#NerdsUnite: Woot! Shirts

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan. He was one of the first writers here on TNTML and he's a really rad mofo. I forget how we first started talking - but he lives allllllll the way over in Kansas and wants to talk to you about life from his side of the monitor in the keyword of nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JORDAN!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi

I can't remember when I first was linked to www.woot.com, but it in a way it changed my life. I rarely buy any of their woot deals. However, I have become quite fond of their T-shirt daily deal. Every day, I check to see what the new artistic design is on their shirt site. My closet is overflowing with T-shirts for every occasion now. I certainly, don't buy every single shirt I see, but it seems at least once a month one comes around that I just love. I don't often do promotions for anything here, but there is something fascinating about these shirts in particular. For one, aside from the woot community, no one else really wears them, which gives them an exclusive and inclusive feeling to them. I’m sure I could go to Hot Topic and find some funny shirt, but I know I would run into a few other people that are wearing the same shirt and that’s just awkward. Bumping into other people wearing a Woot! shirt though, that’s just fantastic. We beam with pride over our purchase and exchange stories. This brings me to the point of this article.

We know our own. It's weird, but even if we didn't buy the shirt we can recognize it as a Woot! shirt because like I said, we check the site every day for its new merch. I can’t tell you the number of times I have stopped someone in the street or at a bar and opened with a point of the finger and just uttered the word, “Woot!” It’s our calling card. Their shirts are both fantastic and artistic. I realize there are many T-Shirt communities online. Threadless, Think Geek, and many others I’m sure. It’s just that Woot! has always had my heart. They deal in the brand of Nerd I most closely associate with. They in large part interact really well with their community. Each shirt is accompanied with a description, a short story on the artist, and usually where and when you should wear the shirt. There have been many a math shirt I didn’t get at all. I’m not very into math jokes. Those shirts have a very particular audience though. I tend to get shirts based around video games and literature. Their interaction with their community is stunning though. They have Derby Draw offs, where they suggest a theme and people create shirts for that theme that are then voted on. I must admit I have a dream to one day design a Woot! Shirt but I always forget to check when the Derby is up and running. It helps to get in early.

Furthermore, the shirts themselves are just super comfortable. I have given so many of these shirts as gifts. Usually, when they do the random shirt I’ll get 2 my size as they are half the price and if I have them already or just don’t fancy them I’ll give them to friends. With the general price of the shirts at 12 bucks shipping included that’s one hell of a deal. Especially, for someone my size. I will usually wear them out to give them a test run with my peers. For instance I got one shirt: It was Red with and it had an excited robot on it. I said to myself, “Man! I don’t think I would ever wear this shirt.” Still, I gave it a test run. Walking down the street a random passerby said, “Hey man! Sweet shirt.” I thought to myself, “Well maybe it’s not so bad.” So I would wear it more often, always getting compliments on it. I dubbed it my lucky robot shirt and lucky it was. I met Jason Bateman in that shirt. In fact that shirt has been on many adventures with me. Just saying always give the shirt a test run.

In summary, this may not be your community, but I definitely urge you to give it a shot and see if any of the shirts they have for sale tickle your fancy.

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Jordan on the twittah!

#NerdsUnite: Allowing the dust to settle on "settling"

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan. He was one of the first writers here on TNTML and he's a really rad mofo. I forget how we first started talking - but he lives allllllll the way over in Kansas and wants to talk to you about life from his side of the monitor in the keyword of nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JORDAN!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi

If you had talked to me at the end of last year you may have found me slightly defeated. I had only recently turned 31 and at my age I was under a safe assumption I would have to choose settling in the love department for whomever fancied me next. I felt like the time for being picky and looking for what I really wanted in a girl was becoming folly. I know 31 isn’t old. In this town where the population constantly turns over with new 18 - 22 year olds, it’s ancient. The places made for a few generations older than the norm have a population of people much the same as me. Trying out the other elder youth in the area hoping to find someone that fits the bill and you can settle for. With only a handful of bars for us well the pickings are both meager and usually jaded with heartbreak, failed romances, and the baggage of lives that blossomed and then fell victim to the short love affairs that we can get so wrapped up in our youth. Add to that the wonderful ideal of the person you are hoping to find having already dated a friend of yours which is so often the case. You settle because being alone is something you accept, but not something you want.

So when I found myself falling for a new girl and it was finally one that was falling for me as well; I placed a small amount of hope that even if it doesn’t feel fully right, even if I am not super happy with who it is I have found myself with... well I’ll just suck it up and settle because in this town you just don’t know what else may come along. I realize it’s a dark feeling to have and one I’m sure many others have shared as short term love affairs have bloomed and faded year in and year out. See I have always fought hard to get the girls I wanted to be with. No matter how broken or crazy they may have been. I accept anyone with any past because that past made them just who they are now. Still their issues would loom and that darkness would encase their hearts leaving not a light to be let through. Certainly not my heart. Try as they might: they would all tell me they wished they could fall in love with me, but something was holding them back.

So enter my most recent romance. While it is still in its infancy the progression isn’t a grind, I’m not having to fight to hold on to her, and I am not feeling run dry with misconceptions and doubt. I am happy and that to me is altogether something scary. It’s not something I have really ever had to deal with. I mean in life I am generally happy, but in love rarely have I been just content. The girl I assumed I would be settling for surprised me. To such a degree I wasn’t ready for the reality of the situation. I have found myself with a girl that seems to fit like a puzzle piece. Her corners are cut to mold into me almost flawlessly. Of course there are issues, there will always be issues, or else it would be too easy and in that regard boring. I hate boring. So does she. The more I get to know about her, the more she seems to align herself with a list I had created of things I would absolutely love in a girl. More to the point I have found that I am not settling at all. I’m not just giving up because this, “could” work. I am excited because this, “is” working. I am invigorated with the passion we are equally giving each other, with the independence we have allowed each other to have, and with the drive to keep each of our friends so we don’t become that couple that drops off the face of the earth into each other. What I have found seems to be the right path and I haven’t put on rose tinted glasses to secure my belief in this. I was highly skeptical of the whole situation. As anyone at my age would be. I had my own baggage that poisoned me with doubt in that what I was finding was reality.

That poison has found an antidote and slowly I am being healed. Ages of could bes, and what ifs, which I had only recently laid to rest have been dealt with. She is a partner, an equal party that’s just as quirky and crazy as I am. We have so many differences that I have loved getting to know. In that we each bring something to the table. We aren’t the same and we aren’t so different. It’s the Goldilocks of love. While some in the past were too crazy, too jealous, too broke, too closed off... this one is feeling just right. I’m sure we’ll have our fair share of mountains to climb between the two of us, hurdles to jump, and issues to deal with. I just feel like this is one of the first relationships I have been in, that has positive forward momentum.

So as my disbelief fades and my acceptance of happiness seems to take hold. I begin to hope again. Hopes a dangerous thing you know. If keeps you alive in the darkest of times and lets you shine ever brighter in the best of times. I intend to be just the very best that I can be for this girl and make sure to keep the communication alive and well. I intend to see this through with less and less fear of failure and know that just maybe things can be good in life all round. There doesn’t need to be a counter weight of awful to balance out the good in your life. I am very much so looking forward to being both lucky in life and in love. Because settling for the best isn’t settling at all. It’s achieving all the goals you have fought so hard to have. Everyday's an adventure and if you never try you will never know just what could have happened. As Wayne Gretzky said, “You will miss 100% of the shots you never take.” Start taking chances and living life. Regrets are for those that fear moving forward and actually living life.

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Jordan on the twittah!

#NerdsUnite:The What If? (The What If? Part 8 - The END!)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan. He was one of the first writers here on TNTML and he's a really rad mofo. I forget how we first started talking - but he lives allllllll the way over in Kansas and wants to talk to you about life from his side of the monitor in the keyword of nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JORDAN!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi

After the Yes, I was pretty pumped for a few days, knowing Ophelia though I wasn’t going to call a lot, or text. She hated over communication, which was one of her reasons for not choosing me in the first place. The whole “Independent Woman Thing”. So a few days go by, I hazard a call. No reply. Well having gotten a yes, I kinda figured that might mean more talking. So I wait a few days more. No call. Now I have a strict rule about calling and texting. Never call more than once a day, never text more than twice without answer. If someone doesn’t respond then, they don’t want to. Simple as that, it’s the dawn of a new age. Sometimes texts don’t go through, but if you call and leave a message you know that went through. I let another few days pass and I call her again. Nothing. Seriously, miffed at this point, I then go about my business. At the bars that night with a group of friends she calls. I leap out of my chair and ran outside to answer.

She sounds slightly annoyed. I grew very perceptive of her tonation and mannerisms. She starts with, “So we need to talk...”, and every guy in the world knows that crushing line. She started talking and we talked for an hour about her and I and how she really felt about everything. She talked at length about how she just really couldn’t make herself feel the way I wanted her to feel for me. I said I understood. She went on to tell me how I’m everything she should want and yet she just doesn’t feel it. So I asked her, “You don’t think you will ever feel this way?” She replied, “No.” I told her, well that’s all I need. She immediately went into a I’m so sorry, and all that jazz. I just said, “Look that’s all I needed, that’s all I ever wanted. A clear yes or no. You always gave me, not now, I’m not ready, maybe in the future, or soon.” I wish I had used the lemon rule then.  It would have saved me a year, and a whole mess of heartache. She asked if I was Ok and I replied, “I have never felt so free in all my life.” Which may have sounded a little over joyous. Dear audience for 11 years this girl had been at the back of my mind. The great, “WHAT IF?” She had been carried through every relationship I ever had, and that whole year kept me terminally in a love coma. Free was the understatement. I had finally, gotten an answer to a question that had haunted me forever. Once again it was still a NO and rejection sucks. However, I no longer had this cloud over me. This hesitant part of me telling myself there may be something better that I had missed.

Going back to the bar my friend Sully caught me and asked if everything was alright. She’s one of my closest friends and has always been there for me. I said, “Actually... Yes. It’s over.” I just breathed in and let it pass. Just like that the ball and chain of wonder was shed and I walked with a lighter step. Freedom has its costs, sometimes it’s not getting what you want. Not getting what you want isn’t fun. In the long run. If you are so focused on getting one thing you miss things that are right before your eyes. You blind yourself to the wonders that people hold around you. Your pursuit becomes your passion, and your true passions are left out to dry. I will never abandon my true passions again; I will never set myself aside for a single person forsaking all other options. I am whole again and I intend to keep it that way. This may have been a very bumpy road to travel, but I am very glad I saw it through to the end. No more what if? I never have to have that shadow over my soul again.

To the girl in this story, I don’t wish her ill will. She didn’t rob me of anything, I stole this time from myself. I only wish she had been more honest with me at the very start. We were friends and while I still think many of our best relationships are born in friendship, some just aren’t meant to be. So there you have it. My greatest heartbreak. It feels good finally getting it out of me. Maybe the next girl I’m with will enjoy my dedication to her, my art, and writing that she inspires. Maybe she’ll like to communicate and find a love for both my soul and heart. That’s the girl I’m seeking. That will be the girl I settle down for. Until then let’s get back behind this crazy adventure that has become my life.

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Jordan on the twittah!

#NerdsUnite:The What If? (Part 7- Falling for the 5th Time, #facepalm)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan. He was one of the first writers here on TNTML and he's a really rad mofo. I forget how we first started talking - but he lives allllllll the way over in Kansas and wants to talk to you about life from his side of the monitor in the keyword of nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JORDAN!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi

The whole process for shooting a commercial is hurry up and wait. I stayed in outfit just sitting around waiting to take a picture, do this for a camera, or do that. So when we got out that night rather late the guy they had me roomed up with was... unsavory. So I was in no rush to hang out with him. Ophelia said she would meet me in Old Town. It’s a lot like Aggiville for Wichita. We went out to eat at a place called, “The Anchor” Great food. We tripped over the formal pleasantries and afterward walked around looking for a place to Drink. Finding a few we gave birth to new confidence through the bottle. Our conversations lengthened and we finally started hashing out our drama. I was very honest with her about the whole situation. She told me the reason she wanted the Bartender was because he was emotionally distant and un-invested. The tone of her voice said... too distant. The night was coming to a close and we ended going back to her place. Upon entering I saw my art and letters all out on the table. Obviously, she had read through and reminisced about us. Truly, there was no way she knew I would come back to her place that night. She led me to her bedroom and told me not to get any ideas. With a smirk we laid down together and cuddled right back up. Like, we always had. The way she held me, spoke to her affection for me. I asked her about all my stuff on the table. She told me how much she missed us. I stayed till the next night and before I left she told me she loved me, just not the way I wanted her to. I thanked her for finally saying out loud that she loved me. She responded by saying I always knew she loved me. I did, but it was nice to hear. Keep in mind we still didn’t have sex. As much as I would have loved tool, I don’t cheat, nor do I sleep with girls in relationships.

It wasn’t more than a few weeks after that when the relationship with the Bartender ended. Obviously, I didn’t see that coming. Note the sarcasm all over those words. She invited me back to help her move out from her place. I said sure. That night when we hit the bars she and I danced, she grabbed my hands again, and kissed me again. I was confused. It had taken me a long time to turn my heart off to her and here she was turning it on again.  That night in bed she told me she couldn’t promise me anything. I told her I never asked her to.

We picked up right where we left off before. This time I was very wary of anything. My guard was up, WAY UP! Bit by bit she chiseled away at my defenses. We ended up going to the Ren fair later that Fall and she kissed me again. Things were going well and I was getting my hopes up again. So I asked her if we could try “us” out. She had resolved her need for a rebound asshole. The next step to me seemed logical. She sent me an email explaining a lot of where she was emotionally, why we never had sex, and why she still felt it was a bad idea. I called her and told her I was ok with it. All I ever wanted was a chance. So she said yes. I was amazed. I couldn’t believe it, I finally got a yes from the girl I had liked for so long. That night was a good night.

Stay tuned for the conclusion in Part 8

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Jordan on the twittah!

#NerdsUnite: The What If? (Part 6 - The Fall Out!)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan. He was one of the first writers here on TNTML and he's a really rad mofo. I forget how we first started talking - but he lives allllllll the way over in Kansas and wants to talk to you about life from his side of the monitor in the keyword of nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JORDAN!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi

It came yet again while I slept, I awoke to yet another Facebook thing. I tell you Facebook is the worst. There it was a single status, “I feel like the guy I like, doesn’t like me. I don’t know what to do.” In that my world came crashing down. Obviously, that was not a line about me. I had lost and I sent her a message saying such. How could you keep me in tow when you were chasing someone. See I always thought we were vying for her affection. Turns out she had her heart set on this bartender. I told her I never had a chance, if she was chasing someone else. I left for work and got an Email later that day apologizing for her fault at not letting me know the whole situation better. That I really deserved to have been the victor. I was everything she should want in a guy, but the heart wants what the heart wants. I have taken to understanding that statement as... I’m fucking retarded. Trust me I have had many a girl tell me such. I tried staying friends with her via Facebook after that, but she would post pictures of her and him and it would crush me. This all came after my final trip to see her, where she had introduced me to Adele. Thus where this rant on Adele came from.  She had also convinced me to help her win a Trip to a resort based on a love story.  Which I had actually penned going so far as to detail how we got engaged as she had made it clear we would need to be to fool those in charge of the trip. So there I was heart-broken, beaten, and lost. With a fake narrative of how I could have won her as my wife. Over the next three months I put my life back together and saw another girl for a bit. My heart just wasn’t there and I stopped that before she got more attached. I vowed never to go back to Wichita again.

Just because my life always seems to throw me into things I guess it decided I had things I needed to resolve. I ended up winning a competition my work had thrown for best dish for a list of new menu items. I work for Carlos O’Kelly’s, a Mexican restaurant chain that started here in Kansas and as luck would have it is located officially in Wichita. OF COURSE!!!! Well I wanted to take a vacation and get away from all this crazy shit. I took off for LA to visit my friends out there and for Doll’s Birthday. I had Facebooked Ophelia a while back that I felt that I had gotten better and I wish we could re-start our friendship. Why throw away 10 years for no decent reason other than a failed romance. She had actually messaged Cherry to ask her opinion on the matter. At this point Cherry HATED her. She asked me what to say back. I told her it was cool and so she never answered. Which is a very Cherry thing to do. While I was in LA hanging out with Jen Friel at the Beanery I got a notification on my phone. She wanted to re-friend me on Facebook. Jen can tell you my whole countenance changed in an instant. I had no idea what to do and of course asked Jen her opinion.  I re-friended her, why have that spoil a vacation. She had accompanied it with a short, “Hope we can be friends again and I miss you.” message. When I ran into Jason Bateman she commented on that as well. She was back in my life. My friends were not excited. I was rather confused as well to her sudden desire to be all buddy-buddy.

This happening of course in LA while I am with Doll, whom I was still attracted to as well. So that was burdensome. Doll was in a way the reason Simone and I broke up. While I was in LA the time before that, Simone’s jealousy of Doll was so intense that it nearly ruined that trip.  I had at the time talked her down from that, only to have it flare up after the pictures of Jen, Doll, and some of my other LA friends hit Facebook. I am telling you when it comes to relationships, Facebook is destructive to me. It comes from my hatred of censoring my life. See I am a fiercely loyal man. You would never have to worry about me cheating on you even if the chance was there. Still I have a lot of very attractive friends. This plays to making a girl rather uncomfortable. Oh well the girl I’m looking for will trust me and I won’t ever give her a reason not to.  Upon returning to Kansas I told her about my forced trip to Wichita for this commercial and she said she would like to meet up and catch up. Cautiously, I found myself driving back to that evil town to face the girl that had torn me to pieces in a vicious love game.

Next up part 7 - Falling For The 5th Time, #facepalm 

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Jordan on the twittah!