#NerdsUnite: Adventures in Randomness and Rock & Roll w @leah_cevoli
Thursday, February 7, 2013 at 3:00PM<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Leah. She's pretty rad and has an INCREDIBLY random life. Like, no - for reals ... did you know she has an obsession with vampires, psychics, and tarot card readers ... and she had more sex as a teenager than in her 30s ... anddddd she even had two ex boyfriends die violently - one from a heroin overdose, and the other was murdered. Holy moly roli poli oli - that shit be cray cray. Either way, she's now here to write about her life, love, and all things nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT LEAH!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Leah_Cevoli
So last week, I mentioned that a guy on my facebook page (who was actually someone I dated briefly about 20 years ago), struck up a conversation about “slut-shaming” based on a status I posted because he assumed it to mean I had had a one-night stand with someone I didn’t know and then got burned. (In reality this was a long-term, 7 months, friends w/benefit situation that had out-grown its good times).
But last week, I did sleep with a stranger.
I was working at the Philadelphia Auto Show, and every day I had lunch at a different stand at the Reading Terminal Market. There was a good vibe there, and I even jokingly commented on FB that it felt like a good place to “meet a husband.” Lo and Behold my 3rd day of having lunch there, the guy behind the counter at the Falafel place struck up a conversation. At first I was annoyed, as my one hour lunch break was the only chance all day long to catch up on emails and phone-calls, but he wasn’t going away. He continued to talk to me, and flirt, even though the woman behind the counter (who was obviously his mother), looked a bit annoyed that he was flirting instead of helping her close up as it was closing time.
We chatted for about 20 minutes, while they closed up and once Mom was out of ear-shot, he asked if he could have my number to take me out sometime. I laughed, that I was too old for him, and he instantly put me in my place, by saying, “I can’t believe you pulled the age card on me!” I apologized, and we exchanged ages (10 yrs difference- on the border, but I’ll consider a 10year age gap younger or older), and phone numbers.
We made plans for four days later, and he checked in daily, asking how my day was going. We texted a few times a day that week. The day of our “date”, I asked if we could reschedule as I was just finishing up a long work week at the tradeshow and was very tired. He was cool with that. We hadn’t exchanged last names, and all that he knew about me was that I was travelling a lot, working tradeshows but primarily was an actress in LA. He texted me the night before and said he was excited to see some of my acting work. I joked and said, yeah, without my last name, you can’t Google me. He tried to persuade me to give this info, and I said we’re going to hang out tomorrow, we can chat in person.
The night of our rescheduled date night, at the last minute, like literally 7:00 night, I asked if he could drive out to the suburbs (where I’m staying with family), and pick me up as I was just not in the mood to drive. He agreed.
As simple as this sounds, these were all super good points for me. My dating life has been virtually non-existent for about 5 years now, and lately the dudes I meet on OKCupid, don’t have cars, are inflexible, and don’t seem to want to go out of their way at all for the gal.
Come on guys, chivalry is NOT dead, it’s actually very, very attractive!
So he picks me up, and right away he says something that alerts me to the fact that he has Googled me! I question this, and he explained that he simply typed in Leah, Actress, Los Angeles, Philly, and presto, he didn’t need my last name at all.
Now I normally, don’t care AT ALL, about this, but for once I just wanted to hang out with someone and NOT talk about Hollywood, my career, celebrities I’ve met or worked with, and my whole gypsy mode existence now, trying to figure it all out. I just wanted to have a casual fun night.
So I spent about 10 minutes, giving him the run-down, because of course, as any human outside of Hollywood is apt to do, they want to know about the “exciting” stuff, but I have to say, he was totally fine with a quick explanation, and even joked that he was “famous” as he’s appeared on The Food Network. Okay, cool. No more “Hollywood” talk.
We then discovered a mutual love for medicinal marijuana, and things were back to feeling great. Originally we had planned a night of arcade games and pool, but he suggested he had movies and wine back at his house, and to be honest, I was feeling very low-key so we went back to his house.
As he was pouring wine into my glass, he stopped and started kissing me, before my jacket was even off, and it was like, woah, all systems go. Over the course of the next 4 hours or so, I tried to keep things PG-13, but it was like, give him an inch he took four or five, and each move felt better than the last. There was no denying that we had extreme physical chemistry (way more so than guy in LA), and probably the strongest chemistry I’ve felt in about 2 years or so. Normally, my clothes do not come off on a first date, maybe in my 20’s but definitely not these days… it’s just a no-no. It NEVER works out, it just doesn’t. There is truth to the saying that a girl that makes a guy wait, is more likely to get the guy.
But did I really want this guy, or did I just want to feel good? After all, he’s 10 years younger, firmly planted in Philadelphia, and I’m such a gypsy right now, with a life and career elsewhere. The long-term potential is possible but not probable.
So I gave in… and it was phenomenal. Seriously. Both of us just, wow. It was hard to pry ourselves out of each other’s arms, for the drive home, but he had promised to take me home and he did.
The next morning, I got a couple of nice text messages but a day later, the texts stopped. I had asked him if he wanted to do something over the weekend, and haven’t heard back in 3 days. And I can’t help thinking about the whole “slut-shaming” conversation from last week.
Why am I questioning what I did? I’m an adult. I’m single. We were safe. And I had FUN! It felt GOOD! And now, just because the dude doesn’t appear interested in furthering this relationship, why am I questioning myself, my actions, and my morality?
I doubt he’s questioning any of the above?
I’m in my 30’s and have been relatively single, with a short-termer here and there for 7+ years. I deserve to have a sex life.
So what is it about us women, that makes us feel this way? To question or beat ourselves up about it?
I truly had a good time, and believed him when he said he wanted to see me again soon. I had no vibe at all that this was a one-night thing?
Even though I know, that any time you sleep with a guy on the first date, it never, ever, ever, lasts!
Has anyone had a different experience? Are you able to have casual sex, and not stress about it later? Did you sleep with someone on date number one, and are now happily married? I’d love to hear from you!
Reader Comments (2)
Telltale sign: the good ones send a bouquet of flowers afterwards -- even if it's a virtual bouquet.
LOL... well he did text the next morning, but then stopped responding soon afterward...
Oh well..