#ThatAwkwardMomentWhen: A Fetish Goes Horribly Wrong

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Malik. He's a college student with a double major in sociology and criminal justice. He resides in Maryland where he likes long walks on the beach, and goes to the Warped Tour every year. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT MALIK !!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @_MalikW

There are nights in college that you will never want to forget. Nights that help you achieve a god-like status among your peers. This is not one of those nights ... 

It all began when I had the great idea to set up a party with a sorority while I was bored in Art lecture. It was a Friday, the weather was halfway decent, what could go wrong?

Apparently everything.

The aforementioned night was destined to happen about six years ago when I began to have a weird dwarf fetish. I don’t know what it is about them that is so fucking hot, but I had always wanted to just sexually destroy one. All of my fraternity brothers make fun of me for watching dwarf porn but fuck it. I know it’s weird but zero fucks are given.

Back to the party, I spy an Asian across the room that couldn’t be taller than 4’8. My penis fell in love. I don’t know what it was, it might have been her height, or lack thereof or it could have been the idea of my penis being the equivalent of Godzilla to her (cheap Asian joke). Couple hours and many drinks later we have become very friendly and I find myself fist pumping the night away. She decides to get in front of me and grind on me and she is so small that the back of her head is on my pelvis, it was so fucking hot. Eventually the party dies down and we are all upstairs and I’m sitting down, holding hands with my Asian Dwarf Queen. I make my way downstairs to the keg and she follows behind me. A few minutes later I find myself seated on the keg with my tongue getting very acquainted with hers. I proceed to pick her up and carry her to the bathroom. IT WAS LITERALLY THE GREATEST THING EVER, I AM ONLY 140 POUNDS AND I COULD CARRY HER, I WAS SO FUCKING ECSTATIC. We’re making out in the bathroom like a bunch of 14-year olds at their first party that included both of the sexes and just as her hands go down my pants heard a loud ass bang on the door and some irate sorority girl screaming, “GET THE FUCK OUT HERE PLEDGE!”, and that’s when my Asian Midget Queen stops everything and says she has to go. Maybe she wouldn’t have left so abruptly if I didn’t neglect to shave my pubes that month.

I don’t know what the hell happened with her and her future sister, but all I know is was my balls were bluer than an ocean. Just as I’m beginning to hang my head in shame, I realize my old fuck lives two houses down from the party! Even though she’s mentally insane, I thought it was a great idea at the time, so I round up two of my pledges and proceed to go to her house. At the front door I tell them how big of a mistake this probably is and we will never speak of anything that happens inside of the house. They both nod in agreement as I proceed to dial her number to come to the door. She comes to the door and I shoot to her room as she lets the pledges in. Before she’s even upstairs I am naked and ready to take her to pound town. Right as she enters her room, she sees me naked and yells, “WHAT THE FUCK”, and slams me on her bed. At this point I’m thinking, “FUCK YEAH, YOU MAKE ME YOUR LITTLE FUCKING BITCHBOY”, but unfortunately this was not some freaky sexual role play. She called the pledges to come upstairs to look at how pitiful I looked. She also told me to never come to her house that drunk and expect her to just fuck me and leave. She finally got up and threw me my clothes and made me leave. My life was in shambles as I walked home with my head down with my balls bluer than a morning sky. 

#thatisall

#RealDeal: And then you see what was there all along ...

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Eric. He is a MAASSTTEERRR social dynamics expert that will be talking about his experiences in the field from both an expert, and experience perspective. He's not just saying "this is how to get the girl" he's here to share his actual life stories and lessons learned from them. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ERIC !!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Redolpho

Ok lets be real... I'm FUCKING obsessed with surfing. It's funny that I didn't look to it when I started this journey because both things happened simultaneously. I started surfing soon after I knew that everything had to change, and that I wouldn't let myself live in sadness anymore. Nothing has ever brought out such a child like happiness like surfing does. 

 

In related news I did not ride the Central Coast Century. About a week before the ride my partner let me know that she was having a major work issue and may not be able to ride. The before we were set to leave for the ride she officially was out and I scrambled to find a place to stay since the cost of trip more than doubled with out someone else to split transportation and hotel costs. All in all I was not able to find a place to stay and I had to cancel the ride. There was NO way I was going to spend a months worth of Tandem10 expenses on this ride. I can get on my bike and ride 100 miles whenever I want. In fact, I just may. But, I moved passed the disappointment of not being to do the ride and realized that I now had this whole weekend to do whatever I wanted with. 

So I spent all weekend in Malibu, and then down to San Diego, and then up to Orange County surfing different beaches. I stayed with the coolest people and had one of the best spontaneous weekend adventures to date. The food, the people, the beaches and so many awesome rides. It was everything that I love centered around something so simple. A board, nature, and a spirit for adventure. 

So the Tandem10 has taken it's next form. I am going to take a surf board with me and tour the coastline of South East Asia in search of great adventure, awesome people, and big surf. I have to get myself down to a much smaller board which is quite the challenge and need to up my surfing abilities so that I am able to ride some of the best breaks in the world. It makes me happy just thinking about it. With both the century ride and my social media consultancy behind me, I'm head first in this like never before. This is going to be my life and it's so crazy to think about.

 

#nerdsunite

#NowPlaying: The top 10 most epic movie soundtracks of all time (... seriously!)

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Marcela De Vivo 

Any movie can be good, but there are certain things that set others apart from the rest. Sometimes, it’s the actors, and for others, it’s the cinematography, but most often, it’s the music. The music of a movie carries us from the beginning to end; it rides the emotions of the actors and draws us into the plot. 

Some movie soundtracks are so amazing, we feel like we can fight battles just listening to them. Everyone has their favorites, but read through this list and you might discover a new epic tie for first place ... 

1) Titanic—James Horner

With the deep emotion of this movie, it is only right that it be accompanied by an equally emotional soundtrack. James Horner does just that, and more. He pairs each incredible scene with a song that fits the moment just right.

The Titanic would not be the same without the songs that we all know and love backing it.

2) Gladiator—Hans Zimmer and Lisa Gerrard

Hans Zimmer and Lisa Gerrard add another layer of complex emotion to Gladiator. Zimmer makes the music fresh and creative. Gerrard works on the lighter and softer pieces with her own special touch. Together, they create a dramatic masterpiece.

3) Pirates of the Caribbean-The Curse of the Black Pearl—Klaus Badelt

One of the most beloved adventure films of all-time, Klaus Badelt captures the mischievousness of Jack Sparrow, the love of Will and Elizabeth and the danger of the pirates-- all in one epic soundtrack.

Badelt ignites the adventurer in all of us with his incredible music.

4) Jurassic Park—John Williams

Although not all share a love for this very particular set of movies, most can agree that John Williams goes above and beyond his musical talent for these particular soundtracks. They add so much to each character, and make the movies a joy to watch.

5) Braveheart—James Horner

After watching Braveheart, most men can safely say they want to be William Wallace. They love his heroism and his manliness, all accented, of course, by another incredible soundtrack from James Horner. 

Horner includes the London Symphony Orchestra, along with the Choristers of Westminster Abbey, to their full potential in this soundtrack.

6) The Dark Knight—Hans Zimmer

The Dark Knight is a battle of good and evil. It keeps everyone watching on the edge of their seats. This kind of emotion would not be possible without the songs that Hans Zimmer created perfectly for the movie.

7) The Terminator—Brad Fiedel

Sure, we can all agree that some parts of the movie are cheesy, and what belongs in the ‘80’s should stay in the ‘80’s; however, The Terminator would not be the same without the soundtrack. Epic and perfect for the stunts of Arnold Schwarzenegger, this is a soundtrack to remember.

8) Jaws—John Williams

A fin pops out of the ocean, blood spurts through the water, people scream! It can only be Jaws, a one-of-a-kind movie that was made even better by John Williams.

This soundtrack causes people to watch to watch the movie again and again, just for the thrill of that shark fin.

9) The Lord of the Rings—Howard Shore

Perhaps one of the most well-known movie soundtracks can be found right here by Howard Shore. Not only is it emotionally moving and intense, it is perfectly suited to every single scene of the movie.

10) Star Wars—John Williams

Of course, this classic had to make it on the list. No epic soundtrack compilation would be complete without it! Light sabers and far-away galaxies? What more could you want?

Each of these soundtracks sparks some sort of emotion in everyone, each time the music is played or the movie is watched. No great move would ever be complete without an epic soundtrack.

#nerdsunite

Marcela De Vivo is a freelance writer, mother and music enthusiast who can often be found listening to the greatest movie soundtracks of all-time. Music plays a big part in her life; she is always finding new musicians and artists. Follow her on Twitter and Facebook. 

#NerdsUnite: The secret life of a veterinary technician

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Lindsay. She and I met ... well, somewhere in the social space. I think we might have started talking through this site directly, then through facebook - maybe ... I'm not sure. But she's awesome. I talk to her on twitter almost every day, and she's really rad and TOTALLY a big huge animal lover. Like crazy huge!! In these series of posts she will be talking about her life and random adventures with sometimes more than two legged creatures. I guess there's only one more thing left to say ... HIT IT LINDSAY!!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @TheCraftafarian

I've been really into trying new foods and new places because well, its fun and especially since it seems, my appetite gets "bored." Problem is I already don't know what I want to eat and I usually have no idea where to get something that I would probably like. David has been helping me by picking up local newspapers and magazines that review and spotlight places in our area. These articles are a great way for me to try to choose new places as when I get stressed or frustrated by mind goes blank and I can't think of anything. So now when I'm starting to have difficulty choosing something I open up the newest "food guide" and take my pick.

Last week we tried B&B Junction--it's this great burger and beer joint. They have all kinds of different burgers and sandwiches. All their alcohol is craft beer and wine. AND homemade delicious desserts. We fell in love! (we have been there twice in like a week!) The food is great, beer amazing, desserts delicious, and atmosphere is FULL of good vibes. A really great place to eat, hang out, and have a good time. Even David was impressed--which is a big deal. I think we initially went sometime around my birthday and again this past Friday. The bison is so good and all their food comes from local or USA raised/grown produce. They offer a great selection of craft beer and wine.

My birthday was nice and quiet. It isn't always good so I was quite pleased this year with the outcome. We went to the beach on Friday the 5th. It was a perfect beach day. We stayed for several hours. Just laying out, watching the waves, eating sandwiches. What a great day!! We plan to go again soon. I would love to go every weekend. Every time Summer comes around I turn into this huge beach bum and all I want to do is go to the beach. David and I dream of spending summers living on the beach.

Last weekend we went to the Lake Eola Farmers market to pick up produce and look around. I was sad because my salsa guy wasn't there--best salsa you can buy. David makes a pretty damn good salsa when the urge arises. Instead we discovered a small beef jerky company. We purchased a small bag to share after sampling a few flavors. There was a lot of pretty jewelry but there wasn't a lot of money for spending. Next time! Afterwards we went to Metro espresso--legitimately the best pizza in Orlando. I would save "ever" but that would be incorrect as I haven't tried pizza everywhere. We had slices, garlic knots, and beer. Then we were off to another market to purchase more food for David's culinary masterpiece.

So this post was all about food, but that's fine. I realized that you have to make your own happiness and if that is being excited about going to the dog park, farmers market, for a slice of pizza, running errands with my boyfriend, or trying new places (or whatever you like to do)--that is GREAT, because you can't expect anyone to make you happy except yourself. So find happiness somewhere in life.

Plus, food is awesome. In moderation. ;)

Oh hey! I want to try a new thing like live tweeting on slow days or semi crazy days at work (like when I'm waiting for results or radiographs to develop, there are random times I'm standing still for a moment) so you could get a glimpse into my job as the day goes...would that interest anyone?

Let me know!

#nerdsunite

Click here to follow Lindsay on Twitter!

#NerdsUnite: The Dreaded Date Night

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Carmen Denny

Are you and your significant other tired of the same old date routine? Are the repetitive rendezvous holding your relationship back? The truth is at some point in time every relationship will reach a standstill, that point where dinner and a movie just won’t cut it anymore.  

I’m sure as many of you already know, the trick to maintaining excitement in a relationship is creativity, and not just in the bedroom. Don’t let dull dates hold you and your special someone back from maximizing the potential of your courtship. Instead try to focus on keeping your partner on their toes. One of the worst things that can happen in a relationship is when going on dates together has become more of a chore than anything else. If you are one of those couples that’s caught in the vicious cycle of boring nights out, what’s meant to be a highlight of your week turns out being a dreaded outing that you just want to “get out of the way.”

The truth is couples that have been together for a while tend to neglect the creative effort it takes to maintain chemistry. The connection between love birds is not something that is “earned” after a series of cordial nights on the town. You don’t go through the steps of building that chemistry and then say “OK we’re comfortable with each other, now we can stop trying.” An intimate relationship is something that is alive, a fire that must be maintained.

Remember those days when you used to be excited for date night? What happened to that nail-biting anticipation? It’s not like you love your partner any less (hopefully), you probably would have jumped ship by now if that was the case. The fact of the matter is, routines suck. They remind us of work, and therein lies the problem. Relationships are meant to be an escape from the grudges of work and responsibility, something that’s sole purpose is to bring us happiness and fulfillment.

Now before we go any further I just want to clarify that no, I am not some kind of dating Czar. I love going out to dinner with my boyfriend! (as long as he’s buying) Also, as cliché as the classic “dinner and a movie” outing is, it’s two dates in one! You eat AND you’re entertained. What’s there to complain about?! This is probably why the D&M date is a go-to for most every couple. Also why it is often times overused and abused. When I say couples need to inject some creativity into their dating routine, I’m not saying to throw all ideas out the door and start over. Instead work on taking what you know and doing it differently.

So let me lay this out for you, Dinner + Movie = Good Time.

However, 12 months(4 weeks(Dinner +Movie)) =

What I am trying to say here is that you don’t have to ditch the dates that work, just break the repetitive cycle to prevent your night out from becoming a boring snore fest. So you like to eat and be entertained? Skip the D&M idea this week and go to one of those Whodunnit Mystery Dinners. I’ve always wanted to let out my inner Scarlet and solve a murder, or commit one… just kidding, but really…

ANYWAYS, the point I’m trying to make here is that spicing up your dating routine does not mean starting over. Like I said earlier, all it takes to break the repetition is a little kick start of creativity into what you have already established. It’s not hard, but like the beginning of your relationship, it takes effort.

Whether you’ve been dating for a couple months or married for 20 years, don’t let a monotonous courtship keep you from enjoying your better half. Wouldn’t you kill to go back to those days of schoolyard flirting and that butterfly feeling of yesteryear? Or the days when dates were cut short due your inability to resist jumping his bones. Exciting dates create tremendous amounts of sexual tension, falling asleep in your food… not so much. Trust me when I say bringing excitement back to your dating routine will most definitely improve all aspects of your relationship. Let’s be honest here, what’s the best part about date night? The post-date activities of course. So make sure you have plenty of tea lights and Barry Manilow CD’s at the ready because date night is going to get busy! *Wink Wink*

#nerdsunite

About The Author:

Carmen is a freelance writer that enjoys blogging, bike rides, and excessively long road trips with her boyfriend of 6 years. When she’s not working, Carmen likes to spendr time with her friends and family, oh and her pug Anferny, who could forget Anferny?