#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @scandalous
When I say I'm a "bartender" I mean that people tend to tell me their dirty little secrets. With a moniker like mine that shouldn't be surprising. However, while I have a tendency to inadvertently attract actual drunks, this one takes the cake.
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's DivideByFive
It hasn't even been a week and I'm already seeing hilarious social mores' on this website. From my point of view most women on here are out of their damn mind. You people watched WAAAAAAAAAYYY too many Disney movies as a kid.
First off: This is a DATING website. NO MAN is interested in being your friend. At least not at first. If you think anything different you obviously have one of those brace faced, nice guys that come over to rub your feet and tell you how great you are. NEWS FLASH: That guy wants to do you too. He's just really patient. If a guy spends a day with you and you both, mutually, decide you're not into each other but have a lot in common, then you can be friends. This is the one and only exception to this rule.
Second: Expect forward emails and a lot of them. You are on here too. This means you accept that meeting people in public places is difficult now and your looking for a change. You're not gods gift to men even if you get 1000 emails in a day. I look at it like my business. Right now there are very few properties on the market. Agents spam offers to dozens of brokers in hopes to get one accepted. This doesn't mean that there are as many buyers as there are offers. There may only be 1 buyer for every 10 offers placed in a day. In other words...you're getting 1 of 10, 20, maybe 100 emails that guy spammed out hoping to get his face in front of you. The typical email response is 4/10 according to OKCupid.com. Knowing what I know about sales I'd say the actual date/email ratio has got to be 5/100 for the average guy.
Third: If your profile says "loves to travel" we know you are a gold digger. We're not going on a date that costs more than $20 for the first 3 dates. There's NO WAY I'm gonna pay for your meal and drinks so you can leave to fuck the guy you met last week you liked better.
Fourth: I don't care how hot you are. If you are boring and stupid you're going home. I know you spent the last 10 years of your life getting by on looks alone but we're grown ups now. Some of us actually care about politics, transforming tech, world issues, etc. Keep that in mind when you are crying yourself to sleep, lonely, wondering why there are no nice guys out there. Oh, there are plenty of them but Karma is coming back with a vengeance for all those years you put your high heels through their hearts.
To summarize: Take the time to complete at least 100 of the questions OKCupid.com asks. They actually make a HUGE difference in your results. I've met a few great girls on here in less then a week because I cared enough to read about them and make sure we were at least 75% compatible. It's like John Cusack said in High Fidelity, "It's the little things that matter, the music you like, the movies you watch, world views, etc." Like it or not, opposites DO NOT attract. You just put up with each others shit for the hot sex and flaming debate only to burn out in, what is usually, a huge mess of a fight.
Click here to read DivideByFive's profile on OKCupid, and drop him a nerdy little love note.
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's DivideByFive
Your twitter post about creeps viewing your page too much peeked my interest. This page works on a complicated logarithm. If your a frequent browser and don't mix up your search criteria often you could look like a freak to a couple of girls. Usually the ones that are on the first few pages of your search results. No, not everyone has a memory like you and can remember every page they looked at. I've been treating this site just like a sales business. I hit it hard, follow up on leads, and try to convert. That's not to say my emails and responses are not genuine. I figure you get what you put in and I'm putting a lot of effort into meeting interesting people. My responsive ratio is about 50% and my conversion rate is about 25%. Yup, I'm a sales nerd.
Also, sales strategy is to save your best leads and return to them. Someone using this site correctly should be dropping all the people they email into their "favorites" (terrible name, may I suggest "connections"). This way all their updates show up in your feed. Unfortunately the feed is not always up to date. All too often is shows someone you emailed last night posted 4 new photos today. When in actuality they did it 4 days ago and now you look like a fuck tard for rechecking their page. You can't blame a someone for taking an interest. Their is so little info on this site that any new info is very desirable. I'd sure like to know if someones profile now says, "I like being shit on" but didn't say it last week. If I missed this info before a date it could turn into a disastrous evening. I'd like to avoid that at all costs.
Browsing anonymously
Positive: You can look at everyone's page and they wont know your are there. I hate the idea of not returning an email. I'd rather not accidentally click on someone I am not interested in only to have them email me the next day because I showed up on their visitor page.
Negative: Your visitor history is blocked if you are browsing anonymously. This only bothers me because it represent a missed opportunity. If someone has a totally complete profile but has not answered any questions I'm probably not going to see them in my results. Unfortunately OKC doesn't let you search my distance only. What if the girl of my dreams lives 5 miles away but she really hates multiple choice questions. She may end up in someone elses "quickmatch" page, go on a shitty date, and then dump the site. Thanks imaginary guy of no ones dreams.
Spare me please. I know I have bad grammar and spelling. That's why I dropped out of law school. You can also check out my journal if you want more of the same "insight".
Just for fun - Reason to fill out your entire profile: see below
dividebyfive909 ---> JennyKameya
Title: fake
Is this another BS profile?
JennyKameya --->dividebyfive909
ya, so don't reply.
dividebyfive909 ---> JennyKameya
awesome, maybe a tree will fall on you today. mmkthanksbye
Looky looky the email I just got on OKCupid ...
I love this email!!! cute without seeming too processed - sweet - to the point ... which I CLEARLY state I am a BIGGG fan of.
Even though OKCupid says we aren't necessarily compatible, I'm totally giving him a shot.
YAY!!! #NerdsUnite
The following is an actual email I just received on OKCupid.com
HAHAHA!!! I actually just realized I read one of the responses wrong ... dude, cut a chick some slack - I've been responding to every email and I'm at 70% mailbox capacity after less than a week. But come onnnnn ... full on retarded?? Really? Where do things even process in your head to even REMOTELY go there ...
Thursday, July 29, 2010 at 4:12PM