#NerdsUnite: Confessions of a videogame journalist (Dating a Gamer)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy John. We started talking on the twitter not too long ago, and then he reached out and asked if he could write for us regarding his journey through the nerdy realm. I was all DUDDEEE!! That's so raaaddd!! And now, here we are. Like right now, in real time, this is happening. Pretty cool huh? HIT IT JOHN!!! </editorsnote> 

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JohnSollitto

I’m going to talk about something I haven’t talked about since I’ve been writing for this site: relationships. I know, I know, everybody calm down. I’ve made it a point to keep my dating life and relationships out of the site just because I’m just not that comfortable putting it out there for everyone to see. I’m not saying anybody who does that is weird; it’s just not something I do. But today, I talk about a male gamer nerd’s perspective about something so ladies if you’re looking to date a male gamer nerd, take notes. Guys you should too because these things apply to female gamers nerds too.

Alright, so to start us off something you need to be comfortable with if dating a gamer is hearing about games. People don’t really realize this but when you date someone with a passion, be it music or sculpting or freaking canoe building; you better buckle up to hear a lot about it. So for gamers, you’re going to hear about games, characters, cutscenes, bad movie adaptations and gaming news. That’s just what’s going to happen; you have to come to peace with that. If you could care less about what is happening to Desmond Miles in the “Assassin’s Creed” series in the gaming world and you’re dating someone who won’t shut up about it? You either have to build up an appreciation for it, enough to tolerate hearing about good old Desmond, or just learn to tolerate it and let them have their fun. Chances are if you’re into sports or something and they aren’t, they have to do the same thing for you. If they won’t? They’re not worth your time. And if you don’t? You aren’t worth their time. That’s true for any relationship.

Now, socially, gamers come in different flavors. There’s your classic gamer shut-in who does nothing but stay inside and play games. The social gamer who plays online with other people and has some interpersonal communication skills. My favorite, the open gamer, who is capable of playing for four hours straight and then going out for drinks or a movie or dinner at the drop of a hat. And then casual gamer who plays games for a few hours but really doesn’t take it seriously and has it more as just a time waster. Of course there will be in-betweens and mixes of flavors but really those are your major types.

The shut-ins will take a lot of work on your part to get to open up because they enjoy being in their worlds more than this one. Sometimes I feel the same way with all the crap going on outside of my living room. If you’re okay with not seeing your significant other for hours at a time and or not doing a lot and not going out a whole bunch, you have found your winner. Just be warned that they may be complete opposites on the emotional spectrum when with you. They may not have had a lot of relationships in the past so they may be shy or cautious all the time, or extremely attached. It’s a crap-shoot so be prepared for that and know that you’ll have to work to get close to them at times. They can be extremely passionate about what they play too so if you engage them about their games you might have to sit through an hour long explanation before the conversation gets going as they gush about their favorite this or that.

The social gamer who is very big in online gaming is a fun one. These people will tend to have a lot of friends or people they play with online and play with them frequently. You’ll hear the terms “PvP,” multiplayer, raid, clan, and guild a lot. These are just their terms for what they’re doing tonight. By the way, “PvP” means “player vs. player.” Raids are missions they’ll do with their friends in their clan or guild. Get the gist? Okay, now these people are probably more social than the shut-ins and can communicate better, but they’ll probably be less interested in going out as much because all of their friends are online or not nearby. That is their social time. Don’t expect to meet their guild buddies at a bar for drinks, and often times you may have to schedule around their playtime. If that’s too much work for you, I don’t know what to tell you. Oh, and these people have the potential to be extremely competitive. Heads up for that. They may understands sports and competition more though so if you’re into that you may have some luck with a social gamer.

I like to think of myself as an open gamer. Some of the best days I’ve ever had were playing a game for hours and then getting up to go out to a bar with the Talk Nerdy crew or grab some dinner with my comic book friends. Open gamers tend to be very passionate about games, but also able to turn it on and off enough to do other things. They can be competitive like the social gamers, but more for the fun of playing with others than to be the best of the best of the best. They can also be just as passionate as the shut-ins too. These gamers also tend to play for long periods of time, but after that they’re good. It’s like recharging their batteries and getting their daily dose in before they do anything else. So for open gamers, know that you’ll have to let them have their time, but trust that they’ll go out later after they feel they’re done. They may have days where all they want to do is play. And then they may have days where they don’t play at all. It’s just a mood thing. Just talk with them and make sure you’re on the same wavelength about it and if it doesn’t bother you, then you’re set.

Casual gamers are everywhere and probably the best to date if you’re unfamiliar with gaming at all. These people are into gaming on a minimal level, maybe playing a couple of games here and there because they find them fun but are not overly invested in them. They can play for a half an hour while waiting for you to get ready but as soon as you are they’ll shut the system off and roll out. To them, gaming might be more of a hobby than a passion, and if you’re not sure dating a gamer is for you, then you’ll be okay with a casual gamer.

Yuuuuup. This happened.Now, what if they ask you to play with them? This is a big deal for some people as they don’t want to look stupid or are just not into it enough to even pick up a controller. If your partner asks you to play a game with them, watch them play or just be around them while they play it’s a good sign. What this really means is, “Hey, I want to share my passion with you and I’d like you to be a part of my time while I do this.” That’d be like someone saying, “Hey, wanna come with me to this basketball game?” They want you to be more a part of their life. Conversely, if they’re constantly playing games and ignoring you? That may be cause for concern. Don’t pressure them and be all like, “Why don’t you pay attention to me while you play?” Some people are just in the zone and don’t like to be distracted. What if someone came up and tried talking to you while you were painting or doing yoga? Wouldn’t that be distracting? But if they aren’t doing it because they’re in the zone and are doing it to avoid you, then you need to have a serious talk. If that’s their de-stressing time, then you may need to respect that. But if they are playing games to have time away from you…there might be a problem. Just classify the reason and make sure they’re still into you and it isn’t anything personal.

Alright, I think that about covers it. If you have more questions or you want me to expand on this at all or if there are general questions about gaming that people want answered, then you can tweet me or comment here and I’ll do my best to deliver for the next article. Live long and prosper and may the Force be with you my young Padawans.

#nerdsunite

Want more from John? Click here to follow him on the twitter!

Check out his gaming site too!

#Nerdsunite: Confessions of a Videogame Journalist (Back from the Grave)

 <editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy John. We started talking on the twitter not too long ago, and then he reached out and asked if he could write for us regarding his journey through the nerdy realm. I was all DUDDEEE!! That's so raaaddd!! And now, here we are. Like right now, in real time, this is happening. Pretty cool huh? HIT IT JOHN!!! </editorsnote> 

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JohnSollitto

Some of you may be wondering why you haven’t heard from me in a while. Others of you could probably care less, I’m sure some of you haven’t even read this blog. I have been through a number of different things over the past few month or so that have kept me from posting but still working for the site in a background capacity. Think of me like the Wizard of Oz behind the curtain at this point. Though, not nearly as important and cool.

I will talk about each of them in turn and I’m sure this will be the longest post that I will ever write here, unless something equally traumatic happens or worse and a bunch of other stuff piles on top of it in some sort of perverse way. But in any case:

I have literally been waiting for the perfect time to use that clip and now it has come. Excuse me while I laugh a little after all the madness.

My house flooded. Yeah. That toooootally happened. Let me set the scene for you.

So my family is moving their sign shop to a different location in Irvine, some 30 minutes away from Huntington Beach. That involves a lot packing, shipping, car trips, me lifting things and general nonsense with cable and security and internet at the new joint.

We have a lot of stuff in the sign shop from all the material we use to the giant 54 inch printer and cutter,  to tables and freaking tools. It’s just a mess. If my father wasn’t an organized person this place would be a death trap.

While this is happening, my mother is also moving her classroom to another school since her school is going to be under renovation. That requires me to do a lot of driving, lifting things, moving things and whatnot. Two different moves going on. No big deal right, those are under control.

So the first day of work this week my favorite co-worker comes back to work after having moved with his wife to stay with her as she followed her career. We’re just so happy to have him back because he’s so good at what he does, he works well with us, and he’s just awesome.

The day’s going good, I get sent home to just chill. I’m pulling up to the sidewalk in front of my house and I notice there’s water on the driveway. I’m thinking, “It’s the afternoon, the sprinklers wouldn’t come on...” I get to the front door, ready to turn off the alarm, start my workout and play some guitar, when I hear a hissing as it opens.

Quickly rushing into the house I set foot in a SOAKING wet dining room. I then run to the downstairs bathroom where the pipe for the tank of the toilet has burst and is just spraying willy-nilly about in the bathroom like some sort of metal cobra spitting venom at indiscriminate objects. This must have been going on for some time because my parent’s room? Flooded. That bathroom? One inch of water all over the place. The garage? Also flooded. Kitchen? Fuggetaboutit. Flooded. The only room not affected was the living room as it’s elevated about 6 inches or so above the dining room by a step. Oh but don’t worry, that started to get wet too as the water creeped up the carpet and soaked it too.

I’m home alone, the house is flooded and what do I do? I lose it. I don’t think I’ve ever just shouted obscenities at the top of my lungs like that with the front door open. I just didn’t know what to do. I called both my parents and told them to get home right away, opened all the windows to start drying the place out, tried sweeping water out of the garage and then just sat on the floor staring at the water.

I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t think of anything. Eventually my parents got home and we began taking things off the floor that were wet. Some books were damaged, shoes, wooden furniture too. It was bad.

I was sent out to get dinner and honestly I got to the parking lot and had to just sit there for a while and let out my frustration. I just stared at the sky and turned up my music. P.S. thank God for the Chulahoma album by the Black Keys, saved my life. If you haven’t listened to that album you should. I highly recommend it.

Then we had a guy come and check everything out and he said they might have to get into the walls because of the asbestos that was probably in them since the house was built so many years ago that it would most likely have it in there. Great, that means the whole kitchen would have to be redone and the floors and some of the walls and all repainted.

Next day they came, guys with a big ass truck all ready to pack up what could be salvaged and what they were going to try and save and everything in between and put it away. I’ve never moved before, sure gone off to college, but never moved and seeing my life and my family’s put into boxes so that the house could be emptied was unnerving.

Fast forward to through some bullcrap with the insurance company rep stalling and thinking we’re trying to cheat him out of money and keeping the contractors from working on the house and two mini-vacations for me later, the house is still under repair. The entire first floor has concrete flooring and there’s a good foot to two feet of drywall just ripped open from the dining room to my parents’ room so I can see basically the entire house if I lay on the floor.

It’s...it’s pretty horrible. All three of us have gotten sick from the dust and crap in the air, it’s cold, and depressing. My family is remarkably strong to have dealt with this so well, but there have been times when we’ve all had to let it out.

In between all of that, I went to the Bay Area for a while to visit someone I met at E3 and her roommate. That was...remarkable. I hadn’t relaxed like that in a long time and I owe it all to her and her roomie. They’re saints.

The reason for the visit is that I might be getting a job out that way very soon and I wanted to check the area out if I’d like it. I do. It’s beautiful and there’s lots of green which I’m not used to out in a beach town, but I liked it a lot and I’m excited at the prospect of actually working out there. I’m already cultivating a lot of leads and saving up to move there soon. At the latest after I finish my last semester at Cal State Fullerton.

And then Comic Con happened. Now, I’ve been going to SDCC for 12 years, back when I was a wee lad and before the Great War when there were pushcarts and none of this Google-stuffs. No, I kid, but seriously a long time ago. I remember when Con was really small and you could just walk in and see the whole floor in one day and then relax for the rest of it all and just go to panels and all manner of things.

Now it’s a little bit of a circus but it’s dying down from that as I think studios and such are realizing that Con just isn’t the gold mine they thought it would be. I’m kind of glad because that means there’s just going to be more comic people there and nerds rather than people who are there just to see freaking Twilight.

But, this was my first SDCC where I got to hang with friends and here’s a picture of me with some of the Talk Nerdy Ladies. You may recognize some of them.

Aren’t we a cute bunch? Shit got real after that. We went to bars, we drank, we danced, I’m pretty sure Julie killed a guy and Jen lit a car on fire but other than that it was pretty normal. In all seriousness it was a load of fun and I’m so thankful for the ladies letting me tag along and not letting it be a “ladies only” type of thing. It made me feel good to be a part of the group, not that I’ve never not been, but it was nice to have friends this time as opposed to just hanging with my folks.

So in short: I’m alive. My house flooded. I might be moving to the Silicon Valley. I might have a job. I had a LOAD of fun at Comic Con. And I’ll probably write more about that all in detail.

Okay, I’ll stop writing now.

#nerdsunite

Want more from John? Click here to follow him on the twitter!

Check out his gaming site too!

#Nerdsunite: Confessions of a Videogame Journalist

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy John. We started talking on the twitter not too long ago, and then he reached out and asked if he could write for us regarding his journey through the nerdy realm. I was all DUDDEEE!! That's so raaaddd!! And now, here we are. Like right now, in real time, this is happening. Pretty cool huh? HIT IT JOHN!!! </editorsnote> 

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JohnSollitto

Wow, what a crazy couple of weeks, right? I won’t talk about E3 so much but I will direct you to my site where you can see all the awesome stuff that my team has worked on! Let me just say that it was successful all around and absolutely a blast. I got to do some AWESOME stuff and feel what it’s like to finally be a professional, met some awesome people and even got to interview my hero in the industry, Adam Sessler! It was fantastic.

HOWEVER, not all was candy and roses. One of the most controversial things to happen at E3 was the backlash from the Tomb Raider game demo. Lara Croft was assaulted, physically and sexually in the, whom she promptly blows the head off of. I mean she takes a pistol to this guy’s forehead and knocks his skull open. Boom.

Now, in the demo, Lara is not raped, but she is indeed close to being raped and many people were upset about this. Rightly so, that’s a little intense for a video game, especially when it’s your character almost being raped. It was a little unsettling. I was surprised at the amount of times rape was bandied about in L.A. Noir but that’s a cop game and honestly that happens a lot so they went for realism and delivered.

Players and fans were upset because they felt it turned Lara into a hardened adventurer into a helpless girl. The aim was to make Lara someone you wanted to protect but they ended up alienating and offending a lot more people.

After E3 there was also some talk of eliminating the “booth babes.” I’m honestly not sure where the article was or where I saw it but I think it was somewhere on Twitter. Regardless, the idea behind doing this was to change the mentality behind E3. Instead of trying to use sex to sell games, some believe that the games themselves should be the main focus. Obviously, right? Also, it’s very male-centric to thinking that only men go to E3 and “booth babes” are all they need to get them interested in their product. When now more than like 40% of the market is female, obviously it would be better to make the expo less misogynistic.

Let’s take a look at girls who are “slutshamed” or badgered for just being women in the gaming world. How effed up is that? I mean, it’s so terrible to believe that only men can enjoy gaming and that a woman is lying if she has any interest in gaming. Honestly, this is why gamers are looked down on as narrow-minded fools.

The amount of women I’ve met who play games is rather large, and not just play but enjoy and are enthusiastic about gaming. I mean, if you were at E3 this year, good gosh there were so many people there of all races and gender it was amazing! It was so heartwarming to see that. I mean, look at how many women actually work in the industry and make games!

What with female characters in games so overly voluptuous and sexy and the male characters so manly and ripped, it’s no wonder that the community grew up the way it did. I’m ashamed to say that it makes sense. But this is a new time and a new generation. Games are better graphically and plot-wise. Sometimes they’re even better games. But looking around, games are still carrying the same social messages and stigmas. Only recently have they been showing same-gender relationships that aren’t hot girl-on-girl porn. I think it’s time to equally represent men and women in games and in the gaming community so that we can advance as a culture.

I’m not saying that if games and gaming society suddenly changed that society would drastically as well, but I definitely think that a lot of people would think differently and it would be a step in the right direction.

#nerdsunite

Want more from John? Click here to follow him on the twitter!

#Nerdsunite: Confessions of a Videogame Journalist (Being a professional and conquering a fear)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy John. We started talking on the twitter not too long ago, and then he reached out and asked if he could write for us regarding his journey through the nerdy realm. I was all DUDDEEE!! That's so raaaddd!! And now, here we are. Like right now, in real time, this is happening. Pretty cool huh? HIT IT JOHN!!! </editorsnote> 

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JohnSollitto

So! Things are picking up! Couple of new experiences in the last couple of weeks, even DURING that last update I wrote.

Because I’ve been invited to E3, again thanks to Jen <3, I’ve been getting emails and all sorts of press releases. It’s CRAZY. I mean, half of my emails are all just news and invitations and all sorts of stuff.

It’s a little overwhelming actually. Being so professional all of the sudden, being in charge of my team from the Game Creators Vault. My team actually had the best idea ever of working with some of the indie developers. I’m really happy my partners are really reliable and creative guys.

Speaking of things I’ve been receiving, I got this awesome update from Sony Online Entertainment! Not sure if you’re familiar with online games but there’s a big one out called the “DC Universe Online.” You get to create a superhero in the DC Universe and fight alongside Superman, Wonder Woman and even Batman.

The game recently went free-to-play so if you don’t want to pay per-month, you can play the game after you buy it! You’ll have to buy certain pieces of content though if you go free-to-play, like the new update coming out called The Last Laugh! They’ve got a bunch of voice actors coming back like Mark Hamill doing the Joker, Arleen Sorkin doing Harley Quinn and Adam Baldwin doing Superman! It’s pretty awesome. Lots of new missions and even a new tool to use! I played the game when I was at G4 and honestly it’s a well put together game, and now that it’s free-to-play it might be well worth a look!

On a personal level, I conquered a personal fear about two weeks ago. I didn’t write about it in my last blog partially because I didn’t really realize it until the weekend afterwards. I conquered the fear while working on an installation down in Seal Beach, California.

We were installing two large sandblasted wooden signs on the roof of a new restaurant/bar that’s literally across the street from the beach. Seriously, he’s a picture from the top of the building.

It was a really beautiful day that day. Now, the story of how I got on that roof is where the conquering comes in. So, this building was about thirty or so feet tall. The height of a normal restaurant/bar, it was single story too so not that high. Now, one of my big fears is heights. I can go up to high places. I’ve been to the top of the Empire State building and Eiffel Tower, but I can’t go to the upper deck of the Honda Center for a Ducks game because there isn’t a lot between you and falling to the lower decks aside from a small railing. I’m not a fan of high places that don’t have a lot of safety measures to keep me from falling to my death. Call me old fashioned.

So to get on the top of the place, I had to go to the back and find that ladder to the roof. Now, in the sign business you climb a lot of ladders and I’ve been pretty good about it, mainly because the roof access ladders are encased in a metal cage to ensure that you don’t fall down and kill yourself. But this building has recently come under new management and at the time we were installing, they hadn’t gotten their cage or ladder installed yet. They still had to get to the roof though, so they put a painters ladder underneath a extension ladder bolted to the building. This ladder was tied together with a bungie cord so that it wouldn’t extend while you were on it. So a regular ladder wedged underneath a jury-rigged ladder to the top of the roof. MacGyver would be proud.

The first time I went up this ladder I had to go rung by rung because I could literally feel the ladder giving way, trying to extend as I climbed up it. I was freaking out. My dad just kept saying, “Don’t look down, don’t lean back, and go slow okay?” I did exactly what he said but my hands were so sweaty I was afraid I would fall off just based off on sheer bodily functions.

But I did it. I was happy, I was soooooo glad to be on top of that building you had no idea. But…then I had to go down. That was even worse, because now I was looking down and now I was seeing how high off the ground I was. I could still feel the ladder budging and clattering on me and I could hardly take it.

I had to go up and down that ladder 7 times that day. By the 6^th time? I was going up and down slowly and steadily without worry. It was a freaking miracle. We had to go back there this week and sure enough I had to go back up that ladder system, but this time I was eager to do it. To prove to myself that I wasn’t afraid. And I wasn’t.

I felt so happy to be rid of that fear. Sure, it’s not the Honda Center, but it’s a start and I’m looking forward to conquering the rest of it. Conquer your fears, nerds!

#nerdsunite

#NerdsUnite: Confessions of a videogame journalist

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy John. We started talking on the twitter not too long ago, and then he reached out and asked if he could write for us regarding his journey through the nerdy realm. I was all DUDDEEE!! That's so raaaddd!! And now, here we are. Like right now, in real time, this is happening. Pretty cool huh? HIT IT JOHN!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JohnSollitto

Oh hey folks! I’m alive! Yeah, I know I haven’t been gone that long, but really I disappeared for 60-years into an alternate dimension and became their king and now I’m back. Kind of like Narnia, or John Carter of Mars…or Klaus the fish from that one American Dad episode. ANYWAY!

It’s been CRAZY busy for me over the last few weeks what with all the work I’m doing and finals finishing up at school. I’m in this weird sort of transitional period so bear with me, we’re going to talk about a few different aspects of my life that are new and exciting.

FIRST: Academically, I believe I had the last actual classroom class of my life during finals, and the last school test I will ever take. That didn’t hit me till I was in the parking structure at CSUF and I kind of freaked out a little bit. I finished classes in THREE YEARS. That’s it, three. That could either mean I have had no life for the last three years and I need to get out more, or that I’m a freaking machine. No, there is no gray area. NONE. But I digress. This is a crazy time now and I’m already looking at freelance and permanent positions to get some work going.

SECOND: Work stuffs. The sign shop my family operates is moving soon to Irvine which is kind of dope because the location will be bigger and apparently having an Irvine address makes you cool? I dunno. Realtors are weird. I’m just happy we’ll have more room and my dad said we can still film stuff for the Vault there which is awesome since we might have an actual room devoted just to that.

Speaking of the Vault, we just published a HUGE article recently that got us SOOOOOOO many hits on our website I almost cried. It was amazing. It’s located here and it’s an interview with a really big industry person and I just want to thank Brian Fargo for taking the time to talk with me and give me such a great interview. He’s awesome.

Internships are always fun and I’m going to apply again at G4 and several other places, and I’m doing more work for Jen here so I’m definitely keeping busy, but I just sent my resume and a cover letter in to Playboy for a paid internship there doing fact checking and research for the editorial team. That’s a little intense and if I get the gig…I’m not sure what I will do but that will be pretty awesome.

THIRD: E3 is just around the corner and by just around the corner I mean seriously like 2 weeks away and I’m freaking out. Honestly. I’m scheduling stuff for Talk Nerdy/the Vault and it’s going to be nuts. My team might be live posting/tweeting/shooting from there so expect to hear about all the cool stuffs. I’m not sure if I should do one BIG post for Talk Nerdy or several posts, one per day. What do you want? Let me know at my Twitter account @JohnSollitto and I’ll do my best to deliver.

Some of you might remember my article talking about how E3 only lets in major outlets that get 10,000 hits a month, and it just so happens that Jen was kind enough to allow my team to apply through Talk Nerdy and we’re all able to get it. I just want to thank Jen again for this opportunity. It’s helping us more than you know. Love ya boss.

Sooooo yeah. That’s all been in the span of, like, 2 weeks? Yeah. I think that’s right, two weeks. Apparently being this busy means that I’m not available to hang out with people, which is a lie, because I’ve recently started hanging out with a couple of friends from my local comic shop and I want to reconnect with several of my school friends during the summer. I’m really trying to be more social, but if some of this stuff you see above goes through, then I might be busier than ever but working at Playboy. Hah, yeah. That’ll be fun. I’m not going to count on it but I’d be thrilled if that went through. Man, I’d need to dress NICE for that gig.

OH! And I’m working on a super-secret awesome comic book project for myself that’s pretty dope. It’s not affiliated with any company, but it’s an academic sort of work that I’m putting my own personal time into. I’m really excited about it. And I might be futzing about with some friends doing some voice over stuff soon too.

Someone stop me…seriously. Ah screw it, I’m havin’ fun. What’s better than that?

And before I go, a poem for Derek, or @DerekJ_AllDay here on the site who does all our sports stuff. He did a poem in his last article and I am rising to the challenge:

Fighting dragons I'm a silicon knight,

All day long and throughout the night.

Treasure hunting, monster slaying, an all-around badass,

They never taught any of this in university class.

It's not Shakespeare. Sue me.

#nerdsunite

Want more from John? Click here to follow him on the twitter!