#RealDeal: You're killing me smalls (30 day dating detox)

Wow, going to that brothel really had an effect on me. In talking to the girls, and the madam I felt like I was staring into this mirror. The girls were so open and candid, but were obviously completely guarded. I am doing the same thing with my life as they are except I have corporate sponsors instead of tricks, and I seduce with words and not sex. (not that there's anything wrong with that) 

I need a change in my life.

A drastic one.

I've been "dating" now on an extremely consistent basis for 3 years and I am STILL single. All that I know about life and energy is that we are in a constant state of like finding like. I am VERY good at attracting a lot of people but my issue is all the guys that are SUPER into me I am not into. After the 103 dates in 9 months there were only 2 guys that I genuinely clicked with right off the bat. One I fell in love with, and the other I scared off. (That's a DUDE A YEAR BTW!!!! It's been 2 years since the 103 dates.) 

Totally get it, but what in me is STILL attracted to that kinda guy? 

Got me thinking about my lifestyle. 

What am I currently doing? 

• Hustling every day. 
• Drinking like a fish. 
• Dominating slaves. 
• Eating garbage. 

Another thing I learned at the brothel actually is that the tricks use sex as an escape, and I use domination. It helped me TREMENDOUSLY come into my skin, but now I am using it as a crutch. I'm saying I can only be confident in my personal life when I wear my domme shoes. WTF is that about?!?! 

My confidence in business is off the charts. Period end of sentence. My personal life however is just plain disastrous. 

You can't be truly "happy" or truly "successful" until both of your houses are equally balanced. My houses are so skewed right now that I'm limping. It's REDIC. 

My manager has been telling me over and over that I have to be more of a lady and pay attention to the little details for the guys that he knows I want to attract. 

My immediate impulse when I am in that scenario is to burp in his face (which I can do on command, btw) and call myself a classy fucking broad. 

The medium is irrelevant (jewish singles mixers, or online dating) - if I'm not taking care of me, the rest is all just shit. 

Here is my plan of action: 

Objective: Cleanse soul for 30 days with a personal love, and self awareness project. 

Execution/ Rules: 

1) No dating for 30 days. (Project ends on Valentines Day. Obvi this includes all online dating. Accounts will not be activated.)

2) No swearing. (I curse like a fucking sailor. It's bad, really bad. I am going to change that and if I do catch myself swearing I will be fined $5 for each offense and at the end donate money to a local charity.) 

3) I must get up every morning and put on makeup. (Working from home means I can wear whatever I want and look however I want. If I am going to love myself and take care of myself I have to look presentable even if it is only FOR myself.) 

4) Get contacts. (I've been wearing glasses for the last year because I've been too lazy and cheap to go to my doctor to get a new contact lense prescription. I am going to change that since I genuinely like wearing contacts sometimes too.) 

5) Get my car back. No more city bus. (Hardcore bitches and broads take the city bus. Ladies and queens drive their own vehicle. I have the money to get it back now, but again, I'm just too damn cheap to pay it. I am going to change that.) 

6) No slaves. (No more domination until I stop using it as escapism.) 

7) No drinking. (This one is going to be hard since everything that I do is so social and drinking is a huge part of it. By not drinking though, it's going to help me clear my head and get to a sounder mind. Obvi, too, I'm not going to let it effect my business, so I will at most have a clause allowing a single glass of whatever but again strictly for professional purposes. ex: a fancy pant happy hour meeting, or when I speak at this conference in Vegas in a few weeks. No DOUBT they are going to want to kick it and toast to a job well done. I'll figure that part out.) 

8) Healthy eating. (I am not going to call it a "diet" but I am going to be WAY more conscious of the foods that I am eating and I am going to expand my culinary skills as much as possible by cooking at home.) 

9) Visit the gym everyday.  (I love spinning and I genuinely need to fill up my time schedule since the social side of things is going to be so closed off. Adding to my exercise habit is going to help me sleep better too and give me a solid routine.) 

10) I must keep my room clean. (Growing up we had a housekeeper so my cleaning as an adult is lacking. I LOVE LOVE LOVE having a clean room but getting me to carve time out of my day to do it is like pulling teeth. Clean house, clean mind. My room must be clean, and my roommate will police it and call me out on twitter if I am not doing it.) 

10) Must do 15 girly things. 

Ex list: 

a) maintain manicure

b) maintain eyebrows

c) bikini wax (never done that one before) 

d) go shoe shopping for myself and pay for my own shoes (I currently only own corporate sponsored shoes or domme shoes that my slaves bought me. I need to buy a pair for myself.) 

e) girly slumber party 

f) buy myself a new outfit for the purpose of impressing myself 

g) buy a piece of art that inspires me

h) take a pottery class 

i) cook dinner for friends

j) visit the lacma 

k) host a chick flick marathon

l) go shopping with girlfriends and try on super girly clothing. The frillier the better. 

m) take a bubble bath

n) visit a spa and pay for visit myself

o) purchase perfume 

p) get a new tattoo (all big life changes require a tattoo) 

q) meet someone that inspires me 

r) make a new girlfriend 

Those are just some examples. I'm not married to any of them, so if you guys have anything you want to add in I'm totally game to hear it. 

I'm going to now Miyagi the shit out of my life and focus on self in the hopes of that changing my energy and the kind of people I am attracting into my life. In Buddhism they teach you that peace comes from within, and you cannot seek it. I am "seeking" a partner when I am really looking to fix something within myself. I don't know what that "lack" is yet, but I know by kicking my own ass I will definitely find ... something. 

Who knows if this is going to work, but my word is my honor and I will not consider anything "done" unless there is photographic evidence. 

Time to be less of a classy broad and more of a fucking lady. (Better get that money ready. I swear so fucking much!!) Starting .... now .... 30 days. HERE I GO!!!! 

#thatisall

Oh yeah and ... 

click the screenshot to comment on Facebook

click the screenshot to comment on Facebook

#NerdsUnite: @DateMySchool 's Dating Guide to Help Scholars Book Dates

<editorsnote> We interrupt your regularly scheduled Talking Nerdy to bring you a message from one of our sponsors, Date My School. They're here today to not only highlight the awesome that is them (and for reals, they have the NICEST UX I think I've ever seen on a dating site) but also provide some tips and tricks on helping scholars score. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT DMS!! </editorsnote>

Midterms are over which means students can finally get back to studying for the real semester-test: how to court their campus crush. 

Lucky for them, the collegiate online dating platform, datemyschool announces the release of their 2012 Dating Guide, featuring their top ten dating tips to help singles cram for romance in a heartbeat:

1. Date efficiently. If you're too busy typing up notes in the library but hoping to score a date fast, then sign up for datemyschool. It's free for students and many of our users land dates within 30 minutes. 

2. Commit to your needs first. If you're looking for a relationship, then hooking up with that emotionally unavailable flirt from your dorm may not fulfill your romantic desires… 

3. In fact, try not to date someone from your dorm. The convenience is awesome until you're ditched for your neighbor.

4. But do date in your budget. It's cool, lots of students are broke! Take advantage of any free food on campus, snag the snacks and prepare a picnic near the quad.

5. And go easy on the booze. Beating your boo at beer pong is super fun, but puking all over the person? Eh, not so much. 

6.  Oh, and perhaps take a shower? You're beautiful, but since you may or may not have been wearing those jeans for the past seven days and don’t really plan on doing laundry for another three weeks, then at least wash your hair.

7. Manage your time. If you’re hoping to hang out with that hottie, but have yet to start on your 20-page paper due tomorrow, then bust out your 50’s grooves and compromise with a study date.

8. Date outside your department or even your college to branch out of your social circle and expand your intellectual horizons. On datemyschool, users filter through schools, departments, age range, and other groups to discover new people.

9. Date effectively. If you're sick of hearing the misguided preconception that "it's so easy to meet people in college" (especially when you have yet to meet someone), then try an effective approach to dating: datemyschool is responsible for more than 50% of the dates at campuses, including Columbia University and NYU.

10. But most of all, date safely: if you're considering online dating, join a site that you can trust: datemyschool verifies every user (students must register with their .edu email addresses), protects against fake profiles, and provides its members with total control over who can and cannot see them on the site.

#nerdsunite

About datemyschool:

Winner of About.com's 2012 Readers' Choice Awards for Best College Dating Site, datemyschool is the largest online dating platform for students and alumni nationwide, and has received accolades for its safety and privacy features. 

Columbia University MBA classmates, Balazs Alexa and Jean Meyer, co-founded datemyschool in November 2010 to help students and alumni safely and easily discover new people across departments and nearby campuses. 

Datemyschool is:

• Anonymous: Members may restrict schools, departments, and individuals from accessing their profiles, and they cannot be searched on Google
• Safe: Members are all verified and given extensive privacy control
• Exclusive: Only verified students and alumni may join

Fun with #OkCupid: Keepin it real

Looky looky the email I just got on OKC ...

Well ... for one, I never ever ever name names. Like ever ever ever ever ever - its not my style. I just broadcast my feelings and emotions - so at all times, the identity of the gentlemen are perfectly secured. Unless of course they checkin on Foursquare with me at the same venue, and then you're just asking for it ... but that is up to them.

I have certainly asked for guys to review my dates and had two of them be totally kosher with it!

Read:

date one here ... 

and

date two ...

I'm not on this high horse where I think my opinion is the be all and end all when it comes to dating - I'm just a conversation starter. Lifecasting is my art ... I dig it, a LOT! These are my experiences, first hand, documented in real time. Don't agree! Awesome! It's all my humble opinion - I always offer my email addy to have you send me a post.

This site isn't about ripping guys apart either, that's why I enlisted the help of LA's premiere dating coaches, the guys from The Art of Charm.

Here's a vid Jordan did for us when I had a guy that I dated friend one of my good good friends without asking ...

So yeah! I get it ... I don't want to tear dudes apart, just be BRUTALLY honest in my experiences and provide a lesson and potentially some insight into the female mind - in real time.

And what do you mean I don't need OKC? I love love love OKC! It has nothing to do with "resorting" to something, and more to do with a shared interest. I love the internet, and I am a huge fucking nerd. I am more likely than not going to meet a guy online that I like because I just spend WAY more time on here than I do bars.

So, let's cut out the bullshit and just keep it real. I would love one day for some dude somewhere to sweep me off my feet. What woman doesn't want that? I'm putting myself out there like everyone else in the world is - I just have a bit of a more public forum.

Either way, thanks for reaching out el duderino! Appreciate it!

Live in LA and wanna date me? Send me a message here on OKC. Just be forewarned, I am very very very sexually frustrated. GRRRRRR!!! =)

xoxo #nerdsunite

Update: #Dammit: I met someone ...

SOOO ... I posted this blessed little post not that long ago ... and there is an update ... the lawyer and I are totally not going anywhere. At least not together in any fashion ... *sad face*

Few things.

1. I live life with no expectations. It keeps me sane ... so you have to understand, this post is more for your benefit. I really don't dig that happily ever after bullshit. Sorry, but really true. I am my own happily ever after. Through and through.

2. I am grateful to even have experienced those kind of feelings for anyone again. See, last year I had my heart broken. (See post here) It was bad.

Like crazy bad. Like so crazy bad I started this website from it. It's kosher though, you have no idea the joy I receive now after dating someone who was definitely a quasi celeb, but thought I was a little out of my head when it came to my beliefs in social media and where all of it was going. If we were still dating I wouldn't have this site, so I would have just been doing this for him. Now who's laughing ... suckkkkaaaaaaaaa!!! My twitter account got verified before yours did!! Nah ne nah ne poopy!!

Anywho, back to the gratitude. I am just grateful that I ALLOWED myself emotionally to get to that level with anyone again. Which is huge!

I have massive intimacy issues. Hilarious considering I lead my life like an open book. But that just comes down to more of having nothing to lose. I do what I do because I am marketing something I believe in. It's more of a greater good thing than anything else ... but all kidding aside, I have massive intimacy issues. I just read people too well. If I can figure you out, I lose interest. I am also not a cuddler. I don't like being touched by someone unless I am crushing on them. Again, hilarious to have these issues yet have no problems with nudity or nearly getting it on multiple times in the Grotto at the Playboy Mansion. Go suck on that Freud.

Either way, Yay OkCupid for being so dead on with those personality profiles. Our dogs even had the same name - and it wasn't just the name Rocky ... we both called him "Rocky Balboa." Very weird. He's an awesome awesome awesome dude, I'm just not feeling the same vibe from him anymore. There was nothing cataclysmic that happened, it's just not there anymore. Sucks, but it happens.

I am reminded almost daily by people who's advice is unsolicited that the package that I have is much more appealing if I am single. I'd have to agree, but you have to understand that I am a lifecaster. I really don't give a flying fuck what you think. This is my art. I tell stories in real time across social media, and then post about it later.

I can't lie about my experience in any capacity or it defeats the ENTIRE purpose of the social experiment as a whole. I use a lot of "I" statements, and preface a lot of things with IMHO ... but this is my thing. It's pretty cool, and I do it well ... so sod off mate.

I honestly though knew I shouldn't have posted on him that early on into meeting him, as I knew it would be bad news ... but I didn't really care. I felt what I felt when I felt it. I won't apologize for it, and if it messed things up with him in any anything, then it wasn't meant to be to begin with. I'm only getting started. I don't plan on stopping any time soon ... so if a guy comes into my life how can I NOT post about it!?!? BAHHHHH!!! But again, I'm learning ... I'm learning ... I'm confident I'll figure it out.

I just get SOOO frustrated that I can get along with literally SOO many personalities, for reals - I am like a freak of nature in being able to relate to people ... but its not very often that I actually like someone. Happened twice in the last year. That's it. I've traveled the entire country, and talked to THOUSANDSSSSS of people ... went out on WHO KNOOWWSSSS how many dates .... and two. That's it. Just two.

Again though, 2011 is going to be hands down the BEST year of my life. Nerd is the new rockstar - I stay very busy. I can say that as humbly and just whatever as possible ... the first quarter alone is going to be insane. Are you kidding me? The Hollywood god wants the pilot in front of the network by spring time - that ALONNEEE is enough to make someone's life. *waves* Hello, dream come true! YES PLEASE!!  Dude, there is so much going on with this site right now it makes my head spin. The world is awesome right now in abundance of wanting all things nerd. SUPER SUPER SUPPERR GRATEFUL!!! 

So yeah ... there you go. Dude, totally didn't mean to make him a big deal. You guys are hilarious! Everytime I hung out with someone IRL it was "so where's this guy ... read the post, when can I meet him ... " It is weird though, I was looking to be of service, and I got what I was looking for by helping him in the hospital.

Life, you're a funny one. Yes ... yes you! You're awwffulllyyyy funny!!

Remember nerds, not everything in life is meant to last a lifetime. Just be. Experience the joy with someone in the present moment magic, then let it go. No anger, no hate, no nothing ... free love baby! Keeps you sane. I promise. Now, back to hustling ...

xoxoxo #NerdsUnite

PS. W2G for the best sex I've ever had. No joke, that was like ... wait, I don't even know what that was. But it was awesome. And the best. And there you go ... feel free to refer to this post to new mates. I will def give you 2 thumbs way up! YUM YUM THX for making me cum! =)