<editorsnote>Hi, I'm Jen Friel, and we here at TNTML examine the lives of nerds outside of the basements and into the social media, and dating world. We have over 75 peeps that write about their life in real time. (Real nerds, real time, real deal.) Sit back, relax, and enjoy some of the stories!!</editorsnote>
It is with great joy, and great fear that I announce to all of you loverly people that Mirror.net is OFFICIALLY LIVE!!!!!
What is Mirror.net you may ask ... WELLLLLLL I go over it pretty in depth over yonder, but basically it is the world's first relationship review application. From friends, to people that you've dated, hooked up with - anyone can leave a review on you (and multiple ones at that).
Here look at this drawing ...
Facebook shows your highlight reel, and you with your best foot forward. There's nothing wrong with that - that's Facebook's deal ... but it fails to provide an accurate idea of who you ACTUALLY are; Mirror solves that problem. Mirror is a collection of reviews from various people in your life joined together to give you a more accurate understanding of who someone is.
People love love love to talk up a big game in social media (ESPECIALLY so called "social media experts"), but what Mirror does is provide you with a transparent look at the individual as told by their friends and previous lovers.
Does all of this sound super scary? And fucking insane? YEP! That's what is SO FREAKING COOL ABOUT IT!!!
I've spent the last two years (and really more than that if you count my time working for one of the founders of Myspace on his project LiveVideo) as a lifecaster, and have grown an INSANE amount through the documentation of my life. I look back now at some posts and friggen CRINGE because there it is in black and white what I said ... but it wasn't what I meant. Your frame of consciousness is super difficult to understand when you are in it. Everything in life is perception, and everything in life is TRULY reflective of US and what we THINK we are seeing, and what bits and pieces we take from each story to call it "the truth." By having a website, and by putting so much of my life out there - I get called out for it. I may think I'm saying something in a certain way, but you guys will tell me to either tone it down, or if I'm being too hard on myself, you all will tell me to ease up. I can't BEGIN to tell you how much of that has changed me for good, and clearly this is also why I am so passionate about this space.
Mirror is just this - but for everyone. You don't have to put "everything out there" like I do, but you will be able to appreciate the growth through transparency - WHICH IS FREAKING AMAZING!!!
If people start leaving reviews for you, and over and over they are saying "Sarah was really great but she does this thing, and it really turned me off ..." You'll get a better idea of maybe why you are still single, or maybe why some of your previous relationships haven't gone the way that you thought they would. Seeing this on the internet is definitely going to be a bit shocking at first, but understand this, 90% of all reviews on Mirror are either positive or constructive.
They have not only a review algorithm to spot the nasty mcnastersons that are jaded or just flat out douchey, and there are also peeps in the office double checking all reviews by hand - so no matter what you're covered. BUT even if something gets posted and you disagree with it, or it's a flat out lie, you can dispute the review and either have them remove it entirely, or comment back on it.
Alrite, so now that I've gone over more of that with you - I'd like to walk you all through how to read reviews on Mirror.
First though, lemme get a song going ..
<tangent> AHHH yes, Moby. Have I mentioned that I have a bald head fetish? I don't know what's wrong with me, but I would do really nasty, and naughty things to Pitbull. Maybe not Moby just because he's a little too skinny for my taste - but Pitbull and other bald headed wonders ... mmmm. I don't know where this love came from, but I'm going to go with it. If anyone knows Pit, btw and can hook a sistah up, lmk ... I'll make sure too I leave a sexAbility review of him on Mirror as well. HAHAHAA!! </tangent>
Anywho, so if you guys go to Mirror.net, this is the screen you are greeted with ...
To navigate use your keyboard and scroll either down, or to the left and right to refresh the carousel.
Pretty cool, eh?
These are all ACTUAL people that have ACTUALLY been reviewed btw. Mirror already has a database of thousands of people (freaking INSANE since they just launched) - so again, these are all actual people that have been reviewed by either lovers or friends.
You have three options when it comes to reading the reviews:
1) Anything with a green icon reading FREE, you can read without signing up.
So feel free right now to go and click on some. It's cool, I'll just totes sit here and twiddle my thumbs. Doop dee doo ... lah dee dah.
2) You can also select one with the red locked icon ...
But to read these reviews, you have to create an account (KEEP YOUR USERNAME ANONYMOUS BTW!!!!!! DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT USE A USERNAME SOMEONE CAN IDENTIFY YOU WITH!! THAT DEFEATS THE FRIGGEN PURPOSE OF IT!!), and you have to write at least three reviews, and have them get approved. (Again, this site isn't about trashing people, but rather providing a transparent look at someone).
Once you've created your account, and written three reviews of someone (which I will go over the writing a review process in a separate post), the red lock is lifted and you can feel free to browse around at all of the awesomeness that is Mirror.
3) You can search for someone by name, location, email, and or phone number.
To search for someone on Mirror, you just have to go to the top of the page, and in the search box type in their info. (Again, either name, location, email, or phone number.) Here, let's type in my name ...
Well looky looky, there I be!
Mirror already has thousands of reviews, but if you have yet to be reviewed you can select the "NOTIFY ME OF REVIEWS" option to stay up to date on what people are saying about you.
FYI, when you click my picture it gives you a red icon, so again, to read my review you're still going to have to create an account and write three reviews ... but it's there.
There you go, nerds - that is the very basic intro to Mirror.net. I'll be updating you guys tomorrow on how you actually write reviews, and will be documenting my adventures using Mirror (like when I was in NY and actually went out on a date with a guy I found. HAHA!! Remember, Mirror isn't a dating service - but if I have an awesome review of someone, why not cyber stalk them and ask 'em out? IT TOTALLY WORKED!!!).
This site is going to be freaking huge, and it's crazy how responsible this is going to make us all as people. You can't hide being a douche anymore - someone, somewhere may just leave an honest review of you!! mwahahahahaha
Oh and if I haven't mentioned this, the founders and the entire team at Mirror are all really really really ridicously good looking. I mean, it's nuts actually ... I kinda don't know what to do with myself ... ::takes deep breath, but realizes I can't:: Hold on, I'm getting verklempt. Here talk amongst yourselves ...
Topic: Would Vegas be what it is today if Americans hadn't been restricted from traveling to Havana.
HAHA oh dear god, I don't know where to even begin - what a wild night last night. I can say, I proudly woke up in my own hotel room ... alone ... but not after some very uh, interesting, meetings.
<tangent> Also on a more personal level, I meet so many people and date so much that this will also hold me accountable and put me on the chopping block and not in any sort of position of power feeling like I have the "last word" with everything by having this site. It's rad, and will definitely keep everything more grounded which is bitchin. </tangent>
So, I was on Mirror yesterday playing around with the new site (which again gets launched this weekend) - and I noticed just how freaking specific their search allows you to get ...
Obviously Mirror is capturing all of this data on the people being reviewed both by their extensive database, and all of the reviews that are coming in daily - so its kinda cool that you can search for VERY specific qualities in a person. As much as I heart OKcupid and have enjoyed my time spent there ... it's fucking bullshit. I now know the qualities that I look for in a person, but it's still a crap shoot in how you're actually able to find someone. Yes, we might be matched high based on our core principals, but I run a business. I have to have to have to date someone that runs their own business too or at least empathizes with the space and the sacrifices it entails which is independent of my core principals.
The countless late night hours, waking up in the middle of the night to write yet still being up at the butt crack of dawn getting shit done and hustling. No one tells me what to do, I am driving my own horse and it psychologically just grabs a hold of you and doesnt let go.
So, the fact that I could literally search for someone with that VERY specific quality IN MY FRIGGEN AREA really meant a lot to me.
Oh yeah, and I can also read their sexAbility and overall dateAbility as well to make sure they're not a giant asshole; information is power, man. You should absolutely 110% formulate your own opinion of someone, obvi, but this is some next level shit. I know what I am looking for in a guy, I just have to find him. OKC and dating sites don't allow that. And Mirror isn't even a friggen dating website - it has a vertical for friendships, AND relationships, however if used in reverse ... how could a nerd NOT use it to find someone? Makes sense right?
I sat there yesterday and started putzing around. I wonder what's out there, I thought.
I typed in the zipcode of the area I was staying in, followed by the age range that I wanted - in my case it was 30-34, and started browsing.
I was shocked at the results - dudes, over 10 pages.
AHHH information overload, have to pinpoint it better.
I then went to the search box and typed in "business" ...
I didn't want to get too specific on "owns business" or anything else to limit too many of the results ... but if someone had that word in their review, given the context, I'm sure I would have found what I was looking for.
I then clicked search for reviews, and to my surprise - I found someone that I was attracted to!!
Right off the bat in one of the first few pages was this guy who owned his own business, had a great review written about him, and also had a pretty cute pic.
I want to contact him, I thought.
I then popped on Facebook, and unfortunately couldn't find anything. Some peeps don't allow themselves to be found in the search function, so I knew he was making this difficult, but not impossible.
I then googled him finding his website - I clicked contact.
Then, the "info@XXXXXX.com" popped up. Not knowing where that was going to be directed to, I didn't want to mislead him thinking I was interested in doing something with him in a professional manner.
Ah fuck, I thought - I wish I could just find his personal email, or figure out a way to contact just him, directly.
I then read through the other pages on his website, and in it I saw an email address for one of his employees. It was just their first name followed by the website.com. AHHHHHH I thought, this is going to be easy, it'll just be his first name at the website.com.
I took a chance and sent out the email, unsure at first what to say but confident in the fact that if I just spoke from the heart, I might get a response back ... and even if I didn't it was worth a try ...
Again, I wanted to make it very clear what my intentions were, and specifically because of what this guy does - his job requires him to meet people ... I just didn't want to be a douche.
To my surprise, 15 minutes later I got a response back ...
I didn't want to tell him about Mirror just yet, so I chose my words VERY carefully.
I then gave him my phone number, and about an hour later he called.
It was very literally one of the most awkward conversations I have ever had with someone. He kept saying over and over, but I'm not online, I'm not on any dating websites.
It's not a dating website, I assured him - it's a relationship review application. You've been reviewed, there is no "opt in" feature. I liked what I read about you and while yes, this may be ballsy, I'm in town and would love to meet.
How old are you, he replied.
27.
He then said he would get back to me, and I hung up the call.
This guy thinks I'm NUTS but I'm just trying to find a more efficient way to date - and this SEEMS like it would make sense, but again, never having done anything like this ... who freaking knows!!!
I interact with people morning, noon, and night - so it doesn't make me special that people are writing things (only awesome) - but just very matter of fact a constant in this space. We're nerds, man!! All we do is post in social media and post on our blogs ... so this guy NOT ONLY read about me from a first person perspective, but I'm sure through all the googling got a pretty solid idea of what I was about.
I emailed him back ...
We then agreed to meet around 9 - and I got back to work playing around with Mirror.
It's crazy cool just HOW MUCH INFO they've collected on people, and just HOW SPECIFIC you can get. It's insane and again some next level shit!! It's intention isn't to connect people, rather literally act as a mirror and just provide a real perspective; but people will do what people will do with it. I've been DYING for something like this to come out to make dating more efficient.
I then left the office around 4:30 to meet up with an old high school buddy, @jonkagan. He reads the site and has been following the adventures. Really great guy, also in the tech world, and now a new proud papa. I was asking him about what it's like to be a dad - and how marriage and life are treating him in general.
It was great, we had a fun time - but after about a half hour I had to jet back uptown to get ready for a fancy pants dinner with the Mirror team.
Earlier in the day, I had gotten a post on my Facebook wall from a friend of the site asking for a drink ...
They were coming all the way up from Philly, so I told them about the dinner and that I would meet them after.
I'll bring you a cheesesteak! said the friend.
It then hit me that I was going to a kosher restaurant, and having worked at the Milk and Honey in LA, I started freaking out going omg omg omg I can't bring a cheesesteak inside a kosher restaurant.
I then emailed the guys back telling them to keep it on the DL and that when they're outside I'll just leave the dinner and we can go and grab a beer before I had to head to SoHo to meet up with my date.
Fortunately, through the awesomeness of timing, the dinner ended before the guys got there - and I was able to leave and head over to where the bus was going to drop them off to meet up.
We went to this really chill place, Lucy's which is right outside Penn Station (where the megabus drops you off), and look at how friggen cute these guys are ...
I literally could not get over the fact that these guys sat on the bus for TWO HOURS to just grab a beer and bring me a cheesesteak.
I know what you went through to get here, and I just have to say- thank you so so much for reading, and thank you so so much for everything. This is GREAT!!!
We then talked about life, love, and all good things in the word of the nerd. They're independent filmmakers and even gave me a copy of their latest film. I can't talk about it yet, because I haven't watched it and I have a strict rule on not promoting things unless I genuinely believe in them.
I have however seen the trailer, and the movie looks ridiculous ...
When in doubt if a guy is going to freak out about meeting you from the interwebz make sure you look extra sexy so he will forget about the awkward set of circumstances and just stare at your lady bits.
Works like a charm everytime!!
I strutted my leggy self upstairs at the SoHo grand hotel, and met my date.
To my genuine surprise, he looked exactly like his picture. Score one forMirror! I thought
We then started talking, and I explained how I was able to find him, and what Mirror is about. He didn't at all seem phased by the fact that he was reviewed, he was more intrigued by who I was and what I was going to write about him.
The whole lifecasting thing freaks a lot of people out since they aren't in control of the content. Hilarious that these reviews obviously say way more - but again that part didn't phase him, I think more than anything he saw the value of what one positive review can do. I literally dropped from the sky into this guy's lap, and within 12 hours of finding him, we were arranging a meeting. How insane is all of this??
We then ordered drinks and the conversation felt a bit ... stunted. We already knew so much about each other it was the very opposite of a blind date.
I'm also too not naturally an inquisitve person, so my defaults always go to asking people about their passion, not just what they do for a living.
We talked about how socially conscious he was, and how much he wishes he could do more in the field.
This guy is pretty cool, I thought. He mirrored my body language, and seemed DEFINITELY guarded but like he was warming up to the sitaution.
We talked for about a half hour, then he admitted he had to be up in a few hours for work.
I normally don't do things like this, but I was intrigued by you. This sounds like a cool site, I'm just curious about how many more of these I am going to get.
You had a great review, I said. What chick wouldn't want to go out with a guy like you!
He then laughed walking me downstairs where he kissed me on the cheek wishing me a safe flight back to LA.
I laughed walking back to the subway, here is a guy that is INSANELY private personally and professionally that was actually pretty kosher about being written about, and having this experience. I even invited him to review me, which I hope he does.
I was all in all elated by the experience. I was very attracted to the guy in person, and while he was absolutely guarded - I dug it. There was no compatability prerequisite, nothing. I knew the qualities I was looking for in a guy so I searched for it using Mirror, and BOOM! Found what I was looking for!!
This is going to make my dating life SO MUCH FREAKING EASIER!!!
So, that happened.
I then went back to the hotel, and after feeling a little sexy sexy still in my Donna Mizani dress, I decided to hit up the hotel bar for some fun.
How long did it actually take?? I could barely send this tweet off before I was engaged in conversation ...
I then spent the night talking to an Israeli playboy that pretty much thought I was the sure thing. It was hilarious actually watching him drop all of these hints that he was taking me upstairs.
I have tattoos, I will show you the one on my shoulder later. blah blah blah blah blah
Dude, I'm over guys like you. He's from Vegas, runs a series of businesses (again, an attractive quality), is aesthetically speaking a beautiful specimen ... but I'm over it. I've soiled my oats, I've boned dudes like you, and now I'm over casual sex.
I decide to be very clear with that fact after he questioned "why I was so far away from him."
I did it tactfully, but I made it very clear that this was not only not going to happen now ... but never. You're hot, I reassured him. If this was 6 months ago there's no doubt I'd have already taken you upstairs and proceeded to do nasty, naughty things ... but I'm done; it does nothing for me.
He laughed inching closer to my face.
Really? I thought. Are you trying to test me?
He continued to bat his gorgeous eyes, and I thought - dude, if nothing else in life I have some SERIOUS will power, and your dick could be made of chocolate flavored awesomeness, and I'm still not going to suck it.
He then kissed me on the cheek and I went back upstairs, alone.
Good job Friel, I thought. Way to be tested by the universe and stand your ground. I take all of this stuff seriously, man. These aren't just novel ideas, I see a Shaman, have a dating coach - I'm GENUINELY trying to better myself through lifecasting and me boning that dude would have been a step back in the wrong direction.
So, here I am. Back in the Mirror offices writing this post, with my backpack and a few more hours before I have to catch my flight at JFK. I'm excited to test Mirror out in LA when I get home, and then at SXSW in Austin the following week. It's a really cool service, and if someone so FEROCIOUSLY private not only wasn't phased about being reviewed, but actually AGREED to meet up with me less than 12 hours after our first interaction - I think they could be onto something.
It's an exciting time to be alive, nerds!!! BAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
And a very very very special thank you to everyone I've met while in NYC. Malik, you the bomb diggity, CE and Matt, you guys are SO hardcore and thank you for the cheesesteak - and everyone else sorry if we didn't get a chance to meet up this trip, but I'll be back soon. Keep on keeping on!!! xoxoxoxo
So, I'm currently hanging in NYC working all this week with this super freaking rad startup that I am CRAZY passionate about, and we just adjourned the morning meeting where I found out that I can FINALLY tell you guys all about it.
Nerds, I'd like to introduce you to my buddy Mirror.net.
It hasn't launched yet (although it is this weekend), but I very literally cannot remember a time I have ever been more passionate about a startup.
For reals, anyone in this space will tell you that we get pitched morning. noon. and night. on the most random, weird, and out there shiznat. Of course, I genuinely appreciate everything you guys send, and this is by no means a diss to anyone - but just VERY matter of fact that when something catches my eye like these guys were able to do ... you know they're onto something.
Here's the rundown ...
First up - let's get a song to go with this post.
AHHH yes, girl talk. this works.
Okey, so what is Mirror? And what the hell is a "relationship review application?"
Here let me very literally draw a picture for you guys ...
Since twitter has still failed to establish its value in the court of public opinion, lemme use Facebook as an example.
This is social media as we currently see it; it is our lives lived with our best foot forward.
You have LinkedIn to give a snapshot of your work history, and Facebook acting as people's primary resource to connect with you on a personal level.
These are our two little lives, as told by us, the way that we want the world to see us ... pretty dandy isn't it?
This digital profile however fails to give you an ACTUAL representation of who this person is, and what they are about.
What Mirror does is provide a perspective from a collective of individuals in your life as told through THEIR eyes - not yours.
The reviews can come from friends, or past dates - but bottom line, THEY create the profile for you ... you have ZERO control of your online reputation in that regard. (haha scary shit, right?)
If I am going to preach transparency, and PREACH openness ... how could I not be involved in something like this?? After all, the bottom line of why I lifecast and why I do what I do is because it is a way for me to better myself and to hold myself accountable for my actions. (Remember, we can never understand our current state of consciousness until we step outside of it. Documenting my life helps me TRULY understand, wow! I thought this ... but I meant that ... wow, I didn't know I was being that way!!) All of this shit is always unintentional, but very matter of fact that this is what we all do! Welcome to life!! Reality is perception, why do you think eyewitness accounts when a crime takes place are so unreliable?
You're never going to understand how or why you are the way you are right now ... BUT if you are willing to be exposed in a certain capacity some extreme learning can come from it, and speaking from first hand experience it friggen changed my life FOREVER!!! I'm so grateful for lifecasting, and so grateful for this site and what I do.
Anywho, so one of the people I heard from when I sent out that announcement was Coldplay cutie. Remember him from last summer? Here's the post I wrote about him, and here is the Mirror review he wrote about me:
Here is what the new Mirror landing page will look like ...
and here is the landing page on my review ...
It is ALL anonymous, so I hid my review handle so people can't trace who I am on the site, since then obvi it would give away the identities of some of the dudes that I've dated. I still heart privacy of others.
The reviewer stays anonymous on Mirror. always. always. always.
Then, you can view my picture (which people are given the option of uploading three pics of you, and again - not how you CHOOSE to represent yourself, but what you ACTUALLY look like) ...
This person chose my avatar, which is smart because obviously I use it on every social network and every anything ...
They are then given the option on the review of highlighting positive qualities that the person possesses, in my case he chose "quick witted, hard working, intelligent, and optimistic."
Then, they asked to select the person's faults - and yes, you MUST select two. Dudes, no one is perfect, and again this is TRUTH AND TRANSPARENCY. Coldplay cutie said that I "needed to think more about others, and needed to be the center of attention."
Does it hurt to read that someone selected those qualities about you? FUCK YEAH! It does!!! ... but get. over. it. Remember, if it hurts it's because it is resonating inside of me in some regard, so now I at least have a next doable action in working on bettering myself ... ::thinks to self:: ah yes, I can tone it down in certain social settings ... dually noted. This is something that I might not have registered in my current state of consciousness, but I am grateful to at least have, and after a few reviews come in if EVERYONE is saying that, you will CERTAINLY have a good idea of what you are "really like."
Each profile has a unique identifier to differentiate each review. Obviously, you'll also have the age, and location of the person, but again, this will give you yet ANOTHER example of how people perceive you.
Here is my unique identifier ...
HAHAHA internet addict. Yep! Good one.
Next, they are directed to comment on you in the relationship. You guys read the post on Coldplay cutie, but here is what he said about me ...
"My head wasn't really into her, although I gave it my best shot, because she's a great girl. However she never disconnects from the internet. She NEEDS to date a fan of her site. It is the only thing she is interested in."
<editorsnote> Mom and dad, stop reading here ... we're going to get a little more in depth, and I don't need to pay for your therapy. Love you! But go away. </editorsnote>
Did that hurt to read? Certainly! I thought at the time that I disconnected from this site and social media as a whole. Of course as you all also know, I have been working on bettering myself with the Modern Day Shaman, and have even made it a habit to not bring my phone out with me while I'm on a date (not like first or second date - but if I'm TOTALLY into a guy after a few dates, and I know he's not like a serial killer) ... I do not, do not, do not, need to give away any attention to my social media accounts. It is something that I genuinely picked up on that I was doing, and have since corrected. FTR, Coldplay cutie and I dated last summer (which is also noted on the review).
He discusses in very black and white what it is like to date me, at that time, in the state of consciousness that I was in last summer.
Again, has this changed? Yep! But I'm still in my own skin and looking at life through my own eyeballs; I'll be curious to read more recent reviews.
Next up, they are asked to review the relationship as a whole ...
That part actually REALLY pissed me off; I never cheated on Coldplay cutie ... we weren't friggen officially dating!! Last summer I still had a fuck buddy, which I talked about openly, so sure - Coldplay wasn't the only guy I was sleeping with, (but always always always used protection with. ALWAYS - and not "just the tip for a second) so how can you be "cheating" on someone if you've 1) never had that convo and 2) only went out 4 times. So lame. (To date however, I have not had a fuck buddy since last summer, ANNDDDD have given up casual sex. Translation: If I am having sex with someone in any capacity it is because I am building a connection with them, and not just boning.)
Next, he discusses my dateAbility a bit further ...
NEXT up, is the part that I CRIINNGGEEEEDDDD over - the sexAbility, aka what the person is actually like in bed:
That masturbation part made me laugh because I remember saying that ... and now I get why I had to give up casual sex last September (a month after he and I dated).
Adequately fulfilling? Ouch. Coldplay cutie and I didn't have good sex ... like at all. We were different people, and he had never had a girlfriend before, which as every lady knows is an investment in a guy to teach them certain things.
As I've said before though, dating has an ebb and flow. (Something that I only recently started exploring. You not only can't rush things, but men have a different way of courting chicks they want to get serious with versus ones they are just looking to bone. And vice versa for chicks, btw. I'll DEF treat a fuck buddy different than a guy I want to actually date, however, females have sex on a more emotional level, so in some capacity even a fuck buddy I will at one point think about dating. Damn you oxytocin!!!)
I actually really appreciated reading his honest perspective of that, and have DEFINITELY taken note on toning down my sexuality when it comes to guys. (Which is REALLY hard for me, btw, because I have such a high sex drive ... but I am learning, I am learning.)
What you now have right here is a review of what I am ACTUALLY like, not what I think I might be like. Of course too, people change ... and things happen ... what's rad about Mirror is that when multiple reviews come in, it will populate similar to your Facebook timeline.
Your most recent reviews will appear first, and then going back. Coldplay cutie and I dated at the end of last summer, now 7 months later hopefully the next guy will write something different ... but who knows! Either way, if I keep getting over and over that I am being overly sexual, or that all I do is talk about TNTML I will DEFINITELY have a better idea of what my problem is dating wise, and am then provided with a next doable action in bettering myself.
I learned from the 103 dates in 9 months that attraction and that "butterfly" feeling that I got from each of the guys I liked was that there was something in them that resonated in me. If you're dating a series of assholes and douches, what in you wants or expects to be treated like that? In very black and white terms (based on the OKC algorithm) I picked the ONLY 4 emotionally unavailable guys in the bunch. What did all of that say about me? And about where my own head is at?
This is now why I've been working with a dating coach, and have a Modern Day Shaman ... it's all I know to do! CLEARLY there are some issues that I am still dealing with, but at least now I have this information to empower myself with and hopefully figure out a way to break the pattern.
Have I done it yet? I don't know. I'm still single, and the thought of falling for YET ANOTHER emotionally unavailable guy completely freaks me out ... but I'm dating, and I'll figure that part out. At least with a site like Mirror however, now I can also get anonymous feedback on what the guys thought of me AFTER or during the fact. (There is an option to select if you are still dating, or if you are no longer together.)
To write a review on Mirror you must provide Mirror with three pieces of information ...
1) The person's phone number
2) The person's email address
3) The person's Facebook URL
You have to have two of the three, and they ping the system using this fancy pants technology that can check to make sure it actually IS their information.
It's SO FREAKING RAD!!!!
Mirror does not publicly post their phone number, nor does it collect it for marketing purposes - rather, they collect it to enhance their search capabilities. You can not only search by someone's name, but by their phone number, and email address.
There are currently two verticals for the site - friendship, and relationship reviews. Another vertical will be announced at a later date, but people will not only be able to see how you are in a relationship, but how you are with your friends!!
And again, like with the relationship review component, there HAVE to be at least two faults that the person fills out about you. Again, none of us are perfect, and this is a GREAT way to capture information on how you can better yourself.
I can already hear you guys from this side of the monitor ...
2) What if someone posts something negative? How is this monitored?
First up, let's talk about facts (since I heart tangibles) ...
90% of all Mirror reviews are positive or constructive. It's incredible actually, and I can speak to my own self in that I have only written ONE bad review (which was actually denied from being posted on Mirror). That's the thing with Mirror, they not only have an approval algorithm, but there is a human that still views everything by hand before any reviews go live.
I ADORED the majority of the guys that I dated, and would LOVE to talk about how great they were, things for just one reason or another ended up not working out, but again, that is something I am working on myself.
Mirror isn't scary, it is only reflective. It isn't life as told through a highlight reel, but life as told by people SEEING YOU LIVE IT!!!
Knowledge is power, and a mirror is only a reflective surface - it's up to YOU to hold yourself accountable for your actions, so bottom line, stop sucking!!!
People are fundamentally honest, and willing to share said honesty as long as they can be anonymous (which again, Mirror is).
<tangent> This is something that I've noticed in taking public transportation for almost 450 days, people are fundamentally "good people." Although you have anomalies here and there ... getting hit with a brick, anyone anyone ... those are one offs. I can't BEGIN to tell you how kind people are, and how many random acts of awesome I have been witness to every day taking public transportation. People want to know that if they are ever in need someone will be there for them, so they in turn reach out to people who are in need. I won't write a "bad" review because I genuinely don't have those kinda people in my life. Even when it comes to online dating!!! I attracted those scenarios in the first place!!! </tangent>
Don't believe me? Write some reviews for yourself. They'll be launching this weekend, and I'll be updating you all on my progress in using the service. I can't BEGIN to tell you how much this excites me, and how EXCITED I am to learn even more about myself in a more transparent environment.
Here's to personal growth! It may not be easy, but the journey is the destination and I am merely enjoying every minute of the ride.
Stay tuned for more info on Mirror. Going. To. Be. Huge.
HUGE HUGE HUGE!!
Oh and PS. their founders are really really really ridiculously good looking. Like seriously, THAT should not be legal. ::sigh::
UPDATE: Coldplay cutie just emailed me saying he knew we weren't exclusive, and I didn't cheat. He claims that he selected the wrong option. ::facepalm::
Tuesday, March 6, 2012 at 9:30AM
