Fun with #Facebook: To Friend or Not To Friend?

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Dusty Cooper 

So, I’ve been hanging with this guy who is pretty r-a-d.  Like, totally rad actually.  I would call myself in “likes” with him.  He is super hot and sexy, possibly the best kisser I’ve ever kissed (ever), smart, funny, and like, an actual grown up man.  And he’s younger than me.  A lot younger than me.  Four years to be exact.  Go figure.  I am an admitted reverse cougar i.e. I like OGs also know as old guys… but not that old.  Just like, 5-10 years older than me, though I’ve been known to go even older.  Us brainiacs often do.  But here this guy comes out of nowhere—the musician lad who I referenced in my #nerdbooks collection post as thinking my brain was sexy—and he’s a total freakin rocker hot stud nice guy.  Bam!  Didn’t see that one coming!

This whole thing is in it’s very, very early stages.  I don’t even know if it can be referred to as a “thing.”  But he’s the first guy in a long time who has been one thousand percent the opposite of total douche so I am letting myself have a mild to mildly intense crush on him.  

All of this has a point, I promise.

Last week, he was having phone troubles, so he Facebook messaged me.  We were not Facebook friends, but we have mutual friends so it wouldn’t have been hard to find me.   He was writing to book me up for the coming weekend, and we had this hilarious chain of FB messaging that lasted all week.  #yaycity.  We hung out over the weekend, it was awesome.  Score.

But we still aren’t Facebook friends.  And I don’t think I want to be.  Do I?  I haven’t even really stalked him much on there, other than to see that his profile was public.  But I stopped myself from delving into it.  My profile is definitely not public, so he couldn’t even click through my profile pics.  Dusty likes to keep it on the DL.  I don’t want just anyone creeping me on there!  That’s how you get real stalkers.  And I’m totally paranoid about getting a stalker.  I don’t know why, it’s completely irrational.

But anyway, neither of us has initiated the friend request.  I’m kind of liking it that way though, at least for now.  It’s keeping the mystery for one thing, and I’m all about the mystery.  Also, I have a way of becoming the best of besties with people very quickly, and this translates to my dating life, which translates to disaster.  One second I’m casually dating someone and then before I even know what happened I’m someone’s girlfriend thinking when the F did I agree to that and do I even want it?  And then I flip, and then I run away.  So maybe holding off letting him into my cyberlife will keep the bus going at an appropriate speed rather than warp speed?  And I’m thinking it’s best to stay out of one another’s Facebook lives when we’re not exclusive.  I wouldn’t want to see girls flirting with him on the ‘book.  I don’t care if it goes on at this point, I just don’t want to see it or know about it.  And I wouldn’t want him to see boys flirting with me I don’t think.  The more concrete danger though, is that I have like, one million guy friends.  I know they say that girls and guys can’t be just friends but I wholeheartedly disagree with that.  From my past lives in Austin and Syracuse, I keep in touch with more men than women… I don’t know why, I’ve always been a guy’s girl I guess.  I am one of those rare individuals that build lifelong friendships with men and women.  But knowing that most people don’t agree with my point of view, he could see something one of my boy pals wrote and mistake it for evidence that I was boning that dude, and then get his feelings hurt.   I don’t know… am I missing anything?  Are there any reasons why I’d want to friend him at this point?  Or should I continue to play coy and let him make the move when he’s ready?  That’s what I’ve been doing with him in every respect thus far and it’s working like a charm so perhaps I should stick to that.  What do you think?  When do you guys usually become Facebook friends with people you date?

#help

Want some more? Click here to follow Dusty on Twitter, and check out her blog over yonder!

The Adventures of @DustyCPollyD: The #Nerdbooks Collection

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Dusty Cooper

Hi, my name is Dusty and I have a book problem.  I love books.  I might get an e-reader some day.  Maybe.  But I will never, ever give up my books.  In 2061, I will be the weird old lady buying books at yard sales for 25 cents a pop.  As of today, I own 233 books.  I purchased most of them at library book sales.  Library sales are a book nerd’s wet dream.  You can load up a box full of books for $3.  I’m getting all hot and bothered just thinking about book sale season.  When I moved here from New York, my Jetta was packed to the hilt with boxes of books.  I didn’t even have an air mattress.  Just some clothes and my babies.  When my brother drove out here last summer, he brought me two large storage boxes full of books that I wasn’t able to bring on the first trip.  They each weighed about 70 lbs.  He was on this epic road trip and so space in his car was at a premium.  He knew how much I wanted the rest of my book collection, so he shoved aside his djembe drum to make room for them… and my skis… he’s pretty much the best brother ever… and he’s single… and cuuuute and really tall!  Email me ladies and I’ll set you up!  But only if you’re awesome. 

But I digress. 

Now, if you’ve been following my exploits on Buds & Ham Sammies, you know that my other hobby is studying and interacting with the mens.  I don’t have a particular type of men.  I like lawyers, painters, musicians, athletes… I’m an equal opportunity dater.  All that’s to say is, no matter who they are or how intelligent they are, I have a fool proof way of classifying them in either the “I could repeatedly date you” category or the “I’ll only call ya when I want a romp in the sack” category. 

It’s the books.

It all comes back to the books.  Now, when you have 233 books in your tiny apartment room, they make a statement.  What I’ve found is that different kinds of men react differently to the wall o’ books.  Upon seeing the the #nerdbooks collection for the first time, one alpha male artist dude stopped dead in his tracks and said in an awestruck and almost fearful tone, “Whoa.  There’s a lot of books in here.  Have you read all of these?”  Needless to say, we didn’t last long because it turned out my brain scared the shit out of him.  Another lad who claimed to be into smart chicks outright made fun of my book collection.  Then there was the wicked cool musician who saw my books and was inspired to put his hands in my hair and give me one of the top five hottest kisses of my entire life.  When I asked him what that was for, he said, “your brain is sexy.” 

So there you have it.  The #nerdbooks collection. It’s almost better for my dating life than my dad standing on the porch with a shotgun.

#kthxbye

#Adventures of @DustyCPollyD: Relationship Status - In Love With Social Media!

#TalkNerdyToMeLover’s Polly Dixon

I moved to Los Angeles last year and in all honesty, last year could have been the worst year of my life. It was tough adjusting to life here. I’m a very social person and not being around people makes me depressed. And this town is full of fakes and flakes. People say one thing and do another. People make plans and then cancel or don’t show up. To some extent, it’s the same everywhere but here, it just seemed so much worse. I believe that if it hadn’t been for social media, I would be in a much different place than I am now…and maybe not even in Los Angeles, and certainly not writing for Talk Nerdy To Me, Lover.

In case you were bored and have nothing to do at work. This is a recap of my unimportant life, as told by Social Media.

Messaged Dusty Cooper on Facebook to rekindle our friendship and ask if I could stay on her couch. She said yes! Linked up with my now roommate through Facebook as a friend of a friend to check out if he was a decent human being. We are still roommates. Re-connected with a local boy who I had a fling with before I moved here. Got some lovin! Added every person I met on Facebook as my friend. Got to go to some fabulous parties. Met my next boy toy via Facebook, thanks to friends. We dated for several months. Started a Buds and Ham Sammies Facebook page. Recruited a ton of fans. Became a Focus Rally reality show contestant thanks to my numbers on Twitter and Facebook. Didn’t make it but had tons of fun recruiting friends.  Networked with people for jobs through Facebook. Working on the job thing. Met Jen Friel through Twitter. In love – solid girl crush. Joined Meetup.com and went to some meetups. Have some new fabulous girlfriends. Cute Trainer admitted he couldn’t find me on Facebook. He’s stalking me – It’s true love.  Met a girl at Barneys Beanery through FourSquare. We were sitting next to each other! She lives down the street! We are new besties. Boys. Boys. Boys. I love becoming friends with them on all levels of social media. Cannot go wrong there. Also. If peeps are not involved in social media…I’m usually not interested. Updated my Linked In account. Turns out, my past colleagues have very important contacts out here that are going to be so useful to me.

Um. That is all. For now. How do we even function in today’s society without Social Media?!? My love affair with social media does not end there. I have met some of my bestest, closest friends in town through social media. It’s really just the beginning and I’m so excited.

#happyhumpday

#Adventures of @DustyCPollyD: Finding a J.O.B.

#TalkNerdyToMeLover’s Polly Dixon

Holy Crap. I forgot about the power of LinkedIn.  Truth be told, I’m not the best user of it. In fact, I haven’t paid attention to it in over a year or so. However, I’m in the market for a new job so I spent some time in and around the space yesterday trying to make myself look much more professional than I am. I updated my profile, added some connections, added a professional picture  (no sunglasses, sighhhh)  and BOOM:

**I received a message from a former law school peer saying hello, reconnecting and doing some name-dropping of some big whigs in town! Amazing. I didn’t even ask for it. I just “linked-in” with him.

**I realized that several of my friends have connections to people I am submitting my resume to! Amazing. Now my friends have offered to introduce me to those people.

All good things! And then, on a creepy stalker note – I saw my EX (like hurt me so bad, I am still messed over it almost 2 years later because we were supposed to be married and he left me for my friend, hurt me so bad EX) pop up into “People I May Know” due to our many connections. Of course, curiousity killed the cat: I looked. Come to find out, he lost his job last year (not that I’m gloating because god knows that this economy is awful) and has now relocated from Florida to another city. And that city is Biloxi, Mississippi. I can’t help but congratulate myself on all that I’ve done and all that he has not.

Okay but really, my point of this entry is seriously guys…do the Linked In thing. You have no idea the connections that could be out there and the people you may know that know people you NEED to be introduced to. I’m so excited about my newfound interest in Linked In.

#kthxbye

#Earthquakes: Are you ready?

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Dusty Cooper

If it’s one thing we nerds do well, it’s be prepared.  In college, I would map out my major tests and prepare schedules for studying for those tests before the semester even started.  I would prepare for my preparation. 

So in light of recent world events, I decided to put my preparation skills to good use and get my earthquake kit in order.  I’ve only lived in California for a little less than two years, but being the n-e-r-d that I am, I’ve picked up a fair amount of knowledge of items you should have around in case of a major disaster.  And I am also majorly fascinated by apocalypse type events (hence my dorky love of sci-fi books from the ‘60s) and I have a fair amount of survival skills tucked away in this lil noggin of mine. 

Since many of us are transplants to Los Angeles, I thought I’d share my knowledge with you so you can start your prep.  If you don’t have an earthquake kit, get on it.  If you have one, maybe there’s something below that you don’t have and should add to your supplies. 

My parents sent me approximately 1,000 emails after the earthquake in Japan regarding earthquake safety and survival in the aftermath.  Of all the sites I read, this one was my favorite:

http://www.earthquakecountry.info/roots/contents.html

Straightforward, easy to understand tips and helpful advice for not only preparing an earthquake kit, but also securing things around your home that may be harmful.  For example, I had no idea to check my water heater to make sure it was properly secured to the wall.  Apparently, water heaters tumbling out of their cabinets is a big source of injury and damage in earthquakes.  Luckily, mine is.  A properly secured water heater looks like like this:

Other good tips were:

1.     Keep a pair of sneakers by your bed in case you have to run out quickly and can’t get to your closet or wherever it is you store your kicks. 

2.     Include a dust mask, eye-pro (aka safety glasses), and heavy duty trash sacks in your earthquake kit.  The trash sacks can be used for ponchos or tarps should you need to build a makeshift shelter against the elements.

3.     Have at least one to-go backpack stuffed with a bottle or two of water, a stash of emergency cash, a couple of power bars, and your road atlas.  If you’re like me and you’ve been roadtrippin’ since way before the dawn of the age of GPS, take the old road maps out of your car and put them in your to-go pack.  Then you have it handy if you need to grab it quick and hit the road. 

If the apocalypse does come down 2012 style, the #1 person I’d want around is my dad.  He’s like that Man Vs. Wild guy.  But since he’s all the way in NY, I try to pick his brain on survival skills all the time.  He suggested having a 12-14 foot long rope that is at least an inch in diameter.   This will come in handy if you live on the 2^nd story and the stairs up to your door have collapsed or are blocked.  Then you’re not trapped in an unsafe environment while you wait for the fire department to come rescue you.  If you live higher up, obviously make the rope longer.  Unless you live on like, the 6^th story or up.  Then I do not recommend the rope strategy at all.

And of course, you have to stock your earthquake cupboard.  The website has tips on what to buy: water, canned goods, manual can opener, batteries, flash lights, portable radio, blankets, socks, sweaters, first aid kit, etc.  I got mine started today!

Happy preparing my little nerdlings!

#nerdsunite