#NerdsUnite: Ask That Nerdy Chick (so you trimmed pot, eh?)

It is my goal for 2013 to take a lot of my weird and wonky experiences as a lifecaster and help nerdy peeps out by providing a frank (not shirley) and honest answer to some weird and potentially random questions you may have about life. 

Here's a question I got on Facebook this morning ... 

First of all, high-larious that that's how you found this site! Many thanks for the read and reaching out - even funnier that I was JUST telling this story in a meeting earlier this week. 

(Click here to read the story about how I trimmed pot)

So, as you guys know from reading the story, when you get pot it is in these little bunches that you break up and then put in some sort of paper or apparatus and smoke. 

Well, pot doesn't magically grow in those travel sizes. It starts like this ... 

and by the time you see it it is like this ... 

The in-between is processed by a group of people called "trimmers." 

To become a "trimmer" you must ... 

1) know someone with a pot farm. 

2) be really really good friends with them as this is a HIGHLY trust worthy experience (theft in this game is super high. pun intended). 

3) be prepared to be arrested. 

I was told over and over by my buddy that before we went up there, there was a 90% chance we were going to get arrested. At any given moment over pot farms (even legal ones) there are helicopters and cops on foot monitoring all of the activity occurring. 

I remember getting in the car at the undisclosed location, and getting the rundown ... It wasn't an "if" but a "when" we get arrested ... 

When you get arrested, stay quiet, he instructed. Don't tell them your name, don't say anything. We have an attorney that is going to get you out immediately and the worst that will happen is that you will have to stay there overnight. 

They had recommended getting a medicinal card before agreeing to trim since there are legalities in that that can actually save your bum, but because of the short notice it wasn't going to happen. 

If you're STILL kosher at that point with the whole you might become besties with Bubba or Betty The Babe, your next step in understanding the process is having an expectation of the conditions. 

It. Is. Podunk. where the pot farms actually are. 

Having grown up bopping around in the woods as a kid, I ADORED being in such a rustic setting but its def not for everyone. There is no "off" button in something like trimming. Depending obvi on the farm and the conditions, but from what I understand my experience was extremely standard. You basically live in either a shack/ cabin or tent of some sort and you wake up in the woods, eat breakfast camp style cooking whatever you can find, shower with whatever running water is available (remember it's not warm water) and use whatever facility is available for the restroom. 

Remember: Toilet paper brought from home is your best friend. 

How is the day spent? 

In a workspace with (depending on how big the farm is) 5-15 other trimmers. 

In my case, it was cool because they were from all around the world, so hearing so many native tongues interested me, but mostly people just keep to themselves. I listened to The Secret and other motivational tapes as I relaxed and literally spent all day just trimming trimming trimming. 

It comes in big bags (which is also someone else's job to sleep in a tent and cut down the pot to go into the bags in the first place) and every person is given a designated amount. 

I can't say exactly how much I got paid, but other friends of mine that have done it have made BANK and stocked away some SERIOUS cash spending a few months in northern Cali just trimming away. 

It's a super cool life experience. I'd go insane without wifi or solid electricity in general, but if you're rustic and mellow enough to vibe with it, I say do it dude! Save some cash, hear some stories, and enjoy the peace and quiet. 

When you're on the farm, pretty much all you do is eat, sleep, poop, trim pot, repeat. Again, be prepared outside of hiking there's not much else to do up there ... unless of course you get arrested, but SERIOUSLY make sure whoever hires you has a plan of action on getting you out - otherwise, make sure you have a lawyer on speed dial and the cash available to pay him/her. 

Got a question? Drop me an email! JenFriel at TalkNerdyToMeLover dot com

ORRRRR you can message me on Facebook and if it's within 140 characters on the twitter!

Best of luck out there nerds!!

xoxo <3 @JenFriel

#NerdsUnite: Ask That Nerdy Chick (the overly attached non-girlfriend)

It is my goal for 2013 to take a lot of my weird and wonky experiences as a lifecaster and help nerdy peeps out by providing a frank (not shirley) and honest answer to some weird and potentially random questions you may have about life. 

Here is a question I got on Facebook the other day ... 

Wait, hold the phone. You brought a chick two dozen red long stem roses? This was your FIRST date? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FREAKING MIND?!?! Did you know roses have meaning based on their colors? (Most chicks know this FYI) ... 

Red

Red roses are the traditional symbol for love and romance, and a time-honored way to say "I love you." The red rose has long symbolized beauty and perfection. A bouquet of red roses is the perfect way to express your deep feelings for someone special. Read More – Meaning of Red Roses

Pink

As a symbol of grace and elegance, the pink rose is often given as an expression of admiration. Pink roses can also convey appreciation as well as joyfulness. Pink rose bouquets often impart a gentler meaning than their red counterparts. Read More – Meaning of Pink Roses

Yellow

The bright, sunny color of yellow roses evokes a feeling of warmth and happiness. The warm feelings associated with the yellow rose are often akin to those shared with a true friend. As such, the yellow rose is an ideal symbol for joy and friendship. Read More – Meaning of Yellow Roses

White

White roses represent innocence and purity and are traditionally associated with marriages and new beginnings. The white rose is also a symbol of honor and reverence, and white rose arrangements are often used as an expression of remembrance. Read More – Meaning of Orange Roses

Orange

With their blazing energy, orange roses are the embodiment of desire and enthusiasm. Orange roses often symbolize passion and excitement and are an expression of fervent romance. A bouquet of orange roses will send a meaningful message. Read More – Meaning of Orange Roses

Lavender

The unique beauty of the lavender rose has captured many hearts and imaginations. With their fantastical appearance, lavender roses are a perfect symbol of enchantment. The lavender rose is also traditionally used to express feelings of love at first sight. Read More – Meaning of Lavender Roses

First mistake was right there. Under NO circumstances should you EVER give a chick red roses on a first date. It comes on WAY too strong and is something you give once you are in a committed relationship. Period end of sentence. 

<tangent> This goes for gifts in general, btw. Remember the time I got a David Yurman necklace and two dozen white roses? Creeped me the freakedy freak freak OUT!!!! </tangent>

Also, you introduced her to your brother? If I'm on a first date and see a friend I MIIIGGHHTT go over and say hey, but family? OH HECK NO!!! Family doesn't get to meet ANYONE you are dating until it is getting on the "serious" side. 

You then kissed, held hands, and hugged????!!!! First date?!?!?!?!!!!!!!! 

Now, after all of this, you're pissed that she wants to spend more time with you and have sex already?!?!? Could you have sent her ANY MORE mixed signals? You made this bed, now you have to lie in it. 

Alrite, some advice ... 

1) If you're just looking to hook up with chicks take them out to a bar, buy them a couple of drinks and keep it casual. When you have "grand gestured" dates like this you're setting a false impression in a girl's mind. If either party is looking to just hook up you just arrange to meet at a bar and see if there is chemistry. You have to follow the k.i.s.s. mentality in that regard of "keep it simple stupid." Anything above and beyond is going to set a false expectation in the girl's mind and no doubt you're going to end up hurting her. 

2) No flowers, no gifts, NOTHING in initial courtship. Give it at least 3 dates before you start down that path. Again, you're just getting to know each other at that point and gifts can send the wrong message, or in my case, can offend someone. 

3) Do NOT get the family involved until you understand how you feel about the girl. Having a girl meet your family (even in a super casual way) is going to cause great confusion. Bringing in the friends and family is a cue of emotional investment. Until you understand your feelings for this person it sets, again, a false expectation. 

4) Figure out what you want. I give dudes that come straight and say they just wanna hook up a lot of credit on dating sites. I am personally way past that stage in my life now, but I'll always write back giving props at the honesty. You never know what stage a woman is going to be at in her life, but by you stating your intentions in a clear manner it won't set the false expectations you are currently showcasing for these women.

Figure out what you want, articulate it in your first few messages to these women, and again keep it simple stupid. Quit with the over the top dates until you find one that you really like. 

Thanks for reading hope this helps!! xoxo

Got a question? Drop me an email! JenFriel at TalkNerdyToMeLover dot com

ORRRRR you can message me on Facebook and if it's within 140 characters on the twitter!

Best of luck out there nerds!!

xoxo <3 @JenFriel

#NerdsUnite: Ask That Nerdy Chick (how do you know when to end a date?)

It is my goal for 2013 to take a lot of my weird and wonky experiences as a lifecaster and help nerdy peeps out by providing a frank (not shirley) and honest answer to some weird and potentially random questions you may have about life. 

Here is a question I got on Facebook this morning ... 

First of all, thanks for reading and thanks for reaching out. 

Secondly, the "leave" is kinda dependent upon the situation. There really is no cut and dry on this. 

Is this a first date? 

If so, for first dates I schedule them at a bar and after about two drinks (you want to get loose and open but not be drunk) I will call it an evening. 

IF, however, I am super into the guy, instead of calling it a night I will suggest a change of location. You never want to be "stagnant" on a first date. When you're first getting to know someone there are only so many things you can ask them (as you want to maintain surface level conversation. NEVER EVER get into politics, religion, or anything negative.). Creating a change of scenery will give you more of an organic refresh on the conversation and keep things fun and upbeat. Anytime I pick a bar for a first date, I will also make sure there are cool "plan b and c" bars nearby for alternative points of discussion. 

(That approach also only works if you don't have to be up early the next morning.)

There's nothing wrong with being honest with a guy and saying that you had a great time but you have other commitments you need to attend to. If anything, he'll respect your maturity in handling your commitments. 

If the guy pays I will ALWAYS follow up the next day with a text saying thank you for dinner, drinks, etc. and at that point you have an "in" in also suggesting that you'd like to see that person again. 

Ex text: I had a really great time last night. Thanks again so much for dinner and drinks. I'd love to do it again soon. =) 

(I personally include a lot of smiley faces in my text messages. I own the fact that I am a girl.) 

If we're talking second or third date here, then that's a horse of a different color. On the second date I will let him drop me off at home, and even walk me up for a good night kiss. (Always make sure you meet a guy at the bar or wherever for your first date, but on the second date he needs to pick you up and drop you off. Set the boundaries on what you expect from a guy regarding courtship and he will respond. If a guy gets snotty about picking you up at least you know now how dating him would be.) Third date or longer, if I'm wanting to date him seriously I will sleep with him. 

As far as telling if he's into you, here's a trick I use: 

If we are sitting on bar stools I will sometimes arch my back slightly forcing him to lean into me to hear what I am saying. If he is just "being polite" and shaking and nodding his head not actively listening he won't notice that I did it. If he is listening, (and especially since most bars are loud) he will have to lean in. The fact that the dude is listening to you is a very, very clear sign that he is into you. 

Validate his listening with you touching your hair. Every guy ever takes that as a sign that you are also into him and that mutual reciprocation will boost his confidence. 

Thanks for reading hope this helps!! xoxo

Got a question? Drop me an email! JenFriel at TalkNerdyToMeLover dot com

ORRRRR you can message me on Facebook and if it's within 140 characters on the twitter!

Best of luck out there nerds!!

xoxo <3 @JenFriel

 Oh yeah and ... 

click the screenshot to comment on Facebook

#NerdsUnite: Ask That Nerdy Chick (I want one thing and my parents want another)

It is my goal for 2013 to take a lot of my weird and wonky experiences as a lifecaster and help nerdy peeps out by providing a frank (not shirley) and honest answer to some weird and potentially random questions you may have about life. 

Here is an email I just got on Facebook ... 

First of all, thanks for reading and thanks for reaching out. 

Secondly, you think you can predict your life at this point? CHIILLLLLDDD, I'm 10 years your senior and I'm still terribly confused with what the heck I'm doing. Even WITH my own business and my own brand. 

Your teen years are hard. Period end of sentence. Even though you are 18, legally an adult, and physically outside of your parent's household, you are still emotionally very intertwined. 

Your parents will ALWAYS want what they THINK is best for their daughter, or their son - but who are you? That is the only thing in life you ever have to solve for. It's terribly difficult breaking free from that and becoming your own person, but remember, it is all a step by step process. (And a jug of water gets filled one drop at a time.) I completely lucked out with having parents that apparently knew from when I was just a few days old that "this one was different." (I have an older brother who was apparently quite the good baby. I, on the other hand, was a terror from the womb.) My parents embraced my weirdness and told me that with hard work and my mind set to something I could accomplish ANYTHING. (Mother and father, you were both very right.) 

As far as ambition goes? I've had a series of trials and errors. My resume reads like the most random series of events and adventures one could possibly imagine. I've never been normal, and I've never done ANYTHING by the book. What I had to do was figure out my own way, not be afraid of being a leader, and WRITE my own damn book. (Shit there goes $10 more dollars into the charity donation.) 

You have to find you. All of the questions about life that you could ever have the answer to are already inside of you. I found that Buddhism worked very well for me as far as "showing me a road map" was concerned, but whatever that means for you, you have to trust your gut and know you will find your way. Confidence comes from successes and failures. Maybe school isn't for you, or maybe you should be pursuing another field. Hold your parents in a place of unconditional love and tell them you need to figure this out for yourself. I promise you, one day they will understand. 

Thanks for reading and pls keep me posted!! xoxo

Got a question? Drop me an email! JenFriel at TalkNerdyToMeLover dot com

ORRRRR you can message me on Facebook and if it's within 140 characters on the twitter!

Best of luck out there nerds!!

xoxo <3 @JenFriel

#NerdsUnite: Ask That Nerdy Chick (I kissed a co-worker on NYE. Now what?)

It is my goal to take a lot of my weird and wonky experiences as a lifecaster and help nerdy peeps out by providing a frank (not shirley) and honest answer to some weird and potentially random questions you may have about life. 

Here is a question I got via email the other day ... 

aaahhhhh!!! The awkward drunken co-work hook up. 

First of all, thanks for reading and thanks for reaching out. Super brave to put yourself out there. 

I worked 9-5s for years and I pretty much made it a rule to never date a co-worker. It's too incestuous and you spend too much time in an intimate setting. Obvi sexual tension and chemistry can't be denied - but it HAS TO HAS TO HAS TO stop at just a friendly flirtation. 

Now that you've gone over the line though, what are your options? 

1) I would be super frank with her. Ask her to coffee (something neutral and no alcohol involved) and say hey, I had so much fun on New Years, thanks again for the hospitality but just wanted to clear the air on something ... 

2) Then, blame it on "where you are in your life." No chick ever wants to hear that she's not your type. Since you work with this person brutal honesty isn't going to fly, so you're going to have to sugar coat it to preserve the relationship. I would say something like, "you're really wonderful and I hope this doesn't affect our friendship. It means a lot to me so thats why I wanted to take this time to clear all this up." As long as you say it with a genuine heart, she's going to believe it and it's not going to be cheesy. (And you SHOULD be genuine and grateful. Dude, you stuck your penis inside of her vagina!!) 

Be super kind, loving, and gentle to her. 

Also, download the app Taxi Magic or put the number for a local taxi cab company in your phone. This will keep you out of trouble next time. 

Got a question? Drop me an email! JenFriel at TalkNerdyToMeLover dot com

ORRRRR you can message me on Facebook and if it's within 140 characters on the twitter!

Best of luck out there nerds!!

xoxo <3 @JenFriel