#NotUrLoverGirl: One lost angel's little journey to find her lover

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Shinarae

It's been a few weeks now & I'm adjusting quite well to the life style out here, and I'm LOVING that!! The impatience, the traffic, the gloom, it's easy to adapt. Just keep smiling at jerky people, find the back roads, sleep late & pray for July, and you're in there like mohair. I've got it, go with the flow, and enjoy every minute of the adventures found out here; even the shitty one's that make me wanna punch DB's in the face!! 

At the very least, it's something (or someone) to laugh at later. Buuuuut there is one thing that I just really can't get with! Guys why oh why are some of you such friggin' girls??

Don't get me wrong, a little metro is chill. I like a guy who knows how to keep himself in shape, or who's toes aren't all gnarly and tore up, and even a deep v-neck tee or short shorts are hot sometimes, personal style is sexy whether you prefer a hipster or an urban lover.  But where does it end??  Mani/pedis & facials, ok, ok, Ima raise an eyebrow, still I'll always take well groomed over unhygenic. This is the other side of equality.  Women get to be execs, and men can be stay at home husbands, duh, of course; so eventually they'd figure out how good spa days feel & want to get in on it.  

But men & for that matter women, I draw the line when you start getting emotional too early.  Well I'm sorry, I just don't know how to deal.  I mean don't string me along for a year, move to another city and tell me "but I do care about you, this isn't over", that's also shitty, but jeez.....
 
After a first date, are you really going to miss me, or (worse so much worse, and really pretty creepy in fact) think that you love me?? Me thinks not, my friend.

In doing my part to "move on"  I've been out a few times here in my new city. Soooooo, potential lovers, how is it that after 1 date, ONE SINGULAR LITTLE DATE, and more often than not not even what I'd consider a good date, I've already heard both of these lines??? How people HOW?? How can you presume to miss &/or love me before you've even gotten to know me???

*pounds on the table*   C'est Impossible!!

Post first date I will know somethings...... 

I'll be quite sure whether or not I want to see my suitor again. 
Heck I'll prolly even know about how long I'll wait before we'll do the nasty; a week, a month, never..... 
I'll know if he's going to be good on paper, in bed, neither or both, but buuuuuuuuuut I don't think I've ever walked away from a first date thinking "Golly...." -that's how a sentence this out-of-the-50's starts "Golly, I'm really going to miss him".  Not even when I really, really, REALLY liked the date, so much so I'm considering pushing up the get down date.  I would never let info like that out that soon anyhow, the smell of desperation is icky.  Bleh.

One of the best & most memorable first dates I ever went on was a few years back, and at the end of it, we stood outside my hotel in the windy summer air and he did something totally unexpected.  He looked in my eyes, then at my lips, then in my eyes again, then at my lips again (and I did the same, waiting.....and wanting) and do you know what he did then???

He did NOT kiss me. He said goodnight and watched me walk inside. I walked away and knew we were both thinking about it. It was such a tease, ooooooh man, and made me fantasize about what I'd look forward to until the next time we saw each other. Still gets me a little tingly.

On a date I ask questions & I divulge intimacies, but chances are that I haven't even told you my last name and if you haven't asked, I assume you're not even interested enough to find out a fairly important detail, so how is it possible to miss someone you don't even truly know. Riddle me this?? 

Frigging grow a pair, show your genuine interest, or at the very least stop lying, whatevs just keep that emotion inside for a while.  You're fucking up the whole ambiance of dating....... It's called mystery.  
Ex. I look amazing with out clothes on,  but even if I want to jump your bones on the first date, I don't have any intention of letting you see me in my skivvy's anytime soon. I guarantee you'll appreciate it a LOT more after I make you work to see it. And thus, I'll appreciate it a lot more if you miss me with all the immediamente I'll miss you lovey dovey fake ass fakeness.

From now on, that's gonna be a deal breaker for me.  If you miss me before date 5, no yellow card for you, you're straight out the game......  & I'm NOT going to miss you.

*Kisses & Deuces*

#noturlovergirl

Click here to read more from Shina & don't forget to follow her on twitter. She's still kinda new to it - so be gentle. Or not, cause rough is hot too. RAWWRRR!!!!!

#Question: Are you a GUD girl/boy??

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @ShinaRae

In the age of social media, mass transit, constant travel and immediate satisfaction, finding the right mate is a challenge. You almost need an algorithm to do it for you, as Jen has shown us, it helps, but even when we find someone who's emotionally available, what about being physically available? I'm just coming out of love with someone who lives on the opposite side of the country, and I allowed myself to be in love even despite distance b/c what I thought we built was bigger than the distance between us....  I'm learning.  

Even with more frequent visits and phone calls throughout the week, he's there in the clubs looking at ass, and I'm here getting looked at like a piece of it, so inevitably somethings got to give.

Apparently the new rule is:  Me love you long time.....but not if it takes too long to get to you!!!

I was talking with my friend Randy the other day about life, love & the pursuit of (mental, physical, sexual) happiness.  

Randy & I have known each other for, ooooooh about 10+ years, and save a couple of make out sessions in the late teen/early 20's years, we've always been homies. So our convo's get REAL. He's got a new chick (with whom he'd just argued about this subject matter) and I've got a broken heart that I'll attempt to mend thru random dating, so naturally our convo turned to relationships and relative distance in LA.

He brought to my attention this new policy he's enacted when deciding whether or not to date....  He asked "Is she GUD girl?"  

What is GUD girl, or guy for that matter??  Well she's/he's something we'll all consider before pursuing a lover from now on, I'm sure.

GUD stands for Geographically Undesirable for Dating, and Randy has it all figured out.

Randy lives in NoHo, so we'll base the theory off of that starting point.  Obv anyone in NoHo is applicable and what's more, ideal for dating, but as the circle expands your desirability declines based on distance, and more specifically travel time.

So he broke it down for me, and now I'll do it for all y'all.....

If she lives within:

the immediate vicinity < 3mi: You can call me anytime 

NoHo, the Hills or Sherman Oaks. Dating locally is Ideal. We can go to each others place easily, or meet out in the neighborhood. From a drink at HH to a late night bedcheck, it's all possible and that's heavenly. Biking to or sometimes even walking over is possible, and we thus won't waste half the relationship in the car separately. Activities in the back seat are sooo high school. We've gotta get a room sometimes & this way it can be yours or mine. That's chill

3-5 Miles or Just over the Hill for a Hump (according to Randall):  

Hollywood, WeHo, Los Feliz & even Burbank are all cool.  He says: "it's worth the trip even if you only get some good FroYo out of it" - that's what he said, really.  

*side note I hate froyo; bleh, prolly reason numero uno why Randy & I have never formally "dated".   
They're close enough that you could, cab or metro it, and you're willing to sacrifice the drive even in traffic for some good ol' one on one.  But Silverlake/Echo Park & even Bev. Hills, are a stretch, for him they fall into the next catergory

More than 5 miles:  Maybe we can work on making a baby

Downtown, SFV or West LA are iffy and can sway either way (usually the too far away way) based on personality & your tastes. If she's extra hot, she gives amazing foot jobs, she also enjoys your love of nachos & luchadores, you might make the exception, but it's rare.  

& finally 7+ miles:  Not worth the wait!!

Whether it's Santa Monica or Emerald Isle Sexting & chatting on skype is cool for a while, but eventually I'm gonna want to see you in person and make out with your face so unless this girl is giving you the ultimate bj's or you're looking to have a weekend beach house or one in the hills to kick it at, this booty is just too far to fetch!!

I love it, and will be implementing it into my life immediately!!  

#noturlovergirl

Click here to follow Shina on twitter!

Introducing ... #NotUrLoverGirl - Just one lost angel's little journey to find her lover!!

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @ShinaRae

LA dating is a horse of a different color.... It's ever changing, and while you may sometimes get a nice ride, it's a wild beast that is unlike any other.

I'm fresh meat to this beast, in the biggest of small towns, and it seems like everyone can smell my warm blood.  Is it possible to make it out of LA dating alive?? (or at least without a kid or std???)   

Now honestly, I'm an intelligent woman, but out here you really need your sniffer on b/c there's a LOT of shit to step around, knowhatImsayin??

While out in WeHo my homegirl Alison & I met up with the lovely Ms TalkNerdyToMeLover herself, Jen, and commiserated over beers about blogs & of course boys..... .....after which we went & met some. You can read about that here.

If you can't tell from this rockin' blog, Jen stays busy.  She seems to be working on about 50 projects at once, and it's inspiring.  I'm surprised she has time to do 103 dates in 9mos.  

Personally, I'm out here to work.  Not here to find a man, woman, relationship, fling or anything of the nature.  I'm busy nursing my own stupid </3 right now, so I figure I'll focus on something that actually helps me instead of hurts me.  But alas this blog does talk a lot about modern dating et al, and since I really can't go anywhere with out someone trying to pick me up, I've decided to document what all the guys who try to fuck me, (let's be real here, most of you aren't truly out here looking for real-ationships) will do for the <3 of the punan.   

While we're on this journey together, I'll dismiss a lot of boys (not men), and they will likely fall into one of 3 categories   FREAK,  FLAKE or FAKE.

I'm pretty curious to see if any men out here actually have what it takes to make me give up my California virginity.

* Side note:  A few years ago I lived here for a while, right around the time the Pick Up Artist (a show based on one of my favourite books 'The Game" by Neil Strauss) had just come out.  Everywhere it was dudes dressed Extra Ghey, *rhinestones, poofy hats, eyeliner, etc. etc.  Whatever they could do to stand out, and draw attention, you know, peacocking.  It's Effing Hilarious!  And some girls actually fall for it, but you know what they say... Rhinestones are a whore's best friend, right?

Anywho, I'm looking for that person who can keep my interest long enough to get to the point where they give me a 4 minute orgasm, or 4 orgasms, or more, or..... I'm getting distracted here.  Sorry. I'm totes horny already, BUT I'm suuuuuuuper picky, and I just don't know if any of the guys out here can cut it. Literally and Figuratively. But I'm always up for a challenge.  So lezzzzzz GO!    

Oh geez I hope this doesn't turn into a blog about my new found chastity! lol

xoxo #noturlovergirl

Click here to follow Shina on twitter!

and click here to check out some of her videos over yonder!