#GeekSpeak: The sometimes random misadventures of @Abby_Cake

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Abby. I met her in Chicago at the #20SBSummit, and this chick is raaaddddd!! She considers herself more of a nerd than a geek - but I think she's just all shades of random and awesome. Oh and FTR, the TNTML stance on nerds versus geeks are that nerds are products of a genetic predisposition, and geeks are raised. BOOH-YAH!!! I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ABBY!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Abby_Cake

I have been on the pill since I was 17. Originally to regulate my period, presently because I like sex. However, if you recall my last birth control related post, I decided to get an implant in my arm that would effectively eliminate the risk of pregnancy and render my period into obscurity. Sign me up, amirite? But, I was on the pill until the end of August: specifically Previfem.

Why does this matter? Well, my Mom called me yesterday to tell me she received an interesting letter in the mail.

<b>Mom: </b>"So, uh, it looks like your birth control has been recalled."

<b>Me: </b>"But... it's in my arm?"

<b>Mom: </b>"No your pill, last month they messed up the packaging so you might have taken it in reverse. Do you still have the package because it might not even be yours."

<b>Me: </b>"Hell no, I threw it away weeks ago!"

<b>Mom: </b>"Oh, well, I figured I'd better tell you because if you're pregnant I didn't want you to think it was your new birth control. And it's probably not good for you to be drinking so much if you <i>are</i> pregnant. I mean, I am sure you aren't pregnant... but you know alcohol isn't good for babies. So maybe no margaritas tonight?"

<b>Me: </b>"I have to go...."

As I mentioned, my new birth control basically made my period obsolete so I <i>haven't had one</i> in a month. Naturally, I made the logical first step which was totally freaking out, followed by looking up the recall on Huffington Post, followed by Tweeting about it, followed by a trip to the drug store.

If you've never had to buy a pregnancy test before, you should do it just for funsies. It's way more awkward than buying condoms. I had this look of petrified terror on my face that I was certain everyone could sense; and the cashier always sort of analyzes your emotions like Data from Star Trek. It's awful.

Pregnancy test procured, I went back to my apartment where I told my boyfriend, "Wish me luck. At least we know their college would be paid for with the lawsuit I would level against them." Uncomfortable laughter followed.

It should be mentioned that peeing on a stick is not as easy as it sounds (does it sound easy?). I ended up backwards on the toilet with my pants all the way off. Then, there's the epic 2-3 minutes of impatiently sitting (with or without your pants still off) while the stick considers your fate.

Ultimately, it was negative.

*cue marching band of relief*

Suffice to say, I was completely freaked out and am really glad I am not taking a pill anymore. I mean, DO YOUR JOB PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES!! There was NO NEED to ruin my perfectly good Saturday night of watching Star Trek in my pajamas.

xx, @abby_cake

#nerdsunite

Want more from Abby?? Check out her blog over yonder - and don't forget to drop her a follow on twitter!!