#NerdsUnite: I can haz funny (one nerds journey around the comedic circuit)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Brandon. We started talking on the Facebook not too long ago, and lemme tell you, this guy can throw in quite the few kneeslappers in his emails. Yep, see Brandon is a comedian who is here today to tell you the real deal on what it's like being "on the circuit." I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT BRANDON!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @BrandonComedy

I’m bomb proof, I don’t think it’s possible for me to have a bad set!” -- Me, November 2010

When I tell people I am a comedian, about 50% of people will say some variation of “I would love to do stand up, but I’m afraid of bombing.” I tell them, you’re going to bomb, your going to bomb often, and it is going to suck, but you’ve been bombing at things your entire life. When you were a kid, you couldn’t drive a car, and any attempts to do so would be a tragedy but as you got older, you got behind the wheel, and eventually you figured it out, and got it together. Now you can drive (unless you can’t, at which point you need to stop reading comedy blogs and figure out your life) but if you were asked to drive cross country the first time you got behind a wheel, you couldn’t have done it.

Bombing is just active learning. An audience wants you to succeed (maybe not some urban audiences, but that’s another blog), and by bombing, the audience is telling you, “Hey, we don’t like the thing you’re doing. We want you to figure out what we want, and if you are incapable of doing what we want we will respond negatively. (This would be the most polite heckle you could get)”  

I used to be so afraid of bombing, that I would deny it’s very existence. My early sets are so forgettable, and I was worrying about so many other things that I couldn’t even process that I was mostly bombing. Just like when I was learning to drive, I was so focused on making sure I had a good CD in, my mirrors were in place, and a bunch of other irrelevant shit. I was so busy worrying about nonsense, I didn’t worry about how bad a driver I was. And trust me, I was terrible, I totaled my car jamming to ABBA less than a month after getting my license. 

Look, this is getting weird, and I’m on muscle relaxers and not really committed to the writing process, let’s just end with this. You’re going to bomb a lot. Not just in comedy, but in life. You’re going to be really bad at stuff, and sometimes people will question whether or not you should even be attempting the thing you’re doing. Just be happy, and confident in whatever you’re doing. Because once you get done bombing, and you start to get good enough to make things look effortless, you kill, and killing is awesome.

You’re awesome. (probably)

“Bombing is going to happen, it is inevitable. The best advice I can give you is to try not to bomb twice in the same way.” -- Me, three days ago

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Brandon on twitter & don't miss his blog over yonder!

#NerdsUnite: I can haz funny (one nerds journey around the comedic circuit)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Brandon. We started talking on the Facebook not too long ago, and lemme tell you, this guy can throw in quite the few kneeslappers in his emails. Yep, see Brandon is a comedian who is here today to tell you the real deal on what it's like being "on the circuit." I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT BRANDON!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @BrandonComedy

I’m starting the next phase of my comedic journey this summer. I’ve already moved all of my stuff out of my place in Oklahoma, now I’m hanging out at my parents’ house (woo) saving up money to move to Chicago in August. 

Oklahoma was a cool enough place to start comedy, but at the end of the day there are too many comics for such a small scene. There comes a time in every young comics life where they look at the situation they are in and they have to say either “I’ve done everything I can do in this scene, it’s time to move” or “It is time to consider this a hobby and not a job.” Comedy is more than a hobby for me so the decision was an easy one, I’m getting the fuck out of Oklahoma.

Chicago seems like it is going to be the perfect scene for me. I can get on stage every night, there are enough industry showcases to get seen, and get TV work, and it isn’t as competitive as LA or New York for stage time. From what I hear Chicago seems like it is a really helpful place for a lot of comics to take it to the next level.

Anyway, enough about that, here are some terms and definitions that you can use to talk to comics, and they make you sound like you are totally in the know. 

Comedy, like every other esoteric occupation has its own language. Fortunately for you, that language is based in english! But in discussing comedy I noticed I have slipped in some of this lingo. Now we both know YOU are smart and able to use context clues, but the person next to you... ugh.

Alt Comedy: A comedy show where anything goes, the jokes tend to be a bit longer, laced with more pop cultural references. Alt is weird to define because it covers a huge spectrum. But usually a crowd that goes to see an alt show, and knows that’s what they are going to see, doesn’t have any expectations.

Bachelorette Party: The worst most obnoxious group of guests at any comedy venue.

Bomb: bombing can be defined in many ways, but it boils down to not getting the laughs you expected.

Booker: Someone whose job is to book shows, they don't really care who they book, so much as they get a guy to fill a slot.

Bringer Show: Bringer shows are more popular in big cities, and are a terrible burden on beginning comics. The way a bringer show works is you get a slot, and to keep your slot you have to bring a certain number of people to the club/venue. The problem with this model is you only have a finite number of friends/people who will come watch you talk, so doing these types of shows causes you to burn through your friends rather quickly, and sometimes before you were ready to have a lot of people you know see you.

Closer (joke): USUALLY the biggest joke of your act. Guys like Bill Cosby just close on whatever joke, Paul Mooney also does this. One time Carlos Mencia closed a set with some weird advice piece he probably stole? I don't know, it was weird.

Crowd work: Interacting with the crowd. Some comics see this as taking the easy way out, those comics are dumb and probably terrible, and you probably don't know their names. F*ck those guys.

Emcee: The worst, dumbest slot in a show. And sometimes the first paid slot you can get. The emcee has to set the tone for the crowd, go on cold, and bring up all the comics. It isn't that being an emcee is bad, it's just that people don't see you as a comic just a guy who works at the club and you have to do dumb things sometimes. Basically the emcee is the opener, the most forgettable person on the show. Some guys are great emcees, awesome.

Feature/Middle: The awesome spot in the show, you do 20-30 minutes, you can come to the show kind of late and you can leave early. 

Hack: A comedian who consistently fails to generate original material, and often results to stealing other comics hard work. Also a comedian whose jokes lack any sort of depth.

Headliner: Highest billed/highest paid comic on any given show. Usually does upwards of 30 minutes a set.

Open Mic: Anyone can sign up and do time, you have to do these to do showcases.

Set: an allotment of stage time, in minutes.

Showcase: A chance for advancing comedians to show bookers, club owners, or other industry types a tight  set.

Urban show: A show with a mostly black or Hispanic audience.

Well, now you know all of that stuff. Feel free to lie to comics and pretend you are one of them to sneak back stage!

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Brandon on twitter & don't miss his blog over yonder!

#NerdsUnite: I can haz funny (one nerds journey around the comedic circuit)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Brandon. We started talking on the Facebook not too long ago, and lemme tell you, this guy can throw in quite the few kneeslappers in his emails. Yep, see Brandon is a comedian who is here today to tell you the real deal on what it's like being "on the circuit." I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT BRANDON!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @BrandonComedy

This wonderful story takes place in Piqua, KS. (The only bar in Piqua, KS)  with a road comic: I got this show through a booking agent, it was a last minute fill in for another comic, and I didn't have anything better to do. So I went to Piqua, with the headliner, as in we rode together, as in someone else controlled how quickly I could leave a given area. I had to meet the headliner in Bartlesville, a place I had never been, and promptly got lost leaving. The first thing out of the headliners mouth should have let me know what I was in for... "They didn't say you were a black feller... Oh well, let's see what happens." WHAT?! Never mind, I need the money, and I am committed to the show. Let's get this over with, if I am lucky I will get home in time to get yelled at by the girl!

After the smallest of small talk, and several hours of driving, we arrive in Piqua! Not that a sign or anything would inform you of such a fact... We get to the bar and to my horror I see the sign advertising the show, it read "100% pure redneck comedy! "Now I don't know if you've gotten a good look at me, but I am not even 80% pure redneck. I was required to do 30 minutes, which is normally not a problem. But to a group who, by their own admission, had never seen another black person, it was weird... Real weird. Like out of a movie weird. I got some pretty gnarly looks and mostly just talked at a crowd for a half hour. Get me the f*** out of here.

After the show the headliner wanted to stick around and sell T-shirts, you know because his life wasn't on the line. So I got to sit around and listen to all manner of "I didn't like that joke about interracial dating you told...." "Barack is going to take my guns" blah blah blah, get me the f*** out of here.

Another hour of bs and I got to ride home, and hear about other similar gigs the headliner could get me! YAY! I got back to my car, and promptly lost his number. Then my phone died and I got lost for 3 hours. Shows me.

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Brandon on twitter & don't miss his blog over yonder!

#NerdsUnite: I can haz funny (one nerd's journey round the comedic circuit)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Brandon. We started talking on the Facebook not too long ago, and lemme tell you, this guy can throw in quite the few kneeslappers in his emails. Yep, see Brandon is a comedian who is here today to tell you the real deal on what it's like being "on the circuit." I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT BRANDON!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @BrandonComedy

The rules of open mic comedy: 

• You will kill every time no one is watching
• You are your worst critic, until you do decent, at which point everything you think is overinflated and wrong.
• YOU WILL BOMB EVERY TIME THAT YOU…
  • Decide comedy is going to be profitable
  • Invite a girl you plan on sleeping with to see you
  • Invite a friend to see you after telling them how good you have gotten
  • Ask the owner to watch your set
  • Ask a headliner to watch your set
• Plaid pattern and a beard are now your new friends
• Your friends now expect you to always be “on”
  • You won’t
• Someone less funny than you will inevitably give you ADVICE
  • OF COURSE THE ADVICE WILL BE SHITTY
• A comic you respect will tell you that you did a good job or are improving (out of kindness or a lost bet more than likely). You will take this to mean that you are the best comedian to ever perform and that next week you should headline. DO NOT HEADLINE
• Make sure to film and post every set you ever do on youtube, when it sits at 14 views for 7 months you can remember how far from the top you really are.
• That new killer joke you wrote sounds a lot like another joke by another comedian, congrats people now think you steal material
• You will do the shittiest shows every chance you get because you love comedy and although it isn’t the most financially viable plan you’ve ever had it is the one thing you are passionate about and if you work real hard at it for a really long time, you might get to MC but odds are the booker will need to see another set…

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Brandon on twitter & don't miss his blog over yonder!

#NerdsUnite: I can haz funny (one nerds journey around the comedic circuit)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Brandon. We started talking on the Facebook not too long ago, and lemme tell you, this guy can throw in quite the few kneeslappers in his emails. Yep, see Brandon is a comedian who is here today to tell you the real deal on what it's like being "on the circuit." I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT BRANDON!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @BrandonComedy

I am a black guy, by no choice of my own. I am a comedian, by my own admission. Combining those two statements one can reasonably infer I am a black comedian.

I have a problem with this title, it implies I do the sort of comedy that is popular and prevalent in black culture. I do not. I respect the f*** out of what those guys do; the way they perform and the entire Def Jam style of comedy. That said, I don’t do that style, at all. Sure I do a little crowd work here and there, but the issues and topics I bring up in my comedy have little to do with my being black.

Why bring this up at all? 

A few nights ago some of my comedy friends and I were discussing what “mark” we think we have made on the local comedy scene*, when one of the comics conceded that I was indeed the funniest black comedian in Oklahoma City**. This is unfortunate because my entire comedy career I have thought of myself as a comedian first, and a black person never (I don’t see color in comedy, funny is funny). BUT this guy is saying that my blackness DEFINES my comedy.

Calling me the funniest black comedian in Oklahoma City feels like a slap in the face. I know it was genuine, but it came across as a backhanded compliment. I work my ass off to be known as someone of great comedic sensibilities and still in 2011 (when this was written) my most defining characteristic is that I am funnier than a group of people (with which I have nothing in common other than skin) that do comedy infrequently at best!

I am not a fan of judging someone’s comedy by any barometer other than funny. I don’t want to be in the position to call someone the funniest “alt” comic I know, because that term has a set definition and that person may or may not see themselves that way. I know I don’t think of myself as a black comic - I am just a comedian. What Bill Cosby does on stage certainly isn’t considered black comedy, but he is a black guy. 

My goal in comedy isn’t to be the funniest black anything. My goal in comedy is to be the best. I don’t want some dubious claim like “the best comic under 40” or “the best comic since blah blah blah” I just want to be the best. 

*I know how arrogant it sounds to assume I have made a “mark” on a community in two years, I also know I don’t care.

**There are MAYBE 6 black comics in Oklahoma City. Of them I am probably the best. Also I am the only one pursuing comedy full time. 

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Brandon on twitter & don't miss his blog over yonder!