#Nerdy Neutrons presents: Worst Bite!

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @ashleighmayes and @saintpepsi

Jordan: Hey all, Ashleigh and I are back for another round. Did you miss us? I'll assume you did. In this article we're going to dive into which bite is worse: a Vampire or a Werewolf. Yes, yes, I know. Zombie is the worst! Your skin falls off, you lose the ability to speak properly, and your taste for decent food goes right down the drain. So under the assumption that being bit by a ZOMBIE is easily the worst of viral mouth associated viruses, we'll run right on to the next two bites. I'll be arguing for Vampirism being the worst.

Ashleigh: I have to disagree, dearest Saint! Being bitten by a WEREWOLF would be the crappiest bite you could have in your entire life. Think about it! You get bitten by a savage beast and all of a sudden your life changes. I know, I know. Getting bitten by a Vampire can't be fun either. At least when you're bitten by a Vampire it's usually a smokin' hottie! You don't WANT to resist! Ever been attacked by a large dog? I have! It's NOT fun! Add to that about 200 pounds of muscle and a pissed off temperament! A Werewolf doesn't want to merely BITE you. It wants to EAT you!

Jordan: I'll give you that. Especially, since you may be a werewolf. That time you were attacked by that vicious dog may have left you a cuddly monster. Sure, a werewolf attack is pretty brutal, but if you survive you heal up pretty fast and you're not DEAD! Things a vampire can't do but a werewolf can: how about live a normal day to day life? Stand in the sunlight, enjoy food, and not have to murder to eat. I mean how often are there full moons, anyway? Like 3 months of the year? If you're a vampire, it's 24/7. Then again, they are pretty damn sexy and when you don't have a soul you can justify anything.

Ashleigh: Ever seen the stories where little kid/woman/man is burned at the stake for committing so many murders? Know what that is? Because when you're a werewolf, you don't have ANY control when you're beginning to change, during the process, and after your transformation. If you're a werewolf, you're literally doing EVERYTHING against your will during a full moon. It's like you don't exist anymore and this beast comes in and takes over. And what about those that kill their family? When they get back to human state, they get to live with the guilt of killing their loved ones forever! At least, for the most part, Vampires have control of their mind and actions. It could be argued that they don't have complete control, but ANYTHING is more control than running miles on end and shredding smaller, weaker living beings to confetti.

Jordan: Oh come on! A Vampire terrorizes families, they hold grudges eternally (which means they can literally murder the entire family tree), they can track and kill like an animal but it's their choice. They are the purest form of evil, flawless hunters. They are SOULLESS. They exist without a soul. That's an indescribable pain. Worse still is what is the fate of that soul. Is it damned for eternity for being at the wrong place and the wrong time. Is it trapped inside a body witnessing the indescribable acts of cruel and horrible deeds done with their body. What if the soul lives on cursed to witness such things and just shrivels and dies?

Ashleigh: That's bad, yes. But think about it. When Vampires are transformed, they become an alternate form of a person. When Werewolves are made, their alternate form is a DOG. What does that mean to one cursed forever as a Werewolf? FLEAS. TICKS. WORMS. Jordan...if YOU were a vet, would YOU help a Werewolf out by sticking a pill down it's throat? Hmmmm?? So...I guess we're at a wrapping point! Any final thoughts, Jordan?

Jordan: Honestly, you know I wouldn't. Thinking back it would suck so much to live with the guilt of all the things you did as a werewolf. I can speculate all I want on how awful it would be to be soulless but to have that soul with you, the after images of the nightmarish deeds you did. No Ashleigh it would suck far more to be a werewolf. I give it to ya you, trumped me solid. Then again you were attacked by a dog. I was never attacked by a vampire. I once helped fight off a bat in our dorms, but that's about as close as I got. So there you have it folks! Next to zombies, werewolves were easily the next in line as worst bite. Here's to Ashleigh, for arguing so fervently on the side of the Lycans. Till next time... keep your running shoes on. Because, no matter what's chasing you they will always catch you in flip flops.

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#Nerdy Neutrons Presents: Change the Guy, Keep the Girl

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @ashleighmayes and @saintpepsi

Jordan: Hey, all! It’s time again for another edition of Nerdy Neutrons. I’m SaintPepsi and we got Ashleigh Mayes in here as well, of course. This time we’ll be diving into the relationship thing. A guy dates a girl hoping she’ll never change, and a girl dates a guy seeing him as a work in progress.  Keep the girl, change the guy.

Ashleigh: I think we’ll be in complete agreement on this one. I personally can admit to taking part in this. BUT, with growing up, I’ve realized that with TRUE love, it just doesn’t happen. Often, the problems with relationships ARE that the guy won’t change or that the girl DOES. It’s funny how that works. Instead of arguing points tonight, we’ll dive into the reasoning behind this phenomenon.

Jordan: Sounds like a plan to me! I think we can both give some pretty decent insight into this.  Seems like every time you get into a relationship that you aren’t really sure of, these two things get in the way. When you meet a girl and you know she’s into you, those first three months you’ll have a great experience because the girl is trying to be everything you want her to be.  It’s like the relationship starter kit. The sex is crazy spontaneous and when ever you want it or can justify it.  You go out and experience all new things or even old things you both enjoy but they are new because you’re doing them together. It’s when the lies stop and all the fronts and walls you put up come falling down to the reality and truth of who you both really are.

Ashleigh:  I think you’re right, to a certain extent. I don’t believe it’s a deceitful as you’d have everyone believe. I believe that the perfectness of the relationship is due to testing the waters and not quite being comfortable with each other. When the newness wears off, the people get comfortable with each other. When you reach that level of comfort, who you really are comes out. But why do we find things to change about guys? Why don’t guys want girls to change?  

Jordan: Personally, I think it's from the amazing first impression you gals leave on us.  I look at girls like a form of drugs. That first moment is magic. You become completely dumbfounded by the power and grace a girl holds. Those luscious curves, the dark dreamy eyes drawing you in, the intoxicating aroma from whatever perfume she happens to be wearing and that whimsical smile playing with our hearts.  Like a Christmas present all put together and daring to be opened. Or perhaps like one of those Russian dolls. Each time you take it apart, a new and more exciting thing hides inside. You girls are all together enticing and it's that magic that we find in the beginning that sparks our hearts to bend to your every will and desire. Also, why I think before we even know it we have started changing little things to keep you gals happy and smiling is you catch us unsuspecting and we are powerless before your charm and smile.

Ashleigh: So you're all about the first impression, eh? Well for me, I have to know a boy. Yeah...it's cute  to have a little smile or whatever when I'm people-watching a boy, but getting to know him and having him tell me what he thinks/feels is what really, REALLY hooks me. I'm the type of girl that replays a compliment/sentiment in her head for days after it's said. Yes...I know...I'm cheesy as hell. But really! The little things really do matter. In my case, though, it's the little things that make a connection...not my first impression. To me, if a boy is good with words, I'm GONE. I've actually had a relationship not really work before because the boy sucked with words. True story. I think that most of a girl's desire for hearing these sweet things comes from mother effing fairy tales. Seriously??? It's SO warped to get a little girl to believe that someday, her "prince" will be speaking lines of rhyme! As if! I'm not bitter, but I know unrealistic when I see it! I think that THAT is part of the root of the problem. Girls are led to believe that their "soul mates" will be absolutely perfect. Pretty much made for them... I believe that part of what makes relationships so successful is knowing that your partner has faults and loving them despite it! Working with them and understanding that you yourself has faults too! Too many girls don't realize that. They just think their man is going to be perfect. Period. They're trained on this point from the time they can be read to and it's hard to break a habit or idea that's engrained into their minds.
 
Jordan: I can get behind that. In fact, I make it a point to speak in rhyme... Stop all that rhyming and I mean it. Does anyone want a peanut? In all seriousness... That's something I came across in a recent relationship. I would say sweet things all the time but it would get a partial smile and that was about it. I never really saw how much my words could mean.  In that realm I throw in fishing for compliments. This is one of those things that starts to happen when you get comfortable in a relationship and a dumb guy stops being as flirty as he should with his girl. Lesson one boys: always flirt with your girl from day one till death do you part. Let us know with kisses sweet and smiles so mischievous. For the most part we are walls that you have to break down. Men won't get subtly at all and really need that point blank sentiment. So princes we may not be, but if we are there and trying, we are in it with you because we want to be the prince you are looking for. We want to compliment your soul and seek to do so avidly. I agree so much though that Mr. Perfect doesn't exist. In fact I think girls should be in search of Mr. Gets Me! Clicking with someone is far more practical and important. So long as you haven't settled for Mr. Right Now and keep your standards for love high, you'll find him.

Ashleigh: Another thing I'd like to bring up is "daddy syndrome". Ladies, DON'T be looking for a man to make into someone that reminds you of your father! That's just WRONG! Your father was an individual. There's no two people in this world that are alike. If you were meant to marry your father, you wouldn't be his daughter. That's called incest, my dear! Don't try to make your boy be your dad!

Jordan: So long as we're throwing out advice, guys, open your eyes. Girls don't tell you when things are bad in their life.  It's all in their mannerisms. If you ask a girl how things are going and she shrugs and gives you a half hearted answer, she’s not feeling well. Something’s up and it's your job to make her smile again. It's all in the mannerisms and the tonality. Inflections in voice will tell you more tales of how she is feeling than any solid answer would. Learn to read her face, her tones, and her demeanor. That's where clicking comes in so much use.  You can tell just about all you need to know from every little thing she does. Wow! this became a little more than I suspected. So I'll take it upon myself to wrap this one up. In general let’s say that chances are the person you meet isn't the person you'll get to know and love. We all have walls we put up to protect our hearts and its brining those walls down that allow us to get to the real relationship we will treasure. Patience and acceptance and the two greatest attributes you can apply to any relationship. Let the person you are starting to understand be who they are so you can accept them.  Ashleigh will you sign us out with your sage like wisdom?

Ashleigh: In honor of the snow that most of the U.S. has just had: don’t eat the yellow!

 
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#Nerdy Neutrons Presents: "To See or Not to See?"

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @ashleighmayes and @saintpepsi

Ashleigh:  Hello, darling readers! It’s Ashleigh and Jordan again with your next dose of Nerdy Neutrons!

Jordan: This time we'll be looking into the difference of meeting in person and meeting again to meeting on the net and then meeting in RL.

Ashleigh: To me personally, it’s much scarier to meet someone online and meet them in person. With the exception of meeting the friends of someone I ALREADY know in real life, I’ve never done it. My thing with meeting someone from the Internet is that you can literally be anyone you want. I could be a 500 lb African American man with a three foot long beard and you’d be none the wiser! One of my girlfriends talked to “Mr. Right” for a long time. It was really an old creeper using his hot grandson’s picture.

Jordan: Wow! I can see why you would be hesitant. I bet that old man had some mad skills, though.  Nun chuck skills!!! While I agree with Ashleigh that some people could really be anyone in real life I consent that meeting online, and then in real life would be so much less creeptastic.

Ashleigh: How so, Jordan?

Jordan: Not being a girl who has to watch out for freaktastic douchebags, I can understand that this may be different for the sexes. From my point of view the way everyone is putting themselves all over the Internet and basically life casting their existence is you can create quite a truthful account of who someone is.  Checking their photos you can see if they are an incessant party person, smoker, or playgirl. You can witness in real time what they are passionate about as they update their Facebook or Tweet something they enjoyed. All these, if you take the time to scoop them out, should build a pretty decent look into who a person really is.

Ashleigh: That’s true, but keep in mind that people will only show what they want to be seen. I have a double life when it comes to what is online and what happens in real life. If there are photos that I don’t want on Facebook, I untag them! I’m constantly thinking about potential employers and opportunities that I miss out on because of pictures from a party or whatever. I’m not saying that I’m a bad kid! There’s nothing that I’m really afraid of! But if there’s even a pic of you online with a red cup in your hand, people are gonna assume the worst even if YOU know it’s like…Apple Juice! Haha! And as far as meeting someone from the net: how many people do you know that put their status as “I’m ______ and I have a severe mental disorder that makes me want to murder people!” or “I’m __________ and I’m an alcoholic!”. None! The nitty gritty, dirty stuff isn’t gonna be seen online if the person cares about it.

Jordan: Very true, I know I should probably be a little more careful about the pictures that I have had put up online of me. After graduating from a Christian college I doubt any church. after looking through my Facebook pictures, would ever give me a job. Still, I operate under a strict show all theory. No lies.  It will probably bite me in the ass someday.  So I’ll give you that.  I still think that even from a limited look at someone you can skim some things about them.  I like to look at the friends they keep personally.  Coming from the town I live in, I know a lot of the people here.  Seeing the groups people run in makes it easier for me to understand how they are in real life. Like if I know the people they hang out with are all tweekers and potheads I might be a little cautious to meet them. However, if they are friends with generally chill people, hell, I’ll give them a chance.

Ashleigh: I do agree that you can tell a lot based on that. After all, “you are the company you keep”. However, that being said, I’m friends with a lot of people that have habits that  I find scary. I’d never be a part of it, but I like them as people. I think it needs to be taken with a grain of salt. Another reason that meeting online first and then meeting in real life is scary is that, even if people are open and honest, you might not get what you bargained for. I’m not going to lie. Physical attraction is a big part of a relationship for me at first. Ever heard of the fat girl angle? The Myspace angle? Yeah…and there’s this thing called Photoshop. These things make it really easy for someone to lie.

Jordan: Oh, my! I might be a little freaked to meet you in person now. ;-) Well if they are going to the trouble to Photoshop themselves, then God damn! What’s a boy to do? Honestly, I came into this thinking I’m hot shit… I’m totally going to win this one and ended up finding I don’t really have a leg to stand on. You are completely right. Online we can be whatever and whoever we want to be.  While you’re not always going to meet some crazy-eyed creeper when you meet someone offline for the first time, there’s always that possibility. Really, I think we should all demand a video conference. I have met a lot of people from an online source later and have yet to find a nut job. Still I know when I’ve been beaten. My dearest Ashleigh I award you the POSITRON!!! No matter what I could argue, the fact of it is you will never truly know who you are about to meet.  Well played, my dear, Well played.

Ashleigh: Why thank you, Jordan! I will give you this, though…the Internet is a great way to connect with people of similar background and demographics. It helps us to reach out to those with similar interests and learn new things. For example: I met you, Jordan! Care to sign us out?

Jordan: Awww..... I’m blushing. With that folks, you have it. Really, either way you go there will always be risks and reasons not to meet people. It’s all a gamble, really. So with that in mind, stay safe and take chances. You never know when you’ll meet someone as wickedly cool as Ashleigh. Till next time, this is Paul Harvey saying... Good day.  O.o OMG if you get that reference you’re an OLD MAN!!!! In all seriousness this is SaintPepsi. PEACE!

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#Nerdy Neutrons Presents: #Fated to be #Destiny!

 #talknerdytomelover's @saintpepsi and @ashleighmayes

Ashleigh: Hello, dearest nerdy lovers! Ashleigh here....

Jordan: And your favorite Patron Saint!!!

Ashleigh: Jordan and I have decided to introduce you lucky readers to a concept that we fondly call "Nerdy Neutrons". Care to explain, Jordan?

Jordan: I'm game.  See, as you may know a Neutron is a subatomic particle that is neutral.  So for the most part me, and Ashleigh will be starting out on opposing sides of something, adding a plus or a minus to that neutron.  So let's say my dearest Ashleigh is Positive and I'm Negative.  If she wins the argument or debate, we'll declare the matter a Positron and if I win, we'll add my negative to the debate. It shall be declared an Electron. If neither of us sway the other it stays a Neutron.  Or, if we're just talking about something we agreed on in the first place.

Ashleigh: Yup! That's how it works, yo! So, for your reading pleasure Nerdy Neutrons presents: Fated to be Destiny! Now I'm of the opinion that the Universe is in control. What's your stance, Jordan?

Jordan: Control of what? Giving me a Universal STD called "time" and making sure it kills me??

Ashleigh: 

Control of EVERYTHING! 

I'm guessing you're not on the side of going with the flow. 

Jordan: Nope... unless you are talking about Flo from those insurance commercials! I got a mad crush on her!

Ashleigh: Ha. Wow...I didn't really see her as your type. Anyway...so you believe your fate is in your own hands? Explain, kind sir.

Jordan: 

For the most part we make ourselves who we are.  Freedom of choice and all that jazz right.  Every single choice we make guides us down the choose your own adventure story we started back when we first became aware of our own mortality.  Throwing in words like, fate, destiny, soulmate.  That in my mind gives credit to something that really isn't helping you, takes your desire to push yourself away, and limits your options in the field of finding love.

Ashleigh: I disagree. I think that there are plans long before we're even thought of. Hell, WE'RE a plan! I do believe that we have options. I do believe that if we're going to get somewhere, we have to make the choice and do the work to get there. However, I believe that our decision for determination is planned, also. In the field of love, I STRONGLY believe that everyone has a soulmate. That they will, at one point in time, bump into that person in their life. If they act on the feeling or pursue is yet another action with yet another consequence. I naturally push myself. It's part of who I am, but I believe I was destined to have the mindset that I do. Knowing that there's a power or force bigger than yourself, like fate or destiny, gives one hope that everything will be ok. It gives people comfort in knowing that they will be where they're meant to be.

Jordan: Sure, that idea works great! Like Communism. In theory that is.... Giving people hope is the greatest way to placate them. Hope may save people who need only to believe in something for it to come true.  However, hope is just as soul crushing, if not more. Let's say you're right and you do have a soul mate.  What if you already met that person and didn't act on it? I have felt recently that I didn't act on a chance I had years ago with a girl I knew to be right. How about in life?  If there is such a thing as fate... if we do nothing we will reach that place in our lives because we are destined to do it.  We can be as apathetic as we want.  No ma'am I believe in the power of self.  That you make the choices to push you forward to drive you to success.  If anything, the force that has been the greatest asset to me would be my friends and family. They've been honest and loving with me.  Find a fate that treats you like a best friend and is there for you in the darkest hour.  In time that shit goes wrong and you want to blame fate, or God and that friend comes to you and says the most wonderful thing ever. "Sometimes shit happens and there isn't any reason for it."  Now I refuse fate because fate leads to the assumption that horrible things that happen in life happened because that was a persons destiny. 

Also, if I ever lose a friend or a loved one is raped or murdered and someone says its all part of a greater plan I will punch them square in the face.

Ashleigh: 

Ok, Ok. I'll  give it a shot. But before you read on, nerdling, know that I am NOT a bitch!I don't believe that fate is a way to pacify the numbers. I also don't believe that it can even compare to Communism. The difference is that Communism was man-made. Yes...fate may be a concept made by man, but it's a harmless concept that never has one single person at the reigns. Hope may lead to hurt, but what does it lead to in the mean time? I recently just went through a rough time. What kept me going? Hope that everything would be ok. Sure...sometimes things end crappy, but in the meantime, hope was what kept me going and growing and trying new things. Hope helped me to become a better person. What you are concentrating on is the negative. But Jordan, sometimes positive comes from negative. I dated a guy for three years. In the end, he hurt me badly physically. That was a really crappy thing. Was I destined to get hurt like that? I think so, yes. But what did I ultimately get out of it? New friends, a new appreciation for life, a new sense of self-worth, knowledge and experience about relationships, etc. You've got to look at the BIG picture, here. Maybe someone being murdered was meant to happen so that the murderer would be caught before they could have the chance to kill again. I'm not saying I'd see it that way if it was someone close to me, but what if? And what if someone being addicted to hard drugs was meant to happen so that they could clean up and reach out? In the end, if they used their experiences to save two people, don't you think that destiny has worked in the positive, despite the negative that happened?

Jordan: This is why it's fate that I met you Ashleigh.  I swear you are sunshine and rainbows and hope incarnate if I ever saw it.  How can I not believe in hope when I know hope was what pulled me through some of my darkest hours? When certain people I have met in my life have been instrumental in the advancement of my dreams?  You are included in that. Ashleigh. No, I will admit to playing the negative up quite a bit here.  Still, I do believe that many of my choices in life can lead me towards and end goal and that apathy will take me nowhere.  I think we have to actively participate in our fate to meet the true end of the dreams.  It's like those video games that have alternate endings based on how you played.  Sure you get to the same place but how everything ends depends on just how much effort you put in to make yourself into the person you know you are meant to be. With that, my dearest, Asheigh I thank you for fighting, through you have bested me. Till next time we have acquired our first positron.

Ashleigh: So...it's like our beliefs put in a blender? A happy medium? I can work with that.

Jordan: mumbles You're just too cute to argue with.... DAMN YOUR CUTENESS!!!!

Ashleigh: Hahaha. I'm willing to say we've met halfway if you are!

Jordan: I'm game, haha, but I'll still give you the Positron.

Ashleigh: No way! Nobody can really be right or wrong on a personal belief, anyway!

Jordan: True, true. But you swayed this cold heart of mine. My insides are wet from it melting. My lungs had to run to the local quick shop to buy an umbrella. For real. It happened.

Ashleigh: Ooooh, Jordan! Maybe you're just a softie!

Jordan: Shhh.....I've got a rep to keep, you know!

Ashleigh: Hahaha! Well, there you have it, readers! Nerdy Neutrons declares this topic a Neutron! This has been Jordan and Ashleigh! Signing out!

Jordan: Peace! 

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Two #Nerds talk #Boobs!

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @ashleighmayes and @SaintPepsi

Ashleigh: Hello, nerdy lovers! It's Ashleigh...

Jordan: ...and SaintPepsi here!

Ashleigh: The word of the day is...BOOBS! I've had this discussion with my girlfriends before, and it always comes back to the fact that boobs aren't that awesome.

Jordan: I'd like to counter with the age old cough *bullshit!*

Ashleigh: Seriously?! I just don't get it. They're...annoying! But before we get to the pros and cons, let's examine them for what they are: an        important part of survival.

Jordan: If surviving means sucking milk it would have to be a pretty well timed apocalypse.

Ashleigh: *rolls eyes* If the first cavemen hadn't discovered that (or had the instinct), for their infant to survive, they needed to place the little shit's mouth by that lump of fat on the female, none of us would be here today.

Jordan: They probably figured it out by watching cows or something. Really the credit should be given to the smaller creatures that really did have the instinct to do that.

Ashleigh: Eh...I suppose so. I'd hate to see the world if people copied more things that humans do. Heh...I suppose we'd save water if everyone used their tongue to clean their own...nevermind. But back to the biological aspects of the breast. Each breasticle is made up of, from closest to the body to the farthest away, the breast wall, the Pectoralis muscles, the Lobules, the duct, the Areola, the Nipple (Heh...Nipple is a funny word), and of course, the skin.

Jordan:That's a good start, i'll admit to liking all of those things together. However, to say boobs have but one purpose is sadly a short sighted look into their many productive uses which may not all be practical.

Ashleigh: Oh, Jordan! Ok, ok. I guess you're forcing me to deprive our dear readers a lesson on the biology of the boob. Tell me, then...WHY are boobs so awesome?

Jordan: Well they are useful in some many different ways. Depending on the size and yes all guys like boobs no matter what size they are. So long as there are boobs there. Boobs have been used in all forms of fashion and design. They mark the giving nature of the mother, they are inevitably the first place the eyes fall for anybody. Girl, gay or guy. Boobs have a way of pooping up everywhere.  In art the boob allows for the woman to be curved and even more sexually appealing where as a mans marks art stern and hard.  In society dresses accenting the boobs properly show status and a determination to keep one's self groomed. You will hardly find a lady dressed up to her best with out spending some time on how her boobs look to assure the proper amount of gawking. There is the natural giving nature of the breast which has been used in religions across the world for centuries as a source for nurturing, and lastly in a sexual sense the cluster of nerves at and around the boobs offer a girl even more areas to be stimulated during the sexual actions she takes on. Frankly I'm jealous.

Ashleigh: Don't be. While I see where you're coming from, as a breast-bearer, I can't tell you HOW frustrating they can be. I get embarrassed easily, but there's nothing as awkward as trying to squeeze past a crowd and accidentally have someone rub all up in your rack. Or how about hugging short people? Seriously? It's like they're short just so they can fit their face in there! But that's not the worst thing! Clothes shopping, that's what! I get SO pissed off when I find something that's SOOO cute but can't wear. It's either that it makes my boobs look boxy, or flat as a board. If it's not that they don't look right, it's that the top fits around my waist and lengthwise perfectly but doesn't fit at ALL in the chest.

And the fact that some guys (or girls, I suppose) put so much importance on them bugs me. I'm not saying that YOU are, Jordan. You're too awesome for that. I just hate how that's the VERY first thing that some care to even notice.

Jordan: It's hard not to notice them. They are shaped like bullseyes. And that has been frustrating for myself. While I am not a fat person to say I am chunky enough to have "MAN BOOBS!" Dun Dun Dun... a source of endless shame in jr. and sr. high.  You are right finding shirts large enough to not accent my lumps of fat on my chest is a difficult task. One I'd rather avoid.  Boobs on a guy just don't work so well, aside from being brilliant for a pillowish place for a lady to cuddle up on. i still admire and love the time girls to put into them. i know not all guys notice when a girl has taken the time to look gorgeous. There are a few of us that notice the little things, like a haircut, new shoes, or even new clothes. Because lets face it guys will never have to worry about accessorizing or bra's. You can't tell me it's not the greatest feeling in the world to watch a guys eyes bug out because you are a drop dead knock out. KO you sealed the deal with a whimsical kiss and you're out to dinner.  Those things have mystical powers that the kids at Hogwarts never dreamed to use... Stupid wizard robes.

Ashleigh: Haha. Ok, ok. It IS fun to make boys stare. You mentioned bras. That's another pain in the ass! If you're even slightly off of average it would be hard for you (I'm not saying I'm off of average!! WAIT...I'm not average! CRAP!) to find a perfect fit. Not only that, but boobs are the indirect cause of a sore back. I don't know HOW many guys snapped my straps in my years of public school! And what can we do in our defense? NOTHING! And not only that...but if you get hit, it HURTS! I guess that goes without saying, though. But seriously! It's FAR too easy to hurt them when you're playing around. A basketball hits a guy in the chest and it's like..."Eh...whatever". With a girl, it's like "HOLYMOTHEROFDOG!"

Jordan: Oh I know I've been hit in the boob. Still you don't have ball's a dangling so even trade i say.  Also people don't hit you in the tits because it's funny.  You see a guy get hit in the junk it's a riot. You see a girl get hit in the boob it's a show stopper.  Everything ends because everyone trys to comfort that girl.  That's why so many girls just grin and bear it because they hate the sympathy they get from getting hit there. That aside the whole bra shopping thing I totally get. i am a man who isn't afraid of Underwear shopping for my significant other. There's a reason guys buy gift cards because if you get the wrong fit they won't ever wear it except the one tome to show it off.  I usually stick to buying panties for them.  Panties tee hee... another funny word.  You girls and your funny terms for things. So adorable. Frankly i'm surprised yo haven't brought up hard nipples... Or the side term glass cutters.

Ashleigh: Jordan, you read my mind!! That was literally what I had lined up next. It's extremely embarrassing to run outside for something RIGHT across the street in the Winter time and come back inside. People are staring and you then realize why...you forgot to wear a jacket. And it's just as painful to try to cross your arms over them! It's so obvious! Who crosses their arms that high up, anyway?!? And another thing: nip slips! I can't say I've PERSONALLY had this happen, but I once got on an elevator with a girl who didn't even realize what had happened! Who wants to ADMIT that they're looking? Wait!! WHY was I looking?!? I take comfort in the fact that the other girls in the elevator noticed, too. Haha...anyway...poor girl probably walked around all day like that! Sometimes you just can't keep 'em in, I guess. And when they decide to take a look at the world, it causes a TON of trouble!

Jordan: True we guys don't get erections all day long or walk around with bulges.  It would be just as noticeable though i think.  Once again guys don't usually walk around with their hands over there junk.  But as you said you were looking.  Isn't that something you know you would do. even if she didn't have a nipple out for a breath of fresh air.  You still stopped to gander at their gals.  Girls size up girls way faster and more obvious than guys.  As guys we have spent years training our eyes to not look at boobs first.  Girls never took this mental class.  I will almost promise you that the next girl you talk to will look at your boobs before the guy does. Double standard!  So you don't care if the girl does but if the guy does he's a creep!

Ashleigh: Hey now, be nice! I didn't say that the FIRST thing I noticed was her boob! We were actually a few floors up before THAT happened! I do believe that you're right, though. There are a lot of male/female double standards. But we'll get into that another article. What have we decided, anyway, Jordan?

Jordan: I think we agree on a lot of things, I can see valid arguments on both sides and for similar parts of this debate. But my dear Ashiegh I still love boobs and all their mystical powers.  I can't agree with the proclamation that they are only useful for one purpose.  Me thinks you can't say that and truly believe it either. ;)

Ashleigh: Jordan, Jordan. You're so determined, muh dear! I agree that they have magical powers, but I, personally, am not affected by them. Call it a difference of gender, but I stick with my initial claim that boobs just aren't that amazing.

Jordan: Guess we'll just have to agree to disagree. Seems a shame! But maybe in the next episode we'll sway each other to a single side.

Ashleigh: We shall see, huh? Well...that's all we've got on "boobs"! Check back for the next co-written article! Signing out!

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