#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Victor Ho
I apologize to my female readers in advance. This list is geared towards anybody with the Y chromosome who digs hot girls. You see, in high school I was a total nerd. No cheerleader or girl next door would even know I existed. Instead of going on dates, I went alone to the movies where a guy with no life can retreat in a make-believe world of femmes fatales. I’ve since become a pop culture ninja. Give me a list of X-Men females and I can tell you who I’d cast to play the movie role. I could have listed up to 50 girls but this is not Maxim. I do enjoy watching chick flicks though (I loved Dirty Dancing and Fried Green Tomatoes) and perhaps I can make it up to you with a chick flicks list for manly men in the future.
And no, there will not be anything from porn. So let’s begin with…
5. ANGELA HAYES (MENA SUVARI) FROM AMERICAN BEAUTY
It’s probably one of the best movies in the past decade. Kevin Spacey plays a character we can fictionally relate to. He’s a hard-working man with an unloving family and going through a mid-life crisis. His life takes a tragic turn when he tries to define a beautiful moment. It helps when you have eye candy in the form of a seductive cheerleader like Mena Suvari. She brings a new meaning to the saying “stop and smell the roses.”
4. MIKAELA BANES (MEGAN FOX) FROM TRANSFORMERS
Giant robots plus hot babes equals I’m so there! It doesn’t matter if I’ve never seen a girl that looks like Megan Fox in my pathetic 4 years of high school. What does matter is that she knows automobiles. And that can be a turn on to some guys who are into the fast and the furious kind of stuff.
3. NANCY CALLAHAN (JESSICA ALBA) FROM SIN CITY
In the original graphic novel by Frank Miller (writer of The Dark Knight Returns), the Nancy Callahan character dances topless. But in the movie version, Jessica Alba bumps and grinds with a lasso that makes you forget you wanted to see her naked in the first place. At the 2008 San Diego Comic-Con, Miller said when he first saw Alba dancing up on stage to a song he picked, he had tears coming down from his eyes. I don’t blame him.
2. LINDA BARRETT (PHOEBE CATES) FROM FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH
There is one scene that ranks as the most famous and accurate adolescent act ever done on film. Judge Reinhold plays a loser high school senior who spies on the sexy Phoebe Cates in the swimming pool. Backed by a classic 80's song by The Cars, he begins to fantasize about making out with her. Right before he gets into a beautiful agony, he is interrupted by the real world Cates in an embarrassing situation. It's outdated but still a classic!
1. PRINCESS LEIA ORGANA (CARRIE FISHER) FROM STAR WARS: EPISODE VI-RETURN OF THE JEDI
Best looking Leia at Comic-Con. Photo by Neil Figuracion.
The official geek term is Slave Girl Leia. It’s no surprise Leia gets her forceful charms from a hot MILF and a bad-ass Sith warrior. The image of her from innocent damsel in distress to hot body bikini contest winner of a galaxy far away has remained the most popular fantasy dream girl among Gen X males… and beyond. Jennifer Aniston never looked so funny when she dressed up as one in the hit TV show, Friends. And I’m shooting myself in the foot for missing the Deal or No Deal episode where all the female models wore the costume. But in, Fanboys, it girl Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars, Heroes) got her chance to tease some lightsabers.
HONORABLE MENTION: NUMBER SIX (TRICIA HELFER) FROM BATTLESTAR GALACTICA
You know what I'm talking about... any scene with Tricia Helfer in it is absolutely mesmerizing. Man, if the frakkin’ Cylons look anything like her, I would have surrendered faster than Baltar can wiggle out of his guilty conscious. And how lucky can a bitch like Baltar be to get into a threesome with Number Six and D’Anna (Lucy Lawless; also known as Xena: Warrior Princess)?!?
Editor's note: The TNTML difference between a geek and a nerd? Nerds are a product of a genetic predisposition, geeks are raised. #nuffsaid
Saturday, July 31, 2010 at 3:57PM
