#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi
Every new day brings us closer to that merging of the lines of female things and Male things. Sure females will always have things that males just don't or shouldn't use. Bras, panties and heels among those. However, I feel there are certain things men can as easily enjoy that they rarely try based on it's perceived social norm. I will be talking about just a few of those thing below. So keep an open mind and dive with me into the societal taboos.
First up, drinks at a bar. Yeah these are getting more and more expensive and making it far more ridiculous to actually drink at a bar. So seeing a girl you like and thinking to yourself, “I kinda fancy her, I should buy her a drink.” Thinking things like that are becoming harder to rationalize. Yet we do it to curry favor with the fairer sex. Why just the other night I bought a girl a cup of coffee. Thinking well it's what she wanted to drink maybe she'll realize I'm into her. Where as girls in this occasion won't do the same. You'll be hard pressed to meet a gal that wonders up to a bloke she digs on and says, “Mind if I buy you a drink?” Which is code for, “The night is about to get started.” Nope here is what she will most likely utter, “Care to buy me a drink?” WTF!!! Or translated, “Are you willing to take a chance on me through liqueur.” Now I know it's a social norm but man how crazy cool would it be to have some swinging cool gal saunter up to you with a drink in hand and say, “This is for you!” It would blow our minds. Guys everywhere would fall to their knees and thank the elder gods for such a girl. Can I get an AMEN!
Second, Bikes. When I go out to ride my bike I notice a startling difference between a ladies bike and a mans. A long cold evil bar. Placed innocently right below the bike seat. Where as the girls bike has no such bar. No big deal you say. OH, It's a very big deal! That bar is a ball crusher if you have to slam on the breaks. Don't even take into account that for some reason bike seats were engineered to reduce the sperm count. I guess whomever made bikes, wanted less bikers out there. Seems a dumb decision as far as business moves go. So why then when I choose to ride a girls bike to protect my future children do I get mocked at from men in pick-up trucks with shiny brass balls hanging from the hitch. Curiouser and curiouser.
Third, Wallets. What hell was this! Brought about as a substitution for a ladies purse a man needs to shove all his most important documents into a folded piece of leather. Then as the space for things is limited sit on it by placing it in his back pocket. Ever sat on an unstable chair? Bugs the hell out of you doesn't it. Yet a wallet with any number of small things inside it, tilts a man's body giving him back problems and all other kinds of weird comfort issues. A purse is an easy and viable option. So thus was brought about the satchel. Now called among homophobic men everywhere the Man purse or Murse. Saying no thank you sir I'd rather sit on all my important documents in so many words. Not to mention at least one condom. A condom that through the constant nudging from the ass has been rendered obsolete and resulting in the often feared pregnancy scares of early sexual activity. Having kept that important object in a MURSE, why it could have saved you... oh however much it costs to raise a child or pay for an abortion/ morning after pill. But no the man purse just doesn't fit with our macho bravado.
Fourth, Shaved legs. Oh sure it looks super manly to have hair all over your legs and women often complain about how we don't have to shave our legs. But hassle aside if you ever took the time to try and shave your legs. It is one of the most insanely amazing feelings you could experience. Jumping into bed afterward and just moving your legs back and forth under the sheets. I tell you men it will change your view on life. While I'm on that subject, guys ya gotta manscape. Keep that stuff trimmed downstairs its only polite. So while you are manscaping why not give the old shaved legs a try. Just once I promise it will be an experience worth indulging in.
Lastly, Skirts. Now this befuddles me most of all. For men have always sought after comfort. Boxer shorts easily worn round the house bunch up in any pair of pants if the legs are lifted too high. But had you been wearing a skirt that would have never been a problem. Skirts are not only airy but comfortable too, like wearing nothing at all. Not to mention there has always been something alluring about wearing skirts.
Just the way they flow over the legs leaving just the hint of things below. Girls may just find they are turned on by it as well. While we're on the subject of getting noticed I doubt anything else would get you noticed faster than being a big 'ol burly man in a black lace skirt. Comfortable, cool, and practical these are all things men has sought after in clothing sense the dawn of time. Look at the earliest pictures of cave dwellers with their tunics slung haphazardly over their shoulders. The ancient Grecian who brought us society as we know it now; wore blankets draped over them. Further more I need not even mention the Scottish. Not much of a stretch to jump to an ankle length skirt now is it.
So there you have it. all you manly nerds out there. Just a few thoughts I had that may blend the lines a bit; but ultimately why not. Look into any average high school. The guys look like girls and the girls look like well girls. These are the waves of change that are about to crash over the land. Take a cue from that emo kid with half a bottle of gel in his hair. Make your change now before you are left to the way of the dodo.
This has been a gender blending service announcement from your friendly neighborhood Saint.
Tell Jordan how much you LOOVEEDD his article on twitter here.
Saturday, July 17, 2010 at 6:44PM
