Fun with #OkCupid: An honest look at how a female reviews your @OkCupid profile
Wednesday, December 21, 2011 at 9:59AM
I have spent the last year and a half on the popular online dating website, okcupid. During that time - I kinda learned a lot. My goal for 2012 is to help you nerderinos understand more about the female psyche and what really matters to a chickadee when it comes to online dating. Here is what I hope to be the first of many ...
Please note: I don't speak for all females everywhere - I am just ferociously analytical, and genuinely enjoy helping people not suck at online dating. So here is how I analyze online dating profiles prior to messaging a duderino.
The first place my eyes go to are the ...
1. Match/ Friend/ Enemy ranking
I will always. always. always. look at our percentage of match/ friend/ and enemy first. I don't trust myself when it comes to picking out a guy, but I do trust an algorithm, and OKC has proven to be pretty rad at matching me with friends (however after over a year and a half, I'm still single - so the jury is still out on how it actually matches you in a relationship).
Super super super important to answer as many questions on OKC as you can. Sure it will take you time, but we could be matched pretty high in theory but if you only answer 15 questions to my nearly 300 - and one of those is different than I answered, the system isn't going to match us very high. SUPPEERRR important to answer at least 200. I know, I know - it's a lot ... but trust, females look at this first.
If we are matched high enough I will then click on your pictures ...
2. Pictures
After I see that we are compatible, I will then scroll through your pictures. Is this person the life of the party? Or do they merely have a series of photobooths with titles like "serious face" and "magnum." Dudes, quit being lame. Tell girls the story of your life in your photos!
There I am spinning the wheel on the price is right, skydiving, shamelessly promoting TNTML, at a hippie commune, rocking my spirithood - all of these pictures mean something to me and tell you something about my personality. Guys can tell a LOT about me by my photos ... return the freaking favor!!! Like dogs? Show me you and your puppies! Work at the Coffee Bean and make a kick ass latte? BITCHIN!!! Work that smock and have someone take a pic of you making your magic. Your default picture should ALWAYS be a clear shot of your face with a genuine smile, but the rest of your pictures should be you visually telling people the story of your life.
If I like the story you are telling visually - I will then click back to your profile and fully read it ...
3. Read the actual profile.
I have clocked myself, and I spend less than 15 seconds viewing a dude's online profile. That's freaking it!! FIFTEEN SECONDS!!!
You have to keep your profile short and sweet while remembering to actually answer all of the questions. Don't pull the, "well I'd like you to get to know me, so why should I really put anything in there anyway." ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?!?! This is a sales game!! Sell yourself to me!! I'm not even going to send you a message let alone agree to freaking meet with you if you don't entice me a little.
You can TOTALLY be cheeky with it too if you're a cheeky person! Be you! Look at mine ...
Your opening line in your profile should always grab people. In this particular instance I'm traveling - so I mention that in the opening line ... but otherwise, mine leads with "dirty hippies speak to my soul and Jesus Christ isn't my superstar." BOOM!!! Can't you feel the personality jumping off of the page right there?
Now it's your turn!! I can't BEGIN to tell you how many profiles I've read that say ...
I'm a kind guy. Down to earth. Hard working oh, and I'm funny ... blah. blah. blah. blah. blah.
If you were funny you would have made me laugh with your opening line. You have less than 15 seconds to grab a girl's attention - the opening line is everything.
Be witty, be creative - but most importantly ... just be you!
I even had one guy call out the fact that chick's don't fully read profiles in his profile. I forget how he worded it, but he said he had less than 30 seconds to catch your eye, and basically if you had gotten this far you had already deemed him attractive and he shouldn't say much more out of fear for fucking it up.
I laughed so hard I immediately messaged him and gave him my number asking to hang out when I get back into town.
So, what are the action items we can take away from this?
1. It's super important to answer the questions on OKC. It's how their compatability is measured, and chicks. will. look. at. this. So spend time answering them!!
2. Tell the story of your life in your pictures. OKC let's you have up to 10, so use 'em! Don't just have a series of photobooths, have some action shots!! Don't have pics? Not a problem! Ask a friend to help you out! Make an afternoon out of it, whatever! It's SUPER important to have the variety so if you want to actually find someone, you have to make this a priority.
3. Grab the chick's attention with a witty opening line in your profile. And again, this is about you expressing your personality, so if you're not a witty person - go you! Be you! But EXPRESS WHO YOU ARE IN THE FIRST SENTENCE!!! She's not going to read the entire thing on the first pass, so you have to grab her attention right from the get go.
Happy online dating nerds!! If there's anything I can do to help you can always reach out to me - here's my OKC profile. Good luck out there! xoxoxo
#nerdsunite
Reader Comments (4)
I don't know about other guys but I review a woman's profile much the same way. I stop reading a profile if they start sounding like the 100s of other profiles I've already viewed. If I see anything along the lines of "I love to laugh", "I'm very independent", "I like to watch sports", or some other generalization without something else to go off of with it, I move on to the next profile. Show or say what makes you laugh, what makes you independent, or what sports you like to watch. If left up in the air, it makes it really tough for a guy like me to make any kind of lead in to a conversation of any kind. Guys like me need a rope sometimes with a big flashing sign that says "Start Here". I've come across more women's profiles that really made me wish they were my type because of what they wrote made me laugh, smile, or otherwise keep my attention.
In short, be original or even just unconventional and try not to sound like the thousands of other seemingly vapid girls out there. Ladies, you're trying to catch our eyes as well so take Jen's advice for the guys to heart as well...especially about answer more questions. I've got 846 done. They don't take that long when you're 100% honest with yourself.
Btw Jen, we're a 0% match but I still dig your profile.
holy shit - literally a 0%? or did you just not answer any of the questions??
Fantastic advice! Upon reading this, I trashed my entire profile and re-wrote it from scratch. And the funny thing is, it's now a much more accurate depiction of who I am. Thank you, Jen!
This is THE BEST review of okcupid I've seen bar none! :-)
Great tips, helpful advice, and I agree 100%. I say the same thing about people we meet in person too. If you ask someone to tell you about themselves, the first thing they think of is "I like sports, I like this and that. I'm this." Really? No fun in those types of responses. :)
btw: loving the content here...you've got a new fan!