Celebrity Cage Match: Who Will Win?

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @maniacalmorgan

I've picked two celebrities that I want to see duke it out. Complete fight to the death. What I want is for you guys to tell me who you think would win. Tweet me, Facebook me, or email me (Morgan@talknerdytomelover.com). Here's the line up:

Robert Pattinson (@robTomPattinson)

Robert Pattinson was born on May 13, 1986, in London, England. He enjoys music and is an excellent musician, playing both the guitar and piano.

When Robert was 15, he started acting in amateur plays with the Barnes Theatre Company. Afterward, he took screen role like Curse of the Ring (2004) (TV) (Kingdom of Twilight) as Giselher.

In 2003, Robert took on the role of Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005). He got his role a week later after meeting Mike Newell in late 2003.

He has since been cast as Edward Cullen in the highly-anticipated film, Twilight (2008/I). His music will also be heard in the film. Additionally, Robert has completed upcoming roles as Salvador Dalí in Little Ashes (2008) and Art in How to Be (2008).

VS

Justin Bieber (@JustinBieber)

Justin Bieber born March 1st, 1994 is a Canadian pop-R&B singer. Bieber was discovered in 2008 by Scooter Braun, who happened to come across Bieber's videos on YouTube and later became his manager. Braun arranged for him to meet with Usher in Atlanta, Georgia, and Bieber was soon signed to Raymond Braun Media Group (RBMG), a joint venture between Braun and Usher, and then to a recording contract with Island Records offered by L.A. Reid.

His debut single, "One Time", was released worldwide during 2009, and charted within the top 30 in over ten countries. It was followed by his debut release, My World, on November 17, 2009, which was certified platinum in the United States, making him the first artist to have seven songs from a debut album chart on the Billboard Hot 100. His first full studio release, My World 2.0, was released on March 23, 2010 and has since received similar success; it debuted at number one and within the top ten of several countries and was certified platinum in the United States. It was preceded by the worldwide top-ten single, "Baby," in January 2010. Bieber is considered a teen idol.

 In this fight to the death, who will win? That is for you to decide.

Bios taken from IMDB.com and wiki.com respectively.

You Laugh, You Lose

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @maniacalmorgan

Hello again! I expect that everyone is doing dandy on this wonderful Saturday. Things are going swell for moi. The holidays are coming up which is exciting! I mean, forced social interaction isn't always "fun" if you're like me and do the family thing, but family is family. The good vastly outweighs the bad. Considering I get to eat as much delicious food as I can for Thanksgiving, I'm stoked. Me + food = happy. Anyway, time for You Laugh, You Lose. You should know the rules by now. I show you some pictures and if you laugh, you lose. When you lose you have to "like" us on Facebook. Enjoy!

Umm... yeah. Just be honest and click "like." We know you laughed.

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A True (Mostly... Not Really) #Story

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @maniacalmorgan

Today started just like any other day. I rolled out of bed, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I stumbled down the hall to the bathroom. I had to get ready to go to work. With a yawn, I applied the toothpaste to my toothbrush and proceeded to thoroughly clean my teeth. "5:30AM is too freaking early," I thought to myself. I wandered back to my room, threw on my clothes, grabbed my keys, and headed out the door.

As I put the key in the ignition, I let out an audible yawn. "I really shouldn't have stayed up so late," I said to my imaginary passenger. I started the engine and sighed as I realized that I was talking to myself again. I put the car in reverse and backed down the driveway. I slammed on the breaks as some reckless Toyota came screaming down the street. "Asshole," I mumbled. I made it down the street and onto the freeway without further excitement. Just another day.

I accelerated my car to catch up with the other cars on the freeway. I mentally went over which route I should take even though it never changes. As I pondered to myself, I heard a raspy voice say. "Helloooo..." My heart rate rose as I checked my rear view mirror. Nothing was there. I turned around with the same results. I chalked it up to engine noise. A few minutes later, the same voice said, "Behiiiiiiind youuuuuuu..." I knew I wasn't hearing things. Doing my best job to keep the car straight, I turned around again. Nothing. "What the hell?" I thought to myself. As I turned around to face the road, my gaze was met by the biggest spider I had ever seen.

"HOLYFUCKINGSHIT," I screamed. "I have beeeeeen watchiiiing you," breathed the spider. "You have kiiiiiiiiiiilled many of our kiiiiiiiiind. Now you must dieeeeeee!" Lighting fast, the spider lauched itself at my face. I grabbed one of it's legs and was barely able to hold it back. "Shit shit shit," I thought as it was slowly overpowering me. I had to think of something fast. I slammed on the brakes. As I strained against the seatbelt, I saw the spider go slamming into the windscreen. I jumped out of my car in the middle of the freeway. Other cars were wizzing by with their horns blaring. I couldn't focus on that now. I coudln't let this spider get me. I looked in the car, but the spider was no where to be found.

I stood there scratching my head as I looked into the empty car. My heart was still pounding. What could have happened to it? All of the sudden, I felt warm breath on my neck. I ducked right as the spider swung 4 of it's legs at me. I dodged the first two, but the spider still connected, sending me flying back into the side of my car. The impact of my body hitting the car was enough to knock the wind out of me. The spider saw it's time to attack and proceeded to wrap it's legs around my neck. I couldn't breathe! As the world started to turn black, I made one last ditch effort. I threw me knee into it's thorax as hard as I could. It was enough to cause the spider to stumble back - right into an oncoming semi-truck. SPLAT.

It was over. It was finally over. I wasn't going to let a spider get the best of me. I live to fight another day. I was able to snap one picture...

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#Zombie Haiku

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @maniacalmorgan

The following was sent to me through OkCupid. It's from Zombie Haiku: Good Poetry For Your... Brains

Dear Mom, I love you.
This ain't my most poetic,
But I really hurt.

Something is not right.
If my blood is in puddles,
Why do I feel so strong?

After I was bit,
I knew I was in trouble
Then I bit me too.

There's nothing quite like
The pain you feel while dying-
Switching to hunger.

My skin is drying
My veins are much more pronounced
And I'm turning gray.

The diseased outside
Slowly stop clawing the car
Uninterested

My lungs slow and stop
And I can't find my heartbeat
But I'm still hungry.

Although my neck hole
Used to whistle when I breathed
Now I don't breathe

I am so hungry
And only one thing sounds good
Time to leave the car.

One thing on my mind
Only one thing on my mind
I'm going to eat you...

Brains, BRAINS, BRains, brains, BRAINS,
BRaiNS, brains, Brains, BRAINS, BRains, brains, BRAINS
BRAINS, BRains, brains, BRAINS, brains

I exit the car
As the others slouch away
Off for fresher food

As I start walking
I try to remember where
People like to hide

My memory slows
And I can't remember much
But I know enough

I remember home
And I remember my mom
And her meaty thighs

I can remember
Good food that Mom used to make.
I bet Mom tastes good.

Walking down the streets
I just barely remember
How to find her house.

Turning on her road
And seeing the porch light on
Makes me salivate

What is that low growl?
I look around and notice
That moaning is me.

Through the door's peephole
My mom just stands there and stares
As I claw the door

The side porch window
Lets us stare at each other
Both of us yelling

I can't remember
how to open this window
So I'll just stand here

She won't let me in
But I fix the window glitch
By leaning through it

She is much faster
But going upstairs leads nowhere
And I'm much stronger

Fresh food smells so good,
Like pasta Mom used to make.
Mom's brains smell good.

I loved my momma,
I eat her with my mouth closed,
How she would want it.

My dad used to say
"Always finish what you start."
So I eat her hair.

I lose my front teeth
While trying to pry her hair
Out from between them

Thinking about Dad
Makes me think of better times
But then back to meat

I bet Dad's upset.
He probably came back too.
But coffins are dark.

Reanimation
Would be much more difficult
Inside a coffin

Nothing left to eat
So I slowly leave Mom's house
Back out the window

She's always with me,
Especially if my gut
Can't digest toenails.

Yes yes and yes. Zombies + haikus = super nerdy? Something like that. I approve. Thank you, ma'am, for this poem!

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May The Force Be With You...

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @maniacalmorgan

This is what Star Wars: A New Hope would have looked like on Facebook.

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