<editorsnote>Hi, I'm Jen Friel, and we here at TNTML examine the lives of nerds outside of the basements and into the social media, and dating world. We have over 75 peeps that write about their life in real time. (Real nerds, real time, real deal.) Sit back, relax, and enjoy some of the stories!!</editorsnote>
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Eric. He is a MAASSTTEERRR social dynamics expert that will be talking about his experiences in the field from both an expert, and experience perspective. He's not just saying "this is how to get the girl" he's here to share his actual life stories and lessons learned from them. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ERIC !!</editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Redolpho
I did it. I finally came out and said what I had been hiding for too long. I have been feeling suicidal and I hadn’t told anyone until last night. For the last 6 months I’d walk down the street hoping for a car or truck to plow over the curb and end it. When I’d walk I’d close my eyes and imagine the moment of impact, it would bring a sense of calm over me, no stress or sadness anymore, just a silent calm end. I’m sitting at the beautiful West Hollywood Library right now trying not to cry. This has been one of the hardest times in my life to date.
In one of my last posts I downplayed the level of sadness I was feeling but I’m not going to lie anymore, not to myself and not to the world. No one deserves to feel that way and it’s high time that I start following my own advice and do what fulfills me. Being a social dynamics coach and watching these guys’ lives change right in front of me brings a warmth to my soul that is unspeakable. The only rivaling feeling I’ve ever felt is the adventures of traveling. I intend to do a lot more of these two things.
I was recently at a bar with Jen Friel and the conversation headed for the depths of my soul. Finally I let go and told her how I was really feeling. An entrepreneur friend of hers joined us and helped me realize that I have nothing else to lose. I already gave up my job that paid me well, I’ve been homeless for the last two years and I’m sad. What else is there? I couldn’t sleep because of our conversation. I had experienced a daunting enlightenment and all that is left is to act. This morning when I awoke there was a certain sense of calm that fell over me. I know what I need to do but the decisions are still not easy to make. There have been points in my life similar to this and I can feel the courage brewing within me to make the hard decisions I have to make. I’m ready to jump but I’m still scared.
Today I have something to be extremely grateful for and that’s my first social dynamics class. So I’m off to prepare and I’ll continue to keep you updated on what is to come. I am searching deeply for the courage to make the decisions that are on the horizon. Thank you to everyone who keeps me moving forward. If it weren’t for your words and your hugs I may not still be here. If you’re feeling this way as well then reach out to me or reach out to a friend. Let’s talk and grow together.
I'm obviously going to get to a point with that story when I can FULLY laugh at it ... but it's not happening right now. Oh life!!
Either way, my latest and greatest from the Suicide Girls blog is now live. In this post I discuss the 5 ways to not suck at social media.
I totes heart writing for Suicide Girls btw. It's like being a dude and getting to write for Playboy ... only this is SO much better because I'm a chick and I have boobs I can play with at any given moment.
WINNING!!!
Enjoy sexy lover faces and thanks for reading everyone!!
Oh cheese between the knees ... haha ... what a wildly random evening.
So, yesterday, we had our last rehearsal for the stage show (WHICH IS THIS FRIDAY AT 8PM IN HOLLYWOOD), and somewhere around 8 I got a text from my buddy Seth asking if I was free to kick it.
Seth and I met way way way back in the day at the Playboy Mansion. See, I've been going there for wow, 7 years now? shit ... and all of their parties are invite only, no plus one, non-transferable. Out of all of my friends that would submit pics it was super freaking awkward that year after year I was the only one that ever got invited. I'd still go by myself no problem ... I can make friends easily ...
Either way ... to get to the mansion you have to be shuttled on. The night of the party pictured above, I don't know why but I wanted to peace out super early. I'm assuming my ADD just got the best of me and I wanted to continue chasing shiny things - but either way, I walked out to the front and unfortunately it was too early for the shuttles to be ready to take people back.
Me never taking no for an answer, I walked up to one of the guys standing by the super fancy pants cars that got a "drive on" and asked them if they knew what time the shuttles were arriving.
Are you headed back? asked the driver
Yeah. I'm tired, I said.
Are you by yourself? he asked
Yep. I said.
He then motioned over to his friend and said hey! can you give this girl a ride back to the parking garage?
Sure, he replied. Get in.
Seconds later the door to a Rolls Royce opens and suddenly I am in the backseat.
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ... I thought.
<tangent> Obvi it didn't hurt that this was my full outfit ...
</tangent>
I sat in the back of the car and quickly made friends with the driver.
What exactly is it that you doooooo?? I replied sheepishly.
Dudes, Rolls are NO joke!!
I work for an entrepreneur.
Must be a tough life! I said laughing.
I'm Jen, I said reaching through the car to shake his hand.
I'm Seth, he said.
He then drove me back, and we swapped digits.
I put him in my phone as Playboy Seth, and he put me in his phone as Jen Bunny Ears.
Flash forward a bit to the days of social media, and we friended each other on Facebook. Low and behold we had no less than 10 mutual friends, and Seth and I have stayed buddies over the years. He's alwwaayyyssss traveling around the world with his boss, but he's genuinely one of the SWEETEST guys ever, and genuinely one of the most respected.
Everyone in LA knows Seth.
When I saw his text I knew no matter what it was going to be an interesting party and since I hadn't seen Seth since I started the site I thought it would be rad to get to catch up.
I ask him if he can add my buddy Amanda to the list, and flash forward to 10pm we arrived at the event.
As we were waiting for Seth outside, Amanda and I quickly realized this wasn't our scene. I've DONE the Hollywood thing for years and years and years. It was cool when I was 22 and completely insecure to get into any club that I wanted to rub shoulders with the rich and famous. At 27 though? I just wanna drink and have fun with my friends.
After we said hey to Seth and chit chatted for a bit, Amanda and I then decided to head over to Dillons where they have cheap booze and cute boys.
As we sat down at our table she says, I really wish some British boys would come over to talk to us.
I then continued sipping my Allagash scoping out the scene.
Not 5 minutes later I feel a tap on my shoulder and hear "excuse me?"
I turn to my right and there are three British male students standing in front of us.
I look back at Amanda ... shocked.
Talk about the laws of sexual attraction.
We then gave the boys some tips on where to go in Hollywood and then sent them off on their way.
Students??!?! Jesus ...
We then stayed a bit longer talking to a bunch of foreigners and by 1 we were ready to peace in the middle east.
Being the economically savvy chica that I am, I LOVE taking the bus. I said to Amanda, let's just grab the bus back. My treat.
We then started walking to head down to catch the bus, and about a block south of the bar this homeless man with a white bucket and two drum sticks shouts at us - I GOT WHAT YYOOOUUU NNNEEEDDDDD!!
I'm assuming he was talking about drugs and maybe sex ... but either way, not my scene, so we kept walking.
I then hear the beat of the drum, and it's still behind us.
I turn around - he's now following us. Oh fuck, I think. My mama hen spidey senses immediately kick in and I tell Amanda to keep walking faster.
We then cross yet another block and the guy is still behind us.
I then saw this bar (which used to be Cafe Was), and said to Amanda let's check this place out.
As we walk in, I see two guys standing outside.
Hi, I say introducing myself, I'm Jen and this is Amanda.
Hi, he says, I'm Eric.
I take one look at him and think ... HOLY SHIT it's that dude from Not Another Teen Movie ...
I don't say that I recognize him though, but I start laughing explaining to him that we are avoiding this guy who is following us.
He then pipes up very loudly and says, there's a guy following you? RIIGGHHHTTT as the guy was walking by.
Having known the area extremely well, I just say bye and grab Amanda's arm and say I know the back way out of here.
We then went through the parking garage and out the other side of the alley escaping the creeper mcgee.
I then take out my phone and try and figure out what bus we can take now (obviously wanting to avoid the other bus stop we were walking to).
I pull up google maps and realize shit - the only other stop we can get to is back up to right where we came.
I don't say anything to Amanda, but tell her that we have to walk two more blocks up and then we are there.
Her feet are killing her at this point, so my bus adventures aren't exactly winning her over at this point.
We then walk up the few blocks, and sit and wait for the bus which is fortunately just a few minutes away.
As the bus pulls up and we are walking on, this guy stops me and asks if he can sit next to me.
Because my mama hen claws were still out my inner dominatrix kicked in and I said NO! I'm a dominant female. I decide who I sit next to.
I then pay the bus fare for the two of us and we grab a seat towards the back.
The guy then follows us back.
So, does this mean you're into whips and chains?
Without skipping a beat I reply, only if you beg.
Amanda then starts laughing as the guy got off the bus at the next stop.
We were home minutes later safe and sound, but not without Amanda garnering some blisters and me garnering another epic adventure.
Up next, I'm headed to VEGAS BABY!!!!!!!!!!
I am a strong believer in zen and the art of adventure, so I accepted a date this week from a guy in Vegas. He's flying me out tonight, and putting me up in a hotel. Incredibly, incredibly generous of him to help me get my mind off of everything, AND I'll only be gone for about 18 hours. RIGHT when I get off the plane, I have to pop over to a lunch with Antonio, followed by our LIVE STAGE SHOW AT 8PM!!!!! So many adventures, so little time. Rock on everyone!!
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Eric. He is a MAASSTTEERRR social dynamics expert that will be talking about his experiences in the field from both an expert, and experience perspective. He's not just saying "this is how to get the girl" he's here to share his actual life stories and lessons learned from them. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ERIC !!</editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Redolpho
At the end of my last post I talked about how I wasn’t going to wait any longer and that I wanted to start making a difference in the world now. Along came my first response. Let's jump in. Here is what he wrote:
I sent a woman with no photos in an online dating site an intro email. I liked what she wrote in her profile, she was a teacher and didn't want anyone to know about her online dating. She said if she was interested, then she would reply with a picture attachment. Well needless to say, her pictures were of a stunning woman about 6 years younger than me. I am 45 and she is 39.
Here is my question...I feel that she is out of my league lookswise. In an honest assessment of myself, I say I have a 6/7 face with a 9/10 body. Surprisingly I don’t feel intimidated- I feel relaxed because I feel like I already know what this outcome would be. A one time date.
Have you ever gone out with someone you felt was in a higher league than you lookswise and any tips on how to pull an upset at making this work? I know the standard advice of "just be yourself" and "act confident" applies, but was wondering if you had any anecdotal evidence that this is a possibility.
I’d like to first thank this person for writing in with their question. I am so grateful to have this opportunity. For the purpose of this piece I will call this person James.
First it’s important to understand that women care about looks far less than men. I’m not saying they don’t care about how you appear but if you search you’ll find countless examples of beautiful women dating less than beautiful men. There are a lot of reasons for that but they’re not the substance of this post. Below I have given two tips that should make a huge difference.
Focus on conversation topics that aren’t aesthetic centered. What are you passionate about, what do you want out of life and what are you doing to get that? Be animated, ambitious and fucking excited about what you’re doing. If what you’re doing doesn’t excite you then you need to reevaluate how you’re spending the little time that you have. Here are some of my examples:
Lately I have been geeking out into the world of programming and the thought of being able to solve real world problems in the world is thrilling. I’m taking classes from Stanford and Princeton to learn programming fundamentals and algorithms, respectively.
I ride my bike everywhere because I feel it brings me closer to my city. I have been OBSESSED with this album of remixed Radiohead songs. I recently watched a video of a little girl with a beautiful voice captivate an aggravated Simon Cowell on Britains Got Talent and it made me cry she was so enthralling.
I started coaching guys on social dynamics and it has been the most rewarding experience in my life to date.
Be conscious of what your body is saying. If you feel as though you are not worthy of a girl that you’re with then you are probably going tell that in subtle ways. Body language is always a little hard to correct when I’m not looking at someone but here are some tips...
Mind the fidgeting. (Finger fucking pins or silverware, leg twitching, constantly readjusting in your chair etc.)
Lean back and always be equally as comfortable as she is.
Maintain eye contact and smile a lot.
Pre-date, watch a movie with your favorite badass male star in it. Pretend that you are him.
The latest and greatest is up over at GoFobo.com of my review of The Campaign. Screw thematic elements, storylnes, etc - I break down for you in the article if the flick will getcha laid.
Monday, August 13, 2012 at 2:00PM
