#NerdsUnite: The Ramblings of a Raconteuse (Surviving the Cut)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Helenna. We met on twitter not too long ao, and she's totes mcgotes one rad chiquita banana with a flare for all things flair! That's right, Helenna here is what we call an artsy fartsy nerd. She's a poet, into all things dramatic arts, and she's going to come on board to write each week about her love of said drama. Well not like actual drama drama, like some cat fight shit - but you get the idea. I only have one thing left to say ... HIT IT HELENNA!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Helslevy

It’s been one hundred and four days since I began “Project Helenna” (For reference on what this project is: Part One, Part Two, Recap One “Feelin’ Sexy” and Recap Two “I Am Stoked!”), so I thought it was time for an update on how things are going.

When I started this project it was all about turning my focus from producing my own work, back to the craft of acting, and to create a “holistically healthy Helenna: mentally, physically, and spiritually, to create the best actor I can be and my best self.” 

So how am I doing so far?  Let’s go point by point:

1) Optimum Health and Fitness

While I’m not doing a totally intense workout plan like “Insanity” or something, over the past 104 days I have gone to the gym an average of five days a week doing about 30 – 60 minutes of cardio each time, or I’ll go for a 30 min run outdoors.  My strength training regimen however needs improvement.  I’ll have a week where I’ll do my full program 2 or 3 times a week, and then weeks where I won’t do any strength training at all.  Sometimes it’s because i run out of time in my day and all I can get in is cardio, and other times I’m just being lazy.  Going into day 105 I need to be a lot more diligent about this because when I do stay on the strength training program I definitely see a difference, and I need to keep motivated to stay the course on that one.

Overall though, I’m really proud of myself.  This is the first time in my life that I’ve stayed on a fitness program and really enjoyed it.  One of my favorite things to do right now while I’m on the elliptical is watch Discovery Channel’s “Surviving the Cut” on my iPhone via the Netflix app.  It’s an AMAZING show that inadvertently propels me to push myself harder than I have before. It’s a show that “takes viewers into the intense world of military elite forces training. From divers and snipers to para-rescue men and bomb specialists, the elite and how they earn a place in the coveted units are the focus in this compelling all new series.”  I’m addicted.

I know that yes, I’m just on the elliptical machine and these men are in 12 weeks or so of grueling hell pushing themselves to the absolutely limit of what the human body and mind can achieve, but I always feel like I’m right there with them.  Before I know it my hour of cardio is done and I’ve burned way more calories than usual, because when their Sergeant is yelling at them, I feel like they are yelling at me and I go faster.

One of the other things that I love about this show is the fact that in every single episode the trainees talk about the fact that it’s all in your mind.  Yes, you have to be in incredible shape to do the kinds of things that they are doing, but at a certain point it’s 99% mental.  I feel like that’s so applicable to everything in life.  Watching these men do things that no one should be able to do on no food, 3 hours of sleep, and 21 hours into a long and excruciating training day, all I can think is… if they can do this so can I.  And when I say that I don’t so much mean the workout, I mean, the mental games that you can play with yourself as a creative in Hollywood and specifically as an actor.  Any doubts or fears I have are all in my head.  If I can conquer those thoughts, I can do anything.

2) Sharpen My Craft

This is an interesting one.  I had mentioned that “I realized that I need to make a list of all of the possible types of characters I can play and start researching them now as opposed to when I get the material.  That way, as soon as I see the type of character, I can access the information I’ve banked so that I have a solid starting off point and I’m not forced to begin with the base line of research. (ie)  a cop’s mindset vs a lawyer’s etc…)”  Yah, I fail on this point.  I have yet to do this, but on the flip side I have done an awful lot of self-reflection lately and working on “me,” and that’s half of the work.

We recently had our good friends Michael and Leonardo over for dinner whom we hadn’t seen in a couple of years, and they commented afterwards that I was much more calm and grounded than I was before.  I used to have a tendency to kind of vibrate at a really high frequency and sort of bounce off the walls.  Well, let’s face it, I can still be like that, but now that energy comes from a much more grounded place.  Often in the past I would have this feeling that if I didn’t do something fast enough, or first, or perfectly that the world would explode or something.  Now that’s a hyperbole, but it’s a feeling that I had inside me.  I was a sprinter.  Now I’m learning to run the marathon.  I’ve really began to realize what it means when people say that things happen when they are supposed to, and the universe has bigger plans for us than we have for ourselves, and me pushing the outcome of something or wanting something to come faster than it’s meant to is just going to halt the entire journey.  And pursing an acting career is after all a journey.

3) Balance the Mind

I’ve already touched on this, but I will say that one of my acting coaches, Jack Plotnick, has incredible affirmations that he shares with the actors he works with in his digital book at his website.  For a while…well, the past 3 months really, I hadn’t been doing them.  I was feeling pretty bummed out this last week and Barry asked me if I’d been doing the affirmations.  I admitted that I hadn’t and started doing them again walking around the house, while at the gym, driving in my car, and low and behold I’m already feeling more positive and motivated.

Also, my career coach Barbara Deutsch has a few fantastic podcasts up that have really helped to refuel me.  Especially the one telling me to “wake up.”  I’ve certainly been shaken awake these past few days.

I also think that certain books come to you when you are ready for them.  By this I mean that I have a ton of books sitting on my shelf that I’ve been meaning to read for literally years and haven’t.  One of those books is Louise Hay’s “You Can Heal Your Life.”  Some people might call this book “woo woo,”  but I am a believer in the “woo woo” side of life.  I picked up this book and started reading it the other day and can’t put it down.  Yup, sometimes books speak to you at the exact right time.

4) For Now, Working Only As An Actor

So far so good on this one.  I have done a really good job of sticking to the fact that I’m not going to produce any more projects in 2012 because I was absolutely burnt out from constantly churning out product that my focus on acting suffered a lot.  I’m right on track with this at the moment and have a bunch of things that I’m involved with and attached to. I’m still currently looking for a great theatrical agent to work with as we head into episodic season, and I’ve got my target casting offices that I’m going to finally start work-shopping with.  I have my marketing materials all together and all systems are a “GO” for giving a good push towards my acting career goals in a major way this week.

5) Know What Works For Me

This has probably been one of the most freeing discoveries I’ve made so far.  I used to have “FOMO” aka) “Fear Of Missing Out syndrome.”  I would always wonder if I didn’t go to that event or do that class or read that thing etc.. would I miss out on vital information somehow?  Now, I’m much more relaxed and doing my best to weed out what I feel doesn’t work for me, and focus on what does.  This is something I’m constantly having to reassess, but again, it’s a marathon not a sprint, and it’s all about the journey.

#xoxo hels

tweet me at: @helslevy

browse me at: helennasantoslevy.com

email me at: contacthelenna@gmail.com

#NerdsUnite: The Ramblings of a Raconteuse (Why I should stop watching the CW's "LA Complex," but can't.)

editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Helenna. We met on twitter not too long ao, and she's totes mcgotes one rad chiquita banana with a flare for all things flair! That's right, Helenna here is what we call an artsy fartsy nerd. She's a poet, into all things dramatic arts, and she's going to come on board to write each week about her love of said drama. Well not like actual drama drama, like some cat fight shit - but you get the idea. I only have one thing left to say ... HIT IT HELENNA!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Helslevy

Yup, not gonna lie, it’s hard.  Being an actor in LA can be crazy making at times.  I have a habit of always looking on the bright side of things, of keeping things positive because around that next corner there always seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel.  That’s the only way you can be in this business and survive.

I’ve been talking to a lot of my female friends lately about the reality of “getting older” in Hollywood, and by getting older, I mean being in your mid to late 20s and not having “hit it” yet.  The reality is that this city is much more cruel than I have chosen to believe or have seen so far myself.  From the friend told by a network exec to lose ten pounds or she’ll never work when she already weighs under one hundred and twenty, the other girlfriend who was written off by a director as soon as he found out she was married, and the list goes on and on…

I’ve been lucky so far.  I’ve either somehow been shielded from the majority of negative feedback that can run rampant in Hollywood, or I’ve just always found a positive way to spin it.

Hollywood is an interesting beast.  We are products, pure and simple.  As actors our value for our representation is financial. We either make money for them, or we don’t, and if we don’t, we often end up sitting on a roster gathering dust, or are replaced by someone in our “type category” that can.  We can be the hottest thing one minute, and completely forgotten the next.  And this is the reality for talent that is nowhere near famous.  Fame brings it’s whole own set of complexities.

I’ve been watching “LA Complex” lately on the CW.  Yes, it’s a night time soap that over exaggerates story lines for the purposes of creating addictive drama, but it’s also a pretty darn accurate depiction of the things that go on daily in Hollywood.  (Well, with the exception of Canadians being able to work here without a Visa, oh and getting an agent right away, and booking work on major shows right away, and…well, you get the point.)  But really, it’s a dose of the underbelly of Hollywood straight to my tv, computer, or iPhone, every week and I’m addicted.   It shows the messiness of this industry I have chosen, and I should really stop watching it.  Why?  It puts me in this head space that I haven’t lived in at all so far while pursuing this career and life.  I see all of the bad things magnified, and I’m not sure I like it.  But, that being said, it makes me appreciate all of the good that much more, and I’m surrounded by a whole lot of good.

Despite the fact that “LA Complex” can put me in a pretty bummed out mood, I’m going to keep watching it because it’s fabulously done evening entertainment, and since the reboot of “Melrose Place” and “The Secret Circle” are no longer on the air, it gives me a good trashy tv fix.  And in all seriousness, it prompts some pretty great discussions with my friends about the things that are hard.  And yes, we were already talking about all of these things, but for some reason “LA Complex” has shone a spotlight on them even more for me, and not suppressing the realities of this city is important.

So while allowing myself to see the muck, I’m going to keep reaching out and using the resources that have helped me thrive so far like The Working Actress blog, Bonnie Gillespie’s Actor’s Voice, the Inside Acting Podcast, and all of the amazingness that the new media community and geek community have to offer.

Why?  Because I’m in this for the long haul, and I can either be buried under the weight of these bright lights, or I can run at a strong steady pace through this big city. And personally, I prefer the great calorie burning marathon.

Until next time,

#xoxo hels

tweet me at: @helslevy

browse me at: helennasantoslevy.com

email me at: contacthelenna@gmail.com