Update: #Dammit: I met someone ...
Sunday, November 28, 2010 at 11:26PM
SOOO ... I posted this blessed little post not that long ago ... and there is an update ... the lawyer and I are totally not going anywhere. At least not together in any fashion ... *sad face*
Few things.
1. I live life with no expectations. It keeps me sane ... so you have to understand, this post is more for your benefit. I really don't dig that happily ever after bullshit. Sorry, but really true. I am my own happily ever after. Through and through.
2. I am grateful to even have experienced those kind of feelings for anyone again. See, last year I had my heart broken. (See post here) It was bad.
Like crazy bad. Like so crazy bad I started this website from it. It's kosher though, you have no idea the joy I receive now after dating someone who was definitely a quasi celeb, but thought I was a little out of my head when it came to my beliefs in social media and where all of it was going. If we were still dating I wouldn't have this site, so I would have just been doing this for him. Now who's laughing ... suckkkkaaaaaaaaa!!! My twitter account got verified before yours did!! Nah ne nah ne poopy!!
Anywho, back to the gratitude. I am just grateful that I ALLOWED myself emotionally to get to that level with anyone again. Which is huge!
I have massive intimacy issues. Hilarious considering I lead my life like an open book. But that just comes down to more of having nothing to lose. I do what I do because I am marketing something I believe in. It's more of a greater good thing than anything else ... but all kidding aside, I have massive intimacy issues. I just read people too well. If I can figure you out, I lose interest. I am also not a cuddler. I don't like being touched by someone unless I am crushing on them. Again, hilarious to have these issues yet have no problems with nudity or nearly getting it on multiple times in the Grotto at the Playboy Mansion. Go suck on that Freud.
Either way, Yay OkCupid for being so dead on with those personality profiles. Our dogs even had the same name - and it wasn't just the name Rocky ... we both called him "Rocky Balboa." Very weird. He's an awesome awesome awesome dude, I'm just not feeling the same vibe from him anymore. There was nothing cataclysmic that happened, it's just not there anymore. Sucks, but it happens.
I am reminded almost daily by people who's advice is unsolicited that the package that I have is much more appealing if I am single. I'd have to agree, but you have to understand that I am a lifecaster. I really don't give a flying fuck what you think. This is my art. I tell stories in real time across social media, and then post about it later.
I can't lie about my experience in any capacity or it defeats the ENTIRE purpose of the social experiment as a whole. I use a lot of "I" statements, and preface a lot of things with IMHO ... but this is my thing. It's pretty cool, and I do it well ... so sod off mate.
I honestly though knew I shouldn't have posted on him that early on into meeting him, as I knew it would be bad news ... but I didn't really care. I felt what I felt when I felt it. I won't apologize for it, and if it messed things up with him in any anything, then it wasn't meant to be to begin with. I'm only getting started. I don't plan on stopping any time soon ... so if a guy comes into my life how can I NOT post about it!?!? BAHHHHH!!! But again, I'm learning ... I'm learning ... I'm confident I'll figure it out.
I just get SOOO frustrated that I can get along with literally SOO many personalities, for reals - I am like a freak of nature in being able to relate to people ... but its not very often that I actually like someone. Happened twice in the last year. That's it. I've traveled the entire country, and talked to THOUSANDSSSSS of people ... went out on WHO KNOOWWSSSS how many dates .... and two. That's it. Just two.
Again though, 2011 is going to be hands down the BEST year of my life. Nerd is the new rockstar - I stay very busy. I can say that as humbly and just whatever as possible ... the first quarter alone is going to be insane. Are you kidding me? The Hollywood god wants the pilot in front of the network by spring time - that ALONNEEE is enough to make someone's life. *waves* Hello, dream come true! YES PLEASE!! Dude, there is so much going on with this site right now it makes my head spin. The world is awesome right now in abundance of wanting all things nerd. SUPER SUPER SUPPERR GRATEFUL!!!
So yeah ... there you go. Dude, totally didn't mean to make him a big deal. You guys are hilarious! Everytime I hung out with someone IRL it was "so where's this guy ... read the post, when can I meet him ... " It is weird though, I was looking to be of service, and I got what I was looking for by helping him in the hospital.
Life, you're a funny one. Yes ... yes you! You're awwffulllyyyy funny!!
Remember nerds, not everything in life is meant to last a lifetime. Just be. Experience the joy with someone in the present moment magic, then let it go. No anger, no hate, no nothing ... free love baby! Keeps you sane. I promise. Now, back to hustling ...
xoxoxo #NerdsUnite
PS. W2G for the best sex I've ever had. No joke, that was like ... wait, I don't even know what that was. But it was awesome. And the best. And there you go ... feel free to refer to this post to new mates. I will def give you 2 thumbs way up! YUM YUM THX for making me cum! =)
