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<editorsnote> Hi, I'm Jen Friel, and we here at TNTML examine the lives of nerds outside of the basements and into the social media, and dating world.  We have over 75 peeps that write about their life in real time. (Real nerds, real time, real deal.) Sit back, relax, and enjoy some of the stories!! </editorsnote>

 

 

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Entries in nerd marriage (2)

Tuesday
Jan242012

#NerdsUnite: I'm 23 and in less than a year - I'm getting married (The Weight) 

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jack. We met on the twitter not too long ago, and the dude has a lot going on. First up, like many of us - he works in social media, but in less than a year he's going to get married. Oh and did I mention that he's only 23? And his bride to be is only ... ::gasp:: 22? Holy crapsicles Batman, this is going to be good ... I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JACK! </editorsnote> 

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JackMEB

Warped Tour 2009.  That was the first time I heard our song.

I was attending as a rookie reporter, and feigning confidence left and right.  Right off the bat, I was interviewing and goofing off with some of my most idolized musicians, like Dallas Green of City & Colour.  No matter how big the musician, I was playing the veteran journalist role like a pro, asking questions the musicians had never heard and getting the scoop.

Until I spoke with Dustin Kensrue, anyway.

More commonly known as the lead singer of hard-rock outfit Thrice, the vocalist is a Southern California legend of sorts.  In the last 12 years, the band has released six full-lengths, four EPs and a live album, all of which received much critical acclaim (last year’s Major/Minor was my Top Album of 2011).  Kensrue’s little time off was spent recording two fantastic folk/indie records, with a rumored worship album on deck.  Few bands can say they’ve influenced a community as greatly as Thrice has affected the Warped scene and my generation of rockers.

Never before had I been starstruck, but that interview with Dustin had me tongue-tied.  I was so enthralled hearing his responses that I fumbled my questions and left an important interview at least slightly awkward, though Kensrue played along.  His responses were incredibly genuine and honest; a rarity these days in interviews.

I knew from extensive research (aka YouTube) that Thrice was playing two new songs during their Warped set.  From the first time I heard the opening riff of “The Weight,” I was sold. There was something about that strum pattern and vocal melody that resonated with me. 

I didn’t process the lyrics until much later when Ashley grabbed a copy of the record and fell in love with the same track.

  

There's many who'll tell you they'll give you their love,
But when they say "give" they mean "take."
They’ll hang 'round just like vultures till push comes to shove,
They'll take flight when the earth starts to shake.

Someone may say that they'll always be true,
Then slip out the door 'fore the dawn.
But I won't leave you hanging on.
Another may stay till they find someone new,
Then before you know they'll be gone.
But I won't leave you hanging on;
No, I won't be that someone.

And come what may, I won't abandon you or leave you behind
Because love is a loyalty sworn, not a burning for a moment.
And come what may, I will be standing right here by your side;
I won't run away, though the storm's getting worse and there's no end in sight.

Some talk of destiny, others of fate,
But soon they'll be saying goodbye.
But I won't leave you high and dry.
Because a ring don't mean nothing
If you can't haul the weight,
And some of them won't even try,
But I won't leave you high and dry;
I won't leave you wondering why.

And storms will surely come,
But true love is a choice you must make
And you're the one that I have set my heart to choose.
As long as I live, I swear I'll see this through.

Perfect lyrics, no?

Since 2009, Ashley and I have seen Thrice multiple times, most recently at The Mayan in LA.  From the day I proposed, we both knew this would be our song.  What’s more perfect is we discovered an acoustic version Dustin performed for a radio session.

Here’s the thing: we’re having a backyard wedding in Orange County, which happens to be Thrice’s backyard.  And much to the world’s dismay, the band recently announced they’re taking a hiatus; both Kensrue and guitarist Teppei Teranishi have families now, and Dustin is going to enjoy some time as a worship pastor. 

We jokingly floated the idea of reaching out to Dustin to come play “The Weight” for our first dance.  I’ve worked with the band’s publicist before, and have friends in the Thrice camp.  One of their tourmates I’m close with even suggested I ask him to officiate (Ashley and I don’t have a pastor we’re close with, and we’ve been putting off finding an officiant because of it).

Starting today, I’m going for it.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized this is that little extra dose of specialness that would make our intimate backyard wedding unforgettable (you know, besides my new bride).  If I can somehow pull it off, you won’t even hear about it until after the wedding; I’d want to protect his privacy, and I don’t need people thinking our wedding is a free concert.  Even the prospect of it has Ashley smiling ear to ear, much like the day I showed her that acoustic video.

Wish me luck.  No matter what happens, I decided long ago to have “The Weight” and our wedding date (8/4/2012) engraved on the inside of my ring; it’s just too perfect.

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Jack on twitter

Thursday
Oct142010

#Marriage: Now or Never?

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @maniacalmorgan

So, I might catch some flack for posting this article, but I have to get this off my chest. One of my closest friends who I've known longer than any of my other friends is thinking about proposing to his girlfriend. DON'T DO IT!

 

Ok, so I've known this friend for a looooong long long time. He was one of my first friends in 5th grade. I was 9 years old. I've known this guy for almost 15 years. For someone my age, that's a long ass time, right? I love this guy to death, he's my brother from another mother, but I caught wind that he wants to ask his girl to marry him. Now, I'm all for being happy and supporting my friends in what they want to do, but you have to have some background story.

 

My friend is one of the nicest guys you will ever meet. Seriously. He's always been there for me and all of his friends, whether it was convenient or not. I love this guy like a brother. He's always been so focused on his friends that he's been somewhat socially awkward with the ladies. Now, I'm not hating. I've always been there for him. I remember when we were 18, we were sitting on the beach with another friend; just three of us dudes. Now, we saw a couple of hotties camping out not far from us. Both friends being who they were made me go initiate conversation with these girls and invite them over. He's always been somewhat shy and hasn't ever really found the right girl to be in a serious relationship with until now. This is his first serious relationship in... forever.

 

 I do have to say that his girlfriend is great from what I could tell. Not all of our friends would agree, but I liked her. She's a sweet and seemingly genuine person, but I think he needs to wait. He moved about 3 hours away from all of his friends, and the only person he knew in the town was his brother who was going to school. Naturally, the first girl he met, he's clung on to. I get it, but I think he should too. They have had their fair share of arguments and problems and I always get the "Hey Morgan, what should I do?" phone calls. Give it a few years. You're young, and she's even younger. She's 22 years old. I'm a different person than I was 6 months ago, let alone 2 years ago. Things and people change. If you want to be with someone, be with them, but don't be so eager to slap a ring and make it permanent.

 

I think it's always important to keep in mind what your friends think. I have yet to have a successful relationship where my friends didn't approve of the girl I was dating. I realize that it's no coincidence. Your friends know you better than anyone and aren't afraid to speak their minds to keep you from a lifetime of regret. That's what friends are for... to make you better, not bring you down. Trust them.

 

Just to clarify for all my nerds out there, I am not opposed to being married. I am totally a hopeless romantic and I get it. I really do, but I'm not ready now. I'm still working on making myself better before I could commit to anyone else. An analogy Jen used was life is like an airplane. You have to secure your oxygen mask before you can help anyone else with theirs. I know that people at my age are still fickle and very much exploring themselves. Like I said before, if you are going to be with someone, be with them, but don't be so eager to claim it forever. If they love you, they won't be going anywhere. 

 

So, to my friend that may or not be reading this. I love you, man. You are my brother and my friend. Know that I care and want you to be happy, but I don't want you to lead yourself down a path of unhappiness. Just wait and be happy with what you have for now.

 

What do you guys feel about the situation? Feel free to follow me on Twitter or friend me on Facebook!