Monday
Jan162012
#NerdPr0nz: Behind the Scenes with @Meow_Misti_Dawn (the emotional affair)
Monday, January 16, 2012 at 1:00PM<editorsnote> Misti Dawn is the nerdiest girl working in porn. In this column she invites you inside of her world outside of the sets, and inside her heart. awwwwwwwwww</editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @MeowMistiDawn
Here i am my last day in Jamaica. About to leave for the airport actually. Its been an awful week. A week ago today my life was ruined, changed, destroyed. Whatever you want to call it. I found out my husband was having an emotional affair. Telling another girl he loved her, even when we was visiting my family for the holidays. I didnt want to believe it at first. I found it, i went thru his phone. He denied and denied to to my face.
She finally spilt the beans seeing he obviously didnt care about her feelings or mine. He wanted what he wanted when he wanted it. I called his parents. Told them everything. I really love his family. I am so sad to not be part of it anymore. I dont know if that will happen.
It all roots to his problem of lying. a lot. about everything for no reason. We know that but still love him. trying to help. He flip flops between agreeing to the problem and anger. Hes in anger right now. He tells me it done. He doesnt want to try. He doesnt feel. So now i get on a plane going back to California. Alone.
Its going to be a tough road a head. And ill make it. im not giving up what ive worked so hard for. But what fun is it if i cant share it? I dont know where my heart is right now, but i wish it wasnt beating.
Reader Comments (2)
thisgs always seem bleek during times of heartache. stay strong . if he wont share in your beautiful fun. i will !!!!
from one nerd to another i got your back . we all do !!
Stay strong. I too have been through that, just last fall as a matter of fact. The lies, the mood swings, the blaming myself. Even got back together a few times before realizing that the trust was broken. I was a mess for a long time, I still am sometimes. I am on medication for anxiety and depression and am still in therapy because of the complete mind fuck that I went through.
My ex still tries to contact me from time to time by text, but I stopped answering.
He will not change. I hate to say that and I hate to break your heart even more than it's already been broken, but it's true. The best thing you can do is to break all ties as quickly as possible. If you can, move back to your hometown. Get away from him, the lifestyle, and the lies of the porn world and LA. Find yourself again.
It will take a long time. It will be the most painful thing you have ever been through. But you will come out on the other side stronger for it. Surround yourself with positive people, and read as much as you can - I immersed myself in books as much as I could.
But most importantly, take care of YOU! Your health is #1, and your body is under such horrible stress right now.
Hugs to you Misti, you are stronger than you know <3
-Kimberly