#NerdsUnite: I'm 23 and in less than a year - I'm getting married (The Weight)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jack. We met on the twitter not too long ago, and the dude has a lot going on. First up, like many of us - he works in social media, but in less than a year he's going to get married. Oh and did I mention that he's only 23? And his bride to be is only ... ::gasp:: 22? Holy crapsicles Batman, this is going to be good ... I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JACK! </editorsnote> 

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JackMEB

Warped Tour 2009.  That was the first time I heard our song.

I was attending as a rookie reporter, and feigning confidence left and right.  Right off the bat, I was interviewing and goofing off with some of my most idolized musicians, like Dallas Green of City & Colour.  No matter how big the musician, I was playing the veteran journalist role like a pro, asking questions the musicians had never heard and getting the scoop.

Until I spoke with Dustin Kensrue, anyway.

More commonly known as the lead singer of hard-rock outfit Thrice, the vocalist is a Southern California legend of sorts.  In the last 12 years, the band has released six full-lengths, four EPs and a live album, all of which received much critical acclaim (last year’s Major/Minor was my Top Album of 2011).  Kensrue’s little time off was spent recording two fantastic folk/indie records, with a rumored worship album on deck.  Few bands can say they’ve influenced a community as greatly as Thrice has affected the Warped scene and my generation of rockers.

Never before had I been starstruck, but that interview with Dustin had me tongue-tied.  I was so enthralled hearing his responses that I fumbled my questions and left an important interview at least slightly awkward, though Kensrue played along.  His responses were incredibly genuine and honest; a rarity these days in interviews.

I knew from extensive research (aka YouTube) that Thrice was playing two new songs during their Warped set.  From the first time I heard the opening riff of “The Weight,” I was sold. There was something about that strum pattern and vocal melody that resonated with me. 

I didn’t process the lyrics until much later when Ashley grabbed a copy of the record and fell in love with the same track.

There's many who'll tell you they'll give you their love,
But when they say "give" they mean "take."
They’ll hang 'round just like vultures till push comes to shove,
They'll take flight when the earth starts to shake.

Someone may say that they'll always be true,
Then slip out the door 'fore the dawn.
But I won't leave you hanging on.
Another may stay till they find someone new,
Then before you know they'll be gone.
But I won't leave you hanging on;
No, I won't be that someone.

And come what may, I won't abandon you or leave you behind
Because love is a loyalty sworn, not a burning for a moment.
And come what may, I will be standing right here by your side;
I won't run away, though the storm's getting worse and there's no end in sight.

Some talk of destiny, others of fate,
But soon they'll be saying goodbye.
But I won't leave you high and dry.
Because a ring don't mean nothing
If you can't haul the weight,
And some of them won't even try,
But I won't leave you high and dry;
I won't leave you wondering why.

And storms will surely come,
But true love is a choice you must make
And you're the one that I have set my heart to choose.
As long as I live, I swear I'll see this through.

Perfect lyrics, no?

Since 2009, Ashley and I have seen Thrice multiple times, most recently at The Mayan in LA.  From the day I proposed, we both knew this would be our song.  What’s more perfect is we discovered an acoustic version Dustin performed for a radio session.

Here’s the thing: we’re having a backyard wedding in Orange County, which happens to be Thrice’s backyard.  And much to the world’s dismay, the band recently announced they’re taking a hiatus; both Kensrue and guitarist Teppei Teranishi have families now, and Dustin is going to enjoy some time as a worship pastor. 

We jokingly floated the idea of reaching out to Dustin to come play “The Weight” for our first dance.  I’ve worked with the band’s publicist before, and have friends in the Thrice camp.  One of their tourmates I’m close with even suggested I ask him to officiate (Ashley and I don’t have a pastor we’re close with, and we’ve been putting off finding an officiant because of it).

Starting today, I’m going for it.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized this is that little extra dose of specialness that would make our intimate backyard wedding unforgettable (you know, besides my new bride).  If I can somehow pull it off, you won’t even hear about it until after the wedding; I’d want to protect his privacy, and I don’t need people thinking our wedding is a free concert.  Even the prospect of it has Ashley smiling ear to ear, much like the day I showed her that acoustic video.

Wish me luck.  No matter what happens, I decided long ago to have “The Weight” and our wedding date (8/4/2012) engraved on the inside of my ring; it’s just too perfect.

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Jack on twitter

#NerdsUnite: I'm 23 and in less than a year - I'm getting married (She got the dress!)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jack. We met on the twitter not too long ago, and the dude has a lot going on. First up, like many of us - he works in social media, but in less than a year he's going to get married. Oh and did I mention that he's only 23? And his bride to be is only ... ::gasp:: 22? Holy crapsicles Batman, this is going to be good ... I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JACK! </editorsnote>

She got the dress!

And that’s about all I can tell you. As is customary, every detail about the dress will be a complete surprise to me until Ashley walks down the aisle.

Even though we’ve accomplished quite a bit, the wedding dress purchase made us both feel like this whole thing is actually real. Ashley’s been beaming around the house, all smiles and excitement, which is absolutely contagious – both her family, my mom, and all our roommates talk about it constantly. Nothing makes me happier than seeing Ashley so ecstatic about everything – I’m a pretty lucky dude.

Last weekend was spent tackling a more fun task: registries. The shopping team of myself, Ashley, and her mother made our way to Macy’s to pick out all kinds of goodies. We sat down with the in-house registry consultant to hear about all the perks of registering at Macy’s, and I have to say, I was impressed with the benefits.

First we have the “Star Rewards” program. Whenever anyone purchases an item off of our registry, Ashley and I receive 5% of the purchase price. So if you get us that $99 Calphalon Unison Nonstick Sear Round 12” pan we so desperately want, we get $5. Additionally, we receive 10% back on any purchase Ashley and I make at Macy’s from the date we registered until one month after our wedding. It’s a win-win for every party involved; Macy’s gets repeat business from the credits we’ll receive, and we get discounts on a store that has everything we’d ever need for furnishing our house and lives.

We signed up for a new test program as well, called the Macy’s Dream Fund. The program essentially compiles what would be tons of gift cards into one massive card for our convenience. Rather than buying a gift card, you can contribute to the Dream Fund, which adds your contribution to those of others. We also get the 5% Star Reward kickback for any contributions. I like the idea, though I was a bit concerned about the ways the store could push the program to our attendees; Ashley and I would rather receive gifts (it’s just more fun that way), and I worried that the employees might encourage shoppers to contribute to the test program. We decided the benefits outweighed the risk after being assured that it was considered a secondary option to purchasing from our registry.

Next came the selection process. Armed with a scanner (which could have used some Apple-ingenuity to be more user-friendly), we browsed the store, picking out the cookware, appliances, and housing items of our future. I had far too much fun tweeting along and driving Ashley absolutely crazy:

With my obsessive nature over practical purchases, it meant lots of Googling as we shopped, but we were both very happy with the stores’ variety and quality. You can actually check out registry online (another great Macy’s feature – our registry was live updated as we added items in-store). A very pleasurable experience that was virtually painless.

Next week, I’ll finally reveal my one wedding dream – the musician I’d kill to have perform our song. Until then!

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Jack on twitter

#NerdsUnite: I'm 23 and in less than a year - I'm getting married (The Sexy Calf Contest)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jack. We met on the twitter not too long ago, and the dude has a lot going on. First up, like many of us - he works in social media, but in less than a year he's going to get married. Oh and did I mention that he's only 23? And his bride to be is only ... ::gasp:: 22? Holy crapsicles Batman, this is going to be good ... I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JACK! </editorsnote> 

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JackMEB

So I entered a Sexy Calf Contest.

Yep.  That happened.

The setting?  A bridal expo.  My fiancée Ashley, myself, and Katrina (our wedding planner/roommate) all headed out to the Doubletree Ontario to get the 411 on every aspect of organizing a wedding.  Representatives from caterers, travel agents, venues, and entertainment wildly flung brochures in my face, pleading we chose their services.  More often than not, I directed them to my boss: Ashley (which totally backfired; she put my phone number down on several contests to win honeymoons, resulting in spam voicemails).  While Ash and Katrina browsed and listened to sales pitches, I made sure to sample every food item around.  I scarfed bruschetta, cake, carnitas, and made three shameless passes by Buca Di Beppo’s tiramisu display.

Most of the vendors were pushing honeymoon packages, and since we’re anti-tropical (we live in Southern California; we get sun and beach 10 months of the year), few had anything that truly interested us.  A few displays were curious, such as the company that sold a single, one-size bridesmaid dress that could be worn 20+ ways.  The main event was an entire room’s worth of wedding dresses, which the girls declined to participate in since I was around.  After we made our rounds, I lost a close 2-1 vote on going home vs. seeing the fashion show, so we grabbed some seats.

While we waited for the fashion show, a fantastic seven-piece Latin band played for the early attendees, hitting on all the essential covers and their own original Spanish material.  While I had no plans of making my size 14’s salsa at my wedding, I asked Katrina what something like that runs – she casually answered, “Oh, $10,000, easy.” Fortunately, I’m sticking to my original goal: $100 for the live entertainment, which will be provided by a friend or our dream musician.

As the 2:00 pm start time approached, the suited emcee grabbed the mic and started talking to the crowd and playing some games.  Maids of Honor were asked to stand and play a game, followed by the mothers in attendance, then the grooms.

Amidst a sea of 100 women, about 8 bodies rose.  After being praised as the few “brave enough to attend” and “supportive of our future wives,” the host asked for participants to come to the stage.  

Now like our own Jen Friel, I’m damn confident online, in business, and in written works, but I’m as shy and awkward as could be in person.  Having recently decided to work on that (and with some beckoning from Ash and Katrina), I ran up to the stage to participate.  

That’s when the rules came.

A bride’s sister was asked to sit in a chair. I immediately feared that my clumsy frame would be forced to give a lap dance; thank God that wasn’t the case.  Instead, we were asked to roll up our jeans, come down the catwalk, and prove to the crowd why we had the sexiest calves there.

This is not a typical Jack situation.

I elected to be in the middle of the pack, becoming participant #4.  As the music played, each guy took his turn strutting his stuff, stopping to give a quick calf flex every few steps.  The judge was not impressed.  I did my best to laugh and fake coolness, but after #3 danced his way on and off stage, I was up.  

I gave a few steps with feigned confidence, approached the judge, and gave my strongest flex.  The reaction?

Well, except a girl.  You get the idea.  

With most of the competition complete, it seemed I was the favorite. For a few brief seconds, I felt confident and thought that I had a shot at winning the damn thing.  Smiling, I walked back to my place in line.

#5 was as tame as the first few contestants, and I became excited at the prospect of winning.

Then #6 walked down, shook his hips, and threw his calf on the judge’s cheek.  And that was that.

Losing out on the free Sunday brunch is surely a loss I’ll never live down, but the crowd and Ashley sure got a kick out of it, and it felt good to be a bit embarrassed.

All that nonsense means my planned announcement will get pushed to next week, which will be a big update on photography, Ash’s dress, and whatever else we accomplish in the next week.  Until then, I’m going to go do some leg presses and prep for the next bridal expo.

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Jack on twitter

#NerdsUnite: I'm 23 and in less than a year - I'm getting married (Two Venues For Under $200)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jack. We met on the twitter not too long ago, and the dude has a lot going on. First up, like many of us - he works in social media, but in less than a year he's going to get married. Oh and did I mention that he's only 23? And his bride to be is only ... ::gasp:: 22? Holy crapsicles Batman, this is going to be good ... I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JACK! </editorsnote> 

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JackMEB

Progress!  That’s right – Ashley and I have made a bit of progress towards the wedding.  But before we get to that, let’s backtrack to the bomb I dropped last week.

Our goal is to have a $5,000 wedding.  As mentioned last week, the average wedding runs over $24,000 these days, so we’re going to attempt to put on a show for nearly 20% of that.  Fortunately, we do have a few assets we’re planning on utilizing.

• Our roommate.  Our roomie Katrina happens to be a Hair Stylist, Floral Designer, and a Professional Bridal Consultant (find her work at Soulmates & Wedding Dates).  Just throwing ideas out the air has made it clear that Katrina will be our most important asset over the next seven months, from now until the “I do’s.”
• Connections.  Ash and I have managed to make some solid connections over the years, and we’ll be calling in favors galore.  Graduating from Christian school means we’ve got more than a few options to officiate, and my music background will allow me to call in a few favors for a live band.  (I do have a dream scenario for the music I’m trying to make happen… more on that next week).  But make no mistake – anything we can get for free or for cheap from a friend of a friend will be part of the wedding.
• DIY Attitude.  From some brief web searching and chats with Katrina, it’s clear a great deal of the decorations and arrangements can be done by hand, far ahead of time, for next to nothing.  Flowers can be bought and arranged by us, invitations can be printed elegantly for cents, and we can cater it in a non-traditional way that will provide more food for less money.  

With all that in mind, I can happily announce that we have made two tremendous strides towards the big day: we’ve got a wedding venue, and a reception venue!  And the total bill is under $200.

For the reception, we’ll be happily grubbing and grooving at an unlikely location: Uncle Dennis and Aunt Diana’s backyard!  Yep; it’s gonna be a backyard shindig.  They overheard talks about venues and threw out that they’d love to have us, and that they’ve hosted 150 person parties on several occasions.  With our goal of 100 attendees or less, their large Fullerton backyard will be perfect for the fun, casual atmosphere we’re going for.  And it doesn’t cost us anything.  Plenty of sources warn that backyard weddings can be more expensive from the massive rentals, but we’re confident this is the best option for us, as we’ve got some creative ideas on entertainment, catering, and other necessities.

Next is the venue: a beautiful local Fullerton park.  We scoped a few places online that were within the radius of the Uncle’s backyard and found a gorgeous location.  What’s more is that Ashley handled the pricing and got an absolutely absurd deal: we get the site for four hours, for $250, with a $100 refundable security deposit.  On a Saturday.  In Orange County.  How it happened, I don’t know, but the deposit was immediately placed.  

So that’s your weekly wedding update.  I do have a few other cool tidbits I wanted to share though.  As of today, I’ve accepted a staff position on AbsolutePunk.net, a very well-read music blog that pushed 6 million uniques last year.  I’m also officially the Director of Marketing for Impulse Artists, where I’ll be co-managing LA alt-rock band Culprit and Ohio pop/punk act My Mouth Is The Speaker, as well as taking on PR clients.  I’m still at the Social Method, and I still manage MindEqualsBlown.net, so the plate is officially at capacity.

Hopefully everyone is having a kick-ass 2012 so far.  Next week we’ll talk about what I’m realizing will be our biggest expense: photography.  Until then, kiddies!

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Jack on twitter

#NerdsUnite: I'm 23 and in less than a year - I'm getting married (Meet the Miss)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jack. We met on the twitter not too long ago, and the dude has a lot going on. First up, like many of us - he works in social media, but in less than a year he's going to get married. Oh and did I mention that he's only 23? And his bride to be is only ... ::gasp:: 22? Holy crapsicles Batman, this is going to be good ... I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JACK! </editorsnote> 

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JackMEB

Oh, the holidays: where family drama knows no bounds.  I hope everyone had the Merriest Christmas possible with the fam bams, because I know how that can go. 

Last week I gave bullet points on my life and my upcoming wedding.  Our ages were the gasp-inducer then (I’m 23, she’s 22), but I’ll drop the next bit of ridiculousness now: we want to do this shindig for $5,000 or less.  Sounds like a lot, but the average wedding runs around $24,000 these days.  We’ll get into that a bit more next week though, because I believe another introduction is in order.

Meet Ashley, my beautiful fiancée ...

A little background on her (I’ll try not to brag, but I’m proud): Like me, she graduated last spring from HIU, though she took home the Business Excellence award, given to the most accomplished student in the department (meanwhile, the dean who presented the award often mentioned my greatest accomplishment was landing her).  While earning her accounting degree from HIU and Cal State Fullerton, she played four years as a scholarship volleyball player, worked nearly full-time at a local tax/financial planning firm, and dealt with my shenanigans.  At 22, she just became an Enrolled Agent (EA), meaning she can prepare your taxes and is enrolled with the IRS to represent you.

Probably the most fun aspect of our relationship to the outside world is our height.  At 6’5”, I’m tall enough to get noticed on my own, but when I’ve got my arm on the shoulder of my 6’2” fiancée, we’re impossible to miss, especially amongst the skinny-jeaned scenester crowd we endure at all the shows I attend for MEB.  Couple that with my clumsiness (size 14’s, man.  Size 14’s) and her goofiness, and we’re a sight to be seen.

So yeah, that’s who I’m marrying, and I couldn’t be happier.  With my schedule and tax season rapidly approaching, we’re mentally preparing to see very little of each other from now until April 16, which means wedding planning (and interacting) will most likely be through Facebook chat during lunch.

Next week we’ll start talking numbers, and our strategy to keep costs under 5k (who’s ready for our fantastically fun backyard wedding?!?!).  Later, friends!

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Jack on twitter