#NerdsUnite: Gratitude for Love in Your Life

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Ajay Chauhan

All of us go through personal victories and tragedies. The difference is in how we perceive these experiences. One can downplay the positives and dwell on the negatives. This will make life hell. On the other hand, you can have a beautiful life if we have a sense of gratitude for all the little positives that are manifested in our life.

Some of us may be going through a period of separation from a partner or spouse. The newly single status and its associated loneliness may seem cruel and empty. People may seem vicious and evil.

At this stage, one must remember that this stage will definitely pass. No situation is permanent, and if you have lost one relationship, there are several more relationships waiting for you in the future.

Meanwhile, you need to cultivate the habit of gratitude. Even if you have lost a husband, there is plenty of love in your life: From a close friend to a friendly neighbor to a sensitive colleague at work. If you contribute to charitable causes, you have the love of its recipients to boot.

How can a habit of gratitude be cultivated?

•                Use your senses:  Many sensory experiences are taken for granted. Learn to appreciate life with heightened awareness: Beautiful sights of trees and flowers around you, different smells, and different tastes of food items and different feel of fabrics. Appreciate music, as well as, the different sounds of silence.

•                Do some spring cleaning: Whichever month it is, it is good to gather up the mops and vacuum cleaner to clean up your home. Not only does the newly cleaned room re-invigorate you, but you may stumble upon old photos and trinkets that remind you of happy times.

•                Learn to relax: It is difficult to have a grateful attitude if you are anxious or angry. Try to resolve all issues that disturb your mind so that it can be relaxed and happy.

•                Live in the present: Do not lose the joy of today being entangled with the past and the future. Dwelling on the past and the future makes you miss the wonderful things in the present. Enjoy the experiences of today and do not delay it for tomorrow.

•                Take vacation: It is good to pack up your bags and set upon a vacation far away from the hustle and bustle of your life.  A small picnic in a park nearby will also do, if it can help you unwind. You need to separate yourself from someone or something to truly appreciate their value.

•                Maintain a gratitude journal:  Keep a written record of all the things you are grateful for. By re-evaluating your experiences and sifting the positives, you can reinforce the habit of gratitude. You can read this journal every time you are feeling low, and it will perk up your spirits.

•                Create your own ceremony of gratitude: Light a few candles, meditate or enjoy a pampering bubble bath where you can collect all your positive energy.

•                Take things lightheartedly: Look at the lemons handed down in your life with a pinch of humor. Learn to laugh more, love more and be thankful for every laugh and every feeling of   love in your life.

•                Inspirational material: Read Inspiring books, as well as, inspirational quotes in order to be thankful for the good things in life.

•                Dollops of kindness: Allow yourself to perform random actions of kindness.  Gift a bag of grocery to a homeless man. Volunteer as a neighborhood watch member. All these kind acts are a perfect way to express gratitude to God.

•                Family time: Take out time from your daily life to spend with family and friends and your life will be blessed with unconditional love and joy.

These are some of the tips on how to develop the habit of gratitude in one’s life.

#nerdsunite

Author: The author Ajay Chauhan is presently associated with Love Wale. All articles are published on behalf of LoveWale. 

#RealDeal: 5 ways to offer each other extra space to enhance relationship

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Ajay Chauhan

Relationship begins to decay, in case any of the partners start to feel suffocated due to the partner’s over clinginess. Couples interested to enhance their relationship and make much stronger should try out different ways that would assist them to understand each other better and to give that much needed space. It is to be remembered that being into relationship is not just a game, but requires plenty of effort for maintaining it. Moreover, it also needs to pass through every test and remain intact.

Spending quality time with friends

It is necessary to understand that everyone would like to spend some quality time with their friends. There might be some special friend, for whom he/she might like to share memories. If the partner tries to stop the person from giving quality time to the friend, this could mean trouble. This actually develops suspicion and is not at all good for a healthy relationship. On the other hand, it would only make the other person to repulse and develop a negative feeling about the partner. Hence, adequate space should be given so that the partner enjoys his/her time with friends, but it is important to know who that friend is.

Taking up different hobbies

It is not necessary that both of them share the same interests. Being love definitely means appreciating one another’s interest, but not at the expense of sacrificing each other’s interests. Therefore, every couple needs to pursue their own hobby, so that they can enjoy themselves and maintain a healthy relationship.

Pressing hard for getting answers

There are times, when a person might handle a situation in a different way. In case, the partner is exhibiting an unusual behavior or quiet, this should not be seen as negativity and too many questions asked in this regard. It would only lead to discomfort in the relationship and unnecessary tension. Also, one should not expect immediate response for such actions.

Becoming a mind reader and too clingy

The partner should not keep on calling every 5 minutes or try to bombard with text messages. It would not be possible for the other person to reply to each of them. Experts state that this could prove to be quite dangerous for the relationship and also not let the partner to focus on his/her work. It might happen that the partner is busy with some important schedule and not have the time to respond. Hence, it is important for the person to give the partner a good amount of time, so that he/she can complete their work and can explain in a relaxed manner about their being late to respond.

Making the partner to understand the importance of providing space

In case, one of the partners is not able to understand the signals, it is, then, high time for both of them to sit down and discuss on providing space to each other. The partner needs to be reassured that giving space is important for mutual development. Communications is known to work always.

With these five top ways, it is sure that the couples would enjoy their relationship.

#nerdsunite

Ajay is currently associated with Love Wale and has been into writing articles for couples to strengthen their relationships with each other. There are plenty of articles written by him that you can see here. 

#NerdsUnite: Top reasons why you are not getting or keeping your dates

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Ajay Chauhan

Ever wondered why you are faring badly at the dating game. Are you finding it difficult to get a first date or never going beyond a first date to a second date?

Here are the top ten reasons, along with the dating tips, why you don’t fare well in the dating game. First five reasons are why you are not getting any dates at all and second five reasons are why you don’t get any second dates.

First dates:

• You do not recognize opportunities: Maybe you have a set idea where to get dates and as such pass up opportunities to find a date in your daily routine. You overlook the chance of meeting your Mr. or Ms Right in your daily grind like at the supermarket, walking down the street or waiting in a coffee shop.

• You project that you are unavailable: Your attitude and body language convey the message that you are unavailable. For instance, are you always frowning and looking angry? To get a date, you need to replace that look with a friendly, positive outlook.

• You wear a strong armor: Have you been hurt in love before, and now don’t want to get hurt again. Constantly reliving the past sabotages one’s chances of finding love again. Even if you get offers for a date, you turn it away. One should give up the protective barrier, and be open to connect with someone new.

• You dress down: If you want to attract dates, you should be well dressed at all occasions. Many singles dress inappropriately in ways that do not complement their figure. For instance, they might wear over sized clothing, dull colors like grey or are stuck to their high school fashion. Consult a friend to find out what sort of wardrobe is flattering to your personality.

• You are too busy for love: Are you so busy that you don’t have time for your social and particularly romantic life. Singles often complain that they are too busy to find time for love. But they must become open to the idea of dating if they are to connect to the right person who will make life worthwhile on this earth.

Second dates:

• You are a late-gate: Did you arrive at your first date, late, without any genuine explanation?-Chances are that you will not have a second date. Most people don’t like persons who don’t value their time, and let them wait at their dates.

• Bringing up ex: If you spend all your time on the first date discussing your ex- his or her defects and the problems they caused in your life, it may not go well for your current date. Most people don’t want to connect with you if you bring your emotional baggage to your first date. So avoid discussing your ex at your current date.

• Getting drunk: There is nothing more repulsive that getting drunk on your first date. Avoid having more than two cocktails, so you keep your head.

• Do not listen: Especially for women, they want their dates to listen to them and hold a balanced conversation during the first date.

• You are disrespectful and too independent: Do not come across as a rude and headstrong person.

These are the top ten reasons why you are unsuccessful at the dating game.

#nerdsunite

AUTHOR: The author Ajay Chauhan is an employee of Love Wale. He contributes blogs and articles to the website. Topics he covers include dating, marriage and relationships.

#NerdsUnite: Tips to discover if the guy has an existing relationship

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Ajay Chauhan

It is necessary for every girl to find out if the boy that she is trying to date has an existing relationship or not. This is very much essential so that she can have a wonderful and romantic life. Being a woman, no girl would like to portray herself as chasing the man, instead of the opposite. Hence, asking directly this question to the guy would be a wrong way to portray oneself.

However, there are various simple relationship tips by which the girl can get a better idea, if the guy is presently involved with another girl or not. She needs to pay close attention to his body language and his talks. Moreover, in the initial stage, it would be better for the girl to think from her mind, then, listen to her heart. Only, then, she would be able to enjoy this relationship. But, if the guy lets out any sign that shows that he is already engaged to someone else, it would be better to take appropriate decisions.

Is he interested to talk more about his ‘friend’?

There might be times, when he would avoid speaking about his friends, the places, where he goes with them, what he does, etc. As a matter of fact, he might be just hiding something. There could be replies like “Yes, I visited the new restaurant with my… friend recently,” there can be a chance that is simply trying cover up another relationship. It could be just anything, right from having a child from an earlier relationship to seeing another woman, which he does not want her to know.

Does he avoid while she makes plans?

There are instances, when people these days have to spend several nights together, working in a row. It could be because of a product launch, or the accounts to be streamlined. But, if he is just not willing to commit towards a timetable, or not seeing in her eyes, while saying a ‘No’, then, there are chances that he does have someone else to be with.

Taking note of his body language

It is known to everyone that most of us tend to communicate with our tone and posture than the words said. It is quite possible for him to smile and be engaging, but his eyes shifting sideways to notice who is watching. In such a case, he would be caught in a defensive posture that would narrate the entire story. There could be times, when he would be a part of some interesting conversation in person, but his mind wandering somewhere else. This might be because that he is already engaged and thinking about her. But, this does not mean that she should conclude that he has a steady relationship already.

Checking out the person for existing relationship can be quite tricky and somewhat tough. But, with patience and proper strategy, it is possible to find out if the person is really single or into steady relationship. Hence, it is very much essential for the girl to make double sure that her doubts are true; otherwise, there are chances of her losing him to suspicion forever.

#nerdsunite

Author’s Bio

The author Ajay Chauhan is presently associated with LoveWale and is an expert in writing articles based on building relationships. His articles have helped many couples to have long lasting relationships.