#NerdsUnite: Confessions of an Unwed Bride (Home Alone)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet by buddy Julie! She's my roomie, we met on Craiglist, and she is 1,000 flavors of everything awesome sauce. The reason why she had a room in her apartment however is a mighty long story. See, Julie was dating a duderino for 8 years. Yep, they were engaged to be wed and all that snazzy jazzy stuff. Now the engagement is off and Julie is attempting to heal from her loss; these series of posts are her best attempt. HIT IT JULIE! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @ItsMeJoolie

Catch up on the story: read my reservations about writing out this story and here's Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV  and Part V of our ending.

I have to go home. I have to leave the comforts of being around all of my family, of being in my mother's house and being in South Florida and head back to Los Angeles. I have to go back to an empty house. My ex is staying at a friend's house. I ask my brother if he will please, please go to LA with me and stay for a week. Thank God, the moon, the stars and the sun, he said yes.

We have an amazing conversation on the 5 hour plane ride. It was therapeutic.

We get home. I am so happy to be in my own place, even if it is empty, which is so sad. I walk into my bedroom and put my stuff down. I turn on the lamp on my nightstand. There is a hair clip on my nightstand. It does not belong to me. But I know exactly who often uses those in her hair.

A slap in the face before I even unpack.

I contact him and of course, he denies. Claims that he must have put in there when he was cleaning the house and that it's probably ___'s (the mutual friend's house he is currently staying at). I go to sleep that night wondering what exactly is on the sheets I'm sleeping on.

So, of course, in the next couple of days, the crazy girl in me comes out full force. What the fuck is going on? I NEED answers. My life is falling apart. One night while my brother is on the couch watching TV I decide to go and do some detective work. I go to our filing cabinet and open the top drawer, which is his. In the back I can see a huge stack of receipts and Christmas cards. Jackpot. I learn a lot. I read all of the Christmas cards addressed to us BOTH. I see find a Bank of America receipt and discover that he got over a thousand dollars from his parents in Christmas money. By the rest of this stack of receipts I can see that he drank it all away.

Then I find a receipt that stops my breath.
SLS Hotel. $100

I quickly jump on the computer to see how much it costs to stay at the SLS. $400. I look back at the receipt and realize it's for a restaurant at the hotel. Then I find the valet receipt and I see that he left at midnight. Okay, so he didn't stay at the hotel. But he spent $100 on a really nice dinner....WTF.

I walk back out to the living room. I am shaking and flushed. I sit next to my brother and my mind and heart are racing. The problem with snooping is that in order to confront the person with your findings, you have to admit what you were doing. I honestly do not even remember confronting him about this. I know I did and I know he gave me some more bullshit.

My brother and I had a great time talking and watching Beavis & Butthead. He claims that he hates being shown TV and movies by people because he almost never likes the stuff he's shown. I put my foot down though. I make him watch Firefly. He and I grew up watching Star Wars and Star Trek together, damnit, I know he'll love this. At first, he’s not so sure about Mal as a captain but of course, he comes around (since it's the best show in the verse). I was so grateful for his companionship during this time. We had so many good talks about life. I was sad when the week was over and it was time to take him to the airport.

When I get home it takes everything that I have to not cry.
My apartment is so quiet.
It feels like my heart does, alone.

#nerdsunite

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Comments

[Snailbob]

Julie,

I have read your posts and I just wanted to thank you. I literally feel as though you have posted my life story.

I recently went through a terrible break up. In August 2011, My partner of three years called off our two year engagement (6 weeks before our September wedding). He was sleeping with his work collegue. He profusley denied sleeping with her prior to calling it off, but I have the hotel reciepts to prove it.

Christmas was hard, thinking of him going home without me, knowing that he was taking her home to meet his friends and family. I am angry at her and can share your sentiment towards your ex's fling. I especially relate to your comment about wanting to punch her in the face. If I saw her I would want to kicked her really hard!!! It does makes me feel bad because, I'm not a bad person, but hey, thats how I feel!! I still dont understand how she could do this to me.

I recently turned 27 and have really struggled with the thought that I should be married right now! I shouldn't be facing the prospect of a single life, while he runs around the country being happy with her.

I want to thank you for your bravey in posting your story here. I have felt very alone recently, I dont fit in with my many married friends and I feel like I am the only one in the world who has been crushed like this (ridiculous I know). Your posts have helped me put these feeling into perspective and realise that I am definately not alone in my plight, that whilst it will take me some time to get myself back on my feet after such a heart break, there are people out there on the same path.

I would also like to thank some of the other reader, their comments have given me hope that there is happiness after heartbreak.

Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!!

If you ever come to Sydney, Australia you will have to let me shout you a drink. (yes ladies and gentlemen, there are w@nkers in Australia as well ;) )