#Fact: Talk to Women as if Nothing is At Stake

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Jordan Harbinger

The three easiest women to talk to are usually the women you find unattractive, women who are married to friends of yours, or women who are paid to be friendly to you like waitresses, clothing store clerks, bartenders, etc. Why are these women easy to talk to? Because you don’t want ugly women, you know that service people are being paid to be nice to you, and married women are unavailable. There’s nothing to gain by talking to them.

There’s nothing AT STAKE.  So what’s the big deal? This information gets you nowhere, right?

Wrong.

Because the concept of what’s AT STAKE is a key to your success with the gorgeous, healthy, fit, smart, sexy, wild, funny, sweet women you WANT.  How does this help you with the women you WANT?

In the spirit of the green trend that’s sweeping the nation right now, what you need to do is REMEMBER the mindset of there being nothing AT STAKE when you interact with gorgeous, healthy, fit, smart, sexy, wild, funny, sweet women you want and RECYCLE the mindset.

You don’t have to change your approach. Change your REASON for approaching. Your game will improve NATURALLY. Women are drawn to a man who doesn’t covet his opportunities with women.
Instead of approaching women out of a desire to get something for yourself (love/affection/approval/etc.), approach because you find women interesting. Be curious about how they see the world, how they feel in the moment, how they perceive other people, and how they interact with their surroundings.

Most importantly, don’t ever consider what’s at STAKE (your ego/your happiness/your urges/etc.) and just approach, engage, and cut ‘em loose. Consider it a grand experiment to find out more about women.  If you find that women who turn you on make you nervous and blow your mindset, try this. It is an easy, practical way to recycle and re-install the “nothing is at stake”  mindset. I call it “high concept.”  High concept is a simple concept usually used to explain a film. I use it to explain the concept of having a whole conversation about a simple idea.

Decide that you will ask the same simple question of ten women in one day. Regardless of their answer, you will not engage but simply accept it, thank them, and walk away. Ask them anything, or borrow one of my favorites: “Peanut butter and what?”  Simply ask, and let them answer. When they do, give them a “Thanks.  Just looking for some new ideas.”  Walk away.

By the time you ask the tenth woman this question, you’ll have heard several ways of answering the question and you should be pretty comfortable asking it. You will be calm and confident regardless of your target. You will have effectively recycled the “nothing at stake”  mindset into being a regular behavior of yours.

When you’ve questioned ten women, start over, but this time start reacting to their answer. Give them a rating from 1 to 10. When you meet a “jelly,”  say “Oh come on, how about a little imagination. Raisins maybe?  Honey? Celery?”  Or if you get something really wild back say “Wow.  I’ll give you two points for that answer. What kind of a woman puts fried bananas with peanut butter??”

 

To learn more from The Art of Charm about how to meet & attract women, visit www.afterhello.com And, if you're an LA local, you can stop by The Art of Charm office and meet the crew!

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Comments

[chad holbrook]

Back in 2001 I saw a movie called The Tao of Steve. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0234853/ It stared a Donal Logue and has some of the best natural dialogue. In it, Dex (Logue) lays out his eastern philosophy for being successful with the fairer sex. It's three simple rules:

1. Eliminate your desire ("Women can smell an agenda").
2. Be excellent in their presence ( do something that proves that you're worthy of her time, even listening)
3. Withdraw (allow her the opportunity to follow)

This post really reminded me of this wonderful film. Very good post.

-chad