Fun with #OkCupid: I'm going to start charging for this ...

The emails I get every day on OKC literally blow me the fuck away.

MEN. COULD. NOT. BE. MORE. CLUELESS. WHEN. IT. COMES. TO. ONLINE. DATING. 

For reals, it's adorable, and potentially leaves me open for market opportunities - but I have no words sometimes, like look at this dude ... 

Don't get me wrong, I get what he is saying ... but to even GET to the face to face, you have to follow a series of steps. 

Step 1. Fill out profile

Step 2. Answer personality questions for match/ friend/ enemy

Step 3. Add pictures and description

Step 4. Email women pulling one single detail from their profile asking them to elaborate. 

Step 5. Once she responds (and ONLY if she responds) ask her out for a drink/ coffee

and BOOM that is when you get your face to face, but I'm not just going to randomly look at your pic go, oohhhhhhh he's hot - sure, let's meet. It's the fucking internet, do you know how many creepers there are out there??

Google it - it's a GAJILLION ... literally. 

Next consultation I charge ... that is if I can stand having a permanent palm stuck to my face for the rest of my life. 

#whyohwhy

Comments

[Matt De Luna]

Thanks for all the info Jen. I am recently single and this is some good advice for those of us trying to make it in the world of online dating. I just recently discovered your website and I love it. It really gives me a good insight into the mind of the "nerdy girls" out there. I'll take everything you said and apply it to my OKC account. Keep up the good work on the site and I'll keep reading.

[K-Man]

Hey Jen, another excellent post. You make many valid points and your steps to follow are spot on. However, I did a little experiment of my own and the number one thing I found that gets a response back and ultimately a date is a dudes appearance. I'm a 33 year old guy and I once put a pic up of me that was one of my best, following the same steps listed above and I would get a ton of responses. I took it down after a couple of weeks and put a less flattering one (not something completely awful) and also followed the same steps. I found that the responses definitely diminished. I have to believe that the laws of attraction first start at appearance when it comes to online dating. That being said I don't want to pigeon hole every woman saying a guys looks are the driving force into getting a response.

Online dating is definitely a science and just when I think I have figured out I get thrown another curve ball. But I have to say I love it. Each one of you women are so different and learning what makes you tick is fascinating.

[Vic]

Hi Jen,
Many thanks for posting this. As a guy who recently tried OKCupid and quit after sending 25 messages with no replies, this is a big help. I think there is a subtlety in No. 4 that many guys (including myself) miss. Pulling one thing from the profile and commenting on it is one thing, asking for more details or to elaborate is something totally different.

I always made a comment about something in the profile to let them know that I wasn't just cruising pics and not reading the profiles. But I also usually closed the message with some variant of "message back if you'd like to chat sometime or catch a drink". And now I see there was a very important middle piece I was leaving out and I was requesting a follow up too soon.

I tried OK Cupid in the first place because of what you have shared about your experience. I'm a single guy in a new city (Austin, TX) and it seemed worth a try. Perhaps I shall revisit OK Cupid with your advice on No. 4 well taken.
Many thanks,
Vic

[Reader1]

You're right there actually is a market for this. One services charges $400/month in exchange for setting you up on two dates (from a list of girls you approve)

Packages Menu

Date Delivery - $400/month
One hour of date coaching per week
Profile Creation and Touch-Up
Image Consulting & Editing
Qualified Match Search
Comunication Initiation & Upkeep
Two dates delivered with approved matches

A La Carte Menu
Online Dating Advice and Coaching (via phone or messenger) - $20.00/hr
Profile Creation & Writing (includes image consulting & editing up to 5 images) - $72.00
Image Consulting and Editing (up to 5 photos) -$25.00
E-mail Templates and Messaging Coaching (3 different examples) -$40.00
Match Search (delivering 25 qualified matches per week) -$20.00/wk

Maybe time to add another arm to the Jen empire? Now if only you would respond to one of the hundred OkCupid messages I sent you ;) haha