#NerdsUnite: Adventures in Randomness and Rock & Roll w @leah_cevoli

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Leah. She's pretty rad and has an INCREDIBLY random life. Like, no - for reals ... did you know she has an obsession with vampires, psychics, and tarot card readers ... and she had more sex as a teenager than in her 30s ... anddddd she even had two ex boyfriends die violently - one from a heroin overdose, and the other was murdered. Holy moly roli poli oli - that shit be cray cray. Either way, she's now here to write about her life, love, and all things nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT LEAH!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Leah_Cevoli

So last week, I mentioned that a guy on my facebook page (who was actually someone I dated briefly about 20 years ago), struck up a conversation about “slut-shaming” based on a status I posted because he assumed it to mean I had had a one-night stand with someone I didn’t know and then got burned. (In reality this was a long-term, 7 months, friends w/benefit situation that had out-grown its good times).

But last week, I did sleep with a stranger. 

I was working at the Philadelphia Auto Show, and every day I had lunch at a different stand at the Reading Terminal Market.  There was a good vibe there, and I even jokingly commented on FB that it felt like a good place to “meet a husband.”   Lo and Behold my 3^rd day of having lunch there, the guy behind the counter at the Falafel place struck up a conversation.  At first I was annoyed, as my one hour lunch break was the only chance all day long to catch up on emails and phone-calls, but he wasn’t going away.  He continued to talk to me, and flirt, even though the woman behind the counter (who was obviously his mother), looked a bit annoyed that he was flirting instead of helping her close up as it was closing time.

We chatted for about 20 minutes, while they closed up and once Mom was out of ear-shot, he asked if he could have my number to take me out sometime.  I laughed, that I was too old for him, and he instantly put me in my place, by saying, “I can’t believe you pulled the age card on me!”  I apologized, and we exchanged ages (10 yrs difference- on the border, but I’ll consider a 10year age gap younger or older), and phone numbers.

We made plans for four days later, and he checked in daily, asking how my day was going. We texted a few times a day that week. The day of our “date”, I asked if we could reschedule as I was just finishing up a long work week at the tradeshow and was very tired. He was cool with that.  We hadn’t exchanged last names, and all that he knew about me was that I was travelling a lot, working tradeshows but primarily was an actress in LA.  He texted me the night before and said he was excited to see some of my acting work. I joked and said, yeah, without my last name, you can’t Google me. He tried to persuade me to give this info, and I said we’re going to hang out tomorrow, we can chat in person.

The night of our rescheduled date night, at the last minute, like literally 7:00 night,  I asked if he could drive out to the suburbs (where I’m staying with family), and pick me up as I was just not in the mood to drive. He agreed.  

As simple as this sounds, these were all super good points for me. My dating life has been virtually non-existent for about 5 years now, and lately the dudes I meet on OKCupid, don’t have cars, are inflexible, and don’t seem to want to go out of their way at all for the gal. 

Come on guys, chivalry is NOT dead, it’s actually very, very attractive!

So he picks me up, and right away he says something that alerts me to the fact that he has Googled me!  I question this, and he explained that he simply typed in Leah, Actress, Los Angeles, Philly, and presto, he didn’t need my last name at all.

Now I normally, don’t care AT ALL, about this, but for once I just wanted to hang out with someone and NOT talk about Hollywood, my career, celebrities I’ve met or worked with, and my whole gypsy mode existence now, trying to figure it all out.  I just wanted to have a casual fun night.

So I spent about 10 minutes, giving him the run-down, because of course, as any human outside of Hollywood is apt to do, they want to know about the “exciting” stuff, but I have to say, he was totally fine with a quick explanation, and even joked that he was “famous” as he’s appeared on The Food Network.   Okay, cool.  No more “Hollywood” talk.

We then discovered a mutual love for medicinal marijuana, and things were back to feeling great.  Originally we had planned a night of arcade games and pool, but he suggested he had movies and wine back at his house, and to be honest, I was feeling very low-key so we went back to his house.

As he was pouring wine into my glass, he stopped and started kissing me, before my jacket was even off, and it was like, woah, all systems go.   Over the course of the next 4 hours or so, I tried to keep things PG-13, but it was like, give him an inch he took four or five, and each move felt better than the last. There was no denying that we had extreme physical chemistry (way more so than guy in LA), and probably the strongest chemistry I’ve felt in about 2 years or so.   Normally, my clothes do not come off on a first date, maybe in my 20’s but definitely not these days… it’s just a no-no. It NEVER works out, it just doesn’t.  There is truth to the saying that a girl that makes a guy wait, is more likely to get the guy.

But did I really want this guy, or did I just want to feel good? After all, he’s 10 years younger, firmly planted in Philadelphia, and I’m such a gypsy right now, with a life and career elsewhere. The long-term potential is possible but not probable.

So I gave in… and it was phenomenal. Seriously. Both of us just, wow. It was hard to pry ourselves out of each other’s arms, for the drive home, but he had promised to take me home and he did.

The next morning, I got a couple of nice text messages but a day later, the texts stopped.  I had asked him if he wanted to do something over the weekend, and haven’t heard back in 3 days. And I can’t help thinking about the whole “slut-shaming” conversation from last week.

Why am I questioning what I did?  I’m an adult. I’m single. We were safe. And I had FUN!  It felt GOOD!  And now, just because the dude doesn’t appear interested in furthering this relationship, why am I questioning myself, my actions, and my morality?

I doubt he’s questioning any of the above?

I’m in my 30’s and have been relatively single, with a short-termer here and there for 7+ years.  I deserve to have a sex life.

So what is it about us women, that makes us feel this way?  To question or beat ourselves up about it?

I truly had a good time, and believed him when he said he wanted to see me again soon.  I had no vibe at all that this was a one-night thing?

Even though I know, that any time you sleep with a guy on the first date, it never, ever, ever, lasts!

Has anyone had a different experience? Are you able to have casual sex, and not stress about it later? Did you sleep with someone on date number one, and are now happily married?  I’d love to hear from you!

Live Love. Love Life.

#xoxo

click here to follow Leah on twitter!

#Adventures in Randomness and Rock & Roll w @leah_cevoli

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Leah. She's pretty rad and has an INCREDIBLY random life. Like, no - for reals ... did you know she has an obsession with vampires, psychics, and tarot card readers ... and she had more sex as a teenager than in her 30s ... anddddd she even had two ex boyfriends die violently - one from a heroin overdose, and the other was murdered. Holy moly roli poli oli - that shit be cray cray. Either way, she's now here to write about her life, love, and all things nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT LEAH!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Leah_Cevoli

Last week I put a facebook status up that read:

“Gentlemen, there's a way to have "sleepovers" with a friend and keep things cool and respectful, and then there's a way to be a complete douche. #IfTheShoeFitsWearIt Namaste.”  

Now, most of my friends just clicked like, or said Amen or something to that sort.  Those that really know me know that I’ll never dish details on Facebook, but I will certainly say enough so that the parties involved know what I’m talking about.  In this particular case, there’s a guy I’ve been “seeing” for lack of a better word since about July.  By seeing, I mean we’ve had about ½ a dozen sleepovers in the summertime before I started travelling.  It was always a very nice sleepover usually involving him cooking dinner and breakfast as well, but we’ve never done much hanging out in public, and when we do it’s casual, with mutual friends, who may or may not know about our sleepovers. I’ve been out of town for about 7 months, and haven’t heard much from him until Christmas. He reached out to me and we had a really nice text conversation on Xmas evening. 

A few weeks ago, I was in LA for 4 days, and we both made it a priority to see each other. He picked me up in the part of town that I was staying in and we had dinner and caught up.  During dinner, he told me that even though he hasn’t been in touch, or rarely ever comments online or even clicks like, that he has in fact been following much of my journey, and gave examples to show that it was true.  It was nice to know that he’d been paying attention, but there’s just something about a simple “like” that shows ya, “Hey, I’m here,” you know what I mean?   Anyways after dinner, I was set to be dropped off, and he suggested it’d be nice for me to grab my car and come back down to his neck of the woods, and he’d make breakfast in the morning. So I did.

It’s been about 3 weeks, and I haven’t heard a word from him, as is usual. But last week, I noticed that he was in NEW YORK!  You know NEW YORK, a city I’m in A LOT these days, a city that’s a $10 bus ride for me from Philly… not only did he not mention a single word about this visit to NY from LA, but there were multiple posts tagged, blogs, videos, and photos of himself with a girl. Now, you see, it’s not the photos with the girl that bothered me, because we are not an official couple, what bothered me is that well A) he didn’t even mention the trip when I was at his house the week before, and B) I began to notice that he never ever accepts any tags that I put up with photos of us, and he’s never ever shared my blogs or videos, even the ones that have included him in them! And here's a girl in NY that seems to do a lot of the same things that I do as far as blogging and vlogging, and he's pimping her shit like crazy!

I don’t need to be the only women in your life, but show me the same respect and friendship that you show others.  And it’s not that, he doesn’t have TONS of female friends, and travels to conventions and takes pix with TONS of beautiful girls, cause he does. So exactly what would one or two photos with me, popping up once in awhile show?  Nothing really, it would just look like another female friend… so why does it seem like I’m the only one that gets shut out?  A simple. “He’s just not that into you.” Right, but more so. He’s being a total douche and inconsiderate of someone that was a friend and could still be a friend with or without the sleepovers, and is now pretty pissed off about it all.  

Now, a very interesting thing happened when I put up that status. “Gentlemen, there's a way to have "sleepovers" with a friend and keep things cool and respectful, and then there's a way to be a complete douche. #IfTheShoeFitsWearIt Namaste.”   A few dudes chimed in seeming to assume that I had slept with someone the night before, sort of a one-night stand and was now being ignored or something.  One dude even went so far as to talk about slut-shaming, and how it’s a shame that if a girl wants to “lead that life-style” guys will talk about her behind her back but a guy gets congratulated for it. I explained to this guy that although I may have hung out with that type of guy as a teenager (him included), I don’t have that sort of man in my life anymore, and would never consider spending any time with a man that uses the word slut freely to describe a woman who has mature, consenting, adult sex.  He went on to basically say, well that’s nice that you can live that “lifestyle”, but it probably happens behind your back and you don’t know it. 

Woah. Woah. Woah!

I then explained to him that I’m not sure what “lifestyle” he’s talking about, but that I can count the number of sexual partners I've had in the last decade or so on ONE hand… but still, I’m an independent woman who can choose to be intimate with who and when I want.

And guess what he said to that?  “Oh wow, sounds like you need some good man time!”

WHAT?!

Five seconds before he was basically telling me that I was a slut, and upon hearing the truth of my frequency of sexual encounters, he then basically told me I needed to get some.

Dear Universe- I would like to meet my other half. Someone equivalent and complimentary to me for adventures, fun times, stimulating conversations, creative endeavors, and lots and lots of good sex.

Thank you.

Live Love. Love Life.

#xoxo

click here to follow Leah on twitter!

#Adventures in Randomness and Rock & Roll w @leah_cevoli (an identity crisis)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Leah. She's pretty rad and has an INCREDIBLY random life. Like, no - for reals ... did you know she has an obsession with vampires, psychics, and tarot card readers ... and she had more sex as a teenager than in her 30s ... anddddd she even had two ex boyfriends die violently - one from a heroin overdose, and the other was murdered. Holy moly roli poli oli - that shit be cray cray. Either way, she's now here to write about her life, love, and all things nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT LEAH!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Leah_Cevoli

For some time now, I’ve been feeling like I’m having an Identity Crisis. Like, I don’t know where I belong, or who my friends are, or what groups I should join. I know that must sound really strange coming from a 30-something year old woman, who is “supposed” to know exactly who she is by now.

I think it really started to come to light for me last fall. I was gearing up for a lead role in a Star Wars fan film web-series, I was featured as a “Geek of The Week” in the very popular, Geekadelphia Blog, and then I was invited to speak on a panel at Comikaze Expo.

At first, the theme was women who produce their own web-content, but as the group formed, it became very Geek Girl oriented, and I started to wonder, wait, how did I end up here? Everyone knows I’m a rocker-hippie chick, do I really fit in with these girls? What if they start quizzing each other on Lord of the Rings and Joss Whedon knowledge?! I tossed and turned all night before that first panel, and even brought it up the next day on the panel how do I, Leah Cevoli, this hippie-rocker-wild-child fit into this world of Geekdom?

The freakin’ wonderful actress/producer Stephanie Thorpe (who I was meeting for the first time), put it this way… she said “Leah, do you geek out over your 80s rockers” and well, we all know the answer to that, “Yes, of course”, I gushed, and excitedly started ranting about rock n rollers… The way Steph, and the rest of the girls on that panel, whom I got to know pretty well over the course of the next few months and other speaking engagements, put it was that the world of Geekdom revolved around having SUPER INTENSE passions about specific things.

Okay, I guess I am a little geeky. And, well I did work on the first 4 episodes of Robot Chicken, and that’s definitely geeky.

And then in January, I began writing for Jen Friel’s very popular blog, Talk Nerdy To Me, Lover and my first assignment was to write a blog about what makes me a Nerd. I struggled with that for a minute, but being someone that had straight A’s all through school, loves trivia and mental challenges, loves to read, loves to write, and corny or not wore glasses all her life, that blog, once I embraced all of those facets, came easy.

Wow, okay, I guess I am kinda a nerd.

And yeah, I’m definitely a dork. Always have been, always will be.

I soon discovered that I do have more passions that I’ve forgotten about like old school video games, dressing up in costumes, amusement parks, roller skating, old school cartoons… and the Geek Community to me, is more about embracing your inner child and retaining those passions…. Okay great, sign me up!

So I began spending more time with the geek crowd, and the nerd crowd, after all, rock n roll has led me down many roads of hell and heartbreak, and lately I’m not resonating with my favorite song lyrics, and the messages that most rock songs have. I’m not resonating with the bars and the drinking and the drugs that, unfortunately are an intrinsic part of the rock and roll scene, and maybe I wasn’t being true to myself all along and here I should have been spending more time with the Geeky folk… who knows?

I started to feel like I had found my tribe. That I had found a great group of new friends, and a support system but that feeling only lasted for a few months.

I soon found myself having to explain to random people what my “geek cred?” was. Weird I thought, I’ve never had to explain my rock n roll cred? And then suddenly I found myself on the receiving end of a few girls who decided I was no longer welcome in their geek circle, and began “competing” for friends, name-calling, and gossiping, and one of these girls actually, physically, emailed mutual friends, and even a guy I was dating at the time, basically just to make sure that they all knew I no longer had her stamp of approval. A press release if you will, alerting them to this breaking news. I have no idea how many of these emails were sent of course, because only a few people shared this info with me. And believe it or not, she’s in her 30’s too.

The email to the dude I was dating, really hurt. As many of you know, I’ve been single for a LONG time, and I finally met a guy who I liked and who seemed to like me back, and for someone, a “friend” even, to try to cause drama with a brand new relationship, yeah, I cried.

Now, I’m in NO WAY saying that everyone in the geek community behaves like that, because they DON’T. I have made amazing, life-long friends in that community. I’m also NOT saying that everyone in rock n roll is an alcoholic or a drug addict, because they’re NOT, and my heart will always be filled with rock n roll. BUT as much as I LOVE me a good rock n roll concert, you’ll rarely find me at a local sunset rock bar getting wasted. And as much as I LOVE me a good comic con, you’ll rarely find me blogging about Dr. Who or Star Trek.

What I AM saying is that I don’t know where I fit in. I don’t feel like I’ve truly found my tribe yet.

That’s not to say that I don’t ADORE and have amazing friends in both the rock and the geek communities… or that I don’t adore hosting a rock concert, or working on geeky film and tv projects, because I absolutely DO… but something inside me is saying, there’s something else, there’s some other identity that’s trying to come forth.

And I think it’s great that I’ve gotten in touch with my inner geek and my inner nerdy girl, but there’s more, there’s more, there’s another calling, there’s people out there who I will feel at home with, who will want to support and lift me up, and travel the road together. Not as competition but as a team.

And it all goes back to this.

When I was a little girl, the thing I wanted to be most in the world was a PRIEST.

Yes, a freakin Roman Catholic Priest.

We lived on the same city block as the Catholic School and Church, so as a child I would sometimes go and sit thru two and three masses at a time. I sang in the church choir, I had a solo during my first Holy Communion, and get this, in first grade I was so curious as to what the Communion line was, I got in it, and the priest gave me a wafer when I was 6yrs old. (For those of you non-never were Catholics, that’s like an mortal sin, you’re not allowed to taste the “body of Christ” until you make your first communion, which is a big ceremony that happens in the 3rd Grade).

My very first speaking engagement was in the first grade. The school was having a large celebration and our assignment was to write a paper on a Saint of our choosing. My essay was chosen, I was to read it out loud in front of the school, my speech was about St. Maria Goretti who believe it or not, I’ve remembered her name all these years, but only now, like right this second, did I look her up to see what her story was and holy hell…Maria is the patron saint of chastity, rape victims, girls, youth, teenage girls, poverty, purity and forgiveness. And was murdered at age 11 by her neighbor because she fought back against his attempted raping.

Wow wow wow, all these years, I’ve known the name of the Saint I gave a speech on, but never once have I researched her again, and at age 6, I have a feeling the children’s book of Saints described her a bit different then that wiki description. If I had to answer I would have never said she was the patron saint of kids and animals not on rape, poverty, and forgiveness.

This is so on target with how I’m feeling and what I’m about to say next…

I am a performer. I am a public speaker, an actress, and a host. These things I know. I know how my heart fills up when I’m doing any one of these things, BUT, I am here to do more than that, and that’s where the Identity Crisis starts to get really noisy.

Somehow, I want to incorporate the “performer life” with the giving back and being of service and particularly working with young teens, runaways, abuse, depression, suicide, and even rape. I want to be able to give hope and inspiration to everyone of course, but particularly this group of teenagers.

I’ve been saddened by the news lately, the suicide of young Amanda Todd after posting a video cry for help on Youtube and then taking her life a month later, and 15 year old Felicia Garcia who threw herself onto train tracks in front of classmates after being bullied by the football team.

These things MAKE ME WANT TO HELP! And I will, my good friend Denise Vasquez and I are already planning a fundraiser in the Spring to bring awareness to bullying and suicide prevention. But I want to do more.

And that brings me to the Power Group.

Mastin Kipp, Gabby Bernstein, Christina Morassi, Marie Forleo, Laura Hollick

I first became aware of Laura Hollick through Dallas Travers, In 2010/2011 Laura launched Soul Art TV where she interviewed many of these new age speakers and mentors, and though them I’ve found the others, I’ve been reading their blogs and watching their videos for about a year or so now, and I want to be in that circle. I want to travel and inspire people everywhere I go. I want to hang out with Oprah and not just dream about making changes in the world, but really truly BE THE CHANGE.

Mastin Kipp wrote this incredible blog recently and after reading it, I shouted out loud, I WANT TO WRITE BLOGS LIKE THIS! I want to be that passionate and inspired about my life and career.

Okay so now what?

I’m tuning in. I’m paying attention. I’m actively focused on meditating regularly, getting my yoga and my fitness in. Studying what these people are doing. Absorbing their work and their message, in order to fully realize my message cause I’m not exactly sure what I need to do next.

But damn, if Googling Maria Goretti wasn’t a sign… whew..

And I guess the whole point is that each one of us are so much more than just a label. A rocker chick. A geek girl. A hippie. A goth. A nerd. These are labels that maybe others give us or we give ourselves, and it’s a great thing to EMBRACE the parts of your soul that resonate with each of those “archetypes”… but we as humans are so much more than one or two labels. We are souls, having a human experience. We have so much power inside of us.

I’ve got a lot of work to do… but in my heart, I know I’ve got what it takes.

Live Love. Love Life.

#xoxo

click here to follow Leah on twitter!

#Adventures in Randomness and Rock & Roll w @leah_cevoli

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Leah. She's pretty rad and has an INCREDIBLY random life. Like, no - for reals ... did you know she has an obsession with vampires, psychics, and tarot card readers ... and she had more sex as a teenager than in her 30s ... anddddd she even had two ex boyfriends die violently - one from a heroin overdose, and the other was murdered. Holy moly roli poli oli - that shit be cray cray. Either way, she's now here to write about her life, love, and all things nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT LEAH!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Leah_Cevoli

As an East Coaster, I love New York City.  Or should I say, I love visiting New York City.  I have a ton of really great girlfriends there, and the energy is just so freakin’ intense.  It’s like LA on speed.  But as such, people are usually in a big hurry, and hence I like the pace of LA a bit better (AND the weather!), so I don’t think I would ever live in New York, unless of course I fell in love, and/or booked a gig there.  I always say; for love or money, I’d live anywhere.
 
But I digress…
 
It’s been about 6 months since my last visit to New York, and being on the east coast this whole time, and not visiting due to my hectic schedule as a tour manager for a promo gig, has been really getting to me!  I was long overdue for the bright lights and big city!

This trip was based around New York Comic Con. Funny enough, I have never been to NYCC.  I know, crazy, you say! Especially since I love, love, love San Diego Comic Con and this is her li’l brother right in my backyard.
 
I submitted the proper credentials a few months ago, and was hoping to be assigned onto a panel or land an appearance or two, but alas it was not meant to be.  I was approved for my pro credentials and that was that… so I decided to just make this a total play-date.  No real work involved, nowhere I *had* to be, it was all about enjoying myself, and spending time with friends old and new, and of course promoting the awesome new Science Fiction franchise, Space Command, that I am associate producing.
 
Lately, whenever I’m in NYC, I stay with my long-time friend Jaimie.  She’s a non-con, non-industry friend, and so it was really funny when I mentioned why I was coming to visit.  She says, “Yeah, I’ve been seeing Batman and Spiderman walking down the streets, and then I remembered it was New York Comic Con.”  As luck would have it, Jaimie’s gorgeous penthouse apartment, overlooks the Javits center, the hub of all things Comic Con, making my commute, rather awesome.
 
Plans changed a little, and I arrived late Friday night, and hung out with Jaimie and rested up for a full Saturday at the Con.
 
Saturday arrived and my agenda was pretty light; mostly consisting of meeting up with friends at booths and/or meeting new friends.
 
First on the list was meeting up with my friend Alan Kistler, who if you don’t already know, is quite amazing.  He’s the author of the UnOfficial Game of Thrones Cookbook, as well as recently published Batman and Spiderman trivia book. Alan and I first met in Anaheim, CA, where he moderated a panel that I was a featured guest on at WonderCon. We’ve since become good friends, and always, always meet up when we’re in the same cities.  We met up at the Dracula panel, moderated by none other than Bram Stoker’s great-great-grand-nephew, Dacre Stoker (author of Dracula The UnDead).

And then it was off to find my very good friend, and freakin’ beyond talented artist, Randy Martinez.  See, Randy has recently become an official Marvel artist, and his original Spiderman painting (autographed by Randy AND Stan Lee) was up for sale. (It sold on day one!)  So very proud of Randy!  Check out his work at www.RandyMartinez.com

A pleasant surprise was that my longtime girlfriend and one of my BFF’s Tina Norris, was also at New York Comic Con.   I don’t usually associate Tina with the Geekdom world, she’s one of my rocker friends, BUT she is a total horror freak, and was recently featured in a brand new Calendar and playing cards for The Women of Armageddon.  Tina was there in costume, signing autographs and posing for pictures.  If that’s what we’re all going to look like by Armageddon time, bring it on!

At that point, I had wanted to go see the screening of Carrie and a few other panels, but I found myself in line for SciFi Speed Dating.  Yes, I really did.

They lined us up, girls on one side, boys on the other, reminiscent of cattle herding, we waited I would say a good 15-20 minutes before the room was ready for us.  They were also taping segments for a reality show (oh goodie), so we had to sign a release form.
 
25 chairs in rows of 4, with 25 more chairs facing each of the original 25 chairs.  The girls stay seated. The boys play musical chairs.

I really remained, open, and welcoming, and gave each lovely male dater a fair shot at connecting with me, making me laugh, exciting some part of my body or mind, but alas, for me, there were 25 duds. Not a single connection, not even an almost connection.  I partially was blaming it on the fact that 3 minutes just isn’t a whole lot of time, but then a new male friend a few nights later, with 3 minutes on the clock, did pretty damn well, and connecting and making me laugh. So yeah, nothing to do with time limits.  When there’s a spark, there’s a spark, and sadly there weren’t any to be found at Scifi Speed Dating.
 
After 2 hours of Speed Dating, I headed out to the Geek Girls Network party, to meet up with Alan, and various other friends. They had rented out an entire bar in Manhattan called Stitch’s, and it was a lot of fun.  The best part about travelling to cons is that you get to meet online friends and peers who you may not have otherwise.  This party was definitely the highlight of my NYCC experience.
 
I got to meet both @bookiosseur and @gimpnelly in real life, yay!! 

 I love these ladies. Janelle and I have been twitter friends for years, and Rachael and I only recently, but it feels like years!  They are both just as amazingly awesome in real life as they are online.
 
And speaking of amazingly awesome, finally, got a chance to catch up with Jenna Busch in real life.

Jenna and I are both featured in an upcoming Special Edition of Cupcake Quarterly Magazine, (pre-order your copy!)  plus we have tons of friends in common, so it was super special to be able to say hi and spend some time together.
 
From there I was summoned to karaoke to meet up with some other non-con, but fantabulously awesome ladies in my life.  Tanya Perez, who is a bi-coastal actor/producer like myself, and the infamous Bonnie Gillespie, who just so happened to be visiting NY for some speaking engagements and other awesome Bon-type things.

Needless to say, we closed the karaoke place down.
 
Sunday, was all about BRUNCH! 

My friend Jaimie lives in this super cool high-rise building, with tons of cool people. Sort of like the Melrose Place of Manhattan, except it’s a high-rise not an open-courtyard type place, cuz well, it’s New York, and that would be chilly.
 
Brunch was unbelievable. 2 hours of all you can eat and drink for $40/pp and the plates just don’t stop coming. Like, ever. I was pretty much in a food coma the rest of Sunday.
 
Monday was a total play-date day. 
 
I had a long overdue breakfast with my friend Bree Michael Warner.  Bree and I first met in 2006, during a series of poetry readings we both participated in back in Los Angeles.  Kindred souls, we began meeting for coffee/tea every few months to catch up on life/love and career stuff.  But, 3 years ago Bree met the man of her dreams and moved to NY, and we haven’t done a good job of staying in touch, outside of Facebook.  So finally, we caught up. She is doing so, so, so good, and make sure to look out for her in her as Detective Brogan starring opposite James Woods, Steven Dorf, David Boreaneaz and more in Officer Down.
 
And then something happened. I think I was so happy to hear all of the good things in Bree’s life, that I sat down by myself near the Hudson River, and just felt a deep heart opening. I felt like all this good stuff that I want for myself, that I envision, is so freakin’ close that I can touch it.  I cried. A happy cry.
 
Later that night, I met up w/Rachael for a delicious happy hour in Brooklyn.  She made me take the subway all alone, in the rain, but I made it there safely, and it was worth it.
 
However, on the way back, well let’s just say that Leah and a few glasses of wine, yeah well, I ended up in Queens instead of Manhattan, not a huge deal, except I had one more friend meet up planned that night, and now I was running about an hour late.
 
Corrected course, and met up with new friend Aaron Sagers at a cool little bar in Manhattan called Bar Nine.   If you’re into the paranormal at all, or read CNN.com, you’re probably familiar with Aaron.   As someone who loves all things supernatural, I was excited to meet up with Aaron. 

Aaron’s a great guy, had a lot of fun listening to bad karaoke, dodging cockroaches, and debating about pretty much every topic that came up. Had he ever joined a debate team, he surely would have been team captain.  If you get a chance check out Aaron’s new show Paranormal Paparazzi Friday nights on the Travel Channel.
 
And then the tour managing gig took focus and alas time to bid adieu to good ole NYC and head back to Philly.
 
But not without one last quick twitter-friend meet up for lunch @TheGeekMatt  met me for lunch near Penn Station and we chatted about Comic Con.

I truly love visiting New York. It leaves me feeling so full of life and energy.  It reminds me that anything, anything, is possible if you set your mind to it.
 
This photo I took of myself, sitting outside, while the winds were picking up speed, and the rain drops were starting to fall near the Hudson River pretty much sums up my time in New York, as well as how I’m feeling about life right now.

Live Love. Love Life.

#xoxo

click here to follow Leah on twitter!

#Adventures in Randomness and Rock & Roll w @leah_cevoli

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Leah. She's pretty rad and has an INCREDIBLY random life. Like, no - for reals ... did you know she has an obsession with vampires, psychics, and tarot card readers ... and she had more sex as a teenager than in her 30s ... anddddd she even had two ex boyfriends die violently - one from a heroin overdose, and the other was murdered. Holy moly roli poli oli - that shit be cray cray. Either way, she's now here to write about her life, love, and all things nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT LEAH!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Leah_Cevoli

Recently, while with an old friend, I was in need of a place to recycle a bunch of cardboard boxes. He suggests the lake near his house, says they have a recycling center nearby. Cool.

As we turn down the street towards the lake, I felt my chest collapse as the air left my lungs, and I hunched over my steering wheel, with my hand on my heart.

This is the DUCK POND, I gasped. Yeah, he says, looking a little concerned.

The Duck Pond. Oh my god.

See, my very long ago, fiancée and I used to go to the duck pond every single weekend. We’d get really, really high, and bring bread for all of the ducks, geese, and assorted other birds. We took photos of them, we had names for some of them, and a lot of the regulars recognized us.

It was our thing. It was fun, and relaxing, and we got to get out in nature and spend time with each other and the ducks.

I haven’t been to or even thought about the duck pond since we split up in 1997.

And at that moment, that the air was sucked out of my chest, it was like, or I imagine it was like, having passed on, and as a spirit looking down at the people and places you left behind, that you can visually still see and feel, but can no longer touch.

I left him.

After 5 years, and 2 years of co-habitation, I bailed. I was just out of grad school and I saw my life flashing before my eyes. I saw me instantly becoming a stay at home Mom with 2 kids by age 30, with a husband who works full time, and a family that sits and watches their favorite tv shows each night when Dad gets home from work.

And I didn’t want that.

I didn’t know what I wanted, but I didn’t want that.

And honestly, I loved him, but I was no longer IN LOVE, actually, I don’t know that I ever was. He pursued me. Patiently and persistently, and next thing I know we’re dating and spending every free moment together, sleepovers etc.

And then .. after 3 years of dating, we got an apartment together.
And even that, didn’t feel right… I wrote in my diary the day I was moving in with him, that I didn’t want to do it, and I had been praying that my Mother or some other kind soul would have simply asked, “Are you sure you want to be doing this?”.. and I probably would have collapsed and cried NO NO NO.. I don’t want to do this… but no one asked, and the moving trucks came, and so I moved.

And 2 years later, I bailed.

Flash forward 15 years later, and re-visiting that duck pond brought up a lot of memories. Good and bad. And the realization, that even though that wasn’t the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I haven’t had a man even come close to the kindness, love, and affection he showed me. Haven’t spent a Christmas, or a Birthday or any Holiday with anyone, haven’t vacationed with anyone, haven’t done a ‘couples’ photo-shoot with anyone…

*Sigh*

Would I want to get back together with my fiancé and beg forgiveness, no, not at all. We last spoke about 3 or 4 years ago, in person, and he said, “I don’t get it. How do you fall out of love with someone?” And I tried my best not to hurt him further, and I said, “We’re just two totally different people. You’re idea of a fun time is a case of beer and going fishing.” “Mine is a yoga retreat and Reiki sessions. “

He still didn’t get it though. I mean maybe he has now, but last time I saw him, he was still very hurt from the breakup. And he’s had major relationships, and a son since.

But he loved me.

More than anyone has since.

There’s something so innocent about ducks. They always seem to be having a good day, they’re always happy to see you, and they always stick together.

Live Love. Love Life.

#xoxo

click here to follow Leah on twitter!