<editorsnote>Hi, I'm Jen Friel, and we here at TNTML examine the lives of nerds outside of the basements and into the social media, and dating world. We have over 75 peeps that write about their life in real time. (Real nerds, real time, real deal.) Sit back, relax, and enjoy some of the stories!!</editorsnote>
A hoi hoi nerderinos! I am STILL balls deep in the mountains. You have no idea how frustrating it was to even get this page open - literally, I've been sitting here for over an hour watching the page load bit by bit. BAHHH!!!! Crazy. Can't wait to get back to LA tonight so I can sleep in an airport before my flight in the morning. Oh, wait a minute ...
Either way!!! TONIGHT we are going to start our brand new trivia night at Goal! Dudes, that place is the TITS!!! DDs for izzles! It's located at 8334 West 3rd street in LA (zip code: 90048), and because you nerdy ladies are so friggen awesome the owners are also going to be giving us specials!!
Yep, so not only can we still continue our trivia night, but they are going to be giving us $5 stellas, $5 vodka drinks and $5 appetizers. OMG I hear their nachos are AMAZING!!! Very excited for this!
So come on down tonight! Trivia starts at 9pm - so I'd suggest getting there around 8:30 that way you don't miss out, and can get a drink and settled!!
@JennHoffman will be wrangling in the troops tonight as I am still traveling - but SOOOOOO excited for this guys!!! Oh and since Goal is also co-owned by Leonardo Dicaprio, you never knowwww who might swing by! ::wink wink:: - ugh! Leo. What a hottie. ::sigh::
Have fun tonight everyone!!! And special thanks to Goal for hooking us nerdy girls up with some specials. Youze = awesome.
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jenn! She's my partner in GirlsIRL and a super duper smarty pants. This chick is a hustler man, she was on NBC's The Apprentice and has been a high school cheerleading coach, publicist, reporter, and writer for CNN, Huffington Post - and a ton of other media outlets. Rad chickadee. I heart her long time. Anywho, here's her latest and greatest, and I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JENN!!!!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JennHoffman
Epic epic epic! Something very nerdy, ridiculous and fun is happening on Sunday night. The Sunday Night Movie Tweetalong!
Co-founded by Los Angeles based Matt Bilinsky and Mike McGuiness, the #SMT crew has grown into a witty, fun and dedicated gang of and friends and strangers who all have two things in common: A love of ridiculousness. And movies.
Bad ass image courtesy of @romeapple
Here’s how #SMT works: Matt and Mike select a movie. Everyone who wants to participate rents the DVD or downloads it from Netflix/itunes. Then on Sunday night, we all simultaneously press play, watch it together and live Tweet the shit outta the movie from our own separate locations. Sarcastic commentary is welcome.
It’s Mystery Science Theater 3000 for 2012.
The best part is you can participate in #SMT from anywhere in the world. This week we had people tweeting from Los Angeles, San Francisco, Miami, NY, all over the Midwest and even the UK. #SMT has gone international. Woo hoo.
This Sunday we selected Karate Kid and guess who joined in? Mr. William Zabka! He’s the actor who plays Johnny, the mean preppy young villain. SWEEP THE LEG!
To add the epicness, actual @MrBelding and other real Karate Kid cast members joined in the madness too.
Ted Stryker from also KROQ joined in the fun and had some really great tweets.|
Karate Kid is not available on Netflix, so @JeninaPeraza was awesome enough to pick up a copy at Amoeba Records so we could tweet along together from her living room.
Me and @JeninaPeraza grabbed some wine and a few snacks and created our own #SMT headquarters for the night.
Wine? Check! A glass of red wine, iced-green tea, orange chicken, chips and salsa and I am movie ready.
So at 6:30 PM everyone collectively pressed play and here’s what happened. An #SMT Twitter EXPLOSION!
What movie should we do next? Suggestions so far have been Top Gun, Goonies and Bjork’s Dancer in the Dark. Either way #SMT club is HAM and going strong. Join us next week and follow the hashtag #SMT for the next feature selection.
Place #SMT in the search bar in Twitter to see the full results, but it was insane. Awesome Tweets from Zabka, Belding, the SMT founders and all our new SMT friends. Take a look at all the people using the #hashtag! (Below)
Special thanks to @mattbilinsky for letting me in his club.
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jenn! She's my partner in GirlsIRL and a super duper smarty pants. This chick is a hustler man, she was on NBC's The Apprentice and has been a high school cheerleading coach, publicist, reporter, and writer for CNN, Huffington Post - and a ton of other media outlets. Rad chickadee. I heart her long time. Anywho, here's her latest and greatest, and I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JENN!!!!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JennHoffman
Warning: If you see any of these posts in a guy/girl's feed: Run!
Social Media changes the way we date. It helps us eliminate possible suitors before even meeting them in person because we learn about their general attitude towards life through their status updates. SM can also help build attraction between potential mates, as it did for me and my current boyfriend Shane. He was virtually a stranger, but after two years of reading his Twitter timeline, his blog posts and watching his ridiculous videos I decided: THIS is a guy I can get down with. So I did.
YouTube video of my BF setting himself on fire. SWOON. I love this man.
My current situation might have been a social media win, but usually the opposite happens. A few months ago I met a guy at a bar through mutual friends. He was attractive, funny, friendly, intelligent, employed, owns his own home and totally is not a serial killer. Any man who has all these traits and lives in Los Angeles is already so far ahead of the game he doesn’t even need to show up in any other areas. In fact, just being attractive and employed means he is winning at life in 2011. Bar guy and I hit off in a general manner, but before setting any dates or making future plans we did what all young people do in order to maintain contact with someone without creating any kind of commitment. We became Facebook friends.
And then came the RED FLAGS.
His status updates were always negative. He posted about his life sucking or how he hated his sister. He tweeted lame pictures of himself posing with bottles of champagne at stupid clubs. He statused about his asshole neighbors, his jerkface co-workers, his awful friends and his stupid ex-girlfriend is an “ugly whore with herpes.” Then I looked further back in his timeline and found photos of him wearing Ed Hardy hats and Affliction t-shirts. ED HARDY and AFFLICTION. He was a mess.
Through this and other online flirtations I learned there are many common social media red flags that might seem subtle, but should make you RUN, not walk away from a potential IRL date:
1. Humble Brag Guy/Gal
These are people who really want you to think they are AWESOME. They want you to know their life is better than yours because they think this makes them more desirable. Humble Brag people are self-aware enough to know that boasting is rude, so they follow each boast with a bit of false humility. Passive/aggressive humblebrag-ishness goes something like this:
“I hate that my new 2012 Range Rover Deluxe Edition isn’t big enough to fit just one more care package to take over to the orphanage.”
“Somebody just stopped me in Whole Foods just to tell me I’m beautiful. I felt like such a dork.”
Or simply
“So blessed to have the best life, best job, best friends, best house, best everything ever. God is good.”
We get it. Your life is amazing. Now grow up.
2. The Infirmed
There’s always that one person in your timeline who constantly posts about their never ending slew of ailments. They’re always in some stage of falling ill. I’m not talking about friends with cancer or status updates from your 198 year-old aunt Helen. Aunt Helen can bitch about her gout if she needs to. I’m talking about perfectly healthy 25-year-olds who are always writing stuff like:
“Oh no, not another fever. Just got over mono, strep and syphilis.”
“I feel like shit…AGAIN. Why do I always get sick before the holidays/birthdays/everyfuckingday”
“First cramps, now explosive diarrhea??!! WTF? FML!”
Which brings me to…
3. FML Guy/Gal
If you are living in America, own a computer and have time to update your status, your life can’t be THAT bad. (see DARFUR). The occasional drama or #guyproblems is understandable, but FML people are always miserable. They have perpetual negative attitudes and actually think their lives suck more everyone else. Can you imagine how awful they must be in real life? If you date a FML person it will become a FOL situation. Fast.
“Stuck in traffic. FML.”
“I hate my job. FML.”
“I want Pinkberry. FML.”
@insertyourname is late for dinner. FML.
@insertyourname never makes me happy. What a bad boy/girlfriend. FML.
@yourname can’t make me happy because I secretly hate myself. Now #FuckOURlives. #FOL.
4. Party Time USA Guy/Gal
I’m not one to judge, but maaaaaaaaybe a grown adult shouldn’t be posting pictures of them self doing rails of blow off a dead hooker, while holding a beer bong in one hand and a big pink dildo in the other. I’m not saying don’t DO these things. I’m just suggesting that maybe you shouldn’t live tweet that action if you’re serious about trying to get a date.
Actually fuck it. Someone should just invent an anti-drunk-dialing breathalyzer App for phones that automatically disables your ability to call, text, tweet or Facebook if you blow over a .08. It’s not your fault. If you didn’t have access to your phone while drinking and mainlining Adderall in an opium den you would never have posted those pictures.
Oops – that is a picture of me from Facebook. Guilty of red flag #4.
5. Post Break-Up “Trying Too Hard” Tweets (aka Tweeting Too Hard, or Hard-Status-ing)
After a break-up you KNOW your ex is stalking your social media feeds. It doesn’t matter if you de-friend and block each other because your ex will always find a way to sneak a peek, and you know it. So you use your feed as a weapon. You create status updates just to make your new single life look WAY better than it actually is in order to make your ex lover jealous. Then you get sad that you tried to hurt them and write weird cryptic lovey-dovey shit that you hope makes up for all your public sluttery.
“Me and my wolf pack are poppin’ bottles at (insert club name) and all the ladies here are looking hot tonight” #getlaid!
“OMG the guys at (insert bar name) are sooooooo nice. They bought all me and all my girls shots!! #girlsnightout”
“I can’t even tell you all what I’m about to do tonight. #gangbang”
“Sometimes you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. I miss my cookieface bunny rabbit. Come back. #suicide”
6. The Casual Death, Doom and Destruction Updater
Some people status update about really painful, awful, private, next-level shit as if they are casually updating about what they ate for lunch. I do not want to date or be friends with these people.
“Looks like I’m getting a divorce” (Posted Monday 1:29 PM)
“Sometimes I wish a tsunami would wash all the pain away. #life” (Posted Tuesday 4:45 AM)
“I miss you grandpa. RIP.” (Posted Wednesday 3:09 PM)
“My CUNT WHORE wife just left me, so I’m going to burn down our house and then kill myself by cutting my own throat with a serrated knife!!!!” (Posted Friday 6:00 PM)
Him: “I have a humongous boner. Any hot sexy ladies on Twitter want to Skype or meet up IRL?”
Her: “You can almost see my nipples in that last picture I just posted. Cum check out my webcam. Hee-hee!”
No. NO! Ew.
8. Good Old-Fashioned Stalkers and Psychos
@exgirlfriend: “I love you” (posted at 10:04 AM)
@exgirlfriend: “I love you” (posted at 11:56 AM)
@exgirlfriend: “I love you” (posted at 1 PM)
@exgirlfriend: “I love you” (posted at 4:00 PM)
@exgirlfriend: “I love you” (posted at 4:01 PM)
@exgirlfriend: “I love you” (posted at 5:00 PM)
@exgirlfriend: “I love you” (posted at 7:45 PM)
@exgirlfriend: “I love you” (posted at 10:00 PM)
@exgirlfriend: “I love you” (posted at 12:07 AM)
@exgirlfriend: “I love you” (posted at 3:45 AM)
@exgirlfriend: “You’re a cunt” (posted at 4:36 AM)
“My @exgirlfriend is fucking CRAZY” (posted at 4:37 AM)
9. The Catfish
You have no idea who this person is, but their profile picture is HOT so you accept their friendship. They direct message you about common interests and make witty remarks about things you post. Over time you build a rapport and start a flirtation. Things heat up and they start sending you sexy pictures. This person is totally the greatest! You can’t believe you met them on the internet.
Then things get weird. The messages become erratic. They demand all your time and plan your future together even though you NEVER EVEN MET THEM in person. The texts become desperate and facts don’t add up. You realize the pictures they sent you are not even of them! They’re actually stock photography from ArtsyModelPicturesAvailibleOntheInternet.com. You try to block or ignore this person and they become aggressive. They accuse you of being player, a psycho or a fake because you won’t return their message, even though THEY are the one who pretended to be a 25 year old underwear model when they are really in fact a 44 year old recluse who makes up fake identities in order to stalk people in the internet. They start friend requesting your family members and messaging your co-workers and friends. They write weird poems about you and post it on their blog. Eventually they give up. Or they show up at your house, murder you and your whole family and then boil your bunny.
What she posts ...
What she actually looks like ...
Sometimes it’s hard to tell if a potential lover is batshit, so thank God we have the internet. Just remember – sometimes YOU are the one who is one crazy status away from getting laid. Next time you want to post a nasty tweet to your ex or write a poem about how much you hate your life on your blog, beware! You are flying your own Red Freak Flag for all to see.
<editorsnote> So, now apparently we have opened the door wide with the Occupy movement. See! I told ya'll that I personally wouldn't talk about it, but apparently a WHOOLLLLEEE lot of you have a lot to say about it - like my GirlsIRL partner Jenn Hoffman. Here's her take. HIT IT JENN! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JennHoffman
“Get a job, you hippie.”
If this is your reaction to Occupy Wall Street, you aren’t thinking critically.
I have a lot to say about OWS, but first let’s address this ridiculous “sign” made by a typical Suzie Signmaker (pictured above).
Simply put, this girl is an idiot. She’s an idiot because she assumes the people at OWS are all jobless. She’s an idiot because she assumes all the OWS supporters come from one mindset or one particular point of view. She’s an idiot because she assumes all the protesters majored in “Bitter Women’s Studies” rather than “Biology”, when statistically students who major in the “ologies” are unemployed, underemployed or in as much student debt as those who majored in a specifically directed liberal arts areas such as gender studies. She’s an idiot because she thinks that if you care about the socio-economic advancement of Americans you must be a lazy communist left-wing wacko. She’s also an idiot because her mother was probably also a useless idiot who taught her that women should not have careers, or they will become hateful dykes who major in things like “bitter women’s studies.”
But mostly, she is an idiot because she doesn’t understand that her parents raised her in a time when the average family COULD afford to have her mother leave work to “raise her properly.”
This time no longer exists.
This time no longer exists because the middle class she so was so lucky to be part of in the 80s or 90s is slowly being eradicated by the gaping hole in between the have’s and have-not’s. People like the hard working father she describes would have to SURVIVE rather than THRIVE in America today. Suzie is blinded by her own blissful experience, so Suzie can’t see that.
The men and women of Occupy Wall Street are protesting because good, decent, hard working people can’t even afford the modest lifestyle she was so fortunate to have. She doesn’t realize that engineers have been laid off at exponential rates since the 90s, so maybe her father was a hard worker – or maybe he was just lucky. She doesn’t realize that when she was growing up, greedy home lenders weren’t giving out dirty mortgage loans with balloon payments, leaving many people just like her parents unable to keep up with rising cost of even their “modest” homes. She doesn’t realize that if many of these people did get a job at McDonald’s they would still be unable to pay their basic bills, afford any form of Healthcare or make enough money to get out of the insurmountable amount of debt you incur just to attend college, visit a hospital or put food on the table.
Funny enough, me and this girl Suzie are not very different:
MY dad was also successful computer engineer and MY mom quit her career to “raise” me right too. We also lived within our means and were not in any credit card debt or danger of losing our home when growing up. I majored in Communication and Sociology in college and I have an MBA (majors that are apparently acceptable to her) and I was employed straight out of college.
But unlike her:
I AM the 99% and I know it. She is part of the 99% too, but she is too simple to understand that the other 1% depends on her ignorance and complacency in order to keep her right where she is: Blind and going nowhere.
So Suzie, keep making your silly signs and sticking your empty head deeper and deeper into the sand. In the meantime the rest of us more evolved people will be busy trying to organize all the bitter women, hippies and communist whackos so you can afford to remain stupid, useless and dull.
It's like, wha? wha? whaaaaa?? How rad is that man!
What is the nerdy girl lounge from GirlsIRL you may ask? Well looky looky what I have right here!
The nerdy girl lounge is a support group for all struggling freelancers and talented digital artists out there. The goal of this group is to have a special place for us all to share our creative thoughts, hopes, and aspirations - and also create a place to hold ourselves accountable. Having a goal is one thing, having an ENTIRE team cheering you on making sure you accomplish it is another.
We've had two weeks of AMAZING turn outs at Cafe Solar, but now we're happy to announce that we have our own space, and oh! oh! oh! there are also SUPER hot skater boys around. RAAAWWRRRR!! =)
wait, wait, focus Friel - focus! Quit with the shiny things!!!!
So yah - now we have our own space, and it's on a mock talk show set so you KNOW it will be good times and hilarity can only ensue.
We're going to have stations and everything set up for everyone - but if you're a nerdy girl and in the LA area, feel free to hit me up on twitter and come on by tonight!!
The lounge will be open from 7-9PM, bring your female friends - whatever, man. We operate on a more the merrier mentality, but please understand NO BOYS ARE ALLOWED!!
Just chicks, no dicks!
See you all tonight!! Can't WAAAIIIITTT to meet more of you!!
Tuesday, December 6, 2011 at 11:43AM
A hoi hoi nerderinos! I am STILL balls deep in the mountains. You have no idea how frustrating it was to even get this page open - literally, I've been sitting here for over an hour watching the page load bit by bit. BAHHH!!!! Crazy. Can't wait to get back to LA tonight so I can sleep in an airport before my flight in the morning. Oh, wait a minute ...
