#NerdsUnite: Confessions of a Videogame Journalist (Mobile Gaming)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy John. We started talking on the twitter not too long ago, and then he reached out and asked if he could write for us regarding his journey through the nerdy realm. I was all DUDDEEE!! That's so raaaddd!! And now, here we are. Like right now, in real time, this is happening. Pretty cool huh? HIT IT JOHN!!! </editorsnote> 

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JohnSollitto

So, I’ve been doing some very interesting work since I’ve graduated school.

I’ve got numerous things going on, some of which I can’t talk about, but one thing I’ve been working on has been a site called Game Mob that is going to focus solely on mobile gaming.

Now, I’ve been vocal about mobile gaming in the past. Maybe not on this site in particular, but to my friends and colleagues I’ve mentioned that I didn’t particularly like it. However, starting to work on content for this site has actually changed my tune quite a lot.

Perusing the mobile gaming market in the last month or so has exposed me to a TON of mobile games that are both fun and creative. They’ve definitely changed my opinion from thinking that the world was full of Angry Birds and Words with Friends.

Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of time wasters like that out there, but for every one of those there are a dozen good games that are undiscovered and passed-over.

Take for example the game Life is Magic. Not a fantastic game, but boy oh boy was I addicted to it for a couple of weeks hardcore. My girlfriend and I spent hours playing that game together and fighting monsters.

What was really unique about it, at least to me, was that the game map changed depending on where you were geographically at the time. It tapped into Google maps or the GPS of your phone and found out where you were in the world, and spawned little dungeons and caves around you to fight. Not only that, but you could visit the magical and medieval version of Starbucks or Sports Chalet to get quests or buy upgrades.

That little thing was just enough to make me smile and giggle a little bit when I started playing each day.

Then there was the game Vector for which I recently wrote the script of a video review. You all know free-running and parkour right? All that crazy stuff that was in the Daniel Craig James Bond movie? Well this game has that in it and you just run from bad guys while free-running. It’s awesome!

Now some of these games you have to pay for and some of them you don’t. I can’t get mad at that. I really can’t. These are small teams or companies pumping out games to keep the lights on to make more games just like this so that they can save up enough to make a bigger game. At least some of them are. But what I can’t abide is the blatant money squeezing of some of the bigger companies.

There are some companies, I won’t name names, but there are some out there who will give you a great game for free, but constantly try and charge you at every turn to try and get a quick buck out of you. They’ve got ads in their games, they’ve got multiple titles, and they’re a big company. So why do they do this?

Sure, every company needs to make the most out of their product. I get that. But is this how a mobile company really works? Is this what’s needed for mobile games to survive? Finding clever ways to make the gamer pay for things they may need or may not want to pay for? It’s a little sad that these companies need to do that.

I’m not sure if it is the fact that there’s so little money in the mobile market or it’s just the business model of that company, but I feel like something has to change to make some of these really great games that are hidden in the App Store or Google Play Store, rise up and survive without having to try and get gamers to pay a lot of cash for stuff that should just be in the game.

I’ll be writing more as Game Mob goes into production, but I’m excited for this new opportunity and to see where this part of the industry goes.

#nerdsunite

Want more from John? Click here to follow him on the twitter!

Check out his gaming site too!

#NerdsUnite: The Gospel According to John (My Teenage Daughter)

<editorsnote> Nerds, you may already know my buddy John as "Confessions of a Video Game Journalist" but what you DON'T know el senor John is that not only does he also help out as TNTML's intern, he is hands down one of the wisest people I have ever met. For reals, you need to grab a beer with this guy at some point in your life. The things that come out of his mouth ... wowzah! I decided he needs a special column devoted to his wisdom - and now here it is. The gospel according to John. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JOHN !!</editorsnote>

Question this week: What dating advice would you give to your teenage daughter?

Oh boy, this is a great question. Honestly, every man dreads the day he has a teenage daughter. I’ll give you a couple of reasons why. For starters, he worries that he won’t be able to connect with her due to some of the obstacles between male and female in thinking and feeling. He won’t be able to relate to her. Won’t know what to say to her. How to play with her. How to handle boyfriends. The list is endless.

I thought good and hard about this and I tried to come up with the right things to say, but the truth is, there are no right things to say. Nothing can prepare anyone for this moment. It’s like being asked to do “the birds and the bees.”

I’m going to try something a little different, however. I’m going to write this like a letter to her. So, here goes:

Hi Sweetheart,

It’s Dad. Obviously. I know you’re growing up and I know you’re starting to look at people (boys or girls, I don’t care) and you’re starting to have feelings for them.  You want to start dating, to start sharing time with them.

That’s wonderful. I’m so happy for you.

I just want you to know that I support you in your happiness. I want you to find that person who makes you happy and to be with them. But, I want you to know some things and to tell you some things that will help.

Don’t be in a rush. Please, for the love of all things, don’t rush it. Take your time in the relationship and work at it. Don’t feel like you have to make it happen and that a relationship will make you feel grown-up. It won’t. And don’t let the other person rush you either. In any regard. If they aren’t willing to accept a slow pace and they just want to get physical and that’s it, they’re not worth your time. It shows that they don’t respect you and if you don’t respect yourself enough to take a stand for how you feel and what you believe in, then they will walk all over you. And no daughter of mine will be walked over.

There’s a song that always helps me whenever I try to rush things or whenever I worry about things not happening fast enough, and it applies to dating too. I heard it first at a concert when grandpa and grandma were taking me around the country to look at colleges that were trying to scout me for track. It’s by an artist named Billy Joel, from his song Vienna:

Slow down, you crazy child 
you're so ambitious for a juvenile 
But then if you're so smart, tell me 
Why are you still so afraid? 

Where's the fire, what's the hurry about? 
You'd better cool it off before you burn it out 
You've got so much to do and 
Only so many hours in a day 

But you know that when the truth is told.. 
That you can get what you want or you get old 
You're gonna kick off before you even 
Get halfway through 
When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?

Vienna is whatever you want it to be, but you’re so young and you have so much life to live, don’t rush through it. You’ll get there.

Next, don’t think that the first relationship you’ll have will be the only one. I know that these relationships exist, I do. My parents met in high school and they’ve been together ever since. But, just because that happened for them, doesn’t mean it will happen for you. I know that that’s a hard fact to swallow, but trust me it was harder when I went through it.

I met this girl, beautiful girl, wonderful girl, who I latched onto. We were inseparable. We did so much together and we shared so many memories, we were blinded by each other. While I don’t regret my time with her one bit, all four and a half years we dated, I do regret that by rushing into the relationship I entrenched myself in it.

Oddly enough, it took her parents asking her to date other people to see if she was really happy with me to see that we had blinded ourselves to the problems in our own relationship. This was so difficult. I thought that I would marry this woman, that we would grow old together, but at the end of the day we broke up and moved on. But because we were so blinded by each other, we forgot about being honest with each other and ourselves.

I’m not saying that you have to date every single person who asks you out or that you should go around breaking hearts just because you need to experience different things, but know that if something isn’t working out and there are problems, it may be time to move on if they don’t get better or you find yourself losing interest. It’s hard doing something for other people, but it’s even harder doing something like that for yourself. You’ll feel mean, rotten and bad. But at the end of the day, you’ll be doing both of you a favor, because it’s not fair for them to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with them anymore, and it’s not fair to you to be with a person you don’t want to be with anymore.

If you spend all your time with one person and you’re not open to the possibility that someone else might come along, then you may miss out on the one you’re meant to be with. This could take a long time, but the key is to remember that if you’re not happy, then they won’t be happy. So, be with the person that makes you happy, and that finding them may take some time and that they might not be the first person you meet.

Be honest. Don’t ever think that you have to avoid a topic for the other person’s sake if it genuinely concerns you. If something is on your mind, say it. That goes for them too. If something is on their mind and they don’t want to talk about it, remember it later. Not talking about something that is important is just another way of ignoring the problem. Never ignore a problem. Talk them out, communicate, be smart.

Don’t spend all your time with that person. I know you want to spend every waking minute with them and when you’re apart it feels like there’s a piece of you missing, but revel in the freedom that you have. A relationship is not two people in one life, it is two lives being shared by two people. If your lives cross over so much that you end up not having any identity other than just “You Two,” you’re doing something wrong.

Take some time to do stuff for you. Have a girls’ night. Go out on your own and find people who share similar interests. If your partner likes those too, then great! But it doesn’t mean that they have to be the only person you hang around. You’ll find that if you spend all your time together, you’ll have nothing to talk about because you both know everything that happened. But, if you spend time doing your own things, then when you do get together you’ll have plenty to talk about and share. And maybe they’ll be able to help you with something you thought you couldn’t do by yourself.

Don’t worry about wondering if you’re in love or not. I did that and it sucks. The only advice that I can give is that you’ll know you’re in love when all the songs make sense. It’s something I heard one time and honestly, that’s the best advice I can give. Don’t expect it to be like anything you’ve seen or read about. Don’t expect to feel a certain way, don’t expect anything. You’ll know in your own way because everyone is different and everyone has their own way of feeling it.

Also, dating is never like the movies, it never will be, and fairytale romances are just that, fairytales. Do not expect a prince charming, do not expect to be treated like a princess. You aren’t one. And they aren’t princes or knights in shining armor or warrior princesses or whatever.  You are a person, just like everyone else and so are they. Treat them with respect and understanding and if they treat you the same way, then they’re good enough to date you. If they don’t treat you with respect and understanding, they’re not worth your time.

You will make mistakes. So will they. Don’t write them off right away because they screwed up once or twice. Talk to them about it and why you felt hurt. Don’t be ashamed when they do the same thing. Relationships take work and time and mistakes. Communicate, be smart and realize that nobody is perfect. Neither are you. Do not place yourself above anyone else. The moment you do that, no one will be good enough and you will be looking forever. I guarantee it.

Honey, there’s so much more that I want to talk about with you, but there’s just so much that you have to experience on your own too. I can only prepare you. Just remember: be honest, don’t rush, be understanding, take time for yourself, and communicate. Those are the most important things. I love you so much, sweetie. I want you to be happy and I know that you will be.

And if anyone ever hurts you I will break their legs. I’m your father, not a saint.

Love,

Dad

#nerdsunite

Want more from John? Click here to follow him on the twitter!

Check out his gaming site too!

#NerdsUnite: The Gospel According to John (Do you believe in monogamy?)

<editorsnote> Nerds, you may already know my buddy John as "Confessions of a Video Game Journalist" but what you DON'T know el senor John is that not only does he also help out as TNTML's intern, he is hands down one of the wisest people I have ever met. For reals, you need to grab a beer with this guy at some point in your life. The things that come out of his mouth ... wowzah! I decided he needs a special column devoted to his wisdom - and now here it is. The gospel according to John. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JOHN !!</editorsnote>

Question: Do you believe in monogamy?

Absolutely. I really really do. This partially has to do with my folks being together for so freaking long and seeing other people together for so long. Granted, I’ve seen relationships fall apart in and outside of my family so I know that not everything works out that way and I acknowledge that. However, I think monogamy exists just as naturally as polyamorous relationships and “open” relationships.

It’s funny, my girlfriend and I were talking about this a while back because we both know a lot of couples or individuals that are polyamorous or in open relationships. What are these things, for those of you who are not familiar? These relationships allow the two engaged in it to have multiple partners, lover, significant others, but still continue to be with a specific person.

Now, what is the benefit of these specific types of relationships? I have no idea, and to be honest I’ve not seen more than one actually work well without someone in the relationship feeling misled, mistreated and betrayed. The same can happen in a monogamous relationship, don’t get me wrong, but why would you need multiple partners, lovers and etc.?

Okay, let’s look at why people say they don’t believe in monogamy.

“I don’t think we’re supposed to be with just one person.”

“I would get tired of the same person for that long.”

“It doesn’t feel natural.”

“I’m just attracted to so many people, being with one person makes me feel like I’ll cheat because I’m attracted to so many people.”

The reasons go on and on and on and I’ve heard them all. Here are my responses to the ones above however,

“If you don’t feel that way, that’s totally fine and if you can find someone else that feels that way then I think you’re going to have a happy relationship or multiple relationships. However, I think the problem will arise with the other relationships and making sure those people are comfortable with you being with multiple people. No one, I mean NO ONE, wants to be Number Two. If you can find people who are comfortable with that, then you’re gold!”

“You would get tired of the same person for that long? If you think you’re going to get tired of a person, maybe you shouldn’t enter in a relationship with them. If you still want to boink them, that’s a different story, but try explaining to them that you just want to sleep with them and not date them and see how that works. If they’re cool with it, then have fun, but I can guarantee that a majority of people will feel used and or insulted that you just want to sleep with them and not be romantically involved. It’s kind of a backhanded compliment in my opinion. Also, it’s entirely possible to be with someone and then realize you don’t want to be with them after a period of time. I completely understand that and that’s what happens in most relationships. However, if there is doubt at the very beginning, don’t jump into that pool.”

“It doesn’t feel ‘natural?’ What’s natural? Do you know that animals practice monogamy? Oh yeah, totally. Barn owls, gibbon apes, penguins, coyotes, beavers and bald eagles are all monogamous. There are many more I just didn’t want to list them all. Saying you don’t think monogamy is natural is like saying you think that homosexuality is unnatural. But, if you’re using the animal kingdom as justification for your reason for monogamy not being natural, let’s look at some major examples that people use to justify.

Lions are like Mormons in the fact that the women are monogamous and the man is not. The main male lion in the pride has multiple wives who go and feed him and take care of the children. Why does this happen? The male lion is the one that protects the pride should they come under attack. Unless you’re saying that all of your girlfriends are giving you sex, love and companionship in exchange for protection, you’re relationship is not like a lion’s.

Bonobos. Okay, these little guys are really close to us in the genetic chain. I get why people use them as examples. However, look at the reason they engage in mass intercourse and multiple-partner relationships. They have sex to say hello, they have sex to settle arguments and they have sex just to have sex. That’s fine. I challenge you to find a community of individuals that is totally okay with having sex and then forgetting how they felt or why they were mad at you. If you can, then my friend you’ve found the Promised Land and I’m sure a huge group will follow you there.

Many bird species.  Okay, birds sleep with multiple partners because they’re programmed to find the mate that has the most desirable traits that will produce the best offspring. So, if you’re sleeping with a multitude of people because you’re trying to impregnate the women who have the best traits or you’re trying to get pregnant from the most desirable male with the best traits, then you’re like most animals and birds. If you’re not doing that, then you can’t use birds. I’m sorry.”

"Are you seriously that horny and or attracted to so many people that you can’t be happy with one person? Do you get sad with just one person? Is it that you get tired of a person sexually or disinterested in them as a person? I cannot honestly understand this reasoning to be involved in multiple people, but that’s just me. This goes along with the whole fear of having sex with the same person for the remainder of the relationship or the rest of your marriage thing. Is that so bad? Maybe you should date people who have the same sexual tastes as you, or someone who can actively try and satisfy your needs as you try and do the same thing. If that’s not something you’re willing to do, then I don’t know what to say and you really may just need to have sex with a lot of people. If that makes you happy and you don’t hurt people, then my friend go in peace and be happy.”

My main thing with these justifications is that there is one rule I have when it comes to these relationships that are polyamorous or open. Please, for the love of everything, do not dismiss the feelings of others. That’s how you become that asshole dude who sleeps around and cheats or the crazy girl who breaks guys’ hearts. We are humans, not animals. We have complex and often hard to express emotions. That is what separates us from them. We can communicate in other ways than having sex or mating displays. We talk. We have a complex language that allows us to become closer in more ways than just physical. Please, realize that.

If you’re going to engage in an open relationship or a polyamorous one, communicate with each person that this is the kind of thing you’re into. If someone is not down for that, then do not force the issue. If they are cool with it, then great! Enjoy each other! If, at some time, they start to have doubts, then don’t be mad. Not everyone may be comfortable with this lifestyle, or as I said before, not everyone likes being Number 2 for long. Or Number 6 for that matter.

Now, what do I think about monogamous relationships? I think the key to these is being honest. About everything. This requires communication. Now, I’m not talking about honesty in just thought and word, I’m talking in action too.

For example: Do not deny the fact that each of you will be attracted to multiple people as you see them. It’s just a fact of life. So my suggestion is the Museum Rule that my girlfriend and I have implemented. You can look at the art, you can admire the art, you can appreciate the art…but you can’t touch it and you can’t bring it home with you. So, she can look at guys, flirt with them every now and them, I can look at girls and admire their looks and flirt occasionally, but we never hide the fact that we have a boyfriend or girlfriend and we always come back to each other.

Monogamy requires self-control. Willpower. The ability to say, “No” and appreciate what you have. If you can openly communicate, be honest and if you implement the Museum Rule, then I think your monogamous relationship really can work and be very healthy. I really do. That’s my opinion at least.

#nerdsunite

Want more from John? Click here to follow him on the twitter!

Check out his gaming site too!

#NerdsUnite: Confessions of a Videogame Journalist

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy John. We started talking on the twitter not too long ago, and then he reached out and asked if he could write for us regarding his journey through the nerdy realm. I was all DUDDEEE!! That's so raaaddd!! And now, here we are. Like right now, in real time, this is happening. Pretty cool huh? HIT IT JOHN!!! </editorsnote> 

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JohnSollitto

So, it’s been a very interesting last week or so. Obviously in the wake of the Connecticut shooting, many people on TNTML have spoken about the tragedy. It is an outright shame and atrocity that such a thing happened. When the life of any human being is taken in any form, it’s not okay. If a child’s is taken, it’s even worse. My friend is a teacher just 40 minutes away from Sandy Hook up there and I texted her as soon as I could to make sure she was okay, thankfully she was. But it just goes to show you that even here, in California, you can be touched by such a tragedy.

That being said, I was part of another sort of crisis situation last week, two days before the Sandy Hook tragedy. It was not nearly as scary or terrible as the incident with the children, but it was still somewhat frightening.

I was at school, Cal State University Fullerton, giving my honors presentation, when two dangerous men entered our campus and took refuge there. One hid in the business building while the other was supposedly still at large somewhere on campus. The police sent SWAT teams into the business building to search room by room for the man that hid there. According to reports, they were armed, and were fleeing the scene of a robbery where they had shot the pawn store clerk who worked there.

So, armed and dangerous men on my school campus while I was doing work, while my entire family (mother, sister and father) was on campus there to see me. We didn’t know about the men until another student came barreling into the room I was giving my presentation asking “Can I hide in here?” Not sure what was going on, we let her stay, until we heard over the PA system, “Attention, attention. This is campus police, there is an emergency on campus and it is now in immediate lockdown. Do not leave the room you are in, close the doors and stay quiet. If you are outside, leave campus or go inside immediately.” We heard that message dozens of times that day, waiting, hoping if everything was going to be alright.

I think the worst part of the entire thing was knowing that my father was supposed to be in that business building later that day, and had he not been at my presentation, he might have been in that building when the armed man had rushed in, and who knows what would have happened. That was what frightened me the most. The sheer coincidence.

I live tweeted about the event as it occurred there, but it became pretty dull as we found that the SWAT and police never found the man who had taken refuge in the building. 7 hours or so in that library, waiting to hear if we were safe or still in danger, not knowing anything but what we could learn off of the live-feeds from the internet and news websites. No one came to check on us, at least that I saw, the whole night till we were evacuated from the library. We were worried that no police had come to see us because what if someone was hurt, diabetic, pregnant? Of course there was no such emergency, but we got angry and frustrated that we weren’t taken care of. Honestly, we shouldn’t have been pissed off because we were safe and sound, but it was the anxiety talking.

Of course, we had internet, water, bathrooms and every other person had some kind of snacks on them, so we weren’t in a terrible condition, but it was the anxiety. This was, of course, nothing like the Connecticut shooting, but it was my own taste of what could have been.

What was even worse? Three days after this? My folks went to Fashion Island in Newport Beach to do some shopping. It was the first time in a year or more that they had gone to that mall. Some time after they did their shopping? A man came to the mall and shot the place up. I’m not even kidding. They missed being there when that occurred.

I don’t know what it is. If there’s something in the water, if it’s this 2012 bullshit that’s making everyone crazy, or if it’s just random coincidence, but by god it’s scary. I mean, honestly. I don’t know what’s going on anymore. I don’t know what can be done to stop it. I don’t know what anyone can do about it. But I’m scared sometimes, just at the thought of what could happen to my friends and family. So that’s my confession this time, gang. It’s not bad to be scared. It’s okay. I’m scared too, and I don’t blame you.

#nerdsunite

Want more from John? Click here to follow him on the twitter!

Check out his gaming site too!

#NerdsUnite: The Gospel According to John (to trim or not to trim? that is the question)

<editorsnote> Nerds, you may already know my buddy John as "Confessions of a Video Game Journalist" but what you DON'T know el senor John is that not only does he also help out as TNTML's intern, he is hands down one of the wisest people I have ever met. For reals, you need to grab a beer with this guy at some point in your life. The things that come out of his mouth ... wowzah! I decided he needs a special column devoted to his wisdom - and now here it is. The gospel according to John. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JOHN !!</editorsnote>

Question this week: Does pubic hair really matter to men and if so what is the preferred grooming method?

This…is a dicey question for every male to answer because it’s such a two-way street when it comes to this kind of thing. A guy can’t really ask for a specific thing or style here without offering to do the same for his partner, or vice versa so this relies heavily on communication.

I know a lot of guys who want the completely shaven look, partially because of the porn industry and it’s fascination with the fad. They may have their own reasons but that’s their business. I find several problems arise when this is the preferred method for the man in the relationship.

I know many girls who feel like having the completely shaven look makes them feel like they’re a little girl and not a woman, and it unnerves them to think that a grown man could want that. I can understand that feeling. I’m also sure that, if they don’t feel that particular way about it, it’s a lot of work and also probably painful for some.

Then we get into the wonderful world of style in this area and quite frankly I can’t take this question serious enough to describe each and every style of grooming down there. Suffice it to say that if you’re really interested in learning about this, there’s the wide world of the internet to inform you on all of the lovely styles.

I’ve heard dozens of guys complain about doing it themselves for their own personal preference. The most colloquial term is “trimming the banzai tree” which I find hilarious and probably apt for anybody doing this sort of thing. So, I get it, doing this sort of thing is a long process, it’s hard to do and often times painful.

I’m going to be honest with you; this is an entirely subjective subject to personal preference between both parties. What I am going to say is you should really talk about this thing if it is a huge deal for you. If what is going on down there is so distracting to you that you can’t do your business, maybe you’re focusing on the wrong thing?

Regardless, it really shouldn’t matter what’s going on down there. Think about it. We probably only started doing something like this because someone somewhere got self-conscious about how they looked and decided to change it up. Just like Adam and Eve putting on clothes.

If you feel weird or feel like your business is not the best looking thing, that’s on you and you can do whatever you want to it. It’s your body. If you’re doing something because your partner told you to do it, then that might not be the best reason.

However, if you don’t have a problem shaving down there or grooming down there, then by all means, do something that your partner likes or that you feel comfortable with. It’s just like doing your hair or putting on make-up if you think about it. Just remember that it is your body and you can choose to do with it what you will.

There is no preferred method, there is no right way to g0 about it and there is no law or rule for this. There’s a flavor of ice cream for each person and there’s the kind of ice cream that people feel good about scooping out. You just got to find the right person who will scoop your flavor, if that makes sense to you.

#nerdsunite

Want more from John? Click here to follow him on the twitter!

Check out his gaming site too!