#TrueStory: In high school, I was stalked by 4 of my best friends (pt. 5)

AHHHHH part 5 ... part 5 ... part 5 ... I've been procrastinating all morning on writing the next chapter. No like literally ... see, I've been hiding under my blanket staring off into space ...

Grow a pair, Jen. I have pilates in a couple of hours, and I owe you all more of this story.

ALLLLRRRRIIIITTTTEEEEE!!

If you haven't caught up, here's part one, part two, part three, and part four. Basically, I was the first person in Connecticut to get a restraining order in a non-sexual relationship. Not something I'm exactly going to get a plaque for and put on my wall, but considering in a week I will be back in CT, this is something I wanted to address.

Whoop dee freaking do. Need a song ... cue The Police! (hahaha literally)

For like 5 years I couldn't listen to this fucking song. Talk about the stalker's anthem. BAHHH!!

The harassment didn't stop. Day after day it got worse and worse. They showed up at events I was working for my modeling agency, followed me home from places basically anytime I left the house - these girls were very very very devoted to making me as miserable as possible.

The barrage of emails, IMs, and phone calls were never ending as well. Letters begging me to please just die already were a daily event.

It took about a week before my parents decided to take action. My dad being a lawyer and a very level headed human being to begin with knew that if we tried to get a restraining order it would only take things to the next level, and all it was was a piece of paper - it offered no real "protection" and that is if we could even get one to begin with. 

I cried, I don't care. I don't care. Just make them stop.

Fortunately, because the majority of the harassment happened online, everything was documented.

Printed out profiles, emails, IMs, bam - we had it all, and it was all very scary to read.

We called the West Hartford police department and Officer Schwab responded.

Tangent: Like the most amazing human being on this planet, btw. He's not there anymore - but this man very literally saved my life. Like no joke ... he was the only one that believed this was more than a cat fight.

My parents and I sat down with him, and we went over the mounds of harassment, and asked what we could do. I told him that they had also shown up to both of my places of employment, and also have followed me home from various places throughout the town.

They're everywhere, I said and they have so many people involved at this point, people I don't know.

You have to start calling the police. Every event, every time you see them - just get it on record.

But no one believes me - everyone keeps thinking this is something that is going to go away, and they're not stopping, it's only getting worse.

Well, that's why you're going to document everything, he said. Every instance, every bit of the harassment. Keep a journal, keep your cell phone on you, and charged.

My family and I thanked him for his kind words and patience. He read through all of the emails the girls wrote and was floored that anyone could be so vile.

He hugged me.

I sobbed into his shoulder, I didn't ask for this. She was my best friend, I loved her.

It's okay. You're doing the right thing, and you have great parents that are going to help you get through this, he said.

I went to sleep at that point, and my dad went to work contacting some of his legal buddies.

I say this to people a lot, and I know it sounds weird because he's my dad ... but you don't ever, and I mean EVER want to be on the other side of the table legally speaking from my father; he is a shark. He gets paid every day to eat people alive - and he is very. very. very. good at it. When it came to assemble a team, my father pulled out all of the stops contacting one of his oldest friends from high school who was also one of the best lawyers in Connecticut, Mr. Owen Eagan.

Owen and my father talked for a bit that night, and Owen couldn't believe what he was hearing - he immediately agreed to meet with my dad and I later that week.

The harassment continued over the next few days. They showed up at Starbucks again, but this time, I called the police and filed a report.

The following weekend, they showed up at an event I was working for the modeling agency at the mall - I called the police.

I was walked to my car, I was walked to the bathroom - I very literally never spent a moment alone during that time, which is awkward because I spent so much of my life being a loaner. Even working, I had to tell my employers what was going on, and although neither of them were pleased, they understood and were happy that I was at least taking care of it.

We met with Owen later that week, and he suggested we file for an injunction (which is basically a temporary restraining order). At that point, we had plenty of evidence of an elevated threat, and continued documentation that they were not stopping.

These girls very literally wanted me dead, and weren't going to stop until it happened.

They filed for the injunction, and because of the weeks of harassment, and now numerous police reports ... (which btw are a total pain in the ass to get when you're stalked across various towns. Berlin, Farmington, and West Hartford - UGH! So many police stations!!!) ...the girls got a knock on their door from the boys in blue.

Mandy ...

::knock knock::

Amber ...

::knock knock::

Valerie ...

::knock knock::

Sarah ...

::knock knock::

I don't remember what the exact verbiage was on the first injunction, but the judge demanded that the girls stay at least 350 yards away from me, and have no contact online, or in person direct or indirect.

They were also instructed to stay away from all of my places of employment - clearly.

It's one thing to be a teenager and get into trouble, whatever, parents can look the other way - it's an ENTIRELY different scenario when the police knock on your door. The girls parents who were pre-occupied with their own comings and goings were now FORCED to take notice.

That night, our phone rang.

::ring ring::

Mandy's parents ...

::ring ring::

Amber's parents ...

::ring ring::

Valerie's parents ...

::ring ring::

Sarah's parents ...

My father said the same thing to each and everyone of them, just keep your fucking kid under control and away from my fucking kid, and none of this will have to go any further, he slammed the phone down.

Yeah. Parents are scared of lawyers ... they're expensive. Where's the one place you could hit parents like theirs to get them to notice? Their pocketbook!

Mandy had the strictest parents of them all, so the harassment from her immediately stopped.

Valerie, Amber, and Sarah however were a horse of a different color.

A couple days went by, and things were pretty calm. My parents had planned a trip out of the country, and although they were hesitant to leave me they knew my brother was still home and could make sure I was okay.

They begrudgingly went on their trip, and alone in my room I stayed. I was just so afraid to leave! Mind you too, our house was built by a student of Frank Llyod Wright - we had NINETY EIGHT windows in that house. Literally, our entire living room, which was half the size of a professional basketball court, was floor to ceiling (30 foot tall) windows.

I didn't even feel safe in my own home since it was all one level sprawled out with windows. Their messages indicated they would just shoot me through the windows.

I resided in one small corner of my room hidden between my desk and my bed, it was there I slept, it was there I stayed.

A couple of days into their trip, I picked myself up and talked myself into going back to work (as I had requested a few days off from both jobs), and back into my life.

I drove that night to the modeling agency ... and that night, I was followed home by Amber's car. 

Why. Why. Why. Why.

I call the police, and tell them that she was violating her injunction.

Even WITH the injunction ON me, the cops still thought this was a "cat fight."

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!!?!?!?!!?!!!!!!!!! They said they would issue her a warning, but other than that they weren't going to arrest her this evening.

I came home crying so hard in my brothers arms - I need out, I need a break, this has got to stop.

This had literally been going on non-stop at this point for almost an entire month. Morning, noon, and night. Continued harassment online, in person.

I decided that night I needed to get out of town - I'm going to the condo, Michael.

See, the parentals enjoyed the fruits of their hard labor and also had a condo in Maine that they frequented on the weekends.

I got in the car and drove the 3.5 hours up to the condo. I needed to be gone, far away from these girls, from this situation, from everything my life had become.

I had never taken the girls there, so I knew it was a place I could at least get a good nights sleep and get away from everything for a minute.

I get up to the condo and just collapse on my parents bed. I stare out at the ocean and just question everything my life had become. What was going on? What could I have done differently? Will my life ever be the same again?

I was so afraid to leave the house, to even BE in my house - I cried myself to sleep.

I. Hate. My. Life.

(Now this is where shit gets SUPER trippy!) I wake up the next morning to the sound of banging. Not like banging like someone knocking things around, like the kind of banging you'd hear from someone doing construction. It was off season for most of the condo owners, I was one of the only people in the complex - so it didn't seem terribly unusual that someone would be doing some sort of construction during that time.

I fall back asleep.

Not 15 minutes later, I am awoken again - more banging.

Angry from not having slept in a month, I figured I could at least take a look around and see where this person is, and reason with them and their construction during that hour.

I look out the window and see nothing - UGGHHHHHHHH where are you commmiinnggggg frommmmm, I proclaim still groggy.

I walk out of the bedroom and over to the kitchen, and peer out the window.

Nothing.

No construction cars, no construction ... nothing.

The banging continues.

Wait, is that in the hallway?

I walk over to the door and peer out the peep hole - I see on the ground two people kneeling at our front door ... it wasn't construction, they were trying to bust open our lock (and rather sloppily).

Right then, inspired by exhaustion and pure insanity, I grabbed the knife next to the kitchen counter - as the door flies open.

The dude had a pick or something that he put in between the door and the door frame, and POOF he finally popped it. Fortunately, I had put the chain on from the night before, so the door didn't open very far, just enough for them to see someone standing there. 

I scream at the top of my lungs as I raise the knife, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!!?!?!?!

The guys clearly floored since they were anticipating an empty condo scream and run down the stairs and out the front door.

I place my left hand on the door to close it, and I fall to the ground.

I very literally had no idea what came over me. Like what logical person in that scenario does something like that. I WAS SIXTEEN!?!? WHO GOES AND GRABS THE KITCHEN KNIFE!!!

I run over to the phone.

Call police. I have to call the police.

I stood there for a second, I was so shocked at what I had just done that I very literally forgot the number for 911.

I instead speed dial my brother and explain what had happened.

WHAT?! He says. Only you ... hang up the phone, and call the police.

I would, but I don't know the number.

It's 9-1-1.

Yeah, I felt like an idiot - but its amazing what the brain does in situations like that. Even coming from someone who had dialed 911 more times in that last month than I ever had in my entire life. I was on fight or flight for so long, everything neurologically was just shot.

I call the police, and moments later they arrive. The guys had left at that point.

They indicated that there had been a series of thefts in the complex over the last few days. He said that I'm sure they were looking for my parents car, not mine - and were surprised to see someone in the condo. He was shocked I had confronted them, but I explained to him that I wasn't thinking - it all happened so fast, I merely reacted. 

He took a look at the lock and saw the damage, but fortunately I guess because of the way that they hit it, it didn't fully break it. Bottom line: I didn't have to replace the lock right now, I could just leave.

I was grateful. I didn't want to wait around for a locksmith - I just didn't want to be anywhere near any of this bullshit.

He told me that he would be contacting me if they catch the guys since I was the only witness they knew of.

Only me ... what the fuck are the odds that something like this would happen, the ONE time ... ONE TIME I came up to the condo to ESCAPE shit like this. (What you fear, you draw near.)

I drove home the 3.5 hours sobbing. I was in such a state of shock, I couldn't believe I had just pulled a knife on two dudes. Wow. Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Had they not run there was not a shadow of a doubt in my mind I would have gone ape shit. I had been so stressed out at that point after everything the girls had put me through - who knows what I would have been capable of.

Insane.

Alrite, going to take a break here. Next up, the girls continue to violate the injunction - and wind up in the back of the cop car ... the first of many trips.

Thanks guys too for all the comments, tweets, and emails. I am saddened to hear that so many of you can relate, but as usual, I am here to listen. Keep on keepin on!!! =) =) =)

Facebook.com/JenFriel

Twitter.com/JenFriel

JenFriel at TalkNerdyToMeLover dot com

#namaste

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#TrueStory: In high school, I was stalked by 4 of my best friends (pt. 4)

Part 4 .... fuuuucckkkk me in the goat ass. Alrite, spit it out Jen.

Here we go ...

If you haven't caught up, here's part one, part two, and part three. Basically, I was the first person in Connecticut to get a restraining order in a non-sexual relationship. Not something I'm exactly going to get a plaque for and put on my wall, but considering in a week I will be back in CT, this is something I wanted to address.

There's only one song I can hear while writing this ...

The bass gets closer and closer - I didn't even have to continue to look, I knew it was her, and I knew she was coming to kick my ass.

I RUNNNNNNNNNNNN out of the library, make a mad dash through the living and dining room and SLAM the front door locking both of the locks.

I run down the hall - Mom! She's here! Amber is here! Mom - she is going to kick my ass.

What, Jennifer?! What did you do?!

Mom, we finally had it out. She knows that I've been trying to distance myself from her; Sarah set me up.

My mom immediately goes into protective mama lion mode and stops what she is doing. A cub needs protecting. (PS. you can do a lot of things to my mom in life - but don't fuck with her kids. She will eat you alive ... like seriously. Vicious woman. HIZZUAH!)

I hear Amber's car door open, and slam.

JENNIFER DOROTHY FRIEL. GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW! She screams. (And yes, my middle name is Dorothy. BIITTCHIINNN!!!)

JENNIFER DOROTHY FRIEL. GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!

JENNIFER DOROTHY FRIEL. GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!

Over ... and over ... and over ... walking towards the door, and then trying to peer into the windows.

My mom goes towards the front door, I try to stop her.

MOM! Leave her be! Please please please let's just call the police or something. Mom, she's crazy - you should have heard her on the phone, please don't do it. Just, don't do it.

Shut up, Jennifer. I'm going to settle this. She can't keep screaming, the neighbors will complain.

My mom opens the front door to my horror, but locks the screen door. (FTR our screen door wasn't like a normal person's screen door - this is Connecticut, that thing was like a friggen steel gate of awesome. Super posh, and had uber strong locks on it. Fort Knox, bitches!)

Amber, sweetie, I need you to calm down. Jen can't see you right now because you're so upset. I need you to calm down, and when you're ready get back in your car and go home, sweetie. (GO MOM GO!)

I was literally hiding behind her reminiscent of me being 6 and hiding behind her skirt, or hiding under her comforter because the boogie monster was going to get me. Dudes, I'd MUCH rather face the fucking boogie monster than this bitch. I'd take an eternity covered in snot than 5 minutes outside with Amber. There was not a SHADOW of a doubt in my mind she was going to fuck me up.

Mrs. Friel - you need to back off and let your daughter deal with her problems. You can't speak for her forever, she's going to have to grow up.

Yes, Amber, you're right - but right now, you're on our property, and I'm no longer asking you, I am telling you to calm down and leave.

Mrs. Friel ... she steps closer to the front door, BRING YOUR DAUGHTER OUT HERE NOW AND I WILL FUCKING LEAVE.

You leave me no choice Amber. I am going to have to call the police.

FINE! GO AHEAD! AT LEAST SHE'LL HAVE TO COME OUTSIDE TO TALK TO THEM. I'M GONNA FUCK HER SHIT UP!

My mom goes over to the kitchen and dials 911.

To the 911 operator: Hi, I have a disturbance to report. My daughter's best friend is going through some issues right now, and the two girls are having a big fight, and now she won't leave our property. Can you please send someone over just to get her to leave? I don't want her arrested - I just want her to leave the property so she can calm down.

Operator: We'll send someone right over.

Amber meanwhile continues to scream obscenities at the top of her lungs. You're such a fucking slut, way to hide behind your mom you fucking dirty bitch.

Tangent: Girls are so weird when it comes to fighting. They just don't play well with others - like at all. Really, a slut? And a dirty bitch? I was such a prude. At least go for something good. Call me a loaner, call me a loser, I dunno - but slut? 0 brownie points on that one.

A solid 20 minutes goes by before the police arrive. Two female officers approach Amber.

She screams - OH NICE ONE!!! Wow, Jen, you REALLY can't handle your problems can you? Just get out here and fucking face me. Let's just get this over with - she screams to the front door.

The officers ask her to leave, as my mom opens the front door again standing, watching. 

Ma'am, we are going to ask you to leave right now. You are trespassing and disturbing the peace, this is grounds for arrest if you do not leave immediately.

My mom pipes up, I don't want her arrested - I just want her gone.

Ma'am - the officer says to my mother, let us handle this please.

Just please don't arrest her, she repeats.

MA'AM! Get inside.

My mom closes the front door, I remain on the ground next to it, shaking.

This isn't happening. This isn't happening. This isn't happening.

Amber then proceeded to get in her car after the officers were literally about to slap cuffs on her. My mom got her wish of Amber not being arrested, something she would later regret.

::Breathe Jen, Breathe:: BLLLLAHHH I hate this story ... People don't understand that stalkers don't just affect you, it affects your whole family. Keep on truckin, keep on truckin Jen.

I don't remember much from that evening, I just remember sobbing uncontrollably in my room. How could Sarah have done that to me? WHYYYYYY did she set me up like that?!?! Does she not understand how fragile Amber is!!! She was going through so so much with her family, this was the absolutely last thing I ever wanted to do to her.

I turned on my computer, logged onto AOL, and aimlessly plugged away playing Slingo and PoppIt.

Less than a half hour into me logging in - I get an IM from Amber.

::blue font:: Ur dead.

::red font:: Amber, calm down. I didn't mean for this to happen.

::blue font:: whatever. way 2 hide behind ur mother u stupid bitch.

::red font:: I didn't hide behind my mom - you were being irrational, I couldnt talk to you.

I hear an alert, Sarah signed on.

::red font:: How could you do this to me?

::red font:: I confided in you! I thought you were my friend.

No response.

The AOL door slams, and she logs off.

::blue font:: ur dead, jen. say your fucking prayers you dumb bitch.

Then another alert pops up - it's Valerie.

::blue font:: hahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahaah wut a dumb beyotch.

::blue font:: we're all gonna come and kick your ass. How culd u do sumethin like that 2 ur friend? supposedly your best friend. how do you live wit yo self?

The IMs that evening didn't stop.

Valerie, and Amber ... back and forth. I started screaming - make them stop. Make them stop. I didn't ask for this, I didn't want this. I was just trying to be a good friend, I just didn't know what to do.

I slid out of my computer chair hysterical and curled into the fetal position.

My parents were in the other room and heard my screams - they comforted me.

My dad hugged me - sweetie, shhhhh it's okay. We love you, it's okay. I'm sorry these girls are doing this to you.

Dad, they're so mean - you should read the things they're saying.

Turn off the computer daughter. Just get off of it, have some tea, and turn on a movie. Things like this blow over, they always do.

Dad, she waited TWO days from that phone call she listened in on. She's plotting something - I know it. She's irrational.

Daughter, take a breather, and quit the drama. You're safe, you're home - we have an alarm, and no one can hurt you. We are here to protect you.

I continued to sob, unable to be consoled.

::sobbing:: whattt didd i dooooo. I only did what I thought was the right thing to do. Why god, why! I didn't ask for this.

I realized in that first AOL IM session that all of the girls had formed an alliance against me. Mandy and Sarah were cheerleaders together, so that one was a no brainer, but because Mandy and Amber were friends to begin with, her and Sarah were now besties, and even though Valerie went to school on the other side of town (summer school is held at one school instead of both), now she was involved.

These were the only close friends I had ever had my entire school career, and now they all hate me. What is WRONG WITH ME!?!?! First my family doesn't like me, (read this post to my grandparents), now this is happening?! I HATE MYSELF. I HATE MYSELF. I HATE MYSELF.

I AM FUCKING DUMB BITCH.

I screamed some more, clearly not at all caring that anyone in the house could hear. My parents just let me cry, and let me scream it out.

My mom sobbed not knowing what to do. My dad said, you're doing everything right babe. Just let her be. Jen needs to process this.

I passed out on the floor of my bedroom.

Fortunately, a few hours later due to the uncomfortable nature of my sleeping position - I woke up. I had failed to set an alarm, and I had to open at Starbucks the next morning. And when I say morning ... I mean morning. My alarm was set at 3:30 - my butt had to be there at 4:45, that's in the AM peoples.

I went into work that morning and was in a complete haze. I wasn't thinking, I wasn't feeling, I was surprised I was breathing. What is wrong with my life. What is wrong with me. Why don't people like me, rang through over and over in my head.

I have absolutely no friends. At all. They all hate me and have turned against me. My friends ... my friends.

I proceeded to ring up coffee and pastries all morning while holding back tears.

My co-workers could tell something was up, but they had no idea. 

I forget what happened that day, but someone had called out - and I was asked to stay on a few hours later than usual to cover the afternoon rush.

My brain was so out of it anyway, I don't even think I knew how to process the word no, let alone say it.

Fine.

The afternoon marches on. I clean counters, grind coffee, and make small talk with regulars.

At about 2:30pm, the front doors open. I look up, and see Amber, Sarah, and Mandy.

Leave. Now. I say with force.

Hi, Jen! They all start chanting.

How are you? Can we please like have some frappuccino!

I stand my ground. I am not asking you, I am telling you to leave now, before you cause a scene.

You can't make us leave you dumb bitch.

My manager comes out.

I need you to handle this, I say as I walk into the back.

How can I help you girls? He says, calm.

We'd like some Fraps please.

Fine, how many.

3 please. Mocha.

Fine.

He makes the drinks, takes the money from the girls, and then asks them to leave.

You can't make us leave, they demand.

Oh yes I can.

I don't know what is going on, but you're causing a disturbance, and you need to go.

Yeah well your employee is a dumb fucking bitch.

Goodbye girls, I am going to call the police.

They proceed to leave.

My manager comes into the back and sees me sitting on a box of coffee sobbing.

What is going on, Jen? Who are those girls?

They were my friends. I just ... don't know what happened.

I continue to sob.

Go home. We're fine here, we'll get it covered.

I calm myself down, wiping away my tears, and get in my car.

I want to go home ... I want to go home ... just let me be home.

The drive wasn't that far, a mere 2 miles at most - but the girls didn't leave Starbucks that day, they proceed to follow me home driving erratically almost hitting the back of my car. 

BACK OFF!!! I SCREAM INTO THE REAR VIEW MIRROR!!! YOU'RE GOING TO KILL US YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!!

I can see the girls all laughing in the car. I am afraid to step on my brakes for fear that they are going to ram right into me.

My eyes so filled with tears, I am barely able to see where I am going.

I pull onto my street, and the girls drive off honking and flipping me off.

I pull into the driveway, run into the house as fast as my legs would carry me, and call my dad at work.

We have to do something - they're not stopping.

Have you just tried talking to them, Jen.

YES dad! They are fucking irrational, and I don't know what to do. They aren't stopping.

My dad, being a corporate lawyer, advised me that there was nothing I could do.

But dad, they're chasing me on the streets! How is this not illegal?

Daughter, just calm down. I will talk to you when I get home. ENOUGH already with this drama.

I hang up the phone in tears knowing that this wasn't just a "spat" and this wasn't just "girls being girls" - this felt different; something in my soul and something in my core could feel it ... these girls were evil, and I had no idea what they were capable of. 

I log onto AOL, and the IMs continue moments later. 

Amber and Valerie ... then Valerie ... then just Amber.

Sarah even chimed in laughing, and had other friends of hers IM me saying they had heard that I was a slut and they could come by for a good time.

I blocked everyone. I couldn't even believe what I was reading.

BLOCK.

BLOCK.

BLOCK. BLOCK. BLOCK

Are you sure? pops up on the screen.

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then, the emails start.

Email, after email. Over and over. You're dead. We're coming for you, when you least expect it.

Their screen names, their friends screen names, straight up strangers were involved at this point threatening me. I couldn't believe how many people were involved at this point and hell bent on seeing me dead or at least harmed greatly.

When we're done with you your parents won't recognize you, you dumb bitch!

You've got mail.

You've got mail.

You've got mail.

Over ... and over ... and over ... and over ...

You've got hate.

You've got hate.

You've got hate.

I put my hands up to the monitor - JUST STOP IT!! JUST STOP IT!!!!

The girls all change their AOL profiles to post really profane things about me. To this day, I can't remember exactly what it said - I was just so mortified. They're attacking me in cyber space too? Who does this?

I turn off the computer while sobbing to my parents who were still at work, mom and dad - I need help. 

I'm scared. I'm so scared.

Alrite, taking a break here. Next up, the harassment continues, and did I mention that when I tried to get away from the girls, the house I stayed in got broken into? Yep. The robbers had really really really badddddddd timing.

#staytuned

Click here to read the next chapter

Clarification: Sarah came to my high school after transfering from the other town high school in junior year. Summer school however, is a combination of both town high schools in one class. So like for example, I took senior english during the summer, so it was 1 senior english class offered throughout the entire town's public school system. Get it? So Valerie didn't even go to my school - at all. She knew Sarah because they had gone to middle school and what not together, and then they reunited in summer school when we all started hanging out.

I never liked Valerie. She just always seemed ... off. I didn't wish ill of her, whatever, I was grateful for the friends in general.

But yeah, she didn't even go to my high school and she only started to harass me to jump on the bandwagon. YAYYY!! =) But don't worry, she got arrested too.

#TrueStory: In high school, I was stalked by 4 of my best friends (pt. 2)

So, as you all know from reading this site for like longer than .25 seconds - I am clearly like the most EXCITED person to be alive on this planet. Like literally. That being said, no one is born viewing life that way - wait, "no one" is the wrong term ... lemme say that very very very few are born viewing life that way. Whew - way better. I am grateful to be alive because when I was 16, I was very very very certain I was going to die. I don't say that to be dramatic; it's incredibly matter of fact and documented in court records. It also speaks to why my parents are still so overprotective of me, and why when I launched this site they couldn't speak to me, because they very literally couldn't take it after this happened. And certainly this is one of the reasons why I haven't been back to Connecticut for a prolonged visit in almost a decade.

Again, please note that names and certain locations have been changed.

Here's part one. And now onto part two ...

So, freshman year - we were besties. Yes, we fought like cats and dogs, but anyone that is that "close" would have as well. That part didn't make us special, just awesome. Tangent: It is interesting though the more I think about this story, the more that I know that I blocked so much of it out. This is very literally my best attempt, and obviously just my side of it.

Freshman year turned to sophmore year, and I was becoming more and more comfortable in my skin. I'm a very vocal person, but prior to being friends with this girl (let's call her Amber), I didn't really have a scholastic identity. I wasn't in a crowd, I was merri-weather friends with everyone - but had no best friends. Part of that was due to just moving to West Hartford the year prior, and the other part of it was something I felt inside of me; I was absolutely ... 100% incapable of fitting in. Ever. I was just sort of ... there. As a teen, that is the last thing anyone wants. We're so impressionable at that age, and high school itself is such a vicious place, you have to find your like tribe or you will be eaten alive.

Me and Amber were sisters from a different mister. It did however always bother me that during freshman year, everyone called her the hot one, and I was the cute one with the personality. It equally bothered her that boys didn't think she had a personality or that she was smart (the whole southern thing didn't help ... no offense, but this is Connecticut peoples. We're very judgmental from the womb.).

But something happened sophmore year - I'm sure it was because I was finally hitting puberty, YAYY!! Finally a B-Cup! Well, only after I stuffed, which is like the dumbest thing on the planet because then dudes think you have tits only to find out you did a switch-a-roo!! Evil! Own what you got youngins! No matter what, you'll never think it is enough.

ANYYWAYYYY ... something happened that year. I just started shedding my skin, and it pissed Amber off ... a lot. I got bit parts in a couple of plays, and boys were definitely starting to take notice. She used to say to me, I created you. You only look this way because of ME!

And she was right to a certain degree. I did take my make up, hair, and clothing tips from her - but there was also genuinely something inside of me that I decided to unleash for the first time. Something inside of me that I let shine. Something inside of me that I let ... free.

She gave me permission to wear heels, and break free from my cardigans and show my rockin little bod. HOLLER!!!

I learned a lot from Amber in those first few years, I very literally loved that girl so much - I idolized her.

At the beginning of junior year, my guidance counselor sat me down and realized that I had too many credits to be a junior.

Wait, what? I said.

Yeah - way to be such a nerd that even school takes notice and calls you out on it.

She asked me, what would you think about graduating early? If you take summer school english, and do a quarter of an independent study in gym - you can be done before senior year.

I very literally took so many classes in school, they advised me to finish early. I kid you not.

I was obviously SUPPERRRR stoked at hearing this news; I had always been an overachiever, and took so many classes out of wanting to just keep my brain busy. But getting out of school an entire year early? Fuck yeah, man! I can follow my dreams and head to NYC!!!!

Yes. Yes. Yes. I said. Sign me up!

I remember running into my class so excited at the news I had just received, and equally excited to tell Amber.

I don't remember exactly where I told her, or what the circumstances were - but I do know she wasn't pleased.

You can't leave me.

I'm not gonna leave you! Well, kinda - but not really like that, and in that way.

She then started to criticize me. Again, I don't remember what she said exactly - but it was more a matter of, you're going to miss out on so much - who leaves their senior year? You have prom, senior skip day, graduation!

I'm still going to walk with the class, and I can still go to prom and all of the activities since I'll technically be enrolled, I just don't have to go to actual classes.

That's weird, she said. Who does that?

I half smiled, still confident in my decision and still eager to pursue my dreams of moving to the big city despite the blatant resentment of my best friend.

Shortly into my junior year, Amber became obsessive. I'm not quite sure how to describe it, but I remember one instance in particular that still makes the hair on the back of my neck stick up.

I had gone to a dinner with my family at my grandparents house, and I chose not to tell Amber where I was going that evening out of genuinely wanting to start to distance myself from her. Yeah, no joke - she knew where I was pretty much at every waking moment. We were in CONSTANT communication due to my blue pager (yes PAGER!!), cell phone, and even my private landline in my room; to say she and I were joint at the hip was a gross understatement.

I was at my grandmothers house when my cell started to blow up - I let the calls go to voicemail.

Then my pager goes off - 911. 911. 911.

Caller ID at the house had indicated she called multiple times there as well. When I got home, I finally checked my voicemail.

You have two new messages:

Message one ... I've been calling you, and you're not answering. Where are YOU!?!?!

Message two ... I just called XXX and found out where you were. I don't know why you didn't tell me you were just at a dinner. Bye.

I remember hearing those messages, and knowing what I had to do - I had to get new friends. I loved Amber. I loved her a lot. Dude, my family loved Amber! They called her their adopted daughter. (Yes, my parentals after a while got over the whole wearing make up and wearing skankier clothing. My grades were still stellar, and I was about to graduate high school. They decided to ease up a bit.)

It wasn't an easy decision to make, but one that I felt in my gut I had to do. Amber also had gone through a tremendous lot over her high school years. Her parents were getting a divorce and it was incredibly. incredibly. incredibly. nasty. The things her parents did were just ... sad. And something that still to this day makes me feel incredibly sorry for her. I can't imagine being in an environment like that during those formative emotional years.

I didn't know what my next doable action is in weaning off a friendship. I didn't want to stop being friends with her, but I knew this hold she had over me had to come to an end. I did the only thing I knew how to do - I drowned myself in school work, and school related activities.

That spring I had a big part in the school play - even got to go out on stage in lingerie and a towel. Super scandalous for a high school play, but haha - made me very. very. popular. Well, when I say popular, I mean like people other than my parents thought I was cool.

I also got to go to a dance that year with a boy that I had a supperrrr crush on. Like SUPPERRR crush on. A total first for me since I didn't ever get to go to those kinda things with a boy. (Hilarious though that we didn't even kiss, nor did we really do anything ever after the dance. We're totes besties on Facebook now - but he had no game ... at all, and I was a massive prude.) Things were definitely looking up for me, and they were completely independent of Amber for the first time in my high school career. 

Junior year ended, and so did my daily conversations with Amber. She had been involved in a pretty serious relationship throughout all of high school, so she kept plenty busy as well. I was looking forward to summer school so I could just put all of this behind me and look forward to my future living in New York City!!! 

On the first day of summer school, I noticed a familiar face in the class - it was this chick that I had math with junior year that was super quiet, but seemed super sweet. I sat down next to her.

Hi, I'm Jen! I know we had math last year, but I just wanted to say hi since we didn't really get to talk.

Hi, I'm Sarah.

Nice to meet you, Sarah!

Sarah and I instantly became new besties. Mostly I'm sure in part because after that first day, she saw me drive away from school in my white convertible that my parents had bought me after I turned 16.

We used to kick it almost every day after school. I was so excited to have a friend outside of Amber, and so excited that we had so much in common!

The way she dressed, the way she talked - we were so much alike. I didn't look up to Sarah in the same way that I did to Amber, but we just had so much fun that I didn't have to. It was different, my skin was already shed.

Dudes, summer school was a BRREEEEEEEEEZZZEEEEEE!!!! Like when I say it was a breeze, you very literally have no idea-  I graduated with 110% average. Was like crazy easy, and honestly a lot of fun.

Sarah had introduced me to a bunch of her friends, and finally I felt like I had a safe way to wean off Amber and not be weird or disrespectful about it.

People are naturally supposed to outgrow each other, right?

Yeah. Wrong.

The next part of this story gets intense. Basically, my grand idea to keep Amber and Sarah separate totally blew up in my face, and resulted in them getting arrested with the following charges accumulated from just the two of them:

one count of second-degree stalking, five counts of second-degree harassment, one count of breach of peace and three counts of threatening.

and ...

two counts of second-degree harassment, two counts of threatening and one count of breach of peace.

Yep, shits about to get real.

#staytuned

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