#MovingOn: Heartbreak in the key of Adele

Editor's Note: Jordan Mizell is a down to earth Kansas livin nerd, who like us all - tends to wear his heart a bit on his sleeve. He shares with you now his journey through heartbreak in the key of Adele. *sigh*

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi

Adele is haunting me. Ever since my last relationship. Honestly, I don't know if I can call it a relationship. I will admit she drove me insane and I ended up committed to her. Still I'll stick by the assumption on my part that it was a relationship. That aside, the last time we were together before she kissed me goodbye and meant it, she introduced me to a musical artist named Adele. Now like most of you, I had heard Adele's music on the radio and so in the back of my mind I knew I had heard it before she had introduced me to it. However, I had never really listened to her music… if you know what I mean. Hearing and listening are different things. She told me to close my eyes and just listen. She said she wanted to watch me fall in love. I asked her, “haven't you witnessed that these last 4 months?” In retrospect possibly a damning thing to say - hind sight and all that jazz of my friends. So I listened and she was right this artist was amazing so soulful and powerful. So much raw untempered emotion in her words and voice. You cannot conceal the levels of passion and pain this woman brings to her music. When I got home I listened to both of her albums again and again. See at this time I was... well... unaware of my impending doom. Dun dun duuuuun.

So later that week when I got the call, yes the call. It would have happened in person, but there's like a two hour drive and neither of us would have wanted to make that drive, after that talk. So a call worked out fine, still way better than a text. The next day I had three teeth extracted, a friend threaten to commit suicide and ended up in jail, and another old friend died. It was a hard weekend. So I turned to my most recent discovery thanks to this girl. It's as if she knew I would need a soulful fixer. See Adele is great for breaking up if you think there is a chance of getting back together. I thought and hoped for a chance of renewed interest. To be honest there are vestiges left in my heart that will always hope for that. Here in lies the most damning thing ever about Adele's music. It's all about how she will do anything to get back together with this person. How she knows that everything could work out perfectly. How they were the best together and nothing will ever come close to what they had. She sings about how much better life would be if the couple that was, could be again. This becomes a problem after the first week of silence. I mean I should have been listening to Yael Naim, Lilly Allen, or Ingrid Michaelson. All artists that are positive for building back yourself motivation.

No dice though. I was listening to Adele and she was tearing at my soul like a dog tears at annoying stitches they got after a surgery at the vets office. I'd like to say I learned my lesson quickly and moved on to lighter music. Still that's not the way these stories ever go. I may have been a little down trodden for a while and good 'ole Adele keeps you down like no other. I cannot deny how absolutely beautiful her voice is. So it took about a month and I was able to pull myself away from her soul crushing lyrics and sympathetic voice, moving on to new music and new bands that I found. You can't just escape Adele like that though. Oh no! She is currently heavily played on the radio, not just any station either.  She is one of those artists that can bridge any category almost. Throw her in pop music, jazz, country even. Hell her songs are even being remixed and used in house music. She fits and because she fits there is no escaping her. At work, at the gym, driving somewhere and I even have her on my own personal music player. I ought to take her off that, but she's just so damn good. I can't exclude her from the countless other artist I have on there. I can only hope her songs don't come on back to back. She in fact usually ends up back to back with other songs that always bring me back to the love I had for this girl.

Let’s drop some lines from Adele's lyrics and examine just what draws our crushed souls into the meat grinder over and over again. Starting with, “Best for Last”

Why is it every time I think I've tried my hardest

It turns out it ain't enough, you're still not mentioning love

What am I supposed to do to make you want me properly?

I'm taking these chances and getting nowhere

And though I'm trying my hardest you go back to her

And I think that I know things may never change

I'm still hoping one day I might hear you say 

There you have it that's not... “OH wait” no that's very much so we could be great together because I'm trying everything in my power and yet you still won't accept my love. So as the person that gets broken up with and is stuck with hope, lyrics like these do not facilitate moving on - at all. Maybe that's a fluke let’s try a different song. Surely, they aren't all tempered in lost hope. Let’s move on to, “Chasing Pavements”

Should I give up,

Or should I just keep chasin' pavements?

Even if it leads nowhere

Or would it be a waste

Even if I knew my place

Should I leave it there

Should I give up,

Or should I just keep chasin' pavements

Even if it leads nowhere

Yeah this one's easily about moving on... NO! It's about constantly landing on your face in attempt after attempt to tell the one you love, about your love and hope they stop denying you. Do you know the definition of insanity? It's doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results… as the local AA/NA chapter would tell us.  Speaking of crazy! “Crazy for you”

Pacing floors and opening doors,

Hoping you'll walk through

And save me boy,

Because I'm too crazy for you.

Crazy for you

Illustrating just how insane we go for the ones we love. Especially, if that love is labored for and not returned. We are driven to madness. I remember crying and having panic attacks. I mean I'm an emotional person, but never THAT emotional. I had no idea what was going on. I had never had a panic attack. Those are fiendish, I just knew everything inside of me felt like it was collapsing. It became physically draining. Still I labored on with nothing but hope and always absent a “yes” or” no.” I was lost at sea without a light house to show me the rocks that were coming up quickly. Let's try “Melt my Heart to Stone.”

And I hear your words that I made up

You say my name like there could be an us

I best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love

I'm the only one in love

Oh that's better at least this one's admitting she's the only one in love. So there's a chance to move on from the wake of collapsing dreams. Wait for it... Nope! It continues.

Each and every time I turn around to leave

I feel my heart begin to burst and bleed

So desperately I try to link it with my head

But instead I fall back to my knees

As you tear your way right through me

I forgive you once again

Without me knowing

You've burnt my heart to stone

You see there just isn't any escape here. She'll turn on you so fast and bring you back to the hope and desire you displaced - like the Titanic when it sank to the bottom of the ocean. Showing just what horrors have been unleashed. Hopes floating to the surface and laying dead in the waves.There are no scars from this only a heart of stone. I would cut and paste from the song, “Make you feel my love,” but I'd have to paste the whole damn song. It's one whole homage to how great two people could be if given the chance. Let's knock out her radio hit, “Rolling in the Deep.”

The scars of your love remind me of us

They keep me thinking that we almost had it all

The scars of your love, they leave me breathless

I can't help feeling

We could have had it all

I see a theme. Do you see a theme? Seriously, all these lyrics only point to getting back with the person who threw you away or kept you on the side like a consolidation prize. Hoping that just the memory of what you had would bring them back to you. Clearly illustrated in, “Don't you Remember.”

Gave you the space so you could breathe,

I kept my distance so you would be free,

And hope that you find the missing piece,

To bring you back to me,

That was something I did. I gave her space and left her be. We all go through these trials hoping our diligence will pay off. In, “Set Fire to the Rain.” The very first song of her's I heard she brings it back with all sorts of pain again, admitting defeat. As if there is no chance to win. That your heart is lost forever and there is no saving it. Salvation is off the table.

But there's a side to you

That I never knew, never knew.

All the things you'd say

They were never true, never true,

And the games you play

You would always win, always win.

So how does Adele move on from defeat... She doesn't, she goes on looking for someone just like the person that left her. As illustrated in, “Someone Like You.”

Never mind

I'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you too

"Don't forget me," I begged

"I'll remember," you said

Sometimes it lasts in love

But sometimes it hurts instead.

Sometimes it lasts in love

But sometimes it hurts instead

So that's Adele for you. She's the most detrimental musician to listen to if you have any hope of reconciliation. She won't allow you to move on and even if you can move on, you are looking for someone like the last person you fell in love with. You are searching for heart break. You are searching for the same thing all over again. So really you aren't moving on, you are moving right back into that fire pit because to find someone just like that person would be a constant reminder that you lost the girl of your dreams. Just promise me as a collective audience you will never listen to Adele after someone you deeply care for breaks up with you. I wish I could conclude this by saying I moved on easily and that everything was alright and that it was a mental victory. That I learned so much about myself and how to avoid situations like this in the future. I guess that is all left to be seen. The world keeps on turning and I am in a better place now than I was a month age. The pain of what might have been peeks into my life here and there. Still, the lesson I am taking away from this is once you gave your all you can never allow yourself to pursue that person again. If they come for you it will be because they want you back. I will move on and life will offer me new and amazing things to experience. Of that I am sure. Still think through any relationship you are in and who is doing the giving and if that is almost equal. With that I'll leave you with true advice for those of you lost in the endless circle of hope or stuck in the friend zone. Let Adele open your eyes just a bit.

I'm tired of trying

Your teasing ain't enough

Fed up of biding your time

When I don't get nothing back

And for what, and for what, and for what

When I don't get nothing back

Boy I'm tired of trying

Your teasing ain't enough

Fed up of biding your time

When I don't get nothing back

And for what, and for what, and for what

When I don't get nothing back

Boy I'm tired

#nerdsunite

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