#NerdsUnite: Want to date a dude over 40 on @okcupid? Just become a trophy chick!

I accidentally did something pretty interesting this weekend on OkCupid that I wanted to share with you guys. 

I have been on OkCupid now for almost two years exactly, so needless to say I have seen it, been there, and done that. (You can read the 103 dates in 9 months thesis over yonder.)

Part of the reason though that I generate so much traffic to my page is that I know how to optimize the OKC search algorithm. Of course this is all on an unofficial basis since I have no affiliation with Okcupid - but I have noticed that anytime you upload a picture, edit your profile, or answer a few extra questions - OKC enlists you as "active" and you will populate higher in their search. (Uploading pics, editing your profile, or answering questions also features you in the Recent Activity on the main page ... so for like 5 minutes you'll appear on OkCupid.com directly and it aggregates based on location. For example: I see all Recent Activity from only Los Angeles members.) 

This is also true btw with when you answer emails. No matter what as a female it is going to be hard to avoid the dreaded "red, replies selectively" stamp - but if you're actively answering at least an email a day OKC will still populate you higher in their search since they deem you as active. 

Totally nuts ... but I have this shit on lock, as anything online isn't magic - it's all just science. 

EIITTHHEEERRRR way ... the other day I uploaded a picture of me from when I was on 5 episodes of Deal or No Deal (the syndicated version) back in 2008. 

Since I was also on The Price is Right I thought it could be kinda cheeky to be coined as the game show chick to all the nerdy boys. 

What I got was not one ... not two ... not three ... not FOUR ... but FIVE messages from dudes over the age of 40 (one was 52!) all within the span of 48 hours. 

I'm not mad at the older age bracket, but I specifically say that I seek daters ages 26-36 (I have to change that since now I am 27 and don't want to date younger.). 

Normally on OKC I'd get one or maybe two messages a MONTH from someone over the age of 40, but never ... and I mean NEEEVVEERRRRRRRR in two years have I received that many messages. The only variable in this scenario was my Deal or No Deal picture. 

What does this tell me about guys on OKC? Those over the age of 40 (conscious or not) definitely seek the trophy chick. 

I specifically don't have too many "model"-ey pictures on OKC because it's not who I am, it's something that I did and genuinely didn't like it. HOWEEVVEERRRRR by making that one minor adjustment which I was positioning more from the game show angle it opened me up to an entirely new bracket of OKC duderinos. 

I'm too opinionated to be a trophy chick but who knows, maybe I should start dating guys in their 40s. The 20s and 30s haven't faired that well. HMMMMMMMMMM 

Either way, then last night I changed the DOND picture to my default and didn't see much of a change - in fact I get more views with my standard default and not the DOND pic. 

Interesting observation! Can't be mad at the dudes. Mid life crisises, FTW! 

#nerdsunite

Are you on OKC? Me too! Send me a message!

Fun with #OkCupid: Well this is just ... douchey

Looky looky the email I got on OKC last night ...

Flattery will get you everywhere ... but for reals, this email sparked my interest enough to check out his profile which lead me to this ...

Oh my cheese between the knees ... are you fucking kidding me?

"I'm the guy you contact at the very end of all of this above."

::yawn:: 

I very very very honestly didn't even mean to go out on 103 dates in 9 months. It happened accidentally while I was couch surfing for a year, and I genuinely didn't even think about turning it into anything until I did the 96 dates in 8 months reflection piece. (It was only after that that my branding and marketing brain kicked into overdrive and I realized I could package it.)

I have talked to countless relationship bloggers in the last year, and they have all said the same thing - dating teaches you about you. HOW IS THIS A BAD THING??

I had lived 25 years at that point confused as to why I was attracting the douchiest guys into my life, so I then set out on a mission to find someone new based not on looks or chance of meeting - but rather a mathematical algorithm. I never ever published the compatibility pre-requisite, so no one knew what was up - and in NINE MONTHS I learned more than I had in 25 years and THROUGH THAT POSTING came the attraction of my Modern Day Shaman @realityadjacent who I have worked intensely with now for almost 8 months. 

Dating as much as I have absolutely absolutely absolutely changed my life. I found a calling in taking guys in the field and helping them get the girl - and this shit is my jam. Judge all you want you judgey mcjudge-erson, but I'm so thankful every day that I was ballsy enough to even try something like that and fearlessly document my findings.

What in YOU kind sir wants to "be the guy at the end of it?" Sounds a little knight in shining armor-ish does it not?

(And FTR, I didn't allow dudes to buy me dinner. I said if you buy me a beer, I'll give you a hug.)

Abre los ojos, mi amigo.

#thatisall

Are you on OKC? Me too. Message me!

Fun with #OkCupid: 3 different emails 3 different responses

First up, if you haven't read my OKC profile - you can check it out over yonder. Might make some sense to the things guys reply to, haha. But for reals, these are all actual emails I've received recently, and my actual responses back to them. It is through this transparent experience that I hope you all can take away some knowledge on what works and what doesn't in the hopes of making your online dating experiences that much more fanschmastically awesome. YAYYYY ONLINE DATING YAYYY!!! K ... cool ... here we go ...

Emails like this are EXACTLY why in our live stage show we have dramatic interpretations of OKC emails. Next show is THIS FRIDAY btw. (see flyer below)

FYI: We WON'T be doing a May show due to a lot of people traveling ... soooooo if you wanna get in on the fun gotta get yo' butts there Friday night! 

Either way, that email was BS so let's just move on ... 

I don't know why, but anytime someone closes with "hope to hear back from you!" or "looking to hear from you" - it turns me off. Of COURSE you hope to hear from me, isn't that the whole purpose of online dating? I know these dudes are obviously just doing it to be super polite, but every freaking time I read that I feel like the dude's balls are in a jar somewhere and his tail is in between his legs saying ... well ... I hope you like what I have to say ::runnsss while shouting bye:: Maybe I'm cynical and interpreting it wrong, but I've never liked it. tweet me if you agree or disagree ladies, curious on this. 

I think a much stronger close would have been check it out, it's soooo good. Maybe we can watch it together with a bottle of wine? I'm not quite sure if that is a "bottle of wine" kinda movie, but it DEF leaves things on a stronger note. 

Actual Response: None

::smh:: I don't know how much more of the single life I can take. 

Actual Response: None

There ya go nerderinos. Best of luck out there!!!

#love

Fun with #OkCupid: 3 different emails ... 3 different responses

First up, if you haven't read my OKC profile - you can check it out over yonder. Might make some sense to the things guys reply to, haha. But for reals, these are all actual emails I've received recently, and my actual responses back to them. It is through this transparent experience that I hope you all can take away some knowledge on what works and what doesn't in the hopes of making your online dating experiences that much more fanschmastically awesome. YAYYYY ONLINE DATING YAYYY!!! K ... cool ... here we go ...

Fact: Online dating is about the chick, not the dude. Women are in the position of power as we are the minority on these sites. (I'm actually genuinely curious what the male to female ratio is on each site. They prolly don't release it, but someone somewhere has to at least have a guesstimate - hit me up! I'm curious! @Jenfriel) Do not ever, and I mean EEVVEERRR message a chickadee like this - it's incredibly lame.

A more appropriate message would have been if he picked ONE detail from my profile and asked me to elaborate.

Ex: I see that you like the Matrix, what are your thoughts on the sequels?

Perfect. Concise. Period end of sentence.

The above email though? No bueno.

Actual Response: None

FTR, don't ever ... EEVVEERRR create an online dating profile and leave out the picture. On OKC you MIGHHTTT be able to get away with it if you answer enough of the questions and just so happen to have a high compatibly - but it's still not good. Take a picture yourself, or have a friend do it. Leave out the "in the mirror myspace pose" just have a genuine smile and frame it the way a headshot is framed. Don't have any hats or glasses on - it strictly just needs to be your face. Let the female judge your attractiveness, just make sure that you have a genuine smile!! 

Actual Response: None

I normally don't condone cursing in the first email, but this guy and I are matched pretty high - and this caught me off guard - something that doesn't happen a lot on online dating websites.

Well done.

Actual Response: hahaha hello.

There ya go nerderinos. Best of luck out there!!!

#love

Fun with #OkCupid: A dude in the OKC corral (Reasons Why I Am Single)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Kenny. We e-met through OKC and although we've never gone out on a date, he was inspired by my documentation of my online search for love, that he wanted to come on board and provide male insight into OKC. So here you go ... and now we're here ... HIT IT KENNY!!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @KennethArthurS

Reflection and self-evaluation are always key when trying to understand why you are in the situation that you are in.  It doesn't matter the context, whether it be why you have a certain job, a certain hobby, or a certain partner, it only matters that you should probably understand WHY you are in that situation.  If you know the WHY then that is when you can start making adjustments to set yourself back in the direction that you want to be headed in.

My current job is "IT Guy that moonlights as a writer" and I know WHY I am in that situation and so I know what I can do to switch the words "IT Guy" and "Writer."

My current hobbies include sports, movies, television, and drinking and I have no desire to change any of that.

My current relationship status is single and my current partner is Netflix.  WHY is that?  WHAT could I do to adjust that?  I've detailed a few reasons as to things that I have done recently that could explain just what has kept me on the market.  Here are a few:

I ate a Kid Cuisine for dinner -

It seemed like a fun idea at the time.  I guess what makes it even worse is that the Kid Cuisine was located in the "50% discounted food" section of Von's (Safeway) so who knows what was really wrong with that microwavable hot dog meal.  But it had a penguin on the box!  A PENGUIN!  And one of the side items was "gummy bears."  Who really WOULDN'T jump at that opportunity?

I ate Sweet Corn Mash from El Pollo Loco with the lid in my car -

I'm not proud, okay?  I really wanted to eat the sweet corn mash and I wouldn't be home for another FIVE MINUTES so I used the lid of the sweet corn mash to scoop some into my stupid mouth.  It was GOOD.

I fall asleep to old episodes of real crime stories on Netflix -

Actually right now I fall asleep to episodes of "Disorderly Conduct: Video On Patrol" and it's amazing.  Seriously the best cop videos I have ever seen.  It was on Spike in 2006 and I don't know if it was cancelled or if they just used up all of the best videos from 1990-2006 in their 26-episode run, which would not surprise me.  Almost all of the videos should be viral.

I have several old shampoo bottles in my shower -

I'm doing myself a favor and just saying "several" when the truth is that there are probably ten.  I don't know, okay?  Who keeps a giant trash bin next to their shower?  I keep a small trash bin and now I've over-exerted myself to the point where the 10 shampoo bottles wouldn't fit in there.  I'll throw them out tonight, okay?

I'll do laundry the day after I run out of clean clothes -

Fuck!

I buy new clothes once a year, at best -

Is this really a big deal?  I hate fucking shopping.  Every once in awhile I'll stop at ROSS and pick up a few items.  For some reason I have no problem going to the grocery store every single fucking day, but I can't stand buying clothes.  Well, I love having new clothes but the act of picking them out really bugs the shit out of me.  If I won the lottery, getting a "Personal Shopper" would come before paying off my bills.

There are several sports days a year in which I am unreachable -

So fucking what?

Lunchables is a meal to me -

In relation to the Kid Cuisine story, I eat Lunchables on the regular.  I don't eat KC's on the regular, but I will have a Lunchable at least once a week.  I remember when I was a kid, this would have been what I called "the dream life."  I'm just living the dream, motherfucker.

"I know this Snickers bar is in my bed somewhere." -

Yeah, I said that recently.  There are at least seven problems in my life associated with that one statement.  I think I could have probably just used that one statement rather than the previous eight and it would have summed up the entire reason as to why I am single.  

But you know what?  That shit is funny to me.  I am not necessarily embarrassed by it because if I saw it on a TV show or movie, it would make me laugh.  I would laugh AT that person and instead I am just laughing at myself.  Go ahead and laugh at me too, because that would also be funny to me.  I'm tired of really giving a shit about whether or not people laugh at me.  As Danny Glover would say, "I am indeed quite advanced in age for this shit."

So, there are nine reasons as to why I am currently single.  Why nine?  Because I really don't give a crap if I made it a round number, I just listed some things that seemed interesting to me.  I guess number 10 would be "I don't really care for round numbers."  

Will I change?  Other than throwing out the shampoo bottles and keeping Almond Snicker bars out of my bed, I am perfectly happy with myself right now.  I never said that it really bothered me that it was single or that I would be changing myself so that I could get into a relationship, I just wanted to show you some reasons as to WHY.

#thatisall

Want some more from Kenny? Follow him on twitter over yonder!

and don't forget to check out his blog!! <----- good shit!