#WTF: About the last 24 hours ... can I get a rundown? (brunch w @daveholmes, cussed out by cabbie, knife fight)

So, yesterday was Gay Pride Day here in West Hollywood. It is literally the greatest day ever as Santa Monica blvd is shut down and 400K of your closest new friends come out and play with their self expression and self exploration.

@AmandaEBoyle and I had met up with these British boys over at Saddle the night before, and because they didn't have access to their cells we agreed to meet up at the Hudson at 1pm so we could show them around the parade.

This is one of the dudes, btw ...

Me thinks he's going to like the parade!!

So, we then peaced out of the house and walked down Santa Monica arriving at the Hudson right before the arranged meeting time. Before we walked in though I saw this little girl who got REALLY excited when a drag queen walked by her. Instead of her parents being upset at the little girl's excitement they encouraged her to run up and give her a hug.

It seems like such a small moment, but it absolutely floored me and I almost cried. This little girl has NO IDEA how cool her parents are for being so accepting. My mom and dad taught me growing up to love everyone unconditionally ... ALWAYS. I wasn't allowed to make fun of anyone, and if someone had a disability or was in need in some capacity my parents would reprimand my brother and me if we didn't offer a hand.

I had NOOOOO idea obviously growing up how much that UNCONDITIONAL level of love and acceptance would shape my life - and even my business. Way to go mom and dad for being so awesome!!!

<tangent> To this DAY I cannot wrap my brain around the fact that gays do not have equal rights regarding marriage. Literally ... I can't even speak on it - I'm just so shocked and it is entirely outside of my frame of consciousness. (Besides you know there are SO many producers out there that would love to make Gay Divorce Court, and Groomzilla.) </tangent>

We then kick it at the Hudson and unfortunately don't see our British boys.

::sad panda::

We then agree to just grab a table and enjoy in the wonderful bottomless mimosas.

Dudes, the Hudson is LEGIT on those, btw!! Normally places have like one ounce of champagne and the rest OJ ... WHOOOOIIIEEEEE ... not the Hudson, I was DEFINITELY feeling the bubbles.

A few minutes into us sitting and chatting ... @itsmejoolie was there btw with her new beau who is pretty awesome ...

Nice photobomb btw from the ginger. Watch out, she might be stealing your soul.

Anyway, a few minutes into us sitting there chatting I look over to the table next to me and spot a familiar face. I am an EAGLE eye when it comes to spotting the most RANDOM and OBSCURE people. I can't tell you how many times I've gone up to someone on a reality show and said I know I know you from somewhere ...

::Insert awkward internal monologue::

I know I know this person ... think think think ... have we dated? slept together? maayybbbeeeee

Oh no, they were just on Road Rules.

Whew, that was a close one.

Meanwhile you're still standing in front of the person looking slightly constipated from thinking so hard. You then casually remove yourself from the area as you then avoid that person for the duration of your time at the grocery store.

I knew I knew this guy .... I then whispered into Amanda's ear, is that Dave Holmes from MTV?

She looks over ... replying, I think so.

I then search Dave Holmes on twitter into google and pull up his feed.

He makes mention of being at the Hudson.

I FREAAAKKKKK out saying omg omg omg omg it IS him!! He's an MTV VJ god!

See, Dave was the first runner up back in 1998 on Wanna be a VJ. <tangent> He actually lost out to Jesse Camp who is also from CT and my 8th grade english teacher Mr. Hart had him as a student. I was in 8th grade in 98 and I remember Mr. Hart yelling at us saying Jesse was no one we should look up to and that in class he was a horrible student. </tangent>

VJs in the 90s had the best. jobs. ever. I can't even begin to tell you how many audition tapes I sent into MTV and how baaadddllllllyyyyy I wanted to be a VJ.

Dave always seemed so warm and INCREDIBLY down to earth - he was in my living room EVERY afternoon growing up, I realized I had to say SOMETHING!!!

Instead of me being a normal human being however, I figured that twitter was my best course of action ...

Is this REALLY happening, I thought!

Dave IMMEDIATELY @replied me back, and even started waving. He then took a read at my twitter bio and we struck up a solid conversation about the time Julie and I danced on stage with Prince.

Dave is seriously one of the NICEST people ever. We talked for about 15 minutes, then they enjoyed their meal and left shortly after.

I'm excited though because I not only got a hug, but we are now following each other on twitter - and I offered to help him if he needed any social media advice. (click here to follow Dave)

WINNING!

So that happened.

I then popped back home for a bit to get my schtuff together and head on down to the bus so I could get to this social media meet up in Santa Monica.

I normally never ... ever ... go to those things, but it was with a chickadee that I spoke on an awesome panel with at the WITI summit last week.

She's from NY and was making a pitt stop in LA en route back.

I then had to walk ALLLLLLLLL the way down Santa Monica blvd to pick up the bus at Rexford because of the rescheduled routes because of the parade.

FML, I thought. Rexford is in Beverly Hills, and while it isn't exactly unwalkable (FTR, via my couch surfing days I can physically walk up to 11 miles in a 24 hour period.) it is def not going to be the easiest thing ever.

I then sat for a few minutes still taking in some of the sights from the parade, and as I did so a cabbie stopped next to me and motioned for me to get in.

Front seat, he shouted at me.

I can't tell you HOW many times I've had cabbies stop and ask if they can give me a ride somewhere - I actually just tweeted about that last week. I had yet to take one up on the offer, but I figured in that moment why not! There are 400K of my closest new friends all around, and it's still daylight - how bad can this be?

I then got in the front seat of the cab and he asked me where I was going.

Rexford, just up the street, I said.

Not a problem.

He then turns to me in kind of a skeezy way asking, so, you got boyfriend?

No, I say out of stupidity.

Really Friel, really? Being honest in situations like this is not exactly a good idea - but again I have no filter.

He then placed his hand on my leg as I quickly removed it tensing my body up. 

You gay, he asks?

No - I'm conservative I reply (excluding the partially slutty dress I was rocking of course).

Where are you from, I ask quickly changing the conversation.

Russia and Armenia.

Wow, that's quite the combo I say.

I then notice a tattoo on his left wrist.

What does your tatt say, I ask?

H.P. It is for my first love, he says with his thick accent.

Ah - how funny! I have love tattooed on my wrist!

I then show him my right wrist and he smiles.

Moments later I arrived at Rexford.

Thanks for the lift, I say getting out of the cab.

I want number, he says. I'd like to take you to Sunset and Crescent Heights for sushi.

My brain then scans the plaza there, and I realize he is talking about Sushi Dan.

Sushi Dan? You mean?

Yeah, he says.

FTR, saying "I want to take you to Sushi Dan" is like saying to a chick anywhere else in America, "I'd like to take you to Chilis for a nice dinner."

It made me laugh actually because it was so random and so ... not a date place ... but I then gave him my actual number to which he immediately calls.

I HATE IT WHEN GUYS DO THAT!!!!

He then said, I drive you to airport anytime - no charge.

Really, I thought, considering all of the traveling I do ... THAT is something I can use.

I then smile and shake his hand saying, deal!

I laugh as I got out of the cab thinking well, at least he didn't try to kill me. My curiosity has now been appeased and I have no plan on taking any more unsolicited taxi cab rides.

I then took the bus down to Santa Monica, and as I got off at third street promenade I looked up and spotted yet ANOTHER familiar face.

Holy shit, I thought, that's @helslevy!!!

I scream her name (I'm not at all subtle with friends) and she looks up and smiles.

JEN!!!!

We then kick it for a bit as we talk about life, love, and all things social media.

I then realized I was pretty late for my event so we embraced and I walked the final half mile to Casa Del Mar.

The meet up was pretty cool all around. Again, I hate hate hate going to those things normally because people pitch you on projects and it all comes out as nails on chalkboard to me. I'm GENUINELY never mad at it, people have to follow their passions, but I can't tell you how many times I hear - "but what is the return on twitter, really?" It's like COMMMEEEEE ONNNNNNNN people you can't think of it that way - twitter is a utility, like the telephone!!!!! One person can use it one way and have absolute success with it, but it's NOT cookie cutter and there are a TON of variables when it comes to the desired level of engagement and communication brands/ platforms/ people should use.

It miffs my muffin and I'm too passionate to not get REALLY heated at parties. One woman admitted to using bots and I screamed NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO you're doing twitter wrongggggggggg!!!

Ugh, fail.

I'm even right now turning a little red typing this out. I understand people don't "get it" but those that do REALLY do and THOSE are the people I want to kick it with.

As always though, I was grateful for the debates and inspired by learning from people that I normally don't get to kick it with.

My buddy then walked me back to my bus stop and sometime around midnight I called it a night.

I sat at the bus stop and flipped on my iTunes, and the first song that came up was this ...

I placed my hoodie on and over my head to get a bit more "on the DL."

I started lip syncing the words at the bus stop and I then realized how white I am. There is nothing in this song I can relate to. The hoods of what, West Hartford Connecticut?? Could I BE more of a cracker?

Whatever, I thought - this is gangster, it's midnight, you're sitting alone at a bus stop in Santa Monica.

I then feel a tap on my shoulder, I turn around.

Hi, says a guy on a bike.

Where are you going?

Home, I reply.

No, you're too pretty to go home alone.

HA! I said, you have no idea what you're getting yourself into with that comment. (read this post dedicated to all future beaus)

He then lifts up his shirt and shows me a 1" wound on his forearm.

The beat of the song still playing on my partially misplaced headphones, I can hear the bumping of "minute after minute, hour after hour" as he says, I got stabbed tonight.

Wait, WHAT, I say???

Yeah, a homeless guy just came up and stabbed me. It's looking better now, he said casually.

Dude, you have to go to the hospital.

I'll live, he said.

Dude, no, seriously, you have to get a shot to make sure it doesn't get infected.

See, when I got hit in the head with the brick I had three shots. Two were numbing agents for when I had to get the staples and the third was a tetnus shot to make sure the wound wouldn't get infected.

While this guy's arm was definitely starting to clot and heal, it was still obviously very fresh and depending on what he got stabbed with could get a MASSIVE infection.

GO. TO. THE. HOSPITAL. I say sternly.

I'm fine, he said as he began pedaling. I wouldn't mind though if you wanted to take me.

Hahaha, hell no, I thought - but nice try.

The bus then rounded the corner and as I got on my phone started ringing.

It was the cabbie.

Ah, fuck, I thought. I don't want to deal with this right now.

I let it go to voicemail.

Seconds later, he calls back.

and again ...

and again ...

and again ...

I then notice that he called earlier in the evening too - but I obviously didn't hear because I was at the event.

I look down and also see I have a text from him.

He's a very digital motherfucker, I thought.

I open up the text message which he sent at 9:41 ...

I'm pretty sure he meant to type Fuck. You. It's kinda funny though how he delivered it, I can hear his Russian/ Armenian accent clear as day ... haha this guy is so pissed we're not going to Sushi Dan's. 

Well done, Friel.

My phone continued to ring for the entire bus ride back - and again, I let it all go to voicemail.

I then safely got back home and passed out.

So, that was my Sunday. How was yours?

#thatisall

#WTF: About this weekend ... can I get a rundown? (date via twitter & fence hopping)

Song that goes with this post: 

OOOOHHHH what a weekend. First up, lemme address the latest and greatest with the ongoing saga of Romeo. 

I texted him on Friday asking to kick it, and he unfortunately had to work all weekend. See, he works in TV and his hours are all over the place all the time. Totes get it, genuinely wasn't mad at it - but this week we have to have a chat. 

He came back into my life on April 18th, and I'm still as unsure what everything means. So, my first love and best friend of 8 years is back in  my life, and I have no idea what I am supposed to do about it. I've obviously been playing everything RIDICULOUSLY cool - but this is bullshit. He knows it, and I know it. We love each other so much it's absurd and our story is the most insane thing ever. 

I have not been able to stop thinking about him for less than 5 seconds since April 18th. THERE ARE 86,400 SECONDS IN A DAY!!! That's 17, 280 SECONDS OF MY DAY DEVOTED TO HIM!! 

I DO NOT GIVE THAT MUCH BRAIN POWER TO ANYONE ... EVER!!!

So, it's total bullshit and now I'm genuinely just pissed. It's shit or get off the pot time with him. We don't have to "officially" date right away (we're actually not even Facebook friends, so it will def not be Facebook official), but I DO need a commitment from him in some capacity that that is what we are working towards. 

YOU CANT DO THIS TO A PERSON!!! It's horrible!! He waited TWO MONTHS to contact me after his break up and then when he texts me he is AT THE BAR ACROSS THE STREET FROM MY HOUSE? I mean how nuts is this entire story. (If it ends well, I'm going to turn it into my first screenplay. If it doesn't end well I may type it all out anyway and then slowly suffocate myself with the pages.)

I just have to grab everything by the balls though and say - if we're going to do this, great! If not - I'm 27, I run my own business, and I have spent 8 months doing self work with a modern day shaman after conducting a social experiment on the organic root of attraction. I FUCKING KNOW WHAT I WANT and I'm done done doner than done with casually dating. (It's also too a series of next doable actions. I want kids one day, so to have kids I want to be married, and to get married I have to be in a serious and committed relationship. To get into a serious and committed relationship I had to do all the self work I'm doing first. Get it?)

That is one thing that I have recently gone over with the shaman, and I can't begin to tell you how mind altering it is:

You. Have. To. Speak. Your. Personal. Truth. 100% OF. THE. TIME.

It's really hard to wrap your brain around based on the domestication that is placed on us from the womb. (Be polite to others, say your pleases and thank yous) I'm not saying we should all go around being butthole surfers to each other, (I still heart Pepper long time) but be deliberate with your words and SAY WHAT YOU FEEL!!! 

So hard to do. So freaking hard - but every step down the path of personal truth is a step in the right direction. 

Romeo is on my path of my personal truth. I would absolutely absolutely absolutely marry him tomorrow if he asked. Not being with him 2.5 years ago is LITERALLY my only regret in life, and I knew at 19 in OUR VERY FIRST KISS that bam - this was it. 

Saying all of this to him though is going to be one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do. I actually just considered sending him a Facebook message on it, but I know I need to just lay it all on the table for him in person. I just might be sobbing the entire time as I do so. 

UGH! I can't begin to tell you how much that makes me want to vomit. I can't believe I am going to be that emotionally vulnerable in front of anyone. BAHAAHHHHHHHH

We'll see where it all goes, but in the meantime, I took my own dating advice and said - what do you do when you're head over heels for a dude and still not in a committed relationship? You keep dating other people!! 

Super. Super. Super. important - and although I can't scientifically prove it, literally EVERYONE that I have given that advice to have not only loved it, but gotten their duderino or duderina to come around faster. We're obviously all energy beings, and the second you feel that person's energy suddenly disappearing it can make people react faster. It's like woah woah woah! Where'd they go? 

The person will then call or text you and wham bam thank you ma'am! You are good to go. 

So, laaasssttt week - yeah, I was watching my favorite show EVER on National Geographic, and I noticed that there was a live tweeting component. W2G @natgeo, I thought ... but then as I watched this dude's story I was COMPLETELY blown away. This motherfucker was locked up in a jail in Pakistan for almost 3 years. He was beaten numerous times to literally a bloody pulp and that fucker fought back like you wouldn't BEELLIIEEVVEEE!! Badass with a capital B.A.D and I had to at least give him a holla. 

I wasn't watching it live since I DVR everything, but I just googled his name and "twitter" - and just like that, there he was. I then sent him a tweet saying his story was incredible. I had no idea if he was going to write back, but I have RIDICULOUS respect for people like that. 

To my surprise a few hours later he @replies me back and throws in a "you're gorgeous." Oh la la, I thought. Flirting in 140 characters is pretty darn sexy! 

We then started DMing and swapped digits. Then on this Friday I texted him asking to kick it, and just like that a few hours later we were grabbing beers in WeHo. 

I don't want to say anything about the date (since I can't document dating in real time), but I'd LOVE to kick it with this guy again. There was something so visceral that he provoked in me. It's like at any given moment the shit could LITERALLY hit the fan (earthquake, zombie apocalypse, person next to me spontaneously combusting) and this guy could protect me. 

That is ahhhhh-mazing and a total panty dropper. 

I will say though, we wound up only staying in WeHo for a hot minute because he then took me for a ride on his Harley.

There is nothing more insane btw than meeting someone you've met on twitter because you saw them on TV and then hours later being strapped as bitch on the back of their bike. 

It was great, I had a helmet - and I enjoyed myself. YAY FOR NEW LIFE EXPERIENCE!! 

So yeah, outside of that, there is no review of him on Mirror.net - nada. Just genuine human to human connection that I can't document in real time. 

Then on Saturday, I had made plans with the duderino that I connected with via him dialing the wrong number and he wanted to head up to the hills to see the Super Moon.  

  The moon last night was 14% bigger and 30% brighter than all other moons we will see this year. Pretty darn cool!  

He then picks me up in his big ol' pick up truck (chicks dig trucks) and we headed over to Runyon Canyon to gaze at the sky. 

Is Runyon going to be open for the gazing, I asked?

What do you mean, he replied. 

Runyon closes from dusk til dawn, I say. 

OOHHH does it? Well, we might have to hop a fence. 

I laugh as I say, not a problem, but let's go up the Mulholland route so we're at least closer to the top and they might leave that gate open for the star gazing. 

We then get to the peak, and fortunately the gate was open. 

WINNING! 

We then walk up to the very very very top of Runyon and have literally the most breathtaking view of Los Angeles and of the GOORRGEEOOOUUSSS moon.

Here is an unfiltered photo: 

We then sat on wooden benches and he pulled out a cooler stocked with wine, cheese, and crackers. 

I hope you like pinot grigio, he said. 

UMMMM, kind of my favorite wine, I reply thinking well done! 

We then kicked it in a super romantic way. Again, not going to talk about it ... but FTR dudes, Bristol Farms has the most AH-MAZING chocolate covered strawberries ever!! So fresh and SO FREAKING YUMMY!!! 

About an hour later we started hearing coyotes. 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO cooed the wild beasts. 

Holy shit, I said. That last one was close! 

We better get going, replied my date. 

I then realize we are both unarmed and should an animal actually come at us, we're kinda fucked. 

I then motion for him to hand me the bottle opener which has a small but sharp knife attached to it. 

He grabs the spatula which had a sharp edge used for cutting the cheese. 

You take that, I'll take this, he said. 

And just like that ... my date and I walked down the mountain armed with a spatula cheese thingie and a bottle opener guided by the light of the flashlight app on my iPhone. 

We make it all the way down, safe and sound, but when we get back to the parking lot we quickly realize that they've locked up for the night. 

NOOOOOO!!! I thought. We're ACTUALLY going to have to hop the fence now. 

And FTR this shit was MASSIVE ... 

I've joked 100 times on this site that I rock Vans and Converse because I normally have to climb fences, but even for me - this one was big. ::thatswhatshesaid:: 

My date is a semi-pro climber having climbed mountains before, so he instinctively surveys the grounds and finds a relatively safe spot for us to jump.

I'll go first he said, then you drop me the stuff, and I'll help you over.

Like Spiderman he SSCCALLLESSSS that bad boy in 2 seconds hopping down like it was nothing.

I on the other hand climb up on this super shaky crate and quickly realize at this point I have had 2 glasses of wine. 2 glasses of wine + 1 slightly buzzed Jen Jen + fence hopping = disaster 

I started shaking as my fear of heights also kicked in. 

Don't fall.

Don't fall. 

Don't fall. 

My date was great, he guided me literally step my step as I lowered myself down and then onto the ground. 

We then hug to a job well done and no broken bones. 

YAY ADVENTURE AND YAY LIFE!! 

THHHEENNNNN at that point it was still pretty early, so we headed back over to Hollywood and kicked it at one of my favorite bars with the best craft beer EVER. 

The place was pretty packed at that point, so we scooched into this booth with a big birthday party happening.

Two seconds into sitting down they all start taking pictures. My date proceeds to photo bomb them.

AHH-MAZING! 

We then kicked it for a bit, and then went upstairs to play Street Fighter. 

AHHHHH I kick so. much. ASS at old school Street Fighter. I get super into it too, and yeah, that shit is my jam. 

He beat me the first round, however, I quickly dusted myself off and pwned the motherfucker. 

When we were done playing, we were about to walk downstairs when I can't describe it - but I instinctively looked over to this back area and saw mine and Noah's old roommate! 

WHHHAAATTT I thought, not having seen this guy in a few years. 

I then start screaming his name, and he looks up. 

I RUNNNNNNN over to him and give him a hug as he introduces me to his fiancé. Mazel tov all around, I say congratulating the happy couple. 

What are you guys doing here, I ask? 

Oh, we're here for a friend's birthday party, replied the old roommate. 

Wait, is your friend the one in the red sweater? 

Yeah.

HAHA this is HILARIOUS!! My date was totally just photo bombing their pictures!! 

.... and this ladies and gentlemen just became the smallest world ever.

WTF are the odds that you'd randomly photo bomb the people next to you and come to find out the people there were friends with your old roommate. 

WEIRD!! But this shit happens to me ALL. THE. TIME. 

We then laugh it off as my date and I head back to my place. 

He dropped me off at the door .... and I shall say no more. 

It was super sweet and hands down one of the most romantic dates I've ever been on. 

As I was writing this I texted him a thank you and here's his response ... 

He's pretty much the most adorable human being ever. 

So, this is my reality. I'm SO FREAKING PROUD OF MYSELF for doing so much inner work to now attract more awesomeness, but I'm scared out of my fucking mind with Romeo. I just want to get our conversation over with. I need to articulate my truth, and if we're meant to be together great, but if not this weekend was indicative enough that I am DEFINITELY on a great track to meeting a great guy. 

AHHHH fuck, it's just all so scary. 

Wish me luck. 

#kthxbye

#WTF: About this weekend ... Can I get a rundown? (@BrodyJenner, airport rendez-vous, #oscars)

Oh nerderinos, what a weekend. 

First up, lemme get a song that goes with the post. 

I just COMPLETELY ate shit running down Sunset ...

So this seems appropriate ...

 Alrite, Friday night I was crushing hardcore to get some writing did. See, our stage show is this Friday at 9:30 ::cough cough shameless plug click here to buy tickets:: and I still had to organize all of the OKC emails, and write witty responses to them. 

I haven't been going to The Berrics that much as of late (due to still being kinda spooked walking around cause of the whole brick to my head thing), so it's been a pretty big pain in the ass working from home again and then having to FORCE those creative bubbles to percolate. All of the writing that I do is pretty all over the place, and it somehow manages to work because I'm all over the place. Having structure, such as a live show, is rad - but I have to have to have to set myself up in the right environment to be able to write and pump that shit out.

I spent the afternoon googling various laptop friendly bars in LA, as I prefer to write while drinking beer (since the hops help me focus). To my great disappointment I couldn't find any that I jived with - so I decided to just head to Barneys Beanery, grab a table and set myself up. This is prolly the least laptop friendly bar in all of LA, but it's one of my favs and by at least sitting in a booth by myself I'd be safe from anyone else's beer hitting my macbook pro.

I got myself settled, and then texted a friend of mine to see if he wanted to join me. He's a SUPER big deal online, and also a crazy awesome, and successful TV writer. He was actually one of my idols writing wise, and when I finally connected to him, and he read the site (and told me what I was doing was super cool) - it set me off. I fucking FLIPPED. MY. SHIT. and really threw things into overdrive.

I haven't talked to him in a bit, but also was looking for help with the script in throwing in a few zingers. The emails are 100% real and 100% from OKCupid, but my lines, and my responses to them - I wanted to be taken up another notch this go round. 

I had texted him a few times, and he told me to meet him at this other bar up the street (not barneys) ... but I had already gotten settled and gotten into my groove and wasn't wanting to budge. 

I was definitely being a brat since he was offering help, but it's also genuinely a pain in the ass to get your stuff packed up after you've ordered some grub, beer, have your laptop out, and are already into the writing groove.

So, after a few back and forths we stopped texting and I got back to work and PUMMMPPPPEEEDDDD out that script. Holy hell!! It took for freaking ever, but I've never been more proud of anything. For reals, man - I have to go through literally HUNDREDS of OKC emails, pick out which ones will work based on the actors that we have, what ones will go best with what responses ... having a live show is not an easy thing - that is for SURE! It's totally a labor of love. 

Then, after only dropping $11 on two beers and chicken tenders (thank you happy hour), I left a tip for the server closing out at the table and walked up to the bar. 

I put my laptop away, and fortunately had it stored in a cute enough bag to be able to actually stay out for the rest of the evening and not look like the stuffy girl that brought her laptop to a bar. 

I walked up sitting at the only available stool in the bar ordering another allagash, and copped a squat pretending to watch whatever game was on. 

<tangent> I'm 100% over my social anxiety now of being at bars, and very honestly just don't give a fuck anymore. I've cracked my shell, gotten over the "omg everyone is staring at me" mentality and now can sit at a bar by myself with total ease. (w2g for progress!) </tangent>

A few minutes into sitting at the bar, I started to hear some really funny overheards from the dude two stools down. 

His first one referenced Mr. Miyagi - and ANYTIME someone mentions The Karate Kid my interest will immediately peak as I prepare in silence going over the steps for The Crane. 

WAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! 

He then kept talking and talking, and the guy was seriously effed up. I then turned my head over enough to fully see who it was and I started freaking out. 

OMG OMG OMG ... I thought ... I freaking KNOW this guy. He's a super famous comedian!! Like has been in movies, all over Comedy Central ... what the FUCK is his name?!?! 

I then start tweeting out my findings, and all of the epic overheards from him. 

I really didn't know how to handle everything that I was hearing - hahahahaha but I laughed to myself and just kept tweeting away. 

Then, a few moments later - the guy who was sitting immediately to my right got up, and another guy sat down next to him. 

He made very direct eye contact with me as he sat down and smiled. 

Oh hello, I thought thinking he was kinda cute ... this is going to be fun. 

Then I turn and see he had another friend with him (cuteness times TWO!). 

I stare at his friend for a moment and quickly realize ... HOLY SHIT! That's freaking Brody Jenner. 

He was wearing a hat, but he has such commercially attractive features that it was INCREDIBLY obvious who he was. 

He then struck up a conversation with the comedian. I wasn't sure if they were there together but clearly they knew each other. 

I then get a text - it is from my super big deal online/ writer friend.

He asks, is XXX there?? 

???? I write back, not knowing whatever nickname he was using. 

He then wrote me back with the dude's full name, I popped on google, and BOOM! He guessed exactly who it was!! 

WTH, I texted back? What a crazy small world!! 

Yah, he texts back. I just sent him a text. 

The comedian then got a notification on his phone, and looks up - directly at me and screams ... I'M NOT JIM CARREY!! OR CARROT TOP'S FATHER. 

I start laughing ... of freaking COURSE the friend that I texted earlier in the evening WOULD see my tweets and know the name of the random comedian that I didn't know the name of sitting two stools over next to me at the bar. 

LA is the SMALLEST big town ever. Everyone knows everyone, and we travel in circles. It totes makes sense that they'd be friends ... but I didn't know. 

<tangent> I didn't want to tweet out the name of the dude, nor even post it here. That's his thing, apparently he goes there a lot, and it's not my style to call out shiznat like that. Brody Jenner I will fucking call out. This dude, no way. Respect. </tangent> 

So, that happened. 

Then, earlier in the day I had gotten a call from my mom saying she was in Maryland (to meet with some peeps) and at the airport met these cute guys and told them all about TNTML. 

Shameless promotion runs in my family, clearly. These dudes were heading to LA, so my mom told them that they should hit me up on twitter. 

They did ...

... and a few hours later they met me at Barneys where we all grabbed a beer. 

Really, really, really great guys. One of them is a pretty popular DJ in Maryland, and I'm actually listening to his stuff now and I'm not mad at it. 

So, that happened too. They were both super cute but hella young. We closed down Barneys and then I peaced in the middle east back home happy though that I had the script locked and loaded ... so, mission accomplished. 

THEEENNNNN ... on Saturday, I got one of the greatest things ever. Nerds, meet my soul mate ... 

He doesn't have a name yet, but something along the lines of Captain McAwesome Pants seems to work. 

For as digital as I am, when it comes to formulating ideas and organizing my schedule - I will always. always. always. be pen to paper. 

I normally have a planner, production notebook, and then folders to organize my projects ... but this bad boy is all that in one and will cost you less than $15. 

It's like, hello Heaven? Did you lose an angel? 

It's FREAKING PERFECT giving me oodles of room to write all my shiznat out, and keep me organized. Running a business isn't easy, but you HAVE TOOOOOOOO have a structured way of scheduling otherwise you end up double booking, and frankly just losing your shit. Keep cool, stay on track, keep it together. 

This blessed little piece of awesome is going to do that for me. 

YAY LIFE!!! 

Then on Sunday, I did a short film with my buddy @jburst where I starred as a Zooey Deschanel doppelganger. I don't want to talk about it until it is finished, but it is HILARIOUS. Josh is a great writer. 

All of the filming was fine and dandy, but when I was on my way to set on Sunday, I was walking down the street and kept noticing all of these people looking at me. 

Now, people normally look at me because the whole jet black hair thing with freckles is gnarly to a lot of people ... but this was that times 1,000. I wondered if it was because I had done my makeup like Zooey if maybe people thought I was her. (Since I genuinely get ALL the time her, and Katy Perry.) 

I laughed to myself thinking, good job Friel, you must look like her if people are staring this much!

Then, after about a half mile walk, I got to the bus stop and as I was running to catch the bus two guys stop me. 

Excuse me, miss - but your skirt is up in the back. 

YEP! People weren't staring at me because I looked like Zooey ... oh no, it was because my fucking ass was on full display. 

At least at that point I knew my day could only go up from there, and I was genuinely incredibly grateful for those dudes for stopping me. 

Hilarious, but good karma because I know if I saw someone in that same situation I would have done the same thing. 

So, there you go! That was my weekend in a nutshell. I am now hanging out near Hollywood and Highland after picking up my super duper fancy pants Oscars Red Carpet badge. 

Apparently I'm not allowed to take a picture of the whole thing ... but you can see part of it ... 

It's pretty fancy pants. I have this thing for the week, and then the night of the show I'll be over on the red carpet at the Night of 100 Stars Party covering it for my buddy Zennie and his blog, followed by going to the after party for The Artist. 

I'm stoked because if they actually win the champagne will be flowing EXXTTTTRAAAA nicely, which is great because my flight to NYC on Monday isn't until the afternoon - so I totes have the morning to recover. ::mwahaha:: 

Anywho, the pass allows me all over the red carpet area. Here's what's going on today behind the scenes ... 

Not much yet, but that will change VERY soon!!

Also hilarious that as I was walking into the gated off area today, I saw my #140 conference buddy Karlos. City of 8 million - can't go anywhere without bumping into peeps. 

Yay life!

I'm also super stoked because my parents are coming out from Florida for this Friday's live show, so I'm also going to get them into some cool Oscar shiznat. So freaking grateful for this opportunity! BAH! 

Good stuff all around, nerds. Hope everyone else had a freaking awesome weekend, and keep on keeping on!! 

#love

#WTF: About this weekend ... Can I get a rundown? (Featured on @TheChive, live show, attack aftermath)

A hoi hoi sexy lover faces. 

From the depths of my everything, I can't thank you all enough for all of the emails, comments, tweets, and posts. I am very honestly a bit overwhelmed by it all actually - I can feel the love. I CAN FEEL IT!!! 

I'm cool, I've got too much shit left on my to-do list to let something like this get me down. It is gnarly though feeling the staples in my head. I've been crying a lot, which I guess is normal. Even if it's not, I'm still owning it. 

Hold on, lemme get a song to go with this post ... 

HAHA fuck yeah! My brain feels like stew, this is perfection. 

So, getting a concussion is like the worst thing ever. Being a nerd I am HYPER aware of my noggin and how I process things - my memory right now is COMPLETE shit, and storing names (which I'm already bad at to begin with) is just not happening. 

I meet a lot of people everyday, and right now it's all just ... mush. 

It fucking SUCKS and there's not much more I can do about it but apologize to everyone that I meet saying I have a brain injury, and I am very sorry if I start repeating myself, start repeating myself. 

So yeah, the attack happened on Thursday night (read more about it here). Friday morning I woke up with literally the worst headache I have ever had. 

I just kept thinking over and over though that nothing was going to stop the live show from going down. As long as I was PHYSICALLY still breathing, I could work with anything and make this show happen. 

I listened to Chumbawumba LITERALLY all day on repeat on spotify to keep me going. 

Sure, you got knocked down Jen, but you got your ass back up again - and ain't NOOTTHINNNNN ever gonna keep you down. 

The attacker took my night at the comic book shop, and also cracked my Star Wars tumbler but he was NOT going to take our live show!!! 

As I was laying in bed getting all of the work done on this loverly site, I saw someone post on my Facebook wall that I was featured on the chive. 

I'm not sure how often The Chive does this, but they featured me in the top 80 Chivettes. I placed number 27 which wasn't bad considering my competition consistently mostly of TnA pics.

Click here to view for yourself

I posted the link on Facebook, and my mom clicked it and said oh dear god, thank you for wearing clothing in your picture. I laughed, oh mom - I didn't even submit that pic, but if I was going to submit in a TnA contest I'd show them some of the goods ... they're just boobs and butt. Might as well flaunt it while I got it. HUZZAH!! 

But placing 27 while looking like a nun did warm my soul, so many many many thanks to whoever submitted my photo. I am honored. 

THENNNNNNNNNN ... 

@MyMelodie was coming up from San Diego for the live show (which was Friday night), so she was crashing on our couch. When she got into town I asked her if she wouldn't mind stopping at CVS so I could get some alleve. 

They put staples in my head, but didn't give me any sort of pain killers. Not that I prolly would have taken them anyway, but I'm not gonna lie, my head was throbbing something FIERCE!!! 

The good part about the pain though (as if there ever is a good part about being in pain) was that it was constant. The throbbing was at a level 6 on a scale of 1-10 and stayed that way throughout the entire day. Because I meditate I'm HELLA good at rising above physical pain like this and am able to still function very genuinely forgetting about the pain I am experiencing. You welcome the pain into your experience and explore it. It's kinda weird, but genuinely works. 

Melodie had texted me that she was a few minutes away so I went downstairs to wait for her. 

Standing outside in BROAD daylight however, made me incredibly scared. I kept thinking someone was going to come up from behind me and fuck me up again. 

Here comes the PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) I thought. That is no bueno, and not allowed in my experience. 

I filed away the fact that I was going to have to deal with it, but at least did make it out to the store, and to the live show. 

Dudes, we fucking KILLLEEEEEDDD it!!! 

The house was packed, we were not too far off from selling out which for our first show ever WARMED MY FREAKING SOUL!!! 

The after party at Barneys was equally insane, and I was just so incredibly honored and humbled by everyone there. Way to be the best community on the PLAANNEETTTT!!! For reals, so much love, so much respect, so much nerdiness!!! Makes me all warm and fuzzy on the inside. 

Saturday, I slept. Literally, all day. 

I didn't get up until around 5 in the afternoon, and then I decided to start writing about the attack. I wasn't sure emotionally where I was, but I figured at least starting to write about it was going to make me feel better. 

Yeah, no - I couldn't stop crying. 

I was a fucking blubbery mess. It was just so confusing. I was walking down the street, and then BAMMMM I felt my brain hit my skull. If anyone has ever had a concussion you know what it's like, dudes, it's the scariest thing ever to lose control over your brain functioning. It took me a little bit to be even able to SPEAK let alone move. I'm grateful I wasn't stabbed (Like the WeHo Daily was reporting), but either way, it was just the scariest thing ever and writing about it was putting salt on an open wound. 

I got halfway through the post and said fuck. this. shit. I am not going to be scared to go outside again, and to walk alone ... I am going to go BACK to Sunset, by myself, and manifest an adventure to get over the fear. 

Nothing like some good exposure therapy to negate PTSD. 

You have two options in life when something like this happens ... you can be the victim or the victor. I lead a very public life, and I'm always putzing around by myself. I did nothing wrong in this scenario, and this was a freak freak freak attack. I am human however, and understanding that things take time is one thing, however I know me too well and I know if I didn't just get right back up on the horse, I might not ever want to walk alone again. 

I wanted to go to a place I knew that was on Sunset and that I felt comfortable going to ... what better place to go on a Saturday night then the Saddle Ranch!!!

It's cheesy, it's touristey, but I didn't care. I've been going there for almost 8 years and a seat at the bar had my name on it.

Within SECONDS dudes started approaching me. HAHA that shit was rad, man. The Saddle Ranch is such a freaking meat market that dudes have no shame, and as a female this was just what I needed to get back on my feet.

These two dudes at first came up to me, they were from Ventura. Really sweet guys, I explained to them twitter and even tweeted the duderino explaining to him the value of the 140 character platform.

He got it, got a little excited, and even started following me.

Spank you very much.

His friend then turned to me and asked me to feel his shirt. What kind of material is this? he asked 

My response: Cotton

His response: Boyfriend material

I laughed thinking I was genuinely going to say that it was a cotton/poly blend. I am SO FREAKING GULLIBLE when it comes to that shit. You could say to me that gullible rhymes with orange and I would totes start thinking about it. I have no reason not to believe someone who randomly says something like that to me. Of COURSE when it comes to business, I think everyone is guilty until they are proven innocent, but in my personal life - I take it all like a grain of salt. 

The guys then asked me why I was by myself. 

I explained to them that I was conducting exposure therapy in an attempt to get over the attack that happened to me on Thursday night.

The dude then got REALLY angry and said, wait, someone hit you?

Yeah, pretty badly too. Wanna see the staples??

And boom - just like that, I had free drinks for the rest of the night.

This is GREAT I thought!!! I am milking this shit!!!!

A few more dudes came and went, great conversations were had, I mostly pimped out the site since everyone that came up to me asked what I did and used that opportunity to hand them a card and tell them to check us out. 

Then, one of the bartenders came up and asked if I was on an OKC date.

I looked at him a bit surprised, and he goes you're Jen Friel!

I was completely floored as I don't get recognized very often - I also honestly wasn't sure if I actually knew this guy and with the brain injury if I was just off my rocker.

He laughs and said no we didn't know each other but he reads the site and hopes I was feeling better. 

Fuck yeah! I thought! This is turning out to be a great night!! I'm super popular at the bar making new friends, I'm drinking for free, ANNNNDDDD the super cute bartender just came up to me to tell me that he reads the site. 

Really? Really? Could this night BE any better? 

I then gathered all of my stuff, and at closing time left the bar. I braced myself for the walk down Sunset, but that shit was easy peasy. No one messed with me, no ... nothing. I was back to my usual self safe from all the crazies. 

I then slept in super late on Sunday, and then sent a message to the bartender on OKC asking him out. 

Look at that, by putting on my big girl pants, I picked myself back up and even ended up with a date out of the whole thing.

Oh life, you certainly do know how to take lemons and make lemonade, don't you!

Sigh. I heart thee.

As far as the attack goes, I just called the Hollywood Vice office. We'll see where it goes from here. Once I get the dudes name, I'm going to post it. I'm going to check with my lawyers, but I'm 99% certain I am within my right to do so. So, if anyone happens to bump into this mothafucka feel free to give him a love tap for me. And when I say love tap I mean not. 

Chive on!!!! 

#thatisall 

#WTF: About this weekend...Can I get a rundown? (Chad Michael Murray, Hal Sparks, & Social Media w The Pack)

Oh dear god I can't believe our live show is premiering this Friday!! Big deal. HUGE deal! Total dream come true for me. There's just so much going on ... but hold up, I'm getting ahead of myself. Lemme break it all down for you. Here's the song that goes with the post ... 

On Friday, I had an appointment with the Modern Day Shaman, aka @realityadjacent. REALLY great guy, I totally had a breakthrough in our session as he cracked me open energetically and I felt for the first time an extreme sense of shame. 

The shaman didn't put that word in my mouth either - he just told me that I was blocking something since I energetically was turning so cold. (You can't hide from a shaman kiddies!) I told him that I very genuinely didn't know, and he took a minute and replied with - I think you need to make amends to someone. The SECOND the words escaped his mouth I knew what he was talking about, and I cried from. my. soul. 

I was barely even able to get words out, but what did escape was ... 

so. so. so. cruel. 

so. cruel. who does that to a child? 

He then put his hand on my back healing some of the pain, and after I calmed down I thanked him, got back on my bike and rode into Hollywood. 

Now normally, my bike ride back to Hollywood is one that is filled with joy and glee - but this one freaking sucked. I couldn't stop crying!!!!!!! 

I was a blubbery mess, emotion still escaping from my soul. 

BBBAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I screamed/cried riding through the streets. 

Cousin It is not a pretty look for me, btw. 

Nor is it exactly a safe look. 

As I rode back into Hollywood I was crossing over this street outside of a Starbucks, and BAAMMMM who walks RIGHT in front of my bike as I slam on my brakes not to hit him? 

None other than Chad Michael Murray and what I'm assuming was his girlfriend ... 

See, I live in a pretty popular part of town. This place CRRAAWWLLLLSSS with celebs (remember the time I went to 711 and saw a supermodel? This is totes an every day thing) 

I laughed thanking god it wasn't Giovanni Ribisi. He is totally my socially awkward penguin!! Not once but TWICE I've seen that guy looking like a hot mess. OOHHHH Giovanni!!! So mean!! 

I'm INCREDIBLY committed to bettering myself this year. Yes, I've uncovered after 103 dates in 9 months that I am emotionally unavailable, but what does that mean? And how can I change things? 

Working with the shaman, and my dating coach @datingcoachb have certainly been helping - but it isn't easy. I've been blocking these emotions for most of my life, so to actually sit and address them is ... the hardest thing I have done in a while. 

I'm excited about it, but man oh man - it's not easy. 

I had to then spend the rest of the day sleeping as I was so drained from everything that went on earlier in the evening. I was just ... done. Couldn't think, couldn't write, couldn't do. Just needed to sleep. 

Then, on Saturday, I wrote out the post on addressing my shame.

Felt ah-mazing to get it all out. Thanks for all the comments on Facebook everyone. Really appreciate it. 

Saturday night, we got all of the girls together for the live show at my house to go over the storytelling component. 

It was hilarious, the first card game we were going to try to play was Go Fish, and none of us could actually remember how to play. 

I then wikied the instructions, and even after reading them - we were all still a bit confused. 

Read them to me like I'm a 5 year old, said @JennHoffman

I then went to youtube to see if there was a video of someone explaining Go Fish to see if it made any more sense. 

(Again, I SWEAR we are obvi not idiots, but I haven't played in over 20 years. And I couldn't remember the actual purpose of the game, or who ended up winning and because of why ... VERY simple game, but we all have VERY complex brains. hahahaha not a good combo!) 

I typed in "how to play go fish" and one of the first videos that came up was this ... 

OMMMMGGGG cutest kid ever!!! 

AND he helped us actually understand how to play.

Holy shit, we were all rolling on the floor laughing so hard. Such smart women, yet we could not for the LIFE of us wrap our heads around this stupid fucking game. 

Even more hilarious is that when all was said and done we wound up having to change the game as the verbal cues in Go Fish are too much for what we were trying to do. 

A for effort little duderino, but sorry we aren't going to play your awesome game. 

Then as we were each on our second beer the storytelling was complete, and @meowmistidawn got a call from Dr. Suzy asking if we wanted to kick it at her place tonight in honor of Eros day. 

All the girls then piled into a car (with a designated driver) and headed downtown. On the way over, Misti got a text from Hal Sparks saying that he was going to swing by as well. 

It took me a minute when she said who that was - but then it hit me like a ton of bricks. 

HOLY SHIT!!!! I love that dude!! He's the one from all the VH1 shows!!! 

Yeah, said Misti. And Queer as Folk, and a bunch of others. 

I LOVE HIM!!!! 

I then geeked out for a hot minute SUPER excited to meet one of my favorite countdown comedians. 

About an hour into us getting to Dr. Suzys he did actually show up, so I casually walked over to where they were sitting to introduce myself. 

Did I mention I spilled wine on my hand on the way over? Yep. It would not be my life if I did not have an awkward moment inside a second of what should be coolness. 

Hello, I said - pretending not to know at all who he was ... but come on ... of course I knew. 

I then went back to the stage area to watch the rest of the show, and moments later this rapper arrived from The Pack. 

I had honestly never heard of the duderino, but then he busted out with a performance of this and I knew EXACTLY who he was ... 

HELL YEAH!! It's the Vans song!!! Dude, I miss my Vans so so much ... tear ... but fuck yeah I knew that dude! 

His name was Lil Uno, and it was funny - Dr. Suzy invited us back into her office to take a look around after the show, and Uno was like, yo! lemme get yo twitter! 

He then tweeted me ... 

And just like that, inside Dr. Suzy's office, Lil Uno and I were talking about social media, while Hal Sparks was to my left flirting with Misti. 

Life, is this you? Can you REALLY be this amazing and is this REALLY happening right now? 

So random!! 

We then left Dr. Suzys and headed over to a diner in Los Feliz to stuff our faces. 

OMG OMG OMG I had the best breakfast burrito ever. 

MMMMMMM BREAAAKKKFFAASSSSTT BURRRIIITTTOOOOOOOOOOO 

It was hilarious though, all this went down at like 4am so in true LA fashion, there were some gnarly peeps at the diner ... like the group of drag queens behind us. 

I'm not quite sure if that is the politically correct technical term for them, but either way they were UNBELIEVABLY fabulous, and I adored every SECOND of it! 

Then, on Sunday I prepped more for the live show, and sent an email to an uncle of mine on Facebook re: my shame post. It was less of an amends to him, and more of an email to him as by product of the amends to myself. It was heavy, and I'm not going to post it on here, but it felt SUPER good to get off my chest. 

So, that's what's been going on! Super random weekend - as always. 

Tonight, I will be spending two hours listening to guys read "dramatic interpretations of OKC emails" for the live show. HAHAHA going. to. be. great. The script is obviously all actual OKC emails, and they're HILARIOUSSS!!!

So so soooooooooo very happy and proud of this community, and of the live show that premiers later this week. Hope to see some of your sexy lover faces there!!! Peace love and lollipops nerds!! Keep on keeping on! 

#thatisall

PS. Look what my parents sent me today in honor of our first show ... 

CHAMPAGNE AND CHOCOLATES!!! AMAZING!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU MOM AND DAD!! 143