic in the toothpaste riddled mirror, minus a shirt and their face looking down at the camera as the flash goes off?  I know there a lot of guys that that fire off these pics, but no ladies not all of us do that.  We all probably would if we had rock hard abs, but most of us guys with kegs instead of six packs shy away from this photo op.  I'm guilty of doing this once however.  Oh the shame.

Don't worry.  There will be an entry of some of the headlines that I find extremely cool and witty.  Just not tonight.  I have dates to get.  YB!!

#nerdsunite

Click here to follow Kevin on Twitter!

and check out his blog over yonder!!

#NerdsUnite: Midwest S&M, FTW!

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Kevin. He is on a mission to execute 50 dates in 50 states while documenting all of his adventures on dropnpop.com. Pretty cool, huh? Here are some of his latest and greatest thoughts on life and love through his nerdy little eyes. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT KEVIN!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @dropnpop1

Alright, I just had to share this story with everyone.  As many of you know I'm starting my 50 dates in 50 states trip later this month.  I feel like the pointer sisters, that's how excited I am.  Ohhhhhhhh....that was a bad joke.  Anyway, one of the outlets I'm using to get these dates is through online dating websites.  If you are single and want to be entertained, definitely sign up on one.  Don't be ashamed.  The conversations you will have will blow your mind.  It's so much easier for someone to say what they really feel when they are hiding behind a computer.  Which brings me to what this next entry is about.

I was perusing a dating website focusing on the great state of Oklahoma, home of the sooners and sexy cowgirls, when I stumbled across this really hot blonde.  Blonde? Go figure, right?  So we get to chatting and I tell her about my little adventure.  It's always fun to see the reaction from these women when I inform them of my plans.  It ranges from, go fuck yourself to this is the coolest thing I've ever heard.  Well, this particular girl tells me she interested and I was extra pumped because she seemed cool, adventurous and was definitely hot!  

We get to talking a little more and she says to me "So, what are you packing?"  

My response was "Well, I will be gone for 2 months so I need to bring a lot of clothes.  I'm also taking my guitar and my iPad"  Keep in mind this whole conversation is taking place over instant messenger and not the phone.

I then see this response hit the IM box. "Hahahahahahahahahaha, SMH."  Now I didn't know what SMH meant exactly and had to Google it.  Apparently it means "Shaking My Head".  That's when it hit me.  She wanted to know the size of the wang.  

"Ohhhhhhhh!"  I try to think of something witty and funny to say at that point so I cycle through the various Rodney Dangerfield lines in my brain and respond with "Let's just say I once entered a three-legged race by myself."

A conversation of the sexual nature continues and she tells me she is a dominatrix.  At this point I'm intrigued and start asking her some "probing" questions.  Little did I know that I was going to get an all access pass into the mind of a hot sadistic woman and what she tells me next prompts me to spell out my own three letter acronym, WTF!!!

"So I'm having this guy come over and I'm going to tie him up at the ankles and wrists to my bed, blindfold him and I'm going to invite 15 people over.  We are all going to take turns playing with him"

Completely dumbfounded I say, "Yer, Yer, Yer, You're joking right?" 

"Nope. It's going to be a mix of guys and girls at the party."

At this point, I didn't know what to say.  I had that awkward silence during an IM chat that I'm sure many of you have had when you see something that just blows your mind come on your screen and not knowing how to respond.  Just by her last statement I now know that I will not be going out with this chick when I'm in Oklahoma which is why you see a big, gaping yellow hole in the midwest on the map below. Get your mind out of the gutter. I want to come back with all my body parts just in case someday I actually wish to enter a three-legged race by myself.  

I didn't think I needed to put this out there but I guess I have to.  I'm not looking to be tied up, gagged, spanked, whipped, chained, or kicked in the balls on this trip.  I've seen enoughReal Sex on HBO to know how that story ends.  If any of my dates are reading this right now and have this in mind, now is the time to speak up so I can find your replacement.  That being said, if any of you actually moonlight as a dominatrix I would love to hear the stories.  YB!!

**On a side note, if any of you have some cool nerdy friends, that reside in the states colored yellow that may be interested in a date, let me know. 

#nerdsunite

Click here to follow Kevin on Twitter!

and check out his blog over yonder!!

#NerdsUnite: The Booty Call

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Kevin. He is on a mission to execute 50 dates in 50 states while documenting all of his adventures on dropnpop.com. Pretty cool, huh? Here are some of his latest and greatest thoughts on life and love through his nerdy little eyes. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT KEVIN!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @dropnpop1

I was having an interesting conversation the other day with a friend about the good old booty call and it occurred to me that I have not placed or received one these calls in quite some time. I don't know if that makes me sad or more mature?  However, at some point in our lives we probably have all made this desperate plea for some late night lovin'.  

So who is responsible for the first ever booty call?  Well, here at DNP (Drop 'N Pop) and our team of savvy historical researchers (Ok it's just me really) have that answer for you. It's none other than Juliet Capulet.  Yes, the first ever booty call was made by a Shakespeare character. She planted herself on the balcony calling out "Romeo, Romeo wherefore art thou Romeo?  Art thou extremely horny?"  Soon enough they became star-crossed lovers and eventually perish due to their inability to control their raging teenage hormones.  This is when we also first realize that a booty call does not always end well. Ok, so maybe you don't die from a booty call in today's world, but you do have to endure the "The Walk Of Shame". I will save that topic for another day.

So over the next few centuries this art form evolved tremendously all the way up to 1930's. This is when you biked your ass over to your hookup's house, threw a couple of pennies or pebbles at Peggy Sue's window in hopes that she'd wake up and you wouldn't hear the sound of shattering glass.  She would peak her head out, give you the ok and soon you would be scaling an oak tree, risking your life from a potential free fall just for some strange.

Things have changed since then.  With modern day technology you no longer have to go out on a limb (pun intended) to score after a night-long bender.  Simply send an encrypted text message at 2:00 a.m. that reads, "Hey, what's up?".  If all goes well she will give you the ok to stop by in the form of a response that resembles this, "nothing, just chillin".  See these poetic words and you're in!  Alright I'm probably exaggerating a little, but I don't think I'm too far off.

So let me explain to you how a booty call goes for someone in their 30's.  Ummm not well, which is probably why I never attempt them anymore and are reserved more for the younger generation.  See, what happens as you get older, women value sleep more.  If you are calling during the wee hours of the morning you most likely won't be greeted with a "Hey, Kevin. How are you?"  It will be more like "Why the fuck are you calling me this late, dipshit?!?!" As a tip, if you get this response just say "I butt dialed you, sorry!" Which really isn't a lie because in actuality you WERE trying to score some "ass".  Yb!!

#nerdsunite

Click here to follow Kevin on Twitter!

and check out his blog over yonder!!

#Question: Is Chivalry Dead?

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Kevin. He is on a mission to execute 50 dates in 50 states while documenting all of his adventures on dropnpop.com. Pretty cool, huh? Here are some of his latest and greatest thoughts on life and love through his nerdy little eyes. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT KEVIN!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @dropnpop1

Before you check out this next post, I want you to picture in your mind Sean Connerynarrating.  It may make this more enjoyable. 

 It should come to no surprise that I utilize various online dating websites with varying degrees of success and the one headline I see more often than any other on these dating profiles is this particular question about chivalry.  So before I can answer it, I think it's important to define chivalry as listed in most dictionaries.

CHIV·AL·RY

The medieval system, principles, and customs of knighthood.

The qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women

Ok, now that we have that out of the way the answer to your question, drum roll please......wait for it...

Yes!

Chivalry is most certainly dead.  The days of a knight wearing shining armor, fending off 100 men to save his beloved are over.  The only way you are going to receive the true chivalrous treatment is to somehow find your way into Camelot.  However, keep your guard up because I've got to imagine even some of the knights in this mythical place were total pricks.  I mean, even Sir Lancelot was bending King Arthur's wife, Guinevere, over the round table.  That is hardly knightly behavior.  

But modern day knights do exist.  All you need to do is jump the Atlantic to see living, breathing knights. If my memory serves me correctly, Sir Paul McCartney has been welcomed into this institution and I know a ton of women find this guy attractive.  Or maybe, it's the fact that he has a billion freaking dollars and just happened to be a Beatle.

The good new ladies is the previous couple paragraphs were my attempt at comedy whether you chuckled or not, because the qualities that make a man chivalrous are alive and well.  They may take a vacation every once in awhile but you will be happy to know that many men still possess these qualities. However, these particular men are most likely not found at your local night club with a t-shirt painted on their body and their hat perpendicular to their eyes. This guy is more likely to posses the qualities of a wet flapping douchebag rather than a knight.  

However, my attempt at chivalry was shot down recently while on a date.  We had an awesome dinner at fantastic restaurant and as we got up to leave I looked out the window and happened to notice some harsh weather conditions outside.   The rain was pounding the pavement.  The trees looked as if they could be uprooted at any second by the 80 mph gusts of wind.  Ok, maybe that's exaggerating a little but nonetheless the weather was shitty.  I offered to go to the car, come back, and pick her up at the front door of the restaurant.  She turned to me, dropped her chin, looked up at me with her sarcastic eyes and said "I'm not helpless.  I can walk thank you!"  

So the moral of the story, chivalry is not dead and bitchiness is very much alive. 

#nerdsunite

Click here to follow Kevin on Twitter!

and check out his blog over yonder!!