#FoodForThought: The Adventures of Fanny and Olive (Tequila)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Fanny. No really - that is her actual name. She is a massive massive massive foodie, and would like to share with you all the adventures on all of the things she puts in her mouth. Wait, no - not like that ... I mean ... well, you know what I mean. Aw shucks, just hit it already Fanny ... </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Fanny Slater

okay okay...

i'll give you my guacamole recipe.

but it's only because i'm feeling generous.  after an over-the-top, couldn't-have-gone-better, got-a-little-tipsy-in-front-of-fifty-people, bomb-diggity, first EVER live show last weekend with the lovely ladies of TNTML, i'm clearly in a good mood.  two different people at whole foods today actually commented on the fact that a fantastic cheerfulness was written all over my face.  well, what can i say?  ...other than the fact that my boss just left for india, and i think that would stretch a wide-eyed, pearly white grin across anybody's face.  let's just say things have started to look up recently and i've found myself in quite a happy place within my inner fanny.  insert butt joke here.

seriously though, this guacamole has probably gotten me about 85% of my friends.  it's pretty standard as guacamole recipes go, but of course i have a trick or two up my sleeve.  this "recipe" is also done entirely to taste--which means that i add ingredients, taste, and adjust accordingly as i go along.  this way you have the perfect combination of salty, spicy, creamy, and acidic flavors.  to me, that makes the perfect guacamole.  that...and a side of tequila shots.

oh...and you need a funny shirt.

don't ask why, it just makes you feel better overall.  yes, my shirt has a banana on it.  

the ingredients for fanny's famous guacamole are as follows:

for 3 people:

-3 ripe avocados **foodie note: you can tell an avocado is ripe because you should be able to push your finger into it.  if it feels at all firm--put the avocado down...and walk away**

-the juice of 1-2 limes

-1/4 cup finely diced red onion

-1 medium size jalapeno finely diced (the more seeds and ribs of the pepper you leave in, the spicier it will be)

-1 small handful (maybe 1/3 cup) fresh cilantro

-1 small roma tomato diced 

-pinch of salt and black pepper

-a few splashes of hot sauce (i like cholula or texas pete)

-1 medium size garlic clove finely diced <---- shhh this is the secret (let's pretend we're not on the internet for millions of people to read)

i use a sharp knife to slice through the avocados, then a fork or spoon to fold the ingredients into each other.  the most important part of this dip is that it's left chunky.  i'm not a fan of really mashed up guacamole.  i think it should look rustic and have texture.  just like they do it in mexico!  okay, i've never been to mexico...but just like they do it at las margaritas on six forks road in raleigh!  

...just don't over-mix it.  please.

because i'm in an especially good mood (i swear it has nothing to do with the fact that jen told me how many fans of fanny there are this morning), you're even going to get a bonus recipe this week to go with your guacamole! (insert trumpets and loud cheers here).  i found a recipe for creamy baked chicken taquitos on pinterest last week...

side note: pinterest = the new orange.  

i generally never follow a recipe ingredient-for-ingredient.  unless it's baking and i have no idea what they hell i'm doing.  i believe that recipes are wonderful, but that you should use them as tools to create something unique in your own kitchen that suits your personal tastes and preferences.  i love finding recipes and then putting my own spin on them, which is exactly what i did with these super easy chicken taquitos.  

ingredients needed:

-shredded store bought roasted chicken or homemade roasted chicken (use mexican flavors and spices for the marinade--lime juice, cumin, chili powder, hot sauce)

-light garden veggie cream cheese

-fontina and cheddar

-black beans

-roasted garlic

-roasted pasilla peppers

-caramelized red onions

mix all ingredients in a bowl and then spread thin strips of the mixture onto flour tortillas (i used whole wheat).  roll into thin wraps, spray with vegetable oil, and sprinkle with kosher salt.  bake at 425 for 5-8 minutes--flipping each taquito over once.  keep an eye on these, they turn golden brown quickly!

now you're fully prepared to have your own mexican dinner party.  just remember...the tequila is for human guests ONLY.

sorry olive.

#nerdsunite

click here to check out more from Fanny! (heheheeheh her name is Fanny)

and follow her on twitter over yonder!

#FoodForThought: The Adventures of Fanny and Olive (classic)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Fanny. No really - that is her actual name. She is a massive massive massive foodie, and would like to share with you all the adventures on all of the things she puts in her mouth. Wait, no - not like that ... I mean ... well, you know what I mean. Aw shucks, just hit it already Fanny ... </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Fanny Slater

in honor of talk nerdy to me lover's first live show (tomorrow night at 9:30 PM at the little modern theater on santa monica boulevard), i decided that this post should be somewhat of a tribute.  obviously, this is a food blog--and there's not really a food that screams "website-turned-kickass-stage-show"--so you'll just have to go with me here.  from the moment i met jen friel, i knew there was something special about her.  actually, it was about half an hour AFTER i met her--because for the first thirty minutes, i didn't realize she had headphones on under her hoodie and couldn't hear a word i was saying.  when you meet people that have the "it" factor, you can practically reach out and touch that magical light they have around them.  i was so honored to be asked anytime jen needed an extra hand or face on camera, but when she asked me to be part of her incredibly successful blog--i couldn't have been more thrilled.  getting to be one of the very first five girls in the TNTML live show is going to be an experience i'll never forget.  it hasn't even happened yet, and i already know it's going to be classic.

to me, classics are everything from sixteen candles, to skip-its and pop rocks, and of course...

 

 jen friel is a one-of-a-kind classic and i'm lucky to be a part of whatever she spreads her magic onto. another irreplaceable classic--that i believe no one will disagree with me about--is a caesar salad.  they've always been a favorite of mine, but coming from a family where the salad dressings are always homemade--i can be a little picky.  nobody likes a wilted, gloppy, over-dressed salad.  especially when it comes to something so traditional like the caesar salad--the ingredients should be treated delicately and as equal members of a wonderful ensemble cast.  although i don't mind the flavor of anchovies when they're blended into a dressing at a good restaurant, they're not something i generally keep on hand unless it's olive's birthday.  the recipe that my dad originally taught me for this is pretty standard.  you can certainly add things to it and change it up as you like, but for it to be a traditional caesar dressing (minus the anchovies)--the ingredients are as follows:

-dijon mustard

-lemon juice

-egg yolk 

-worcestershire sauce

-garlic

-parmesan cheese

-cracked black pepper

-salt

-olive oil

yes, it's true.  caesar dressing doesn't HAVE to be full of mayonnaise.  there's a restaurant in raleigh where i'm from that, in my opinion, makes the best caesar salad i ever had.  a few years back, i had the opportunity to work as an intern under the executive chef and i couldn't help but ask what the secret was.  are you ready for this?

....cheetos.

just kidding!  that would be awkward.  the secret is hardly even a secret at all!  instead of using raw garlic--like most caesar dressings call for--they used ROASTED garlic.  the sweet nutty taste adds a different layer of flavor that only sticks out enough to make you to say, "what the hell makes this so good?"  for my ultimate caesar salad, other than the incorporation of roasted garlic and a touch of light sour cream or plain greek yogurt (to make it a little creamier), i'm a big fan of adding roasted capers and roasted peppers.  i learned that trick from another restaurant i used to work at.  see...who needs culinary school when you can learn all your tricks in real live kitchens!

for the dressing (this serves 2 people and makes 2 medium size caesar salads):

1. coddle one egg (no, that does not mean hug it and whisper compliments into it's shell.  run it under warm water to get it to room temperature, and then let it sit in boiling water for EXACTLY one minute, run it under cold water, crack it and put the yolk in your dressing bowl)

2. the juice of half of a lemon

3. 1 tablespoon dijon mustard

4. a few shakes of worcestershire sauce (two teaspoons maybe)

5. 1 medium minced raw garlic clove + 2 medium roasted garlic cloves (smashed and chopped)

6. cracked black pepper and salt to taste

7. 1 tablespoon fresh finely grated parmesan cheese 

8. 1-1.5 tablespoons olive oil (whisk it in until the consistency looks dressing-like)

9. optional: 1 teaspoon light sour cream or plain non-fat greek yogurt

once the dressing is done--make sure your romaine is washed, dryed, and cut to your liking.  a lot of restaurants keep the leaves whole and paint the dressing right on them.  i think this makes for a beautiful presentation--but it's a little easier to eat at home if you pre-cut your lettuce.  

never be afraid to pre-cut your food...even if someone tells you it's impolite.

...sorry...personal tangent.

 

lay out all of your ingredients...

from the bottom left going upwards: roasted chicken, homemade english muffin croutons, roasted capers, feta cheese, romaine, scratch-made dressing, parmesan for the top.

to answer your questions: 1. yes, i do add feta to my caesar salads because i love the added salty flavor. 2. yes, i'm lying.  i add feta because i'm obsessed with greek food and i put feta in my cereal.  3. yes, that was also a lie.  4. yes, i did make those croutons out of honey wheat english muffins.  (cut into squares, toss with olive oil, salt, bojangles seasoning, and parsley)  once again, if you don't have bojangles seasoning--just use paprika for the color.

it doesn't get much more classic than that.

if you're already being fancy and making a caesar salad entirely from scratch for dinner--you might as well keep the classy going.  i recommend a glass of wine.  

so does olive.

#nerdsunite

click here to check out more from Fanny! (heheheeheh her name is Fanny)

and follow her on twitter over yonder!

#FoodForThought: The Adventures of Fanny and Olive (McMuffin)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Fanny. No really - that is her actual name. She is a massive massive massive foodie, and would like to share with you all the adventures on all of the things she puts in her mouth. Wait, no - not like that ... I mean ... well, you know what I mean. Aw shucks, just hit it already Fanny ... </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Fanny Slater

okay, seriously guys.
let's talk about breakfast.

if it was up to me, breakfast would happen more than once a day.

i'm one of those weird people that, more often than not, wakes up in a good mood.  i don't leap out of bed singing like a disney character--unless my best friend is there and needs to be woken up.  but i do find the fuzzy socks lodged somewhere in my jersey sheets and hop into the kitchen with a smile on my face.  i think the reason i'm so excited in the mornings is because it's been at least twelve hours since my last meal.  some people have a favorite time of the day.  mine is whenever it's time to eat again.  i usually stick to the breakfast basics, but of course i try to occasionally switch up what i'm making to keep things exciting.

so let's talk tips. 

i'm a big fan of any kind of breakfast sandwich.  i think that everything originated from the egg mcmuffin and should all be built off of that idea.  english muffin (vehicle) + egg patty (star) + american cheese (supporting character) + canadian bacon (cameo).  yes, breakfast just became a movie.  i think the english muffin a fabulous suitcase for your sandwich--but recently i've been loving a product from a company called "western bagels".  they make a variety of different bagels available packaged in your local grocery store, but my favorite are the roasted onion flavor.  it's not just that they resemble everything bagels (on my top ten list of favorite foods) but they happen to be 100 calories!  a regular bagel can run you 300-450 calories so i think it's a great substitution.  and don't worry--we're not talking mini fat-free bagels.  we're talking about regular sized, savory, full flavored bagels. 

so my first breakfast tip for you is branch out from your typical egg mcmuffin recipe and start experimenting!  POOF!  you're a breakfast sandwich scientist!  here are two examples of how i re-invented the egg mcmuffin:

 

-toasted roasted onion bagel, 1 scrambled egg, grafton sharp white cheddar cheese, two thin slices of genoa salami, fresh basil.

 

-warmed pita pocket with 1 egg + 1 egg white scrambled with smoked provolone cheese, diced red and yellow tomatoes, sweet chicken sausage, thin spread of garden veggie cream, basil.

i realize you're not going to find either of these on a drive-thru menu on the way to work in the morning, but in your spare time you can certainly mess around in your own kitchen.  i invite you to make your own version of the fanny mcmuffin.  also, while we're on the topic of eggs, i'm a big fan of frittatas and omelets.  today is less about recipes and more about tips, so i wanted to give you some omelet advice while we're on the subject.  since an omelet acts as a snuggie for its internal ingredients, it can be hard to differentiate whether you're getting a goat cheese omelet or one with shoelaces on the inside.  i'm just saying...you never know.  a great way to brighten up the outside of your omelet is to set aside some of your ingredients and sprinkle them on top before serving.  for example:

 

now, your guest will be fully aware that you're serving them a herb, feta, tomato, and chicken sausage omelet instead of a chocolate chip cookie omelet.  like i said...you never know.  there are also caramelized onions in there...shhh!  we have to keep some element of surprise!  now of course there are many other forms of breakfast that don't involve eggs.  i happen to be a big fan of yogurt parfaits.  they're a great light and healthy breakfast that get you ready to attack the day.  or your boss.  whatever.  making a yogurt parfait is obviously not rocket science, but i do have some tips for sprucing it up a bit.

first and foremost--the type and flavor of yogurt is completely up to you.  i've found recently that i'm a big fan of greek yogurt.  not only does it have three times more protein than regular yogurt, but all of the non-fat flavors are fantastic, and it's thick and creamy so you think you're eating something bad!  i like pretending that it's ice cream.  or a cheeseburger.  whatever i'm in the mood for that day really.  anyway, my parfait tips are the following:

-everyone knows that a yogurt parfait includes granola, but try mixing up the texture.  throw in some toasted nuts or homemade honey roasted sunflower seeds.
-everyone knows that raisins are awesome, but try changing that up as well.  see those tiny little raisin-looking nuggets on my parfait?  those are currants! 
**foodie note: currants are small, seedless, sweet grapes that are great for baking.  they're less plump and have a touch of tartness.  i like them for parfaits because they spread out nicely since they're so itty bitty.
**foodie note: itty bitty is NOT a technical term.
-everyone likes a little extra touch of something sweet, so try drizzling honey or agave right on top of your parfait for some added brightness.

i asked olive to share with you her favorite breakfast tips, but since she sleeps 17 hours of the day...she eats breakfast for pretty much every meal.
right olive?

#nerdsunite

click here to check out more from Fanny! (heheheeheh her name is Fanny)

and follow her on twitter over yonder!

#FoodForThought: The Adventures of Fanny and Olive (Easy Button)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Fanny. No really - that is her actual name. She is a massive massive massive foodie, and would like to share with you all the adventures on all of the things she puts in her mouth. Wait, no - not like that ... I mean ... well, you know what I mean. Aw shucks, just hit it already Fanny ... </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Fanny Slater

just the other night, someone asked me where i learned how to cook.  well, the answer is that i owe 75% of my foodie knowledge to my dad and the other 25% to my obsession with the food network.  whether i'm sleeping, sweeping, sauteeing, or salsa-ing (making pico de gallo, not dancing) i have food network on in the background.  my brain is constantly absorbing knowledge and tips and i can't even begin to explain to you all the things i've learned.  it's basically been like going to cooking school for free.  shhhh.

but back to where it all started...

one of the earliest memories i have of watching my dad cook for me is seeing him prepare chicken fingers from scratch.  yep, chicken fingers.  it's not like he was going to feed a seven year old duck confit over polenta.  not that i would have minded that--but usually a kid's taste-buds start out a little more simple.  after slicing boneless chicken breast into long strips, he would dip them into flour, and then an egg-wash, and then some type of seasoned breadcrumbs.  i believe paprika was involved.  back in those days, i didn't pay attention to much besides what color the lint between my toes was.  well, let's face it.  not much has changed.  but there was something about seeing my dad create this simple dish from the very beginning that got the wheels in my head turning.  as a child, you're used to just seeing food appear in front of you.  to witness its production from start to finish was such a vivid memory that has stuck with me, and really influenced the way that i prepare my own meals.  don't get me wrong, i love pushing the easy button and microwaving a hot pocket when i'm running late, and there is always space in my fridge for a lunchable.  it's true!  i'm all for quick and easy pre-prepared meals in certain situations, but i truly believe that if you have the opportunity to make something scratch--then why not?

where do you think olive came from?

 

for today's recipe, i wanted to continue with the theme of simplicity.  what's more simple...and more delicious...than french fries?
that's right.
NOTHING.

fries are another dish that i've seen my dad make more times than i can count.  the key to a good french fry is a crispy outside and a soft, fluffy inside.  and preferably about a hundred spoonfuls of ketchup...but that's just me.  i'm also a big fan of homemade sweet potato fries, but today i wanted to stick to the basics.

homemade skinny fries
(by skinny i mean thin.  i still haven't figured out how to take the calories out yet.)

1. rinse and dry an idaho potato (preferably one that is long and skinny and not perfectly round like mr. potato head).
2. slice into french fry shape--as thin or thick as you want.  i happen to like them thin so they cook faster.  i'm impatient.
3. heat a deep sautee pan with vegetable (or canola or peanut) oil.  i'm not a professional or anything so i'm not here to talk about what the temperature of your oil should be.  just crank up the heat to medium high and test it out by dipping one of your fries in it.  small bubbles should sizzle around the fry.  if nothing happens, then increase your heat.
**foodie note: although olive oil is fantastic and has my cat's name in it, you need something like vegetable, canola, or peanut oil because it has a higher smoke point.  don't worry about what that means.  just do what i say.  i'm a professional....**
4. you don't need so much oil in the pan that the fries are completely immersed, you just want them to be bathed in the oil.
5. give the fries about five minutes in the pan, turning and tossing them occasionally.

 
 

6. when they're done in the oil, they will be lightly golden brown like this.

...you didn't think we were done yet did you?

7. lay out the fries on a baking sheet and make sure not to crowd them or put them all in one pile.  bake at 350 for about 5-10 minutes (depending on how many fries you have) until a knife can easily pierce the thickest one.
8. put in a bowl and toss with sea salt and cracked black pepper.  if you're feeling crazy, toss them with fresh minced garlic and parsley.

9. if you're from north carolina, go to your local bojangles and buy this.

10. if you have no idea what bojangles is--first, shame on you--second, toss your fries in a combination of old bay seasoning, salt, pepper, and a pinch of sugar.
good luck and happy french frying

#nerdsunite

click here to check out more from Fanny! (heheheeheh her name is Fanny)

and follow her on twitter over yonder!

#FoodForThought: The Adventures of Fanny and Olive (highlights)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Fanny. No really - that is her actual name. She is a massive massive massive foodie, and would like to share with you all the adventures on all of the things she puts in her mouth. Wait, no - not like that ... I mean ... well, you know what I mean. Aw shucks, just hit it already Fanny ... </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Fanny Slater

so here i am. back in hollywood after two wonderful weeks of being home and surrounded by familiar places and faces. i always gain a lot of perspective on things when i'm back on the east coast and everything is slowed down around me.  with no requirements like work or getting out of my pajamas, it gives me a chance to just be peaceful in a place where i know i can be completely truthful and accepting of my feelings.  more on that later.

being in north carolina also gives me a chance to get back to my roots.

...not those roots.

these.

 the woman who cuts, styles, and colors my hair has been a part of my life for the past twelve years.  she was there with her bottles and brushes the very first time i said i wanted to be blonde like britney spears.  she was there with her scissors the first time i ever begged for jennifer aniston's layers.  she was there with an angry look on her face when i came back from a trip to the bahamas at fifteen and presented her with a head full of sun-in and lemon juice.  angela has not only been my "hairstylist" for the past decade and beyond, she has been a friend and certainly a part of our family.  when i moved to california, i still wasn't able to accept that i would have to find someone new to trust with my locks.  even angela tried to convince me that i would have to find someone for those unavoidable routine trims to chop off the split ends.  being the stubborn person that i am, i decided that instead of finding someone new--i would just suck it up and wait it out until i was back home every three to four months and could squeeze in a trip to angela.  it's now been fifteen months, and i have successfully not had anyone else touch a hair on my head.  it's not just that she does an exceptional job every single time, it's that she's been there through it all.  she remembers when i broke up with my high school boyfriend and decided to get some red streaks.  she remembers when i hesitantly let her cut some "swoop bangs" and ended up falling in love with them.  it's not an easy thing to find someone you trust so much with such a valuable part of your outside being.  so when you find that person that knows your hair like the back of their hand, don't let them slip away.

now on an entirely different, yet similar note...

let's talk about highlights.

nope, not those.

these.

let me explain.

when i say that a big part of my cooking technique is to make things from scratch, i don't mean EVERYTHING.  if i'm making a homemade quesadilla, you're not going to find me throwing masa around the kitchen to pound out some fresh tortillas.  i believe that every dish should have be assembled with tasty components, but that there should always be one or two highlights that really take it over the top.  for example, last night i made the dish that's pictured above.  the question coming to all of your minds right now is probably the same as the response i got from my sister after sending her that very image last night: "what in the good lord is that gorgeousness?!"  well, this is a portabello risotto topped with shrimp in a white wine lemon bacon sauce with roasted garlic green beans and basil.  it may sound complicated, but there are two very important parts to this dish that truly exemplify my cooking style.  first, there is the highlight: the shrimp doused in a delicate and lemony, yet unctuous and creamy sauce.  second, there's the backup: the risotto.  let me clarify this, if your goal is to make risotto as your main dish--then make a freakin' risotto.  if the shrimp are your star, or the highlight, then you can really use anything you want as your side dish.  occasionally i'll find a decent boxed risotto or couscous mix in the grocery store that i'll keep on hand for this exact type of meal.  i spruced up the store-bought risotto by adding some sauteed portabello mushrooms and parmesan--but ultimately, its whole purpose is to act as a supporting character to the shrimp.

i tried to explain this to olive last night, but she wasn't paying attention.

for the supporting characters:

-if this is just a simple dinner you're making for yourself, i recommend any kind of easy store-bought starch like couscous or a good boxed risotto.

-the green beans were simply oven roasted at 400 (with olive oil, salt, and pepper) until caramelized (8-10 minutes or until a knife slides through them) and then sauteed with butter and garlic.

for the shrimp and sauce (these measurements are for 1 serving so adjust accordingly):

-marinate 5 shrimp in olive oil, lemon juice, salt, pepper, hot sauce, white wine, and bojangles seasoning (that's right, i have bojangles seasoning. if you don't know what that is, then just use a pinch of cajun seasoning.  if you don't have cajun seasoning, then just use a pinch of paprika, sugar, and red pepper flakes.  if you don't have paprika, then close the computer and go to the store.)

**foodie note: only marinate the shrimp for twenty minutes or less.  the acid in the lemon juice will tighten the protein in the shrimp and make it tough.  nobody likes a punk.**

-saute one diced piece of bacon until crispy.  remove the bacon and set aside on a paper towel.

-in the same pan, add shrimp and saute two minutes per side (my shrimp weren't massive so they didn't need long).  remove shrimp, set aside.

-in the same pan, add a touch of butter and saute 1/4 cup of diced sweet onions and a teaspoon of garlic (2-3 minutes).

-deglaze the pan with 1/2 cup white wine, 1/2 cup chicken stock, and the juice from half of a lemon. bring to a boil, and then reduce heat to a simmer until the liquid is about half evaporated and thicker (8-10 minutes)

**foodie note: deglaze simply means to add liquid to a pan to scrape up the bits from the bottom and make a tasty sauce or gravy.**

-finish with another small piece of butter (or small scoop of light veggie cream cheese).  add bacon and shrimp back to pan--stirring to incorporate all of the flavors back together.

for the presentation:

-swirl reduced balsamic around the plate (why not be fancy? you deserve it!)

**foodie note: reduced balsamic is a mixture of equal parts balsamic vinegar and a sweet liquid (i like honey or agave) boiled down and reduced to make a thick, sweet syrup)

-pile risotto in the middle of the plate, top with shrimp and sauce mixture, garlic green beans, fresh basil, and parmesan.

if you're still wondering what getting a haircut and shrimp have to do with each other, then scroll back up to the top and start over.

enjoy!

#nerdsunite

click here to check out more from Fanny! (heheheeheh her name is Fanny)

and follow her on twitter over yonder!