Hey #Facebook friends, your wedding pictures all look the same
Saturday, November 13, 2010 at 4:49PM
I sit in social media all day. I love it. As a kid, if you asked me to describe my perfect day, it would be sitting in a mall with headphones on watching the people walk by. Literally, I said to my best friend at the time that I couldn't wait until I had my license so I could actually go to the mall more and do that. Yeah, I was born this way, for sure. That being said, it is INCREDIBLE to me, watching my friends get older on Facebook.
See, I'm from Connecticut. I'm 25 - this is the age as a chick where shit gets real, really quickly. By now, I should have gone to college, dated some dude, graduated with a degree that is neither here nor there, gotten married, popped out or be in the midst of being knocked up with 2.5 kids and a golden retriever named Aldus.
Instead, I was a nerd who became a model and actress, said fuck you to all of it, and went on an adventure to find the meaning of life.
However, the gnarliest part about all of this though, is that the life that I "should" have lead, is brought front and center in my newsfeed on Facebook every.single.day.
I saw the relationship status changes, the "I've added children ...," I've seen every holiday, every birth announcement, every address update to reflect the purchase of a new house ... and yet it STILL doesn't interest me. I watch my friends who I grew up with who SWORE they would follow their dreams or die, slowly slip away to the life that was dictated to them via the previous generations. We were the class of 2002! We were the new generation, we were the ones that were going to change everything. What a fucking joke.
Patterns provide comfort.
Knowing at this age, that I could have a hubby who works at a job that he doesn't like, to bring home money which would provide us with things that we buy only to impress our friends, but heck, we never really ever use that china - is just a bunch of rubbish to me.
I barter to get new shoes when my foot falls through the ones before them, I wear what I want to wear because I'm comfortable in it, and I do what I want to do when I want to do it for the simple pleasure that it just felt good!
However, by choosing to work in social media, the life that I "should" have lead is presented to me every day. Smack dab right in front of my face. When the hell has that ever happened? Trust me, I don't regret a single ANYTHING that I have ever done in my entire life, but it just perplexes me enormously. It just all seems to hollow to me. I can respect that everyone chooses the life they lead, and I'm not hating on it by any stretch of the imagination ... but when you grow up with these kids, and you remember their hopes and desires - and every day you are reminded that they are not at all living up to their word ... it just seems a bit heartbreaking to me. It's like the majority of them have lived the last 8 years hitting the snooze button! I would say wake up! Or get with the program!! But again, pattern provides comfort, and fear keeps us consistently desiring a tremendous amount of comfort. The majority of people do not want to in fact "get with the picture" because they are too scared about what is going to happen next! There is no previous generation with a cheat sheet.
I am just as confused as the rest of my generation, but I can at least say without hope or agenda, that from the time I was 2 on ... I have never given up on a single dream. In fact, by staying present and not having a plan or a map, it wound up to be better than I could have ever dreamt. I might not know what my ultimate end goal is in any of this, but that's what's so awesome! I don't have to know. I just am, and I'm just being. This life definitely isn't glamorous, (dude, I ate beef jerky for 30 days) but its mine - and I love it.
#ThatIsAll
Reader Comments (6)
Life changes us and sometimes we do live the "Supposed to " live for a while because that's what we're supposed to do and even that doesn't work out so we get Divorced by 27 and end up liiving the life we should have led in the first place. I'm 30 now and living the life I should have lead 12 years ago until now. Has it been hard? FUCK YEAH! Do I regret it? NOPE! Everyone needs not to grow up but grow down... I had to learn the hard way and like so many others I hope they find inspiration in your story and GROWN DOWN!
What generation do you live in? If you feel pressure from society or social media to do ANY of these things its because of your own insecurities. This whole post is evidence of this. I am a female your age from Connecticut, and i have bigger things to deal with in my life than constantly defending my life choices. I have been following your blog for the past few weeks to discover that this is one of the things you write about the most. Frankly, its boring. Get over yourself and start writing about something more interesting.
PS.
No shit you didn't got to college. You write like a teenager
@rayven dude, love that .... grow down ...
@also from CT ... well thanks for finding us, and checking it out. superly duperly appreciate it. dude, would love to hear about it from your perspective. did you go to college? have the 2.5 kids? send me a post. would love to read it.
I fully believe that you can live it up to the fullest and still have the 2.5 kids, weird husband, and college degree. I am soooo proof of that. I never expected or wanted marriage or kids. I wanted to get a degree in Animal Biology, go to grad school and work in a zoo. Then I met the hubbard. Life and my expectations changed with it. Marriage was just natrual and awesome at that point, and we went ahead and rounded up to 3 kids. I got the degree, and grad school to finish the PhD is definitely in the works. I do what I love every single day - blogging, photography, and loving these crazy people I choose to have around me. I certainly didn't compromise, and hope others don't either. The timeline may have changed, but the plans haven't - kids first, relocation to Ecuador later. And I also don't regret one little bit of it.
While I appreciate and understand your perspective I think you are vastly overestimating the number of people who feel that they settled for lives that they don't want. As someone who married young and works for a paycheck, i have to say - while it might not be the exact life I dreamed of growing up, its exactly the life I want now. I would bet that many of the people you wish would get with it, feel the same way. Dreams change - just because your not living the life you imagined as a kid, does not mean that you gave up.
Awesome awesome awesome comments! keep 'em up!!!!!
not at all saying that my opinion is the be all and end all. just an observation from watching facebook posts all day. rock on!