#NerdsUnite: Ask That Nerdy Chick ... (is oral sex a relationship prerequisite?)
Monday, January 2, 2012 at 12:44PM
It is my goal for 2012 to take a lot of my weird and wonky experiences as a lifecaster and help nerdy dudes out by providing a frank (not shirley) and honest answer to some weird and potentially random questions you may have about life.
Here is a question I just got on Facebook ...
This question was asked from a guy - so I am going to assume he is asking about going down on a girl - but I will provide an answer for both.
Honestly, yeah. Both The Mentalist and Noah had a weird thing about not wanting to go down on me, but pretty much every other guy I've ever dated has loved it. Some guys for whatever reason really aren't into going down on a girl - and I'm not gonna lie from the female perspective it fucking sucks.
A girl going down on a dude is pretty much a no brainer. Some of my girlfriends will only do it if they are in a relationship, but I follow the rule of - you get what you give. If I go down on a guy I expect him to go down on me.
Period end of sentence.
Oral sex on a female is a tricky tricky thing. I've only ever come once from strictly oral stimulation. It's just not enough for me. The root of the female orgasm in general is stored in emotion not mechanics so I have to genuinely feel a connection with the guy, and then from there it's also rooted in how hormonally charged I happen to be. I am SUPER horny the week and some change before my period (as all females are. Evolution baby!) - so you take the timing of that, and add in oral sex - and I am a happy camper.
As far as dudes not liking oral sex or whatever reason guys have for not wanting to go down on a girl - I dunno. Noah and I talked about it because frankly I thought it was weird as he was the first guy to tell me he was grossed out by it - but then we tried it in the shower a few times which made him feel more comfortable. If you're nervous about going down on a chick just tell your partner - but to answer the question - yes, IMHO it is a relationship prerequisite on BOTH parts.
You get what you give, baby! =)
Got a question? Drop me an email! JenFriel at TalkNerdyToMeLover dot com
ORRRRR you can message me on Facebook and if it's within 140 characters on the twitter!
Best of luck out there nerds!!
xoxo <3 @JenFriel
#nerdsunite
Reader Comments (5)
I really think for some people it's a mental block kind of deal. Male or female. My most recent ex left me with at least one bit of good news. I gave her the best oral she ever had. However, it took some convincing for her to actually let me go down on her. She wasn't comfortable with it at first but she changed her tune in time. There was no reason for her to fear it after all. She just wasn't used to someone being so willing to actually do it for her. As for other guys not willing to go down for their girls, they're missing out on the rewards they could reap from such a favor.
I'm a girl, with a girlfriend and I HATE going down on her, it makes me feel ill and gag and no matter how much I try and hide it she can tell im not into it and it ruins her enjoyment of it. I enjoy receiving a little more than giving, but I feel very distant from the person giving and would prefer to do something else where I am closer to my partner. So I dont think we have had any kind of oral sex in nearly a year and its not a deal breaker.
On the other hand there must be some fairness, my first boyfriend would not go down on me at all (at that point I didn't even realise I didn't love it it) but he expected blow jobs of me! Which I also don't like giving, that is not on!
I'm SO fascinated by this ... did you have a bad experience or anything with going down on a girl? (Like Noah who was completely spooked by this one girl and since swore it off) Or is this an organic, "I just don't like it." kinda deal?
Well she is the only girl I have ever tried with. I didn't have any strong feelings before trying it, but its the taste and the smell, and I can't work out how to breath normally. It makes me gag, the last time I tried I didnt give stop till she came but then I had to rush to the bathroom cos I thought I was gonna be sick, it was then she told me not to try anymore.
Unfortunately, not at all experienced with the topic. As a guy, how much should I trim down there, if at all, so it's not as awkward as asking this question?