<editorsnote>Hi, I'm Jen Friel, and we here at TNTML examine the lives of nerds outside of the basements and into the social media, and dating world. We have over 75 peeps that write about their life in real time. (Real nerds, real time, real deal.) Sit back, relax, and enjoy some of the stories!!</editorsnote>
We are TWO days away from Talk Nerdy To Me Lover's "The Dirty Truth About Nerdy Girls!"
How excited are we???
The show consists of dramatic interpretations of OKCupid emails, acted out dates, and of course the main event, the storytelling portion of the show "The Dirty Truth About Nerdy Girls!"
For the dramatic intrepretations this month we have ...
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Eric. He is a MAASSTTEERRR social dynamics expert that will be talking about his experiences in the field from both an expert, and experience perspective. He's not just saying "this is how to get the girl" he's here to share his actual life stories and lessons learned from them. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ERIC !!</editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Redolpho
Life is one of the greatest adventures that we can embark on. I say ‘can’ because not everyone decides to treat their life as an adventure. Writing for this blog and starting this project with Jen has already been such a reflective experience. I was speaking with Jen the other day and I asked her what is most likely a common question of seasoned bloggers, “What should I write about?” After writing about 30 pieces that were purely instructional material I realized that this shit is going to bore the pants off of everyone. As an ever curious person I have a deep desire to gain something meaningful from this experience as well. Jen’s advice was simple, be transparent and put yourself out there. So I’m just going to blab here for a minute and I’d love your feedback if you have the time to reach out. You can contact me via email (eric.rudolph.carrillo@gmail.com), my Twitter (twitter.com/redolpho) or friend me on Facebook (facebook.com/redolpho). I’d love to talk. I’m so good at putting myself out there with people on an in-person level but doing it for a blog where I may never see so many of your faces is a whole new experience.
I have been couch-surfing for about two years now and interestingly enough I credit my exploration into social dynamics for my current state of habitation. When I began my adventure into social dynamics it really began as a exploration into myself. I wanted to shed my dork-dom for good, I wanted the quality of my sex to increase and I wanted to feel like I had something substantial to offer to the world. I think that deep down we all want to make a difference and leave our mark.
It’s interesting how sometimes our attraction to something can be so far separated from the meaning that we obtain from it. I wonder if it’s our subconscious doing the searching for us. My journey into social dynamics is no different. I started like most guys do, because of sexual interest. Four years later I’d say that what I’ve gained from it has been so much more substantial. The flip side is that I have come to expect so much more from myself, it’s a form of enlightenment that can be daunting.
I live a lot of my days wondering if I have what it takes to do something of meaning. What if I die and I’ve accomplished nothing meaningful? I pissed away so much of my early life and for a while now I’ve lived with this constant fear that I’m pissing away the next faze day by day. Although many people I meet tell me how much potential I have I’m still homeless. And although I know being 27 and living far below the poverty line contributes to it significantly, I still get depressed way too often.
All I want is to make a difference, live a life of passion and see the world. It’s easier said than done, I’ve had to sacrifice so much and I’m ready to feel the sun on my face. I want to be able to afford my own place again and do it by performing a job that I love, that actually matters. So I am just going to stay present and keep trying to learn something new every day.
For some reason I was blessed with an aptitude for social dynamics and I can’t think of a better way to make the world a better place. We all face our struggles in this world and I know that there are a lot of guys whose struggle is women. I’m not waiting any longer to start making a difference. Email, tweet or Facebook me your questions and I’ll answer one of them for an upcoming blog piece. I’m greatly looking forward to growing with this community because I need you just as much as some of you may need me. Cheers.
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Derek - I met him when I was professor for a day at CSF. Really rad dude, and he wants to come on board to help explain to us nerdy folk the wild world of sports. Smart dude, and knows his shizzy shiznat. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT DEREK!!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @DerekJ_AllDay
Helloooooo sports fans! The sports world has been all over the place this week from yet another huge comeback by the U.S women's soccer team while on the brink of elimination, to the Tebow turmoil in New York. Not to be overshadowed by other drama, seven All Star starting pitchers started yesterday including CY Young favorite and hopeful Jered Weaver who threw a complete game shutout with seven strikeouts against the Athletics. Also, Justin Verlander, the reigning AL CY Young and MVP award winner pitched eight shut-out innings against the Yankees and struck out fourteen batters along the way making a great lineup look foolish. These are the stories that I will be covering today, but first I must acknowledge a tragic story from the NFL.
Garrett Reid, the oldest son of Philadelphia Eagles head coach Andy Reid, passed away on Sunday. Reid's son has had a history of serious drug abuse issues and what people have called “run-ins” with the law. Naturally, the masses are assuming that this is a drug related death and they are probably correct. Regardless of the cause, the death of Garrett Reid is a tragedy to the Reid family and I wanted to take a paragraph here to acknowledge him and his loved ones.
On to more uplifting news, the USA Women's soccer team has done it again! The US was matched up against Canada yesterday in a semi-final battle for a trip to the gold medal game. Our girls have never missed a trip to the gold medal game, and they sure as hell weren't going to start now. The Canadians played a great game, and in many ways it is warranted to say that they outplayed the Americans. Canada was leading 3-2, until the referee called a foul against Canada that I have never seen called before on any level in my life. The call was that Canada's goalkeeper held onto the ball for longer than six seconds which is technically against the rules. Although, this foul is never called and especially not during such an important game. Abby Wombach proceeded to drill home the following penalty kick to tie the game at 3-3 with just ten short minutes left in the game. Regular time ended 3-3, and in extra time the American's won the game with a great header from young star Alex Morgan. It is fair to say, that in this instance the US completely lucked out, but sometimes (all the time?) it is better to be lucky than good, and now they will meet Japan in the gold medal game.
Does anyone think that the Jets would have been better off signing Brett Favre rather than trading for Tim Tebow? Me either, but I can't believe how close it is. I just don't get it, the Jets were already stuck with a mediocre quarterback in Mark Sanchez, so it was my assumption they would load the team with talent around him to make him look better than he is like they have done in the past. Instead, they decide to trade for an even more mediocre QB in Tebow! I suppose the plan is for Tebow to go in and work his comeback magic whenever the Jets are losing, or to give opposing defense a different look with Tebow in a wildcat formation. The only issue is, last time I checked it took Tebow a whole four quarters of constantly chucking the ball up in the air and scattering around the field to score just seven or ten points. The reason Tebow had a chance to win was because his defense was the best in the NFL for most of the games he played in. They want an unbelievable amount of low scoring games and that is almost always a sign of great defense. I mean hell guys, why do you think Denver traded him? He was too good? My point is simple, Tebow is not a talented quarterback and there is no way that his lucky streak can continue.
Thanks for reading again guys! Just as a side note, I went up to Lake Arrowhead with my buddy and fished all day yesterday. Great fishing! Caught a couple crappie, easily 7 or 8 small mouth bass and there were a few trout sightings but nothing on the hook. Hit that place early morning around 5:30 and you will be swimming in trout and bass which both eat regular bait worms. Tweet me @DerekJ_AllDay about anything!
I only cried yesterday for 15 minutes!! MASSIVE improvement from all day Sunday when I was still reminding myself to inhale and exhale.
I've said this before, I'll say it again - this site is such a blessing and curse. Blessing in the fact that the second I tell guys I'm back "on the prowl" I have a rebound rate of less than 24 hours, and a curse in that I have to filter out the guys that I date and check out their intentions. It's HORRIBLE being manipulated by a dude who is just trying to become a "character" in your story. Those dudes just want to be written about to appease their own ego and they ALWAYS end up totally hurting me. I get played like a freaking violin!! I have a bullshit meter like no other, and I do throw a few "tests" in but it's still hard documenting your life in real time and not have the outcome manipulated.
<tangent> Even in some of the emails people were sending me yesterday, they kept asking how all of this was even real ... I'm like chiiiilllllldddddd the truth is SO much stranger than fiction. Yes, all of my stories are 100% truthful with many many many witnesses, location based social media checkins, etc. I'm just ferociously conscious about only dictating my personal experience and my personal opinion within all of the experiences. Just because I choose to make my private life public doesn't mean that everyone in my life is comfortable with that as well. </tangent>
I have to say though in general, I don't think I've ever been so proud of myself at handling heartbreak. I keep checking my emotions to make sure that I'm not just suppressing them and I genuinely feel pretty good about things. I can't stop thinking about him obvi, but I think it's easier knowing that we are at least going to stay good friends, and knowing that he's still in my corner if I need anything. Like I said yesterday, I've NEVER felt so protected and intellectually stimulated by someone. Again, I don't say that to sound elitist but my brain fires off on all cylinders all day every day. I genuinely don't MEAN to run circles around guys, but I can't help it - it's who I am and how my brain works and to deny that is to deny a big part of who I am.
I catch myself periodically thinking though that "love conquers all" but I'm not sure how healthy that statement is. IMHO, based on what I've learned about consciousness and self awareness in the last almost 3 years, if you truly had selfless love and no attachment - you should have no problem understanding that sometimes things just aren't going to work out.
Look at mine and Antonio's positions from a logical perspective:
1) 27 almost 28 year old girl. New business owner. New Media Personality/ Lifecaster. Public. Wants to get married. Wants to have kids.
2) 46. Nearing the end of his career. Very private. Already been married. Doesn't want kids.
What in those two sentences matches up? The only thing Antonio and I had in common was this crazy passion for one another and the fact that we're both uber smart. Literally ... nothing else. How can I speak my own personal truth and he speak his when we have such a limiting common denominator? Sure Disney, Hallmark and all other means of commercialized versions of love want us to believe otherwise - but how can you still speak your personal truth (which is the key to true happiness) when it differs so much from someone else? I know that love requires a compromise, but where is the line between a healthy compromise and a deal breaker? If someone doesn't want kids they shouldn't be forced to have them but for Antonio to make me happy I'd have to have his baby.
How is that okay for him and his personal truth? Doesn't make sense, right?
The root of the pain in this heartbreak came from expectation. I EXPECTED to have those things with Antonio based on my feelings for him. Because we were both so alarmingly transparent with each other from our very first date he quickly realized that our truths didn't match so rather than string me along he did an act of selfless love and just set me free.
Now with NEWER expectations set (a friendship), I can now focus on that and enjoying our time together and not trying to analyze him and figure out what the future would hold. The future is now!!!! Life is happening in the now.
You have an obligation to show up for your own life every day and live it in as truthful of a manner to yourself as possible. This goes for friendships, relationships, family dynamic - EVERYTHING!!!!
THAT is the root of the human experience!!!
Do you have any idea how much I would have resented Antonio if he strung me along for years and years? I love the guy SO FREAKING MUCH and I'm SO FREAKING LOYAL he never evveerrrrr would have been able to shake me.
On that note, tonight I'm meeting up with my old neighbor who took me to work for my one shift at the strip club. Remember when my tires got slashed right before my shift as a cocktail waitress? Yep, true story. (read here) He randomly friended me on Facebook this week and when I saw the name I was like I know this guy ... I know this guy ... HOLY SHIT!! I haven't seen him in over 4 years.
And then on THURSDAY I'm headed to VEGAS for just the night for a date!! Unlike Antonio, this isn't a date starting in LA and ending up in Vegas, this is just a guy that asked me out and I said yes (once I knew I'd have my own hotel room). I wasn't going to have any dates this week to give myself enough time to process things, but might as well just get back up with a bang.
I'm done with casual sex, I'm done with all the BS - time to have some zen through the art of adventure (as @itsmejoolie says)!
Oh and one more thing ...
click the screen capture to read the comments on Facebook
Wednesday, August 8, 2012 at 11:24AM
